Al Gumboil is a bad big brother. (countervail) wrote in an_ill_wind, @ 2009-06-03 05:17:00 |
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Instead of getting ready or prettying herself up as some girls may have done, Rita wrote to Doris furiously in her journal until she went out to meet Al. So it was in her work clothes--some high waisted pants, a slightly sheer patterned shirt, and some green snakeskin pumps. There was a bit of ink smeared on her fingers (certainly nothing new, considering how much writing she did) and a dab of it on her lip from chewing on her quill (something she did when she was nervous), but it Rita wasn't too fussed at the moment. Al had seen her in worse, certainly. She grabbed her beige trenchcoat, her favourite cliche reporter article of clothing, then headed out the door of her flat, stomped down the stairs, blew a halphazard kiss at her strange but friendly landlord, and breezed out the door and into the street, heading around to an alley a half a block up. She stepped inside, out of the street and into the shadows, waiting there for Al. What would they talk about once he arrived? Rita was both nervous and excited to see him, but she was still thinking about the things Doris had said, still trying to decide if she really wanted to take a risk on Al, still wondering if she was even ready to. Leaning back against the rough brick of the alley wall, Rita turned towards the sound of apparation, biting her lip as she instinctively smiled at Al. "Hi," she said simply, sticking her hands in her jacket pockets. Al was feeling a bit of nerves in his stomach as he closed his journal. He hadn't really known quite where that conversation was going to go and he was even less sure now, about everything. But it seemed like this needed to be pounded out one way or the other. She was right, he had rather forced his way back into her life. Or rather... she'd stumbled and he'd caught her. He didn't know. But they needed to talk about this a little more personally. No matter where it went. And if it wasn't going to work, then at least there would be some closure. So he pulled his trainers on, scribbled a note for Dorcas in the kitchen and then apparated to the specified coordinates. He wasn't in anything special either. Just what he'd changed out of after work - he still, after all these years, did not much like the suits and ties he had to wear at the Ministry. It felt like he was about two skips from being a teacher. Merlin. So, jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. Reddish. He instinctively glanced around the alley, unable to quite turn off the hitwizard in him, but after a beat, his eyes fell on Rita. Al gave a small smile. "Hi," he repeated her greeting and stood next to her to start onto the sidewalk. "All right tonight?" Merlin, he hated small talk and immediately he was kicking himself. He habitually mussed his hair before shoving both hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Oh, are we doing small talk then?" Rita quipped, falling into step next to him and hiding a grin as he ruffled his hair. It was an obsessive habit of his, almost a tic he did it so often. It was endearing, though, certainly. It made him seem so much younger than he was. Her heels clicked on the cement as they headed up the street towards the river, the shoes boosting her up from her 5'5" to about 5'7", and she still had to look up at him. She did then, watching his profile for a moment. He was an attractive man, but she could still see the somewhat awkward boy within him, and there was a warmth that created in her. She was lonely, she could admit that, but that didn't necessarily mean she was ready to try and open herself up to someone else. She didn't even know if he wanted that with her. Maybe Doris had a point. Maybe he wanted someone else. He didn't know her well anymore, and perhaps if he wanted her at all, he wanted a different version of her, one that didn't exist anymore. "I'm not going to be suddenly different for you," Rita said bluntly, straight out, not bothering with the small talk he'd been trying for. Why wait, she figured. Why put it off? He was almost glad that she'd decided to skip the small talk. It had simply slipped out of his mouth in the first place and he hadn't wanted to bother with it. It was stupid and awkward the dance around the subject and he was thankful that she recognised the inevitableness of it as well. Al wasn't that tall of a man, but part of his ego was rather glad that she wasn't taller than him, even in heels, if only by about an inch. It was all entirely subconscious, but he'd always said he was just too short to be sexy or even more than cute. Like a bunny. Merlin. "...I know," he answered finally, glancing sideways at her. "And I don't really expect you to be. I mean, if we were going to actually try, then I don't want to rush." He frowned slightly, turning his eyes to the pavement as he passed it. He hadn't been lying though, about the other times. He'd been cheated on before and it hurt and the betrayal had always eventually torn him up, even if they'd tried to move on afterwards. He couldn't be on the other side of that sort of thing again and he felt like he ought to let her know that up front. He just wasn't quite sure how to word it. Hand in his hair again, tugging slightly for a moment before dropping it again. "That being said," he started slowly. "I mean at some point we have to agree that we're... or I mean if we did.. decide. It'd have to be... you know, exclusive at some point. Maybe not right away but... I'd get jealous and..." He shook his head, almost nervously rubbing his neck. