Dorcas is torn to pieces (certaindoom) wrote in an_ill_wind, @ 2009-06-02 19:15:00 |
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Entry tags: | - 1980/06 june, dorcas meadowes, sturgis podmore |
Who: Sturgis and Dorcas
When: June 2, 1980
Where: Stu's flat
What: Muggle lessons
Rating: Low
Status: Completed log
Stu needed the ‘how-to-successfully-pass-for-a-muggle’ lessons Dorcas had promised him, but he didn’t want to pressure her about it. She’d gone through enough shite lately and he understood that she needed time off, alone, away from all this. Merlin knew he would if he’d been in her position. So he’d waited for her, knowing that she’d give him a sign when she was ready – and hoping that it’d be in time for his first string of house visits with Alice.
When she’d written to schedule their lesson, he’d jump without hesitation. He needed the lesson, of course, but he also wanted to see her and make sure that she was getting better. At the set time, he Apparated to the coordinates she’d given him. As he arrived, he recognised Ottery St. Catchpole, the town where Molly and Arthur lived, along with many other wizarding families. He didn’t recognise the building she’d sent him to though, and he wondered who she was staying with as he climbed the stairs. Reaching the door she’d indicated, he knocked.
To say that Dorcas was not doing particularly well was an understatement. She had tried her best to hold things together after the attack at her flat. She'd dealt with body parts coming in the post. Granted "dealt with" in her terms meant drinking far too much and spending all of her time hiding in James's father's house with Sirius, but at least to the outside world (or through the journals anyway) she liked to think she'd been doing a pretty decent job of putting on a brave face. Or something like that. But last week's shite with the Order had just pushed her over the edge. Her friends were the only way she was getting through any of this at all and now they were fighting with each other, fighting with her, she was lying to them... It was all too much to bear and so she had retreated to Al's flat to get away from all of it. Even several days later she still didn't want much of anything to do with the Order right now, but she had promised Stu his lessons and at least some part of her mind knew that she needed to do something other than drink, sleep and stare at the walls.
She assumed she'd still get home before Al, but just in case he dropped by to check on her or came home early, she left him a note saying she was over at Sturgis Podmore's. Which she realised might lead Al to wonder just how she knew Stu, but at the moment it seemed more important to leave some indication of her whereabouts than simply 'out.' How things had changed, just in a matter of months.
Even though she was expecting him, the knock still made her jump a bit and her wand was firmly clenched in her hand as she went to went to open the door. Confirming that it was actually Stu on the other side, she relaxed at least somewhat. "Hey," she greeted, giving him a weak smile as she ran her hand through her hair and stepped out into the hall, pulling the door shut behind her.
She looked like hell. Stu had expected it, but it still shocked him, his heart going out for her. “Hey,” he echoed, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. “Thanks for this,” he added, lifting his hand in a vague gesture encompassing them both. He knew it couldn’t be easy for her and he didn’t want to make it harder by making a big deal of it.
As they made their way down the stairs and out of the building, to the back alley where he’d arrived, he realised that he’d need to give her directions to his flat. They’d agreed to hold their lesson at his place (and he’d given it a thorough clean-up earlier to make sure he wouldn’t be too ashamed to let her in) but she’d never been there before. Looking at her through the corner of his eyes, he hesitated for an instant before asking, “Do you prefer if I we do side-along or if I give you the coordinates to my flat?”
"No problem," she replied with a slight shrug as she followed him out of the building, keeping a bit closer than she usually would. She had caught the way he had looked at her in concern and she sighed, giving a rough shake of her head that only aggravated the lingering hangover in the back of her skull. Not that she blamed him as she knew full well what she looked like right now. She needed to snap the hell out of it, at least to some degree if they were going to make any progress with the lessons.
"Side-along's fine with me." Really it seemed easier than summoning the energy to apparate herself at this point. "How've you been anyway?" she asked as she held out her arm for him to take. It seemed like such a ridiculous question but dammit she was trying. And maybe if they could just talk about something other than her and her issues, she'd be able to keep her mind off things for a while.
"Side-along it is, then," he said, taking her arm and Apparating both of them with a loud 'pop' directly to his living room. He lived in a wizarding building with nosy neighbours and it was with them in mind that he'd adjusted his ward to let Dorcas in, before heading out to pick her up. "Welcome to my humble abode," he joked, letting go of her arm and taking a step back to give her space, guessing that she still needed it after those few days of self-imposed exile.
