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joudama ([info]stopthatgirl7) wrote in [info]areyougame,
@ 2008-07-14 21:17:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood: accomplished
Current music:Apocalyptica - Master of Puppets
Entry tags:*final fantasy vii, author: stopthatgirl7

Fragments, Final Fantasy VII (Cloud, Kadaj)
Title: Fragments
Author: joudama
Fandom: Final Fantasy 7 (Advent Children)
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Word count: 317
Summary: They are more alike than he had known, until that moment.
A/N: Sorry this is late! It was for the 11th, but out of nowhere I grew a social life, and my choice was stay home and finish the fic or go out clubbing and boozing, and, um, yeah, clubbing kind of won. And most of the weekend was spent passed out asleep because of said clubbing and boozing. On the plus side, I learned that flirting with the cute Australian bartender+Mozart=Free booze. So I have no regrets.
Prompt: Cloud/Kadaj: Reunion – Death is the starlit strip between the companionship of yesterday and the reunion of tomorrow.


--

And in that moment, he knew--he knew that they were far, far more alike than he had known until that moment.

Kadaj was slight in his arms, breathing tortured and his body wracked with pain, all that was left was for him to die, after he had been taken over and used.

Cloud wondered, sometimes, if it would ever truly end. It seemed like it wouldn't--there never seemed to be closure. Even now, he doubted.

He wished that he could point to the moment when everything first went wrong, but even though he knew what moment it was, even though he remembered it...the memories weren't his. They were someone else's.

And now he held this boy, a slip of a boy smaller than Cloud could remember being but seeming the same age as Cloud had been when all of it went wrong for him, a boy whose life had never been his own, who had spent all of it, short as it was, chasing after another man's dream. And when the moment came, that man had taken him over, scrubbed out all that Kadaj was, and when he left, left the boy, who had never felt whole, to die, and in that moment, Cloud knew.

It hadn't been Zack's fault, but...but how much were him and how much was Zack, a person he knew only from Zack's own memories the same as Kadaj knew Sephiroth only from the voice in his head, he could never know.

The rain was falling, and Kadaj raised his hand, stretching it out to touch, the Mother always just out of reach, but smiling now, as if for once he was finally going to have what he wanted, as the rain began to wash him away.

And Cloud held him as he died, and the tears he shed were not for Kadaj alone, but for everything they had both never had.



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[info]jlsigman
2008-07-14 07:36 am UTC (link)
Oh, WOW. Poor Cloud, poor Kadaj.

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[info]stopthatgirl7
2008-07-14 07:47 am UTC (link)
Thanks.

This one kind of hit me on the train of all places, coming back home from a rehearsal a couple days ago, but life got so busy I didn't have time to write it until just now. It just kinda hit me, how much alike those two are, and how they never knew it.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]cephy
2008-07-14 08:55 am UTC (link)
Mouuu, poor them.

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[info]stopthatgirl7
2008-07-14 09:09 am UTC (link)
No one it that series ever gets a break. They just never, ever do.

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[info]yohjideranged
2008-07-14 09:43 am UTC (link)
Oooooh...ouch!

I never drew that comparison before and no I am wondering why I never did...it is so obvious!

I really loved this. Thank you so much!

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[info]stopthatgirl7
2008-07-14 09:48 am UTC (link)
heh--it's kind of like one of those optical illusions, where you never see it the other way until someone points it out to you, and then you wonder how you ever didn't see it. I didn't see it until a few days ago, when it just suckerpunched me.

And thank you; I'm really glad you liked it! I just wish I could have had it in on time... ^^;;

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[info]yohjideranged
2008-07-14 11:31 am UTC (link)
I don't mind if people are late or early. The prompt dates are really just so that the community doesn't get flooded all at once! Saves the flist, really.

Sad thing is, now you have made me want to go and read your other fics...and I just don't have the TIME!!! ^_^ You are evil! *sob*

Hey, would you mind if I friend your journal from my primary one ([info]teamromy)...that way I won't miss an update of any of your fics. Oh, and I would love to read your "living abroad" adventures. If you don't mind, of course.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]stopthatgirl7
2008-07-14 11:44 am UTC (link)
LOL, heh, it just bugs me because I am by nature a slacker, and so I try to keep myself to deadlines. I'm far too "Ooh, shiny!" and easily distracted, so I use deadlines to keep myself focused. ^^;;

And hee hee, I'll accept that evil. *preens* (...and I have no idea how it is I ended up writing so much fic this year. I think it's my brain's revenge for not writing for too long.)

And sure, you can friend my journal. :DDD I admit, though, I don't put too many of my living abroad adventures up, but I'm starting to throw them in (regale in the stories of jou's battle with Personal Space Shuffle Boy! *death* *stabbity*)

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[info]visual_syntax
2008-07-14 02:57 pm UTC (link)
...really?

