Dorcas is torn to pieces (certaindoom) wrote in an_ill_wind, @ 2009-09-21 19:30:00 |
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Another night of restless sleep, constantly interrupted by nightmares had done nothing for Dorcas's nerves. Once again, she had abandoned all attempts at sleep before the sun had even begun to peek through the windows and spent most of the morning curled into her corner, crying in both fear and frustration. There was a brief attempt to pace around the stable, an attempt to pry her listening device off the table, more pleas for someone to please come save her, an attempt to force open the doors, but two days with little sleep and only a glass of water and a bite of cake as sustenance, not to mention Yaxley's cruciatus, had left her weak and it was not long before she had retreated back to her corner. It did not help matters that Dorcas was a person who thrived on human company. Depended on it, even. And Yaxley's most certainly did not count. She did not do well with being left alone, left with nothing but her own mind that quickly seemed to be turning against her with thoughts of death and pain and nightmares that seemed to follow her into wakefulness. She just wanted her friends. She wanted to hug Ed... if he was even still alive. No, she couldn't think about that. She wanted to curl up with Al, and be safe and surrounded by all of her friends and told that everything was going to be okay. That they weren't going to let anyone hurt her ever again. But her mind would not allow her even the comfort of those thoughts. Instead it was how she was never going to see any of them again. And then she was sobbing all over again, her fingers clutching tightly at the denim of her jeans as she rocked back and forth on the ground. Wondering if today was going to be the day that Yaxley killed her. Gobbo took his directions and nodded fervently. This whole mess concerning the Master's wife was highly stressful and he was silently thankful that Master Leoben had decided to assign him elsewhere for the day. Tend to the girl in the stables, Gobbo. Food and water. Soap and warm water. Nothing else. Gobbo had nodded and bowed and now he had soup and a pitcher of ice water balanced in his stick-like arms as he hurried from the kitchen to follow his instructions. He appeared in the stables with a crack that echoed off the high ceiling, and hurriedly placed the contents of his struggle in the kitchen onto a sparkling clean table. Gobbo was Master Leoben's favourite elf, though he never said as much. But he was trusted with the task of cleaning the stables, on the occasion that they had to be cleaned. He kept Master Leoben's secrets and he did it without question. Master Leoben was very reasonable, Gobbo thought, as long as you followed his directions exactly. "Miss!" he squeaked, pouring a glass of water and carrying a bowl of some sort of chicken stew or another to the girl on the floor. "Miss, Master says you must eat." Gobbo set the water carefully on the ground and offered the bowl to her. Dorcas was startled by the sudden sound of the house elf arriving in the stable and she picked her head up slightly to watch as it scurried about the room, oddly both wary and hopeful at the creature's arrival. She had never had much interaction with house elves herself, aside from when she had snuck into the kitchens at Hogwarts, but they had always struck her as kind. And yet there was still a thread of unease in the back of her mind. This was Yaxley's house elf. And who knew what he might have had done to the food. Not to mention that she did not understand why he cared if she ate if he was just going to kill her anyway. But the smell of the food and the promise of water was overwhelming. She still had not ruled out the idea that he might poison her, but some bit of reason told her that he probably wouldn't send his house elf to do it and deprive himself the privilege of watching. And now wasn't that a fucked up thought. Slowly, she pushed herself up off the ground so she was sitting and could take the bowl, which she nestled in between her knees and chest. "Thanks," she said quietly, taking a hesitant spoonful of the soup. The necessity of food trumped whatever small spark of defiance remained within her and once the first bit had crossed her lips, restraint and worry were gone as she gave into her hunger and began quickly devouring the meal. She was going to make herself sick, she realised after a minute and with some effort, she stopped and looked at the elf. "What's your name?" Gobbo observed the girl eat her food for a moment, wringing his hands. He was glad though, that she was doing as the Master said, because otherwise he didn't know what he was supposed to do. Was he supposed to force it down her throat or something. More likely he'd smash his head against the door or something. "Erm, Gobbo, Miss," he answered quietly, scurrying over to the pitcher of water and getting ready to refill her glass, never mind that she hadn't touched it yet. He wondered if she hadn't seen it yet, and