Fenrir thinks you're pretty when you cry. (unmuzzled) wrote in an_ill_wind, @ 2009-05-29 08:33:00 |
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Entry tags: | - 1980/05 may, fenrir greyback, remus lupin |
Who: Remus Lupin and Fenrir Greyback
When: Friday, 29 May, 1980; 2:00 am.
Where: Exeter, Devon, England.
What: Talking.
Rating: PG-13ish.
Status: Completed log.
It was always different at night. As the full moon approached, Fenrir felt stronger, yes. But at night, there was always a yearning, a deep ache somewhere in his chest, an itch he just couldn't quite scratch. He had slept the better part of the day after the trade, and even though he had sprawled out on the sofa somewhere near midnight, he was no longer remotely tired. And especially not the last night before the full moon. He laid there, on the sofa in the house he had taken to staying in for the last two days, for an hour, perhaps two, before he simply couldn't sit still any longer. He cast wary eyes toward the still form of Remus Lupin and then padded nearly silently through the house, out the back door and onto the porch. It was an uncharacteristically clear night for England and Fenrir breathed deep as he carefully shut the screen door behind him. How did so many people stay cooped up in their houses all the time? He wouldn't have been able to stand it. It was one of the things he had hated about school, all those years ago. Fenrir was not cut out for the indoors. Automatically, his eyes were drawn to the pregnant moon and he leaned against the railing of the porch, eyes skyward and form still as he watched the heavens. Remus hadn't thought he would be able to sleep. Not after all the drama that had appeared in his journal while he had been looking for something to eat in the Muggle kitchen. He had been shocked and horrified by what had transpired during his short absence and while he attempted some damage control, it was clear that it was far too late. He had finally fallen asleep contemplating running away to Africa or even further if he could manage it. Several hours later, he woke but couldn't have explained what had woken him. The room was empty. Greyback was gone. Remus sat up straighter, listening intently. He wasn't in the house, he realised after a moment. It was too still inside for there to be anyone there but him. Should he go back to sleep or go outside? Curiosity got the best of him, as it so often did, and Remus got up and padded outside. Pushing through the screen door, he saw Greyback standing on the edge of the porch, looking up at the sky. He could feel it too, though he doubted it was the same for him as it was for Greyback. He seemed to crave it, while Remus dreaded it. Fenrir could hear the younger man coming down the corridor and thus remained unsurprised when he heard the screen door open. The moon was bright, still throwing into stark relief a handful of bruises and scratches from just the night before. Werewolves healed faster, but they scarred more because of it. Even when bitten by another werewolf. The bite on Fenrir's forearm had long stopped bleeding, but it looked angry and red against the rest of his skin. He didn't look at Remus when he spoke, eyes still fixated on the moon. "Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Remus shrugged, then realised Greyback wasn't looking at him. "Can't sleep." He glanced up at the moon, but was unable to appreciate it when he knew what would happen tomorrow night. "Did you mean what you said? About not going near any people tomorrow night?" That was his worst fear and he knew that if he found out he had hurt someone, he would turn himself in to the Ministry for whatever they felt necessary. He wasn't a monster and he swore he never would be. "Yes. If it can be helped," he replied, finally dropping his eyes and turning his head just enough to catch Remus in his peripheral vision. "I know a couple of places. I can't guarantee that there won't be travellers, but most people don't risk going outside on a full moon." Except for muggles of course, who didn't know better. Still, Fenrir had every intention of being true to his word. "Anyway, we'll go early if you want to look around before sunset." Remus nodded, all too aware that he had to take Greyback's word for it. For all he knew, he could be being set up to do something he really didn't want to do, but it was too late to stop it now. He couldn't leave without his wand. Well, not without a great deal of trouble. Not to mention actually getting away from Greyback, which Remus doubted would be possible. "Alright, thanks," he said, sounding rather subdued. Fenrir nodded, more out of acknowledgement than anything. "You shouldn't be so scared," he said after a moment. He could feel it, in some form or another, coming off of Remus. "If you calm down, you'll have more control. Maybe not a lot, but some. It's an acceptance issue." He turned to face Remus, pushing himself up to sit on the ledge. Old wood creaked under his weight, but held. Remus shook his head, unsure if he should explain or not. It was a novel experience though, talking to someone who actually knew and understood what it was like to be a werewolf, even if they were on vastly different sides. "I'm not scared. At least, not of tomorrow night. Well, maybe a little. But-" He broke off, letting out a sigh as he leaned back against the wall of the house, feeling frustrated again at what had happened, and what little he had been able to piece together. "It's just all going to hell and I can't stop it," he said finally, gazing out into the garden