And that sounds normal to me. You've got a mountain of things that's horrifying. Imagine someone going up to you, and saying they remember, clearest, being a child and seeing a murder. Would they feel like an adult, with a husband (even if they don't remember him,) or would they feel cornered and terrified? I think you're strong, for reaching out for help.
I can ask him. There's something called caretaker - stress, I want to say? The idea that even if you're healthy, the sheer act of trying to take care of someone can be rough in ways you don't imagine or notice in the middle of things. So - it's perfectly normal and in fact a good thing to get help. And it'd help you, right, if he was happier?
And no - no - I wouldn't expect you to pick up the phone and tell me about that dance. Just like I wouldn't expect you to pick up the phone and listen to me talk about my - my imprisonment. I meant more - a friend that you could talk about nothing with, versus just having strangers with in-jokes you don't remember kind of thing? Start learning safe ways to re-meet people via some stranger who's willing to have you fumble?
Don't have to decide on that instantly. Turn it over, see how you feel on things. My sister's here too. She's a bit - protective and fierce if she thinks someone doesn't feel safe, but - she's a good person. She's been delighted in buying some cool boots, lately. That kind of harmless talk.