"And I'm as right as rain, to answer your question. Do you want anything to drink or eat before we get started?" he offered. His cupboards were usually quite empty, but he'd stocked on snacks and drinks when they'd decided to hold the training at his flat. He rarely invited people to his place anymore, but he used to do it a lot when he was younger and money wasn't as tight. His pride dictated that he hold up appearances and be a good host.
"It's nice," she replied, admittedly without looking around much at all. Really even if she was the type to judge (which she wasn't) she didn't exactly have much to compare it to at this point anyway. At least Stu had a flat. "Sure, something to snack on would be good. And ah..." Somehow she didn't think Stu would appreciate drinking through their training session. "Something with caffeine? And sugar? I don't suppose you have any Coca-Cola?"
Actually, that gave her an idea. Dorcas followed Stu into the kitchen and finally glanced around. "So I guess the kitchen'd be a good place to start? If you're going to be looking at houses, you need to know about Muggle kitchens. They use electricity for all their appliances. Stove, oven, refrigerator, and all of their cooking's done by hand. I can't teach you to cook, but you shouldn't need that anyway. You just need to be able to look at the kitchen. Open the doors for everything, turn everything on and off - definitely make sure you get the off part with the stove otherwise you might burn the place down and I don't think the estate agent would like that very much." She was still far more subdued than usual, but at least she'd remembered how to string together a sentence of more than two word. Progress.
"They still have cupboards and a pantry like us, though, right?" Stu asked as he filled a bowl with peanuts. He'd known that he needed to learn more about muggles before he could pass for one, but it suddenly seemed far more than he'd thought. Maybe he should merely nod to what the real estate agent said without speaking much himself, during those visits. Open every door, and nod. And hope that he didn't look like a fool.
He doubted that'd be enough. He'd already known, but now it was clear as sky: he truly needed Dorcas' lessons. He owed her big time, especially considering what she was going through lately. She could have easily told him to find someone else, but she hadn't. When he'd asked her if she'd still give him lessons, in the aftermath of all the Order in-fighting, he'd been hoping for her help, of course, but also trying to keep her involved. Alice had just been delegated to house-hunting with him in her place and he'd felt bad to see her pushed aside like that. He'd asked, hoping it would help them both. He still hoped it would.
"No Coca-Cola," he said, replying to her question, "but I've got tea and coffee. Would that work for you?"
"Coffee, actually," Dorcas replied. She rarely drank the stuff, but it seemed like a good idea at the moment. Something about tea being too soothing or... well hell if she knew. Her lip slipped in between her teeth as she nervously chewed on it and glanced around the kitchen. She really wasn't much of a teacher to begin with and there probably were a few in the Order who would be better at helping Stu than her, but she'd promised. And she at least had the knowledge from living in a Muggle flat for so long. It was just the part where she had to explain it all to Stu that left her a bit bewildered.
"Yeah, they've got cupboards and a pantry. Their kitchens don't really look that different from ours. They've just got appliances in addition to all the stuff we have. Ummm... shiny metal and plastic things? You don't need to worry about that, just don't act surprised about it. And if the estate agent asks if you like to cook, just tell her you eat out a lot and you should be fine. Plenty of Muggles don't know how to use half the things in their kitchen too."
"Or let Alice answer questions about cooking," he said, showing his macho sensibility. He set coffee to brew with a swish and flick of his wand then took two cups out of a cupboard. "So that's the kitchen. I guess that's probably the most complex room of the house, right?" He hoped so. Talk of shiny metal and plastic things spooked him. He watched the coffee prepare itself and wondered how muggles managed to do everything by hand. "Do they have machines for everything?" he asked. "Like for cleaning? If they don't have spells, do they have machines instead?" He hoped so, for their sake. Doing everything by hand would be way too much work!
"You might want to check with Alice about that first," Dorcas said, frowning a bit. It wasn't the sexism that bothered her - she spent enough time around people like Fabian that she was pretty much immune to most comments like that. But Alice was a pureblood and she could only assume wouldn't have the faintest idea of how to react to a Muggle kitchen. Which was why she wasn't particularly well suited for this project, she thought, still rather bitter about the fact that it had been taken away from her. Even if she wasn't really up to it right now anyway. That wasn't the point, was it? It was as if no one had even noticed the work she had put into the project or paid the slightest bit of attention to her talking about it. Except Stu, of course. Right, and he was talking at her and she wasn't paying attention.
"Hmm?" she asked as she pulled herself out of her thoughts. "The kitchen's probably the worst of it, yeah. The rest of the house shouldn't be that different from ours, except for a few gadgets and things here and there. There'll probably be a telly - a little metal box in the living room. They have machines for some cleaning - some places will have a dishwasher, but not everywhere. And they use a vacuum to clean the floors usually. But other than that it's pretty much mops and scrub brushes. You won't have to worry about that though."