but not seeing any of it, despite the brilliant light from the moon. Fenrir considered him for a long moment. "You're trying to control too much," he said finally. "You're going to kill yourself if you keep it up, you know. At some point, you have to let go and let nature run it's course. No matter what part of your life it is." He did, after all, have some notion that Remus wasn't talking about the full moon any more. Remus let out a short huff of air and managed a faint smile. "You make it sound so easy," he commented, wishing it could be so. He knew it couldn't though. It was too late for that. "Pretty soon everyone is going to know what I am." His eyes met Greyback's and he smiled grimly. "And then I guess I'll find out who my real friends are." "I didn't say it was easy," Fenrir corrected, almost gently. Almost. Aha, so that was it. How many people, Fenrir wondered, had Remus been lying to for all these years? He automatically felt a stab of irritation, much as he hated it when werewolves were ashamed of what they were. Why couldn't they understand that they were stronger because of it? "Yeah, I guess you will," he mused a little ruefully, but was otherwise silent on the subject. Fenrir could go on for days about how wizards couldn't understand werewolves, but he had already given Remus a large dose of that. For now, he was letting him stew in it. No need to rush, after all. Remus really couldn't be sure how that was going to go over once it got out. Some like Dorcas could swing either way while others like Benjy Fenwick he was almost certain would never want anything to do with him. Still, he could be wrong. They could all hate him. He was surprised though, that Greyback wasn't rubbing it in his face. "I do have thee friends though, that I know will be there for me, no matter what," he said, thinking of his conversation with James just before they had left his flat. "They're my family." Fenrir had to bite his tongue a little harder to refrain from protesting that statement. At least right away. But he knew. He'd seen it before, the ones who thought they were fine. And later seen them commit suicide when they were finally left all alone. Eventually, they all left, the ones that wolves like Remus deigned to call family. Werewolves had no one but each other, and it was a hard fact of life. But he was confident that Remus would learn eventually. Sooner rather than later, perhaps. "I suppose so long as you believe that," he commented idly, just leaving that little dose of doubt. It was all he wanted to say on the subject. He moved his gaze to the neighbouring house, squinting and leaning back slightly as he glanced through a window. "We have to leave in the morning," he said finally. "They're starting to notice that something is wrong. Or they're starting to think that they notice, which is just as good. What did your friend do with the boy?" Remus frowned at Greyback's idle comment and was about to protest when he continued. "Where will we go?" he asked instead, wondering if there would be some way to get a cryptic message to his friends to let them know he was moving on. Probably not without alerting the entire Order, given that he couldn't ward anything private. "Oh, he took him to a hospital. I don't know which one." "Well, I suppose you'd object to taking another house to use, especially if it was only for a handful of hours," Fenrir couldn't help but sound vaguely annoyed. "We'll find something to eat - at a restaurant even, if you like - and then I'll show you some of my ideas for more... deserted areas of the country to spend the full moon. It'll leave us with some extra time, but I'm sure you'll find a way to occupy yourself." Fenrir sounded slightly amused - especially at the idea of eating in a restaurant. But he could steal the man's wallet - the dead one, upstairs. Salazar, he could hardly remember the last time he'd had to pay for something. It was the most bizarre thing that Remus had ever heard of. And given who his best friends were, that was really saying something. Greyback's amusement told Remus that this wasn't something he was used to doing. He had avoided thinking about what had happened to the boy's parents, and what Greyback usually did to take a house or for meals when he didn't have a house that he'd stolen. He knew all too well what the answers were and they didn't bear thinking about. "Alright, that sounds good," Remus said, though really, he could hardly object. Pushing away from the wall, he added, "I might go and get some more sleep before we leave then." Fenrir nodded and slid off the railing, turning his back to Remus as the moon drew his eyes again. "You should," he agreed. "Another four hours, I'm guessing. We have to leave before they get up." He was quiet for a moment. "I'll get you when it's time. I'll be upstairs around sunrise. Don't follow." It was a stern warning, but just as much for Remus's sanity than anything. Fenrir had no illusions about the boy's dieting habits. It likely didn't include people, and so, he would spare him the image. It was a courtesy, really. For once Remus' curiosity wasn't awakened by the orders to stay downstairs. Somehow, he knew that whatever went on upstairs was not something he wanted any part of. "Alright," he agreed, and pulled the screen door open. He returned to the living room and stretched out on the couch. Glancing at his journal lying on the table, he contemplated it for a moment before writing in it briefly, then slid the journal into his pocket so it wouldn't be forgotten if Greyback got him up in a hurry later. |