guiltyred (guiltyred) wrote in areyougame, @ 2008-10-30 23:29:00 |
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Current mood: | drained |
Cid and Shera’s Redneck Romance, Final Fantasy VII (Cid/Shera)
Title: Cid and Shera’s Redneck Romance
Author: GuiltyRed
Rating: PG13
Warnings: language, bad behavior
Word count: about 2700
Prompt: Final Fantasy VII, Cid/Shera: Redneck Romance - Come over here, woman!
Summary: A romance in 12 acts drabbles.
A/N: Sorry this is so insanely late (due 10/16)! Work killed me ded. Aaaand, these don’t actually happen on consecutive days, it’s just the idiom. :3
1.
On the first day o’ courtin’
my true love gave to me
My name on the side of his new airship
“It’s…nice?”
Cid threw his paint-spattered gloves on the ground. “Goddamn it, woman! I ain’t the kind o’ man who has money to throw around on – on –” He sputtered to a halt. Even Cid’s ample imagination couldn’t supply him with the sort of expensive whatsits he thought Shera really deserved, and he wasn’t about to tell her that.
Shera, meanwhile, took another look at the slightly crooked and off-center scrawl of fluorescent orange safety paint, and just smiled.
2.
On the second day o’ courtin’
my true love gave to me
Two cups of tea
“Woman! Move yer ass! Where’s the goddamn tea?”
Shera took a deep breath and carefully poured the hot water into the ceramic pot; its delicate painted dragonflies seemed to bask in the steam. Satisfied that the pot wasn’t going to crack down the side like the last one did, she set the new teacups on the tray and carried the whole thing out to the table.
Cid waited until the tea was poured to dispose of his cigarette, waited until Shera had seated herself before he spoke again. “I see you found the new tea set. Ya better not break this one! It’s from Wutai, expensive as all shit.”
Bowing her head slightly, Shera murmured, “I’ll take good care of it.”
“You better. I, uh…” Cid scrubbed a hand through his hair, looked anywhere but at her. “I bought it for ya. I know you like dragonflies and all that sissy shit.”
3.
On the third day o’ courtin’
my true love gave to me
Three old friends
“I’m coming, hang on a second!” Shera hurried toward the door in answer to rapid pounding. She reached out to open it, then paused, listening.
A young man’s voice sounded through the door. “She’s not home, let’s go.”
“Not so fast, hot stuff!” This voice sounded gruff by comparison. “He said she’d be here, knock again.”
“If you two weren’t so loud you’d have heard her say to hang on a second.” The third voice, low and spectral, was familiar.
Shera opened the door. “Vincent? What are you and Barret and – Cloud? What the…?”
Vincent flipped a switch on the large silver case that stood on the ground next to him as Barret hooted, “Go get ‘er, tiger!”
Cloud blushed darker than Vincent’s cloak, closed his eyes, then began to gyrate to the music, peeling off his gloves one by one.
Shera clapped her hands over her mouth and stared wide-eyed as the blond hunk proceeded to strip down to boots and a jock strap, all in time with the beat.
Cloud leaned in close and kissed her on the cheek, pressed an envelope into her hands, then sprang back out of reach and began rounding up his clothing.
Dumbstruck, Shera opened the card.
Happy birthday, darlin’! I wanted to get you something you’d never had before, and I figured a stripper would just about do the trick, so to speak. Have dinner ready for me, and I’ll bring the whiskey! Cid
Shera smiled up at the three men. “Thank you, that was a first for me. I’m curious, though.” She cocked her head toward Vincent. “How come you weren’t the stripper?”
“Easy,” Vincent murmured. “I don’t own a motorcycle that’s in need of hard-to-get imported parts.”
4.
On the fourth day o’ courtin’
my true love gave to me
Four chicobos
“But my birthday was just last month!”
“Shut it, woman! Can’t a man get a woman a present without her runnin’ her goddamn mouth over it?”
Shera looked at the fuzzy little puffballs in the big cardboard box.
The fuzzy little puffballs looked back.
Cid watched all this intently as if waiting for something.