picked it up and set it closer to her before backing up another couple of steps. "Master says you must eat and drink, Miss," he said earnestly, nodding towards the glass. The soup itself was doing much to help Dorcas's thirst and while she had every intention of drinking the water - that was one thing she could not bring herself to refuse at this point - she did not understand the elf's insistence that she drink now. And while Yaxley had seemingly managed to beat out any thoughts of resistance from her as far as he was concerned, there was no compulsion to immediately comply with the house elf. "I will," she assured him, although her voice was still soft and weak. "I'm Dorcas," she added before taking a few more spoonfuls of soup, more slowly this time. And then another pause as her curiosity got the better of her, even if she probably didn't really want to know the answer. "Do you... do this a lot? Tend to... Yaxley's prisoners?" There was more than a bit of bitterness in her quiet voice at identifying herself in such a way, but it was true. Gobbo wrung his hands more, wishing desperately that she would drink the water because that's what Master Leoben had said. Something else though. He was supposed to get her soap and water and a rag so she could wash off, that had been part of the instructions too. He shifted his (slight) weight from on bare foot to the other. He didn't know if he was supposed to answer questions. Hadn't Master Leoben said nothing else? Food, water, means to wash off with and that was all. He'd been very clear and Gobbo suddenly looked horrified. He scuddled across the floor to the nearest table and climbed on top of it. "BAD GOBBO!!! BAD! BAD!" Every word was punctuated by a violent smash to the head one one of the surface of the table. A more horrifying thought occurred to him though and he scrambled off the table. What if he dented it? He stomped on his fingers instead, whimpering in pain. "Master said no," he cried, "Only what Master says. Mustn't answer questions!!!" Dorcas very nearly spilled the rest of her soup as Gobbo started beating his head into the table and had there been any more strength to the startled little jump that she managed, she undoubtedly would have. For a moment she could think of nothing to do but stare in shocked horror as the house elf punished itself. But she really could not bear to watch without doing something and so the soup was hastily set aside, knocking over her water glass in the process. She scrambled awkwardly to her feet, supporting herself with the wall for a moment before she moved as quickly as she could manage (which wasn't very much) toward the elf. "No. Please don't do that. Stop," she pleaded as she fell to her knees in front of the creature and put her hands on its shoulders. "I promise. No more questions. I'm sorry! Please just stop hurting yourself." She'd never seen a house elf act like this before and she was horrified. Even with everything that was happening to her, she still could not bear to watch Gobbo's display. Creatures had always been a soft spot for her and that she had caused the elf to hurt itself was a terrible thought. Gobbo stopped, unable to help but take a direct order right away, even if it wasn't from his Master. He wrapped his arms around himself tightly, tears in big eyes that swept the room. It was then that he caught the spilled glass of water. Gobbo gasped and wrenched himself thoughtlessly from Dorcas's grip. He immediately refilled the glass. "Master says you must eat and drink, Miss Dorcas Miss," he insisted, righting the glass. "Gobbo will be right back, Master has more instructions." He disappeared with a crack and quickly filled a medium tub with warm water and soap. It was heavy and instead of carrying it, Gobbo used his own rather odd brand of magic to carry it. When he apparated, there was something of a slosh and he fussed over his own makeshift clothes for a moment as he realised it's soaked him through. "Miss Dorcas, Master says you should clean up," he squeaked, which wasn't exactly true, but Master Leoben did not like mess and Gobbo couldn't imagine him approving of the smeared, caked blood all over her. He tossed a wash cloth in the water and then hurried to refill her water glass, whether or not it had been touched. Dorcas did not like the sound of more instructions, but she didn't want to see the elf punish itself again either so as soon as it disappeared, she crawled back to her corner. Standing again seemed like it'd take too much effort. And after the brief exertion, she was certainly ready for the water, draining half the glass and picking up her bowl of soup just as Gobbo returned with the tub. She eyed it warily for a moment. As disgusting as she felt, as much as she wanted to be free of her father's blood, she was not entirely sure what the elf actually expected. Was she supposed to strip and cram herself into the tub? Because that wasn't happening. And she didn't particularly like the idea of soaking her clothes either and adding cold and wet to her list of complaints. She