Drunken Antics. Disclaimer: I don’t own Devil May Cry or Resident Evil and I haven’t made any money off of this. So don’t sue me, okay? This is merely a manifestation of my silly, fan-girlish fantasies.
Also, let’s get something straight. I’m lazy and can’t be bothered writing too much backstory to explain how this came to pass… so let’s cut to the chase:
Recently, a mad scientist tried to see what the effects of the T virus were on demons and opened up a whole new can of worms. Because of these events, the government called upon the services of Leon S Kennedy for his experience in dealing with the virus, and they also turned to Dante for his experience in battling demons. The hoped that this alliance would aid in annihilating the threat of this new brand of catastrophe, and it was all good in the end. The scientist was arrested, and since that mission a few other missions came up where the two met up. If you could use a word to describe their chemistry, it’d be “competitive.”
One night, after a rather time consuming mission where the two had once again fought side-by-side, this time Lady had been at the office when the call came down. Curious as ever, she asked if she could come along and Dante, being the easy going type that he was, shrugged. She took that to mean ‘yes’ and had helped. They stood in a rundown area after it was all over, bodies strewn on the ground, blood splattering the rubble.
“That should be the last of them.” Leon stated the obvious, looking around as his breathing started to slow back to its normal pace.
“I’d say so…” Dante agreed, “In any case, keep a look out for anyone who might still be lookin’ to get their ass beat.”
They remained alert for a moment, but when nothing reared its ugly head to attack, Lady sighed. “So, your name’s Leon, right?” to which Leon nodded, “Why don’t you join me and Dante for some drinks? You look like you could use an unwind.”
“Well, I suppose we’re off duty now...at least as much as we can be…” said Leon, looking around scanning the area to make sure.
“Then it’s settled. Drinks back at Dante’s place!” Lady said happily.
“What, my place..?” Dante said, “Why not a bar?”
“You have a pool table and a mini-fridge full of beer. Why not?” Lady countered.
“Touché.” ---
Back the Devil May Cry, the trio walked in the doors. Dante sat down at his desk, propping his feet up in a relaxed pose as he grabbed up a magazine and began leafing through the pages. “Fridge’s over there,” he nodded in its direction, “Make yourself at home. Hey, Lady. Get me a beer?” He looked up at her, depositing his twin handguns on the desk top and snuggling into a more comfortable position.
“Get it yourself, lazy ass.” Lady said, sauntering over to the pool table and racking the balls.
Leon had never been in the office before, so he was looking around at some of the things Dante had displayed. He eyed the various demon skulls on the walls, the drum set, the antique looking jukebox, the collection of Devil Arms that were displayed here and there. Dante peered over the top of the magazine, “Something on your mind?”
Leon blinked and shook his head, “No, I’m just looking. You have quite an… impressive collection of weaponry.”
“These are Devil Arms. They’re way too powerful to leave lying around in just anyone’s hands.” Dante explained, putting the magazine down and lacing his hands behind his head. Leon nodded and noted a shotgun mounted on the wall as well.
“Now there’s a familiar looking gun.” He smirked, “Nothing like a shotgun to get the job done.”
“You ain’t lying.” Dante grinned. “My handguns are handmade, and I can’t tell you how grateful I am for Ebony and Ivory.” he patted them appreciatively.
“They are very nice guns,” Leon agreed. “Well, the guns I have are standard issue, but yeah they've saved my life more than a few times.”
Lady walked up to the men and placed a hand on her hip. “Playing pool by myself is no fun.” she piped up.
“Quiet, Lady. Men are talking.” Dante joked, mischievous glint in his eyes.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I wander into a conversation about penis size?” she replied sarcastically. Dante laughed and Leon smirked. “I knew it! You two were comparing equipment.”
“And if we were?” Dante asked, goading her on.
“Well, if you were, you should have a proper judge.” Lady said haughtily.
“How can you be a judge when you don’t have one..? Or are you implying that you’re a slutty little lady..?” Dante countered with a grin. This earned him a blush from the woman, and then a high pitched laugh.