“They are kind of cute…”
“See? I saw ‘em, and I just thought how much you’d like ‘em. They might grow up to be racers someday.”
Shera considered this, decided it wasn’t a bad idea to have a small flock of chocobos as pets. The birds could be as effective as having a big slobbery guard dog, after all. She smiled a little and took one out of the box.
“No, don’t pick it up!” Cid yelled, but it was too late.
The chick had seen him. “KWEH!!!”
The other three chimed in with a series of demanding peeps.
Shera tried to hold on to the one chick in her hands, but it squirmed free and fluttered to the ground. With a loud and resolute “WARK!!” the chick ran straight at Cid – and began nuzzling his boot.
Shera gently tipped the box, letting the other three chicks join the first in a frenzy of contentment. “Got ‘em for me, huh?” she said with a laugh. “Got yourself imprinted is more like it, you clown. But yes, you can keep them, and no, I won’t tell.”
5.
On the fifth day o’ courtin’
my true love gave to me
Five ma-te-ri-aaaaaaa! (ba-dum-bum-bum)
Considering what sort of mischief tended to come in cardboard boxes, Shera braced herself before lifting the lid on this one.
No animal sounds came from inside this time, only a sparkle of colored light. Eyes wide, she looked up at Cid. “Where did you get these?”
Cid puffed himself up a bit and said, “Here and there. Got you some good ones, too, in case you ever need ‘em. There’s three cures, a couple of protection types, and a choco/mog summon in case you’re curious to try it.”
“Aren’t summons red?”
“Red as Ifrit’s testicles!”
“There’s no red in here…”
“…YUFFIE!!!”
6.
On the sixth day o’ courtin’
my true love gave to me
A six-headed socket wrench
Shera tore through the gift wrap on the odd-shaped present, then stared at the contents in befuddled gratitude. It wasn’t every day she got a shiny, brand new tool set. “What’s the occasion?”
“Ain’t none,” Cid muttered, scuffing his toe against the floor. “Just saw it and thought, you know, that you might…”
Shera smiled and drew him into her embrace. “I’d love to be your mechanic, Cid.”
The pilot blushed under his 5-o’clock shadow, though he only held her tighter. “How is it that you can make anything sound dirty, woman?”
7.
On the seventh day o’ courtin’
my true love gave to me
A Seventh Heaven party
“Tha’s right, this here’s one HELL of a good woman!” Cid emphasized his words with a sound smack on Shera’s bottom.
Shera laughed and fell into his lap, her feet leaving the floor in a drunken flail.
“How long have you two been together now, anyway?” Cloud asked, setting out another round of drinks.
“You’d think they’d be married by now!” Tifa teased as she changed out the overflowing ashtray for a fresh one.
“No way he’s the marrying kind!” Barret said with a laugh. “‘Sides, I always figured him for the other way. You an’ Vince’d make a damn purty couple, Cap’n!”
“Don’t project your fantasies onto me, Barret,” Vincent said in a warning growl. “Remember, I’ve picked up your mail a time or two. I know what kind of magazines you read…”
“Aw, shaddap, the lot o’ ye!” Cigarette firmly between the fingers that gripped a long-necked bottle with all the determination of the fiercely drunk, Cid gestured wildly in the general direction of the proprietress and her blond consort. “Everyone knows you two are as good as hitched, why don’t HE make an honest woman of YOU, huh?”
Cloud leaned over the table and grinned in his face. “As soon as Tifa catches Shera’s bouquet, I’ll think about it.”
“Hell, we don’t need to be married,” Cid grumbled, shoving Shera off his lap and rising unsteadily to his feet. “We got everything we need, right, doll?”
Tottering toward the stairs, Shera gave him a come-hither gesture. “You will, in about five minutes – if you get over here right now!”
“Like I said, who needs to get hitched?” Cid made to follow her, turned too fast for his boozy reflexes to deal with, pitched into a table and knocked himself out cold.
8.
On the eighth day o’ courtin’
my true love gave to me
Eight ways from Sunday
Some days, even the sky could wait.