couldn't very well ask Gobbo, that was obvious. Instead, she stalled. "I will. As soon as I finish my soup," she replied, hoping that too wouldn't send the elf into another fit of self-mutilation. She wanted to talk to Gobbo, to see if she could find anything out from the creature, really just to have conversation at this point with someone who wasn't planning on killing her, even if it was a house elf, but instead she returned her attention to eating with a sad, resigned expression. Gobbo again shifted from one foot to the other, frowning slightly and clearly unhappy with this girl's obvious intention of waiting. Gobbo was really not used to waiting. Master Leoben was very efficient and he did not really take his time and so Gobbo didn't quite know what to do with himself. He watched Dorcas eat for another moment and then let his eyes wander around the stables, squinting at splash of something on the floor and immediately scurrying over to polish it away. It was then that he dared to climb on the table again and ensure that he hadn't dented the metal in his hurry to punish himself for disobeying orders. It appeared fine, though he breathed on it and polished away a mark. And a knife score. He needed to do something and he wasn't supposed to leave her here with everything. Dorcas glanced up occasionally as Gobbo scurried around cleaning the already unnaturally spotless room, although clearly did not share his desire for efficiency. Now that the initial burst of greedy hunger had passed, she was more concerned with getting the soup to her mouth without spilling it when her hand decided to shake as a lingering effect of the cruciatus. The soup helped though, already seeming to restore some small semblance of strength and she could not help but be grateful for it. When she had finally finished, she set the bowl aside and took a long drink of water before moving towards the tub. Still uncertain of what exactly the house elf expected, she decided to kneel at its side and lean over the edge, slowly bringing the wash cloth over her bare arms. The water was quickly turned pink with blood and Dorcas bit hard at her bottom lip, trying to keep herself from crying again. Instead she talked. "It's my dad's blood," she said sadly. "Yaxley killed him and he died in my arms. He wasn't speaking to me. Hadn't in almost a month and even before that... We never got on that well. You'd think that'd make it easier but it really doesn't." It wasn't that she expected a response or even a reaction from Gobbo. She just needed to talk. Gobbo instinctively looked up at the sound of a voice, expecting his Master's call and only getting Dorcas's. He frowned slightly. Surely he knew. But Gobbo kept his Master's secrets. He continued buffing out the knife scratches and only spoke idly, to say something because Master did not allow for silences either. "Master does not like fathers," he said, squinting as he rubbed out the last of the stains on the table. He moved compulsively to the next one, immediately finding a stain to polish away. Dorcas was surprised when Gobbo spoke, although his remark only brought a frown to her face. She wasn't entirely sure what he meant, but she wasn't about to ask either. "Well he doesn't seem to like mothers or brothers or Dorcases either," she replied bitterly. "He killed my whole family. And now he's going to..." At the feel of tears pricking at her eyes once again, she trailed off, her teeth finding her bottom lip again. No, that was one thing she did not want to talk about. Instead she brought the wash cloth to her face and neck, before dropping it back in the tub and sitting back on her heels. She was still a mess and her clothes were still caked with blood but she had cleaned every bit of exposed skin that she had and that was the best she could do. Gobbo wasn't paying exact attention to what the girl was saying, instead focusing intently on a particularly difficult scuff on the corner of the table he was on and looking very distressed that it was not coming out. Finally, he seemed somewhat satisfied, and then turned his wide eyes to Dorcas. "Miss, you are not clean," he insisted, scurrying over and pulling the wash cloth from her. With a loud crack the water was changed and Gobbo dipped the cloth in again. He motioned at her greasy looking hair. "Miss, he does not like mess!" Gobbo cried, "He will be very angry if you are not clean." Dorcas did not care what Yaxley liked, but the words very angry sent a ripple of fear down her spine and she lowered her gaze, nodding slightly. "Okay," she replied softly as she took the wash cloth back and slowly moved so she could dip her hair into the water and wash it as best as she could. It did nothing for the fact that it was a tangled mess of knots, but the soap at least took away the grease and dirt and blood weighing it down. When she was finished, she sat up and wrung her hair out as best as she could, twisting it around on itself and letting it hang over her shoulder. For a long moment she remained silent, staring down at her lap before she looked