I know it's none of my business to ask about troubles that you don't want to share.
But - I experienced some . . . horror? Trouble? It's hard to put it in words and everyone involved with that is not here, so it seems like I'm shaking my fist at something that's not even existing. It's not great for my sleep, or my nerves in general. And I'm well, but I still ache sometimes, possibly because I've forgotten that I am well or something like that.
There's a few things I've found that've helped. Would it help you, for me to ramble about it at you? Or do you just want someone to listen?