Cid looked at the rumpled, slack-faced woman sprawled beside him, her hair tangled across the pillow and a thin line of saliva trailing from her lower lip. Her lacy nightgown lay balled up in the corner, next to his favorite jeans and a half-empty bag of chips. Her panties were nowhere to be seen.
Cid grinned at the memory of losing those in particular. Last night had been spectacular, memorable for all the right reasons.
He lay back down and cuddled her to him, torn between wanting to let her sleep and wanting her to wake up and smile at him.
There’d be time for other things later, after he’d had a few more hours to recover. Damn woman had worn him right the hell out!
Shera mumbled in her sleep and snuggled tight against him.
“Love you too, darlin’,” he whispered, mindful not to wake her just quite yet.
9.
On the ninth day o’ courtin’
my true love gave to me
Nine months of moodswings
“I swear, the woman’s tryin’ to fuckin’ KILL me!” Cid scrubbed a hand through his hair and then reached for his smokes. He knocked one cigarette out of the pack with more force than was strictly necessary; setting the bent nicstick between his teeth, he patted himself down for a lighter.
Before Cid could find one or begin cursing at that fact, Vincent calmly produced a lit match.
“Thanks, Vince, you’re a goddamn lifesaver.” Cid sucked down the smoke as if it were a magical cure. “Women! The hell are they thinkin’, huh? First they want this, then they want that, and when you try an’ give ‘em everything in the Mog-fuckin’ world, they start cryin’! The hell IS that shit?”
“What sort of things does she want, Cid?” Vincent asked in his understated yet commanding way.
“Popcorn. Fried greens.” Cid threw his hands up in frustration. “Weird flavored ice cream. Pickles! Goddamn Wutaian pickled vegetables an’ shit. An’ THEN she tells me she’s getting FAT!”
“Is she?”
Cid glared at the too-cool former Turk. “What the hell you mean by that?”
“Is she getting fat?”
“Well…yeah, now that you mention it…just a little, in the belly.”
Vincent shut his eyes a moment, wishing fervently that Cid had taken his angst to anyone but him this time. “My friend, I think you and I need to have a little talk… You might want to sit down.”
10.
On the tenth day o’ courtin’
my true love gave to me
A ten-pound baby Highwind
“You goddamn son of a bitch! I’m gonna fuckin’ KILL YOUUUUUAAAAGHHHH!!!”
“Just breathe, okay?”
“I am breathin’!” Cid shouted, pasty-faced and shaking. He twitched as Shera’s voice exploded from the other room in yet another outburst of obscenity that rivaled his own on a good day.
“That mother-fucking grease monkey did this to me, where is he, I’m gonna rip his goddamn BALLS OFF-F-F – WHOOOAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!!!!”
Cid slumped against the wall, torn between a desire to be at his woman’s side and the equally powerful need to keep his sensitive parts well out of her reach for the foreseeable future. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take!”
Vincent pressed a shot glass into his hand. “Be glad it’s not you in there.”
“The hell you mean? Men can’t get preg–” His eyes widened at Vincent’s ominous crimson glare. Cid downed the whiskey and held the glass out for a refill. “The fuck they do to you in that lab, Vince?”
Barely seen behind his collar, Vincent’s lips parted to speak even as a sudden gusty wailing sounded from behind the door.
Cid fumbled the glass into Vincent’s hand and barged into the room, eyes wide.
Shera, sweaty-faced but smiling, whispered, “It’s a boy.”
11.
On the eleventh day o’ courtin’
my true love gave to me
Eleven Wutai orchids
Shera wiped her eyes and tried to focus on the card. After everything they’d been through together, this…was unexpected. She glanced at the flowers on the table, then back at the card.
I know this is kind of out of order, not the way this sort of thing is done, but I’m a rough man, and you might say I don’t know any better.
You’ve been my friend for longer than either of us could probably say, you’ve been there through it all, and you’re still around.
You’ve made me a better man, you’ve made me a father.
Would you do me the honor of making me your husband?
12.
On the twelfth day o’ courtin’
my true love gave to me
A twelve-witness wedding
“Are you sure this is all right?”
Cloud smoothed Nanaki’s mane and nodded. “With you here, it’s like the planet is giving them Her blessing. I’m glad you could come.”