“You wish, then I’d be easy.”
“Are you two always like this?” Leon whispered to Dante, “You’re like a married couple… of perverts.” Dante laughed at that, and got up and got a beer from the fridge and offered one to Leon as well as Lady.
“You could say that, Leon.” Dante said, “She and I have always had this sort of… give and take relationship.”
“Yeah, I give him money and he takes it. I have to nag his balls off before I ever see any of it again.” she said, swiping the drink from his hands, popping it open to take a long drink. The night unraveled into more of that, playful banter, beers, and pool. It wasn’t long before the fridge was almost empty and the three were fairly inebriated. Lady and Leon were both kicking Dante’s ass in pool, but he hadn’t been completely hopeless… but two out of ten (with Lady leading) wasn’t something to be proud of. Luckily for Dante, they hadn’t been betting on these games or he’d be even more in debt with the woman…
“Say, Dante.” Lady began, “It wouldn’t be us if there wasn’t at least a little gambling involved. Let’s make a little bet.”
“Alright.”
“If I sink the eight ball, you and Leon have to make out.” she said with a grin.
“And if you don’t… you have to cancel all of my debts.” Dante said. Leon, who had been sitting on the couch nursing his last beer, looked up suddenly.
“Wait, what?” he chimed in, “Don’t I get a say in-”
“Aw, c’mon. Are you that insecure about your sexuality? You scared you might like it?” she teased him.
“N-no I just…”
“Hey man, no worries. I got this.” Dante said with a lazy smile. Leon shook his head.
“But Dante, you just lost eight games out of ten…” he thought. “Fine…” he acquiesced. How bad could it be?
“Awesome.” Lady chirped, lining up her shot. She hit the cue ball, sending the other balls scattering all about the table. The four hit the two and then the two hit the eight… it was like the room held its breath is it slowly rolled towards the side pocket. There was a ceramic sound as it plunked in. “Kickass!” she exclaimed, “Alright you two, get your gay on.”
Leon gulped, “Honestly, did you think she’d lose? The woman is some sort of pool prodigy.” he thought. Dante moved to sit on the couch and patted the spot next to him.
“C’mon, let’s get this over with.” he said. After all, compared to the sum that he owed Lady in cash, this would be painless. For the most part. …Right? Leon hesitantly sat next to him and faced the white haired man, with his eyes closed. Dante shrugged and leaned toward the blonde, letting his lips brush softly against his. “Relax…” he whispered, his breath came in hot puffs. Leon took a deep breath and leaned just enough that their lips met.
“Now, don’t be cheap. I said make out.” Lady reminded them, “The means it needs to be more than just a sissy little peck on the lips. Lemme see some tongue..!” She was plastered. Dante rolled his eyes, but pressed his lips closer to the other man’s nonetheless. Lady wanted a make out scene? She’d get one. He traced his tongue over Leon’s bottom lip, nudging his way into the man’s mouth. Leon was torn, a small part in the back of his mind was worried about this getting out of hand… but the rest of his body was still drunk enough that he didn’t resist.
Truth be told, none of this would be happening if he were still sober. He parted his lips and let Dante’s tongue in as the kiss deepened. Lady grinned like a Cheshire cat, watching the scene unfold before her. Leon felt a shiver go down his spine when Dante nibbled lightly on his lip and felt the devil hunter’s hand slide down his back and rest on his hip, the other hand cupping the back of his head so that their lips crushed a little harder. Dante pulled back some to breathe, and (though he wouldn’t admit it later) felt his body responding to the heat between them. The blonde’s lip quivered as he breathed, glistening in the dim light of the office, slightly swollen and pink.
Leon let out what could only be called a whimper when Dante moved to straddle him, hand moving from his hip to run down his side a few times to see what sort of sounds he could elicit. He began to trail kisses down to the blonde’s neck, nibbling here and there, causing the special agent to moan louder than before. “Heh…” Dante murmured, unrelenting in his assault. Leon could feel the white haired man’s arousal against his thigh as he continued to nibble and suck on his collar bone. He let out a low groan as his pants made a tent of their own.