A telly, that was what Remus and his friends had kept talking about in the journals, hadn't it? "A telly. That's the evil but not all day every day blue box doctor something thing, right?" Stu knew he must be despairing Dorcas with his questions, and he was regretting that she wouldn't be there with him for the visits anymore. He hoped that Alice knew all of this. Did she? Did she have someone to give her muggle lessons like Dorcas did for him? "Do you-" he began asking, then shut up, realising that it wouldn't be a good idea to remind Dorcas that she'd been ... taken off the case, so to speak. A mere look at her was a good reminder of why, but he felt bad for her.
The coffee was ready by then and he offered a cup to Dorcas. "Do you add milk, sugar, anything?" he asked, adding milk to his own cup.
"Milk and sugar, thanks," she replied with a slight nod. "And yeah, it's the box Remus was talking about. Don't worry, it's not evil. Or blue," she said, shaking her head a bit, not at Stu but the description. "It just displays... moving pictures. The Muggles make programmes that show on the box, but it'll probably be off so you don't need to worry about that part. Maybe we should try working on wardrobe for a bit? That should be a bit easier." Mostly because she could (hopefully) just find a few suitable things in his closet and show him how to put an outfit or two together. It was a hell of a lot easier to do this when she at least could manage examples but the only Muggle flat she knew was her now burnt one she thought with a frown.
Stu added milk and sugar to her cup as she spoke. He smirked when she reassured him that telly wasn't evil, handing her out her cup of coffee. He was relieved when she said it would most likely be turned off during their visit - from his point of view, the least strange stuff he had to deal with during visits, the best it was for him.
He was sipping his coffee when she suggested taking a look at his wardrobe and he almost coughed it all back out. He used to dress elegantly, when he was first out of Hogwarts and burning his money on every kind of luxury, but galleons had long run out since then. He hadn't been able to buy new clothes for a long while now and, though he'd learned charms to hide their wear, his attempts to dress as good as possible had mitigated results. He didn't want Dorcas to see it, to see how everything he owned was old and (as discreetly as possible) patched up. He had his pride!
He knew, though, that she was right. He needed her help. Muggle fashion was a mystery to him.
"Alright, good idea," he said before leading her to his bedroom.
Dorcas took the mug of coffee and just held it in her hands for a long moment. She gave Stu a confused look at his surprised reaction, not understanding the reason behind it in the slightest. Even if she had managed to figure out that he was embarrassed about the state of his wardrobe, it was hardly as if she had any room to judge. Not when she didn't pay all that much attention to clothes in the first place and was broke, unemployed and living on the charity of others on top of that. But then he was leading the way to his bedroom and she dutifully followed behind. Once in the bedroom, she sat on the bed and curled her legs up underneath her, still tightly clutching her mug. "I'm assuming you're going for middle class? A shirt and trousers should be good enough for that. I... why don't you show me what you have?" There, that seemed as good a place to start as any.
"Middle class sounds right, yeah," he said, then opened his bedroom's cupboard, hastily pushing aside... 99% of the content, aka all his wizarding robes and cloaks, leaving only the very few items of Muggle clothing he owned. "There isn't much, I'm afraid," he said, stepping aside to let her inspect it.
At first Dorcas tried to peer into the closet from her position on the bed but that clearly wasn't working so with some reluctance, she moved back to her feet and went to take a closer look. At least there were a few things that looked like they might be suitable - with some small adjustments - although it was clear that Stu subscribed to the apparently common belief in wizarding society that Muggles dressed in thoroughly outlandish fashions. She really didn't get it - after all she wore jeans and t-shirts on most days herself, as did several of the other Order members. At least he had a couple of pairs of trousers that looked like they might work. Shirts would be easier to deal with. "Okay, try these on," she said, holding out a pair of seemingly plain black trousers before turning back to inspect the shirts.
Stu stood back as she went through his closet, thinking with a smirk that it must be the first time he'd brought a girl to his bedroom without having sex on his mind. Not that he'd say no if Dorcas ever gave him a chance, but bringing anything like that up now, when she was so distressed, was out of the question. She was his friend - at least he liked to think so.
"Alright," he said, taking the trousers she handed him. He stood unmoving though, wondering if he should change here, in front of her. She wasn't prudish, he was pretty sure, but it still didn't sit well with him, especially considering how fragile she was now. "I'll go in the bathroom," he finally settled on, disappearing for a moment before coming back with the trousers on but bare chest as he'd forgotten to bring a shirt.
