Tracey shrugged and shook her head. “Not really.” She shrugged again. “You just…seem to be having as much fun as I am.” Trying to lighten the mood, she gave Heidi a lopsided grin. “So, your fan is as annoying as always?”
Seeing it really wasn’t working, she looked away again. She could hear the hurt in Heidi’s voice, but she couldn’t really do anything to fix it. A mix of fear, shame, sadness and anger swirled in her the more Heidi spoke. Tracey tried to find happiness in Heidi’s admission that she liked her so much, but even that felt as if it turned sour.
“Of course I know,” she responded, obviously bitter. Tracey had needed to hide how she felt from everyone, how could she not know?
“And you think I wanted to do it?” she practically spat. “And who said I didn’t try to get out of it?” That was the hardest pill to swallow because she really hadn’t tried. It was only because she knew there was no good way out, but that didn’t make it any easier.
“Let him?” she repeated, her mouth and throat going dry. Did she really want to know? Tracey wanted to cry, but she wasn’t going to let herself. “I would have gotten out of it, like I normally do,” she explained cryptically.