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. It was stupid. He should just shut up right now, because it wasn't fair to ask her to do any of these things and he knew it. "Oh God," Rita said, laughing, putting a hand on his arm to stop him talking. He was clearly nervous and she found it adorable. She curled her fingers into his clothes and tugged slightly, shaking her head up at him. "That's not what I meant, Al. Do you think I'm a sex addict or something? I don't... I don't care about any of the guys I go home with." She let go of him then, unsure yet how close she should be getting. How did she explain what she really meant? It was pretty personal, really, and she'd never really talked about how she'd made rules for herself after her father died, which helped to explain a bit about why she'd broken it off with Al. It was complicated and made her feel exposed, and there was so much about what he'd just said that she'd rather comment on that was easier. Smile turning sly, she added, "You can still be jealous though, if you want. I wouldn't mind that." Jealousy, she thought, was a nice thing, really. No one had been jealous on her behalf ever. Perhaps she'd incited a bar fight or two, but that was more friendly competition than anything, and had little to do with her and more to do with sex. Al was slightly taken off guard by her laughing and he couldn't help but let out a rather embarrassed chuckle as well. He was sure he was bloody well glowing and he at least hoped he wasn't matching his shirt. "I.. no, I just. I dunno, really. And I guess that's the point isn't it." He sighed, though clearly not minding her touch this time. It felt far more natural tonight. He'd freaked out on the sailboat because they'd been alone and it'd been a bit weird and he'd been afraid things would just progress. But it was okay here. He didn't mind. Still, he couldn't help but let out a half-groan of mingled embarassment and nerves as he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, effectively covering half his face for a moment. But when he dropped his hands again he smiled and teased back a bit. "Why, should I be? D'you have any other hot dates lined up this week or something?" He was blushing and covering his face and Rita felt almost giddy with it. He was a rare breed, a man with modesty and humility and some strange degree of shyness. It was adorable to Rita and she found herself repressing the strange desire to hold his hand, or some such silliness. Then, after a moment, she decided to stop fighting it, and just reached out to take his hand, not quite looking at him as she did. Her little, writing calloused fingers curled around his bigger, stronger hand, twining them together. It was her turn to blush slightly, cheeks turning pink and she looked ahead, watching where she was walking instead of looking up at his face as she had been. "No, nothing really. There's sort of..." she started, thinking of Fabian, but then again, their set up was entirely no strings, so wasn't the whole point of it that she didn't have to offer him any reasoning? Rita didn't even know if she'd bother owling him to let him know. Maybe she'd just wait until he suggested a meeting before she let him know their arrangement was kaput. "Never mind. There's nothing you need to worry about. I've done well at keeping myself free of attachments. That's the point." Al felt her hand on his and couldn't quite help but sort of bite his lower lip, inwardly pleased. And still vaguely nervous. But he shifted his fingers only to be more comfortable and then idly rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. Again, it was comfortable and natural and didn't feel remotely out of place. So he simply glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, letting them walk in silence for a moment before speaking up again, slightly more serious, but at the same time not wanting to ruin the mood or anything. He liked this. "So, I mean... Like I said, I don't want to rush or anything but... I'd... I'd like to try is all and if it doesn't work that's okay too -- I mean maybe not okay but it'd be better than not knowing at all and... and I dunno. I think I want to.. to try." Such was the mess of words that came spilling out of his mouth, so fast it was barely English, broken as it was. "You remember Doris, right?" Rita said suddenly, not quite answering him yet, but working her way towards it. "Doris Crockford. She was my