Al Gumboil is a bad big brother. (countervail) wrote in an_ill_wind, @ 2009-06-29 14:37:00 |
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Dorcas was, quite frankly, a mess. She hadn't managed any sleep the night before thanks to the newfound experience that was the full moon wreaking havoc on her wounds, and while she had kept trying to remind herself that it was better than being a werewolf there had been more than a few moments over the night where she really wasn't so sure about that. The thought that she was going to have to endure that, an entire night of pain that felt nearly as agonising as the cruciatus, every month was overwhelming on it's own. And then, after managing a couple of hours of sleep after sunrise, she had checked her journal. She really wished she hadn't done that. Despite Fabian's warnings, she couldn't not try to talk to Sirius. She just couldn't believe that the words he was writing were his own, even if they were very clearly coming from his journal and in his handwriting. She cared for him so much, more than she was even willing to admit and while there was some part of her that was all but waiting to get hurt, she hadn't expected it to be like that. She had pleaded with him, desperately hoping that something in her words might make him see reason and break him out of whatever the fuck had crawled into his head to make him spew purist bullshite and all she'd earned for herself were insults. That she made him sick. Eventually she just couldn't take it any more and her journal had been flung across the room before she collapsed back onto the bed, curling onto her side and sobbing. This wasn't happening. This wasn't fucking happening. Al only had an hour, and while he had no set routine for what he ever did with his lunch breaks, running off to comfortable his adopted little sister was new. He scarfed down a sandwich before he got there, more or less inhaling the thing. It wasn't that he was starving or anything, but he thought it was sort of cruel to be eating in front of Dorcas right now. He apparated to the given coordinates, loitering around until a rather tall man let him in. Al thanked him and then took instruction to the room Dorcas was staying in. "Hey," he greeted softly, taking a few steps into the room. Merlin, she was a mess. Even though she'd asked him to come and knew he was on his way, there was still something embarrassing about having him see her like this, in such a state. Not that it was enough to snap her out of it. She didn't move from her curled up position on the bed, except to drag her hand across her cheeks as she offered a weak, "Hey," in return. "Thanks. For coming," she added after another moment or two, staring off at the wall. Something about actually looking at him seemed to be too much. As if it would break what small piece of her might have still been whole. Al nodded and sat down carefully on the edge of the bed. He used the sleeve of his dress shirt to wipe gently at her tears, absolutely loathe to see someone he cared about in pain. It pissed him off, that someone had done this to her and there wasn't anything to be done about it. He was bad at feeling helpless. "You look like shit," he said softly, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips. That brought a slight snort of wry and bitter amusement from Dorcas as Al stated the obvious and she shook her head against the pillow. "Sorry," she said, not even sure what the hell she was apologising for, just that it seemed like the thing to say. "It's just... I can't deal with this," she said as she curled her arms more tightly against her chest. A sigh then, before she spoke again. "You saw... Sirius's... whatever the fuck that was?" Al nodded, not entirely sure what the say. He'd seen it. He hadn't said a word, because honestly, what did he care about purist society? If it hadn't meant Dorcas had gotten hurt in the process, he wouldn't have given half a shit. But the hitwizard in him said something was very obviously wrong and that he no one made such a turn around. People didn't change that fast. "You talked to him?" he asked, figuring she had and that he probably hadn't been a saint in his responses. He couldn't think of another reason for her to be crying like this. "Yeah," she replied, nodding weakly. "He said we did something to him. And that...he didn't know how he was able to stomach being friends with all of us for so long. Or being with me. That the thought of it made him sick." Which wasn't quite the worst of it, but she couldn't bring herself to recite Sirius's comments in their entirety, no matter how etched in her brain they were. She just hated this. She wanted to go to sleep and wake up and find out that this had all been some horrible nightmare. Al nodded and, after a moment of thought, pulled Dorcas into his arms for a hug. "Well you didn't right?" he asked, not really asking so much as making a point. "So someone else is fucking with him. It's not anyone's fault, you just have to figure out how to fix it, right?" Which of course brought him a bit closer to part of why he was here. He'd tried to warn them ahead of time, but he'd obviously been late. Engaging in this sort of activity probably made him a terrorist or something, but when the body of government was being run by a death eater, well, things changed. But he said nothing about it now. Not yet. He needed her to be calmer first. Dorcas hesitated for a moment as Al lifted her up and into his arms and then she wrapped her arms around him, just clinging to him as tightly as she could possibly manage as she buried her face in his shoulder. And then the floodgates opened, not of tears but of words. "I know it's something making him like this but I don't know what to do and I can't do anything because I'm still stuck in this fucking bed and I just want to go find him and drag him back here and make everything okay again and I wanted him here last night because it was the moon and I don't know if I can do that again but he was off learning how to be a purist or god I don't even fucking know, I just hate this. I hate everything and I want it all to stop." It was all one big incomprehensible run on sentence, punctuated only by her sniffs as she unloaded on him. God, she really was going to be embarrassed when she calmed down. If she ever managed. Al held her gently, conjuring a handkerchief for her. He sighed when she was done, tempted to squeeze her, but realising that that probably wasn't a very good idea, considering. Instead, he just absently rubbed her back for a moment before pulling away enough to look at her. "It isn't fair, I know," he