Vanessa had nothing left but insistence, which kept her unwavering on the stairs even as he shouted at her, though she had to grip the railing. She just wished people would look at it from her perspective, like Julian had. It had felt so much like kill or be killed. It was a fear that still haunted her. Professor Frost had put the idea in her head that the mental shield installed by them in her head could perform some sort of tracking or monitoring, and to this day feared mentioning them by name. She was even nervous about the stream of mental curses that floated through her mind after the latest string of yells. Josh couldn't ask that many rhetorical questions and run off before she could find a way to word any sort of answer!
"I have plenty of an idea of what Regan went through! And Julian! And Mister Cassidy and Theresa! And I could know others if people would just talk to me!" She felt like she couldn't get a word in edgewise unless she raised her voice, too, both to be heard over him and as a display of her tendency to copycat the mannerisms around her. Even as she followed into the hall, though, she started to falter. She wished she had more confidence, but she only had another try or two left in her. "I didn't do anything with the intention of getting anyone hurt, let alone killed! And I know I'm not the only one who's fucked up in who I associated with in my past! They saved my fucking life! I thought I owed them until they took it too far, and I know I shouldn't have been tangled up with them for so long, but sometimes you don't realize until it's too late just how much harm a group is doing." She took a deep breath, feeling winded and light-headed from so much shouting. So much for not drawing a scene.