“That’s pretty hot…” Lady said in a whisper, enthralled. She hadn’t thought that they’d go much further than this, though… so she didn’t step in. Eye candy was eye candy, right? She watched as Dante reached down to grope Leon through his skin-tight shirt, hand slipping down into the loose-fitting pants. At this, the blonde gasped, “Whoa…” he managed between breaths, “I thought it was just m-making out…” he still had some control over his logical mind, it seemed. Lady grinned.
“Mm, Dante… you should either blow Leon or make him blow you. That’d be really hot.” she said with a giggle, still long gone, cheeks painted rose. Dante paused his attack on Leon’s neck and looked at her with half-lidded eyes.
“What’s in it for me?”
“Well, if Leon gives you head, then… that should be pretty obvious.” she drawled. Leon twitched slightly. “I think Leon needs another beer, though.” she added, getting one of the last cans from the fridge and popping it open. “He’s getting back to being stiff, and I’m not talking about that tent in his trousers.”
“I just-” Leon tried, but Dante kissed him again.
“If you’re going to use that mouth, it might as well be on my cock.” he said, reaching down to massage Leon’s hard on through his pants. “Don’t think about it…”
“B-but I-” he tried again, “I’ve never-”
“So? Neither have I.” Dante said, “But I’m fucking horny and Lady ain’t gonna let me fuck her, no matter how drunk she is- trust me. Last time she got this smashed, she-”
“Dante, less talking, more sexiness.” Lady commanded, having forgotten that the beer in her hand was for Leon, she chugged about half the can.
“Yes ma’am.” he said, and whispered to the blonde, “Sorry, man. If we don’t do it… I shudder to think what might happen.” With that, he moved his hand from Leon’s crotch and started to undo his own pants. “Whatever you like when a girl blows you, do it to me.” he murmured, pulling his dick out. Leon gulped, and chanced a glance downwards. The devil hunter was certainly endowed… he tunneled his hand around the thick erection and pumped it a few times as he got on his knees in front of Dante and breathed on the tip, placing a soft kiss on the head. Then he ran his tongue up the length, and took the very tip into his mouth, sucking on it. “Let’s see… Claire does this…” he thought as he put as much of the organ into his mouth and stroked whatever he couldn’t fit with his hand. This caused Dante to let out a low growl. For a first timer, this guy wasn’t half bad.
“Mm, yeah… that’s it…” he mumbled, his hand threading through dirty blonde strands. “Suck on it some… yeah… nnngh…” Leon had started to move his mouth over the silky skin of Dante’s cock, bobbing back and forth. He felt his face flush, and his own erection was straining now against his pants.
“Keep it up, boys.” Lady said, staring at the show, barely resisting the urge to pleasure herself. “I’ll have plenty of mental images after this.”
“Voyeur.” Dante teased as Leon continued to lick and suck on his cock. He pulled Leon up from his task and kissed him again, hard and passionately, tasting his pre-cum on the man’s lips, and he growled against them, “Your mouth is making me want to fuck you.” He had no real response to that other than his face flushing a little brighter. “In any case, you’re doing all the work, and I’m sure Lady won’t mind this…” he trailed off, getting into Leon’s pants rather easily, and pulling the blonde’s dick out and stroking it lightly and quickly. He dropped down and took it into his own mouth, taking Leon completely by surprise, this much was clear from the loud groan that escaped the man’s lips. Lady also liked was she saw, her lips in an ‘o’ as she fidgeted in her seat. Dante seemed to have experience in this, but Leon was too enraptured to really think too hard about it.