Dorcas really had expected Stu to just change in front of her. She assumed he was at least wearing pants under his robes and while she did consider him to be a friend, she didn't have any thoughts of him that went beyond friendship. But apparently he wasn't that comfortable and so she just shrugged and went back to inspecting his meagre collection of shirts. When he came back out, she had finally settled on one that should work with a bit of minor alteration and she turned with the shirt in hand to inspect the trousers. "They're a bit dated, but passable, I think. How's your transfiguration?"
Standing there in front of her, passing inspection so to speak, reminded him of his childhood when his mother went through his wardrobe to check what still fit him. The comparison between Dorcas and his mother amused him, and her question caught him off guard, distracted. "It does the job," he said simply, wondering what changes she had in mind for the rather simple shirt that she'd selected. Over the years, he'd learned the proper spells to mend clothes and was now able to do a respectable job of it, but he knew that wasn't what she had in mind. Colour probably, style as well, and length maybe; that was more likely. "What do you have in mind?"
"Put it on first, then we'll see," she said as she handed the shirt over to him. "I'm guessing it'll have to go a bit looser to start. It's a little too 1977," she explained, although she doubt he'd understand. "And trust me, you don't want me trying to transfigure clothes while they're on you. You'll end up with fur. Or naked. I'm pretty good at vanishing spells, but that's about it."
Stu laughed as she threatened to vanish his clothes and put on the shirt. It was indeed a bit tighter than he'd like and he wondered if he'd put weight on since buying it or if it had always been like this. "Good for me that I'm better than you at Transfiguration, then," he joked. He had no idea what her 1977 comment was referring to, as he was quite sure he'd got it longer ago than that and he told her so.
"It's just the seventies style," she said, trying to explain. "Never mind. Okay, so if you can start by shrinking the collar down? So it's just about two inches from where it folds to the end. And then make it so it fits... just looser? Keep the same general shape but you want like about an inch of space between you and the shirt." Really this would have been a hell of a lot easier if she'd paid the slightest bit of attention in transfiguration. Apparently Edgar had been right that it wasn't a complete waste of time after all.
After listening attentively to her directions, Stu took off his shirt once more and laid it down on the bed, careful to keep its shape so it'd be easier to work on it. Picking up his wand, he got to work, shrinking the collars here, enlarging the shirt there. Once he was satisfied, he turned to Dorcas. "Is that what you had in mind? I can put it back on to give you a better idea of the shape, but what about the collar?"
"It's good," Dorcas agreed somewhat absently as she nodded and inspected his work. This would have been so much easier if she'd thought to bring pictures. Why hadn't she thought of that before? "And yeah, put it back on, but first make it all white? Or no, do you think you can manage pinstripes? I'm thinking if we go for a kinda professional look that'd be best. So you look like you're just on a break from the office or something." Moving back to the bed, she slipped off her shoes and sat down, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them as she watched Stu work.
"White with pinstripes?" Stu asked, waving his wand to change the shirt's colour to something that didn't exactly fit her description. Shaking his head, he tried again, getting a better result this time. Looking up from his work, he saw that Dorcas had moved onto his bed, sitting there, wrapped on herself, looking even more fragile this way, if possible. It broke him, and angered him, and he'd have liked nothing more than to find the bloody messed up monster who enjoyed torturing her like this, and make him pay. He was pretty sure he wasn't the only one. Putting on the shirt, he asked, "Is that better?"
"Much better," she replied, giving another nod with her chin resting on her knees. "Now you look like a proper Muggle. Figure as long as we can make sure you're not going to freak out or be baffled by any of their Muggle things, you should be okay. You know about cars, right?" She certainly hoped so, because she really wasn't sure how the hell to explain them otherwise. But he worked for the Knight Bus, he had to know, right?
"I'd make a bloody dangerous driver if I didn't know about Muggle cars," he joked, hoping to get a smile out of her. He looked up in the mirror over his dresser, watching his reflection and wondering if he could really do it. He did look like a Muggle now, if you forgot the wand that he still held in his right hand, but that was just appearances. Would he be able to keep his cool if there was something they didn't cover in this lesson with Dorcas? Would he manage to shut up? He usually rattled on, when he was nervous, which was exactly what he shouldn't do this time. The more he spoke, the more risks there were that he'd say something wrong. "Let's hope I'll be okay," he said, echoing Dorcas, wishing it would be true.