best friend in school and she still is. So I... consulted her before I left. She wanted to make sure I didn't rush into anything. But it also made me think about how it wouldn't be fair to you if I did." As Rita spoke, she tried to keep her voice lofty and casual, hoping not to betray how strange it was for her to say such things out loud. Her father had always taught her to be honest, to be blunt and truthful and unafraid, but she'd guarded herself more strictly since his death. She was honest about a lot of things, but not so much about her emotions. "I don't even know if I can... if I'll be any good at it, if we do try. You need to know that my main interest is myself," she said, almost daring him to comment on her unabashed self-preservation. "I wouldn't want to hurt you again, but if it came down to it, I have to--" what, protect herself? "I have to look out for me. I'm in it alone, after all. If you're okay with that, I think I'd like to try too." Al was quiet for a moment, still hanging onto her hand but unsure of how to respond right away. He was aware that it was a chiefly selfish person he was dealing with here. That this was who she'd become. But he couldn't help but think there was more to her. People were not one-dimensional, he knew. He saw it every day. There was always more to people than what they let on and even if she was telling now that she was looking out for herself first, then, well, that was a part of her he could learn to accept. Or at least tolerate. And perhaps change her mind about some day down the road. If it got that far. They had cared for each other once. She just didn't have any faith in herself any more. Finally, he nodded. "Okay," he agreed. "Let's try then. Slowly," he absently bit his lip and couldn't quite help but smile at her and gently squeeze her hand. When he agreed, even with her warning, she smiled and returned the squeeze of her hand, moving to place herself in front of him and walking backwards, trusting him to keep her from running into anything. She couldn't believe herself. A decade of keeping herself separate from anyone else and all it had taken was Al walking back into her life and she was changing everything? She was giving him part of herself, she was committing, even if only to try slowly, and it didn't bear thinking about. There were implications she didn't want to consider in her willingness to give Al a chance. She smirked at him then, the expression on her face teasing as she said, "So, my little alabastor man, you're going to have to work on not freaking out at kisses. I quite like them, you know." Al did indeed, keep an eye out for anything that she might run into and he intentionally slowed his stride to a mere meander as he reached for her other hand. "Is that right?" he asked, quirking a brow. He smirked, stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk and pulled her to him. He was inwardly a little giddy right now, after the both of them having agreed to trying this out again and that had a lot to do with his reasoning capabilities in that moment. But there was no hesitation this time when Al leaned in to catch her lips, kissing gently and not letting it linger for too long, but enjoying the space of a few seconds nonetheless. "You know, I think I'm all right with them now," he said a little cheekily, just pulling away a couple of inches. Rita let him take her other hand, leaning back a little and tugging their grip tight for a moment, laughing casually as he pulled her in and kissed her. She squeezed his hands, tilting her face up to his. The kiss broke just when it should, and as he teased her right back, she couldn't help but lean into him for a moment, resting her head on his shoulder, face tilted in to his neck. There was a hint of lingering cologne as she inhaled, and a suggestion of soap and a day's work. She breathed her fill and then stepped back again. She lifted her arm over her head and turned, ending up with her back pressed against his chest, both hands still grasping his, her arms crossed in front of her, holding herself snug to him for a moment. She began walking again, letting go of one of his hands so as not to trip them both and returning to walk at his side. Content with silence for a moment as she reveled in the kiss. It had been simple, yes, and brief, but it was a good beginning. "I think we should skip tea. Let's just wander for a bit?" she said a moment later. It was automatic for Al to let her stay right where she was, gently squeezing her hands, but otherwise content to be still for the moment. When she did finally move, Al moved with her, adjusted his grip on her hands slightly so nothing was twisting the wrong way. He pressed a single quick kiss to her temple before she moved back to his side and he fell into easy step with her again. "Yeah, all right then," he agreed easily. It was Tuesday and he couldn't be out too late. But Al didn't mind just walking around with her tonight, even if it meant he was minus an hour of sleep in the morning. He'd gone to work on less. |