“Ah… ahnngh..” he sighed, unable to really form words. It was almost as good as Claire’s handiwork. Almost. He shivered when he felt Dante graze him lightly with his teeth. That was new… but not necessarily bad. “I’ll have to… suggest this…” The devil hunter continued to move his lips over Leon’s flesh, stroking himself with a free hand. Dante gave him another lick and a kiss at the tip, then leaned up to kiss him again. Leon was starting to get more and more lustful and less caring that the person seducing him was, in fact, Dante. He obliged when Dante pulled him up from the couch and kissed him a few more times on the neck and reached down to pull that pesky shirt off and pants down. Lady about fell over when the blonde was totally exposed to her.
“So the carpet don’t match the drapes…” she giggled drunkenly. Leon made a small noise of embarrassment that was quickly turned into a groan when Dante pumped his erection a few times.
“Leon… bend over the side of the pool table, would you?” the white haired man said, “Lady, could you get me something… lotion, WD-40, I don’t fucking care…” He was stripping off his clothes as fast as possible. Lady, really wanting this to continue, rummaged through the drawers of Dante’s desk to return with a tube of lotion that looked it it’d been stolen from a hotel. “That’ll do.” he said, snatching it from her hands. He opened it and squeezed some out on his fingers.
“Now, relax.” Dante murmured, running a fingertip lightly around the entrance. Lady could feel her body craving some sort of attention, anything. She shed her shorts, catching Dante’s attention. “Leon, do you like to eat pussy?” he asked, gruffly. The blonde gave him a curt nod, biting his lip as Dante pressed a finger into his tight opening. “Did you hear that, Lady?” Dante hinted, as he got Leon’s hole ready for his dick. Lady smirked and crawled on top of the pool table, stripping her shirt off seductively. He moaned when she sighed, and pressed a nipple to his parted lips.
“Go on…” she said. He obliged, nipping and licking her as Dante added a second and third finger, scissoring them so that this didn’t have to hurt as much. The devil hunter leaned forward and licked Leon’s ear, then whispered into it.
“Here I come.” He covered his cock with lotion and lined it up, pushing it in slowly. Leon let out a soft yelp, clearly not accustomed to this feeling. Lady kissed him to help distract him until Dante was completely sheathed.
“If you want to…” she said in a low voice as she spread her legs before him. Her scent was arousing, to say the least. He leaned forward, reaching his hands around her waist to pull her close just as Dante started to pull back out. The white haired half demon snapped his hips back towards the agent, burying himself in him again, causing Leon to gasp. Dante’s hands were on either hip, as he slowly started to establish a rhythm. Lady let out a loud moan as the blonde let his tongue lick her folds, lingering at her clit.
“Ahhn, Leon…” she sighed, leaning heavily on her arms. Dante’s thrusts weren’t unwanted on her part, either, but she wanted something more after this show. “Fuck me, Leon…” she whispered. Dante grinned, and paused so that Lady could better position herself just right. Leon kissed her, and positioned himself at her entrance. Just then, Dante thrust in and effectively was helping Leon ram his cock into the woman beneath him. They were hot, sweaty, needy, wanting… sounds escaping everyone’s throats as they moved against each other. Leon was gripping Lady’s waist as he fucked her, Dante gripped his hips as he fucked him. He never knew that tonight would have ended up like this…
The thrusts became faster, more erratic as Dante approached his orgasm. He angled his hips slightly to hit that sweet spot inside Leon, and knew just when he found it as he blonde let out a very loud moan.
“Oh my FUCK..! D-do that again..!” he pleaded.
“Sure… thing…” Dante huffed, out of breath because he was so close. Sweat covered the trio as they inched closer and closer to completion. Leon was the first to reach it, Dante continuing to thrust into his shuddering body, and then Lady, and finally Dante. They all but collapsed on the pool table that had miraculously survived this abuse. Dante would later joke that it was because it was an antique and these days they just didn’t ‘make ‘em like they used to.’ Lady about passed out on top of the table, and Dante moved Leon and himself back to the couch after he pulled out.
“That was intense.” was all he could say. ---
a/n THIS IS A PWP I WROTE SIMPLY TO RECTIFY THE BLATANT LACK OF DANTE/LEON PORN. Threw Lady in there for kicks. ;D I hope everyone enjoyed it!