started. Merlin, how could he not do something. "And I'm going to help you however I can, all right? Fucked if I'm going to work for some backwards, Death Eater run Ministry. You lot, about Potter. He's a bit stuck and you're probably planning some half-arsed escape plan aren't you?" It wasn't so much a question as a confirmation and Al looked momentarily unsure, a bit fidgetty. His hand tangled idly in his hair and he shifted slightly before going on. "I can get you in." Dorcas was chewing at her lip, only half listening and staring off at the blanket as Al spoke. She could feel him staring at her but she still did not want to actually look at him, especially when he started talking about half-arsed escape plans because well, that was exactly what they were doing, even if as far as she knew, they hadn't managed much of the planning part. Just a whole lot of the half-arsed part. But at his last statement, that he could get them into the Ministry, get them to James... Well that got her attention and she looked up at Al with surprise, suddenly not caring about how wretched she looked, how red and puffy her eyes must have been. "Really?" she asked, not sure if she wanted to dare to hope. She knew the risk Al was taking and if she hadn't been in such a state, she might have felt some guilt at putting him in such a position but at the moment all she could think was that maybe something could actually go right for them. Al paused and then nodded. "Yeah," he said finally. "I can get you in. It has to be soon, though." Now that he'd gotten her attention, he wanted to keep it. "They can't just keep him around for very long and it's nearly been a week. I think Wednesday should give you enough time to throw something together. I should be able to get most of the work done for you. But you're going to need to send a couple of people who know what they're doing too, just in case." Al held her gaze only offering her the handkerchief after a moment. Taking the handkerchief, Dorcas clutched it tightly in her hand and nodded slowly in return, not bothering to wipe her face or blow her nose. She needed to think. She needed to figure out how to focus enough to actually think and that was more than a bit of a challenge since every time she tried her thoughts just went back to Sirius and... no, not helping. James. She couldn't do anything for Sirius right now but James... If they didn't get him out of the Ministry, god only knew what the Death Eaters would do to him. "Ed will do it," she said without a second thought. It likely would have made more sense to send someone who worked in DMLE, who knew the place but then if they were willing to do this wouldn't they have already gotten James out? Besides, she trusted Ed not just to get the job done but not to get Al into any trouble in the process. "And... Fabian, I guess," she added, although she made a slight face at that. Al nodded, mentally filing away the names before he'd even meant to. Fabian Prewett. Edgar Bones. People he knew. Mostly good people. It hardened his resolve and he was more sure of himself and this decision than he'd been even a moment ago. Merlin, they were young. For a moment his thoughts strayed to the likelihood of this working and none of them getting caught. It was far from a flawless plan. But he didn't like the idea of someone just sitting there, in the holding cells. For no reason, really. For Hogsmeade. For getting his arm blown off by a bunch of purist fucks who couldn't see past their own fucking veins. After a long moment, he turned his attention more onto Dorcas and absently rubbed her arm in what he hoped was a comforting manner. "One step at a time, all right? We get this done and then we can think about Sirius. I don't know how to help on that one and I'm sorry, but if you can think of a way for me to get some information or something, let me know, okay? If I'm doing this, I might as well actually do it properly." "Okay," she replied softly, giving another slight nod. "Wednesday night. I'll tell them. And..." she began before trailing off, not even sure what to say about Sirius or how they were going to get him back and undo whatever the fuck was making him act like this and... it was too much. She slid her arms around Al and just clung to him, burying her face in his shoulder again, although at least she wasn't sobbing again. Just clinging. "I'm sorry. For dragging you into all of this. And for being such a fucking mess. I didn't really sleep last night and I don't know if that's making this worse or if I'd still be... like this and... sorry. More than you signed up for, yeah?" Al slid his arms easily around her again, content enough to hold her if that's what she needed. This was the sort of thing he was decent at, after all. Or at least he liked to think so. "Oh, quit apologising," he insisted softly. "I'd rather be helping you lot out than be unaware that the Ministry is being run by a murdering, prejudiced cunt, right? S'just life." Al squeezed her gently and then pulled away just enough so he could look at her. "Get some rest all right? Quit looking at your journal for now and get some proper sleep. We'll figure something out, yeah?" "Yeah," she agreed rather half-heartedly as she nodded and then moved to rest her head on Al's shoulder again. Sleep was definitely a good idea at this point but that meant giving up the comfort of Al hugging her and she just wasn't quite ready to do that, instead closing her eyes and just deciding to rest against him for a minute or two. "Thanks," she murmured softly. "For everything." Really she didn't know where to start with the list of things she had to thank him for at the moment. For coming to see her, for believing her, for helping with James... She was definitely going to owe him one when she was actually in a state to be properly appreciative. But for now the notion of sleep had apparently settled a little more firmly into her brain and she began to slowly drift off without any care for her position. "You're welcome, Dorcas," Al replied quietly, adjusted his arms around her so he could at least keep an eye on his watch. He'd have to leave soon, but he had a few minutes to spare, so he said nothing while she rested against him. It was, after all, completely natural to want to be comforted after nearly dying and losing a good friend and Al was available and gave a shit. So he let her drift off on him and stayed there until he really couldn't any longer. Carefully, he untangled her from him and carefully laid her back down on the bed. He had work to do now, he supposed. Quite a lot of it. What a week this was going to be. |