Nanaki nodded shyly. “I’ll do my best.”
Cloud returned to Tifa’s side. “Everyone has the jitters but you,” he whispered.
“She hasn’t thrown the bouquet yet,” Tifa whispered back. “Did anyone tell Yuffie what it means if she catches it?”
“I hope so,” Cloud murmured with a soft laugh, “for everyone’s sake.”
“My friends, we have come here to witness the symbolic union of this man and this woman,” Nanaki said in a clear voice. “They have traveled together through seasons of their life-journey, and they have chosen to celebrate their devotion to each other with a ceremony of joining.”
Cid swallowed noisily and glanced to his left.
Crowned with flowers and veiled with lace, Shera smiled like a benevolent goddess.
“Humans use rings to symbolize the unending cycle of love and life,” said Nanaki, “much as the Lifestream is an unending circle that connects everything in our world. In the eyes of the planet, all love is sacred.” He turned toward Cid. “Cid Highwind, you have come here before your friends to announce your love for this woman, and your intention to build a life with her. Is this not so?”
“It is so,” Cid stated firmly, though a swell of emotion threatened to spill over and steal his voice.
“Miss Shera,” Nanaki said, turning toward her, “you have taken this man into your heart, you have had a child with him, and you choose to keep him as your mate. Is this not so?”
Shera beamed at Cid, and suddenly it was as if time itself had paused, waiting for her answer. “It is.”
Nanaki smiled and bowed his head. “Then I think what I’m supposed to say next is, I now pronounce you man and wife. Be happy.”
With a trembling hand, Cid lifted the veil from Shera’s face. He whispered, “I am the luckiest man in the world,” then kissed her with gentle reverence.
Shera’s arms wrapped around him, pulling herself up into his embrace. “I am the luckiest woman.”
In ones and twos, their guests came up to congratulate them.
Yuffie hugged Cid, then pouted as he pried her loose and checked his pockets. “Hey! You don’t have any materia on you, why would I bother?”
“Can’t be too careful,” he replied, reclaiming his cigarette lighter from the little ninja.
Vincent hugged Cid, lingering long enough to whisper, “Knock it off with the rumors, will you? I have a reputation here.”
Rufus Shinra and Rude shook Cid’s hand. Tseng bowed to Shera, while Reno offered Cid a cigarette.
Reeve hugged Shera, then drew back in alarm as Cait Sith tried to cop a feel on the bride.
Barret excused himself to go change baby Highwind’s diaper before anyone passed out from the smell.
Cloud joked with Cid about being domesticated after all this time; Tifa let them have a few moments, then poked Shera in the kidneys. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
Shera smiled and scampered a few steps away. Turning her back, she said, “All right: ladies, Vincent, jump for it!” With that, Shera threw the bouquet over her shoulder.
“Hey, where’d it go?” Yuffie wailed. “I wanted the flowers!”
Tifa looked at Vincent. “You didn’t actually…did you?”
Vincent sighed. “No.”
“Then where…?”
“Oh, for pity’s sake, woman,” Cid growled. “You chucked it up into the rafters.”
Cloud remembered to breathe again. “For a minute there…”
Cid elbowed him in the side. “Before I forget, there’s somethin’ I gotta do. Woman, bring your leg over here!” Cid knelt down and slipped the garter from Shera’s thigh, nipping at her knee as he did so. “All right, men, same as the ladies with the bouquet! Whoever catches the garter is the next to get hitched! Ready?”
Tifa pushed Cloud into line with the others.
Not really wanting to catch the garter but dreading the hell-to-pay if he didn’t even try, Cloud braced himself.
The frilly bit of lace took flight – and vanished from view.
“Ah, hell,” Cid muttered, shaking his head, “don’t know my own strength…”
“Come on, reception’s at the Seventh Heaven,” Tifa said cheerily.
In short order, the old church was empty save for lilies and sunbeams.
Unseen by the newlyweds or their friends, two pastel shadows came together where the couple had stood.
One held a bride’s bouquet.
The other twirled a garter around one finger.
“Be happy.”