Dorcas did manage the slightest hint of a smile at Stu's crack, although that was really about all she could manage at the moment. "Well the estate agent will probably put you in her car and drive you around to look at different houses. Or his car, either way. And if you're looking at houses out of the city, she'll figure you own one and probably talk about garages and car ports. You should want one. Alice doesn't have to care about it, but she'll expect you to care where you're going to park." Okay, so maybe that part was a bit too heavily influenced by Muggle telly but as far as she could tell Muggle men were all supposed to be obsessed with their cars. Her faint smile faded as she chewed her lip thoughtfully, trying to think if there was anything else she needed to tell him. Anything that would be a dead giveaway that something was wrong if he slipped.
Her smile warmed Stu's heart, no matter how small and furtive it was, and he wished he could get a real one from her. She looked like she could use it, and there wasn't much he could do for her. She was talking about garages and car ports (what was a car port?) and he nodded. He could show interest in cars and where they go, that wouldn't be too foreign for him - at least, not as much as telly and cooking appliances. "What are typical blokes' interests when it comes to a house? There's the place for the car, we said, but what else? Power?" He still had trouble to pronounce e-lek-tri-ci-ty correctly and preferred to get around it.
Dorcas was still chewing her lip, trying to think of what a guy should be interested in. Which probably would have been a lot easier if she actually was a bloke, despite the fact that pretty much all of her time was spent surrounded with them. "Well I think mostly you just need to nod a lot, like you're taking it all in. And like I said, definitely open stuff and play with things. And yeah, most of their boxes and gadgets all run on electricity which just means you plug things into little plates on the wall. It all goes into the electricity box and erm... well I don't really know exactly how that works. You just plug it in and it goes. Oh, and the lights all run on electricity too, with little switches so no lumos spells or anything."
No spell, that part was obvious enough, but how electricity could run through the whole house and make everything work without magic was a mystery to Stu. And to Dorcas as well, apparently, which comforted him a little. If even Dorcas, who was comfortable around Muggles, didn't know, then he probably didn't really need to know either. "Open stuff, nod a lot, and show interest in the mysterious e-clec-trik box, that's good, I think I got it," he said, looking once more at his reflection in the mirror and hoping that he could act like a muggle as well as he looked like one now.
Turning his gaze to his friend, he couldn't ignore how tired she looked and he realised he was probably asking too much of her. "Do you think I'm set?" he asked. He wanted to add that she looked like she could use a break, a nap even, but that'd be too forward, and while Dorcas was an in-your-face-honesty type of girl, he wasn't sure how well she'd take it.
"Electric," she corrected absently. "And not too much interest. More like you're inspecting it than completely fascinated by it or anything. But I'm sure you'll do fine," she said, as reassuringly as she could manage. She was still somewhat concerned, but short of going with him and giving him a good elbow to the side any time he did something wrong - which clearly wasn't an option at this point - it was the best she could do.
He would love nothing more than to have her come with him, but it was sadly impossible. It wasn't that he didn't trust Alice to handle it well, on the contrary he was sure that she would do fine, but it had begun with Dorcas and she knew the muggle world better than most - if not every - other member of the Order of the Phoenix. He'd feel safe with her by his side. It wouldn't be though, and so he'd have to manage without her. Her words did reassure him to some point though. "Electric," he repeated carefully, before adding, "thanks. For everything."
"Least I can do," she replied with a shrug as she uncurled herself and hung her feet over the side of the bed, halfway to getting up but not quite making it all the way. "If you've got more questions or... Well you know where to find me." And now she had to go talk to Edgar which was a visit she wasn't exactly looking forward to as needed as it may have been. Sighing, she ran her hand through her hair and finally stood. "Good luck? Let me know how it goes at least, yeah?"
"Of course I will, I'd take you with me if I could," Stu said with a small smile. "Are you going to stay a little longer to chat and relax?" he offered, guessing that it'd be turned down but offering nonetheless.
"I would, but I've got to go see Ed," she replied apologetically. "Trust me, I'd rather stay but..." Another dismissive little shrug. "I'll see you later though. And then we'll chat and properly catch up, I promise."
"I'll hold you on that promise," he mock-threatened her with a grin. He was about to lead her back to the flat's entrance door when he remembered that they had Apparated straight in his living room and she would leave back the same way. "Would you like to do a side-along there?" he asked, unsure whether she could Apparate by herself.
"I'll be fine," she assured him. "Don't worry, I can get to Ed's house in my sleep at this point. Probably have before actually." She hesitated for a brief moment before stepping forward and giving Stu a quick, light hug before apparating away.