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[info]teamromy
2008-07-14 03:02 pm UTC (link)
Yes, really.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]visual_syntax
2008-07-14 03:37 pm UTC (link)
Sorry, it was obvious to me when I saw the movie.

I was just surprised.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]teamromy
2008-07-14 03:42 pm UTC (link)
No, it's alright.

I didn't really know or understand Cloud's history until about 10 or so months ago. Then, well, I guess I was extremely dismissive of Cloud and didn't put any comparison together with him and Kadaj. To me, it just seemed like they were nothing alike.

This is a new perspective to me. It may actually force me to change my feelings toward Cloud...

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[info]stopthatgirl7
2008-07-14 05:46 pm UTC (link)
I've seen the movie several times and it only just occurred to me. There are a lot of different ways of looking at the characters and their relationships, and sometimes you don't see one way--it's like the optical illusion thing I mentioned before. Some people see the old lady, some people see the young one.

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[info]visual_syntax
2008-07-14 09:56 pm UTC (link)
Right. Let's just consider it a personal attatchment.

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[info]pukjie
2008-07-14 12:54 pm UTC (link)
Ow. D:

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[info]stopthatgirl7
2008-07-14 05:37 pm UTC (link)
*nods* D:

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[info]pukjie
2008-07-14 06:46 pm UTC (link)
My heart. I think it's broken D:

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[info]greenjudy
2008-07-14 06:07 pm UTC (link)
Lord, what a sad reading of that scene, oh...

**cries**


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[info]stopthatgirl7
2008-07-14 06:23 pm UTC (link)
That scenes just makes me sad when I watch it. It feels like Kadaj never got a chance to be anything other than what Seph and Jenova were trying to make him.

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[info]chibirisuchan
2008-07-15 10:20 am UTC (link)
*wiiiiiiiibbble* ;____; yeah, for all Cloud wanted to deny they were anything alike, Kadaj has a lot more reasons than just Jenova to keep calling him nii-san. Because Cloud's been there and done that first -- all of it, losing himself to Sephiroth, losing everything that mattered, but somehow he's still there, and Kadaj wanted to learn how to survive so badly and never managed to live up to either of his big brothers... ;____;

(also, inbox gleeeee! going to read later when the contractors are done banging and sawing, on account of how it's loooong and I want my brain free for rolling in details... ^___^ happy happy dance! *rolls around gleefully in puddle of blame*)

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[info]stopthatgirl7
2008-07-15 10:55 am UTC (link)
And that's part of it I hadn't thought of, from Kadaj's side of things--Cloud's was right there, but yeah, yeesh, Kadaj's is *wibble* Cloud's the only one who really would have understood him, but they never had a chance.

(And it hit 31 pages today before I yelled, "OK, dude, I have to write other fic now! Ones with due dates!" and vowed to set it aside until the three-day weekend I've got coming up...which I expect to last, like, a day given the way this fic has eaten my brain. Oh, and I edited a bit from what you've got; clean up and, more importantly, I had thrown in a mention of a big ol' fight pre-story between two of the characters, and then decided it would be much more fun to have that be a fight that had been brewing and decide to come out now when everything's going to hell. *chomps at bit* I hope you're happy; this monster fic is SO all your fault.)

And contractors, does this mean basement repairs and de-grossifying? :D

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]chibirisuchan
2008-07-15 11:14 am UTC (link)
(nodnodnod) poor messed up kids. Did I mention Cloud is going to run into Kadaj in the 25-streetsigns universe and (after the expected explosions, trauma, and wtf) start sorting out what it actually means for the two of them to be almost-family and stuff? 'cause they both need clues in that area and I can't resist...

(on the other hand, I am completely shamelessly delighted about this. ^________^ I think I need to make myself a ficbunny pimpin' icon...)

Yep, basement fixings going on apace! They're tearing out revolting paneling and demolding and later on they'll be crack-sealing and repainting and maybe they'll put in drywall if I can squeeze that out of the budget or get a loan from my parents... :D It's great for a sense of 'omg getting on the road back to normal,' but not so great for the 'auuugh too much noise to think' here and now. ^^;;; But in a couple weeks, it should be better! Not back to normal yet -- that's going to take refinishing the floor, getting drywall in myself if I can't hire it done, and so forth -- but getting there...

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[info]stopthatgirl7
2008-07-15 11:37 am UTC (link)
*cheers* You dropped hints that they were going to meet up, and that fills me with glee, because yes, they all need it and how. And Yazoo will need someone who recognizes the "But...but...BUT" of it all so he can have a bit of validation for reaction to Kadaj's little announcement. >XDDDD

(I knew you'd have no shame at ALL about this situation. No one ever seems to. *pouts* *goes back to trying to get to 32 pages before turning in*)

And w00t, basement repairs! After all these weeks, it has got to be great to finally have things getting started (although, yeah, the noise, not so great). Hopefully the money will all be there and everything will get done and, more importantly, Mother Nature will quit trying for Noah Flood 2.0. Sheesh.

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