up at Gobbo. "Please," she said, her eyes wide and red and pleading. "You have to help me. Get me out of here. My friends- They'll make sure you're safe too. You won't be punished or anything and you'll never have to hurt yourself again. Just help. Please." Gobbo observed Dorcas critically or a moment before hurrying away to clean up the bowl and refill the water one last time before vanishing the pitcher. As soon as he was sure Dorcas was done with the tub, that too, vanished from the stable. At her request, he stared with wide eyes and frantically shook his head. "YOU ARE NOT MY MASTER," he cried, "GOBBO ONLY DOES WHAT MASTER AND MISTRESS SAYS." He looked highly insulted at the thought and ran to get her water. "You must drink Miss, Master says. Drink so Gobbo can tend to Master." Dorcas took the water glass and clutched it tightly in her hand, but she did not abandon her pleas, even at the house elf's distress. If anything, it only made her more desperate, her voice rising slightly. "No, please," she begged. "You can't just leave me here. Don't you understand? He's... He's going to kill me." There was even a slight edge of anger that creeped into her voice as she spoke, to think that the elf could just leave her to die. She didn't understand. If house elves could really glare, Gobbo would have been doing so. "Master is his own Master, Miss," was the only explanation he gave. He pushed the glass at her, likely spilling some of it. "You must drink, Miss, Master says Gobbo can not leave you alone with anything." The water spilled over Dorcas's hand but her only response was to bring the glass closer to her chest protectively, still refusing to drink it. She did not want to lose what would undoubtedly be seen as a precious commodity soon enough, but if the elf would not leave her with the glass, she was going to plead with him as long as she could. "But you could save me," she replied, her voice growing quieter again, but still intense. "Please. I know you can get me out of here. You can't- You have to help. Please don't leave me to die here." She wasn't even sure she was pleading with Gobbo himself any more or if it was just a desperate cry for someone to help her. Gobbo only continued to look horrified, shifting from one foot to the other and looking more and more distressed. "You must--Miss, Master said--" Gobbo stopped there and promptly began beating his head into the wall again. "BAD GOBBO, BAD, CAN NOT LEAVE MISS WITH WATER!!!" He yelped in pain, but continued to bash his head into the very solid wall, absolutely terrified of what Master Leoben would say if he disappointed him so thoroughly. He might give him clothes and that thought alone brought sobs to Gobbo's body. As frustrated as she was with the house elf's refusal to just help her, guilt curled through her stomach at the sound of Gobbo yelping in pain. She didn't understand why he kept hurting himself like this and she felt horrible for causing it but if he would just get her out of here then both of them would be safe and free from pain and oh god, she didn't even know what to do any more. "STOP!" she cried out desperately. "JUST STOP IT! GOD, WHY WON'T YOU JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE? YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO HURT YOURSELF AGAIN! I PROMISE!" But even despite all of her fear and frustration, she could see that it was a lost cause. No amount of arguing or pleading or yelling was going to make the creature do anything but follow Yaxley's orders and leave her here to die. She let out a pained, desperate cry as she sat back heavily on her heels. A moment later and her eyes were closed as she slowly but steadily drank the water in resignation, feeling as if she were somehow signing her own death warrant. Gobbo paid no attention to the girls' shouting, beating itself over the head until she started to drink. At which point, he stumbled away and waited until the water was gone. He was dizzy and hurt-y and he wished the girl would just do as his Master said, because everything was just so much simpler that way. "Thank you, Miss," Gobbo sniffed, wiping his face on his sheet before taking the glass. His job was done now. Dorcas was fed and cleaned and had had a couple of glasses of water and Master's tables were clean and now he could go do other useful things that might not involve him beating himself. And so, Gobbo disappeared with a crack. There was no time for further pleas as Gobbo was gone before she could even open her mouth again. Not that it would have done any good. She didn't understand that the house elf truly couldn't disobey orders, not that he simply would not. But there was nothing to be done now except retreat back to her corner. Except curl up on herself yet again; knees to chest, arms wrapped tightly around her legs as she buried her face against her still blood-stained jeans and cried, still repeating the same frustrated, desperate refrain even without Gobbo there to hear it. "Why won't you help me? Why won't anyone please... Help. I just want to go home." |