InsaneJournal

The three SOLDIERs regarded their prospective transport with some skepticism and a good deal of dismay.

“You’re kidding,” Genesis snarled, waving an impatient hand toward the offending vehicle. “Where did you get that…that…thing?”

“ShinRa motor pool,” Sephiroth muttered, rubbing his temple. “Awkward, yes, but when I made the request three days ago, we didn’t have this…complication.”

Angeal cleared his throat. “Technically, Sephir, we did, we just…”

“The damn thing doesn’t want to fold flat anymore!” Genesis growled. His long, double-jointed wing flexed and snapped as if to emphasize the point.

“Mine has always been a bit…rigid,” Angeal muttered.

“But at least it was small enough to hide in your clothes,” Genesis reminded him. “I’m totally screwed.”

“Gentlemen, please,” Sephiroth murmured, gesturing at both of them to quiet down. “I’ll drive.”

“How do you figure that?” Genesis asked in his prickly way. “Pulling rank?”

Sephiroth gave him an annoyed look and said, “Because I can fit behind the steering wheel.”

“Just because yours hasn’t sprouted yet…”

“And who’s to say it will?” Sephiroth grumbled. “Genesis, I feel for you, I really do, but just because you and Angeal have one set of mismatched wings between you doesn’t mean I’m going to sprout one, two, or half a dozen of the things. Maybe it’s all those stupid apples you two ate.”

“They were grown in an area rich with natural mako,” Angeal mused.

“Angeal! That’s not helpful!” Genesis huffed at his lifelong friend. “It’s not the damn apples’ fault, it’s Hollander’s.”

“I thought Hojo was the official fall guy?” Sephiroth asked, curious now. “If it’s changed, I need a new pincushion…”

Angeal cleared his throat. “We’re going to be late, at this rate.”

“If someone didn’t have balcony seats for ‘Loveless’ and no intention of missing opening night, we wouldn’t be in this mess,” Sephiroth reminded them both. “Angeal, you take shotgun. I’m driving.”

Arms folded and wing fanning back and forth in time with his tapping foot, Genesis said, “What about me?”

Sephiroth spared him an annoyed glance. “You’re small, you can fit in behind Angeal.”

“What!”

“Look, it’s simple geometry,” Sephiroth stated, pointing at the cabriolet. “Angeal has one wing on the right side –”

“One and a quarter, really,” Angeal corrected mildly.

“On the right side,” Sephiroth reiterated. “He rides shotgun, hangs the wing out the window. You sit behind him. If you need the room, we can put the top down and your long-ass wing can hang out the back without getting ripped off in traffic.”

Genesis debated arguing, but realized that if there was any chance of making the opening act in time he’d have to shut up and get in the car. “Fine. But if I find out who arranged for the Smart Car, they’re going to die a lyrically horrible death.”


A/N: Visual reference here.