Sirius paused, frowning as he sat back on his heels. Remus had said- He shook his head, growing tired with this uncertainty that he couldn't control. What was it that jarred him so much? That Remus loved him? Remus? Hadn't this happened the other day? When Dorcas? She'd said the same thing. How? his mind asked, seemingly baffled by this. How and why?
But those weren't the only questions going through his mind; he was doubting himself again, doubting he wanted to do this. Why torture? Beyond the immediate gratification of it, beyond the present fun. Do you really want to do this? his mind asked, and he found he wasn't sure of the answer. Did he? Not... not particularly, really.
"I don't know," he said slowly, setting his wand down beside him, looking vaguely like he was in a fog of sorts.