Who: Remus and Marlene What: Chit chat and a confession Where: On the way back to Hogwarts When: Backdated to immediately following the picnic date Rated: Who knows.. I suck at ratings. Suitable for general eyes, I suppose.
Marle waved to Alice as she took off to serve a detention for Frank. She still wasn't sure what she had done to deserve one in the first place. Sirius had already taken off to do Merlin only knows what, so that left her and Remus to walk back to the common room alone. Still wondering why he had frowned at her and Sirius earlier, she decided now would be a good time to ask what was bothering him. "Can I ask you something?" she started.
Uh oh. That was always a worrying question. He bit his lip. "Um, yes?" He wished he could have sounded more sure on answering, so he through in a grin for good measure. "What's up?"
Marle ran a hand through her hair. "Promise you'll be honest with me, okay?" she ran a hand through her hair, trying to think of how to word her question. "Earlier you kind of-- frowned at me and Sirius. I just wanted to know if there was something wrong.."
Oh dear. He didn't want to lie to her, but he couldn't possibly tell he. He just couldn't. "N-no, no, everything's fine. I just... remembered something that I forgot to do earlier. You know... how you sometimes get really random thoughts like that."
Marle gave him the all knowing look. "Are you sure? You know you can tell me anything." she placed a hand on his shoulder.
Crap. "I know I can." No he couldn't. Even if she would have been ok with his liking boys, the fact that it was Sirius that he liked... you didn't tell a friend that you were in love with their boyfriend. "Everything's fine, really. It's nothing."
She frowned a little, but nodded. She didn't want to push him if he wasn't ready. That's if there was even anything for him to tell. "Alright." she put on a smile.
Remus ducked his head, trying not to frown. "Um... so it was a really nice picnic." Lifting his head, his grin was once again firmly in place.
Marle smiled and nodded. "It was a lot of fun. Sorry for starting the cake fight." she giggled.
Remus chuckled. "Nah, it was great," he insisted, grin broadening and becoming more genuine.
She grinned back. "The sugar rush just sort of hit me all of a sudden and I felt the need to so something irrational." she looked down at her chocolate stained dress and laughed a little.
"Sometimes you just need to be irrational," he agreed. "Though, I do hope the elves can get those stains out of your dress. Would be a shame if it were ruined, it looks very nice on you."
Marle blushed a little, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "Thank you. I'm sure there is a spell to get the stains out, I just can't think of it off the top of my head."
"I'm sure there is," he agreed. Ah, small talk.. not Remus' strong point.
Marle nodded a little, trying to think of something to say. "Erm.. so." she laughed, trying to lighten the awkward silence. "How's life, Remus?"
"Um... good. A bit busy, but... good."
She nodded, "Loaded with as much homework as me?"
"Yeah. Just... just got caught up with everything from when I missed those classes."
"Why did you miss them anyway?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Phlebotomy." Ok, yeah, that wasn't an explanation. "I have herediatry hemochromatosis," he explained, this particular lie so familiar that it came easily to him. "It affects how much iron my body absorbs... sometimes it gets to be too much and the excess iron has to be gotten rid of."
Marle's eyes widened. "Really? That sounds serious. How er.. do they get rid of it?"
"Well... part of the treatment is preventative. Diet is a big part of it... hence the giving up meat." He bit his lip, not wanting to worry her with the next part, though he knew that he would. "If that isn't enough, then sometimes... I have to have a... a bloodletting."
"Ah, it all made sense now." she nodded, then her eyes widened when he mentioned the bloodletting. "Have you had to have that done before? It doesn't sound pleasant."
"A... a few times, yeah. It's not so bad, though," he shrugged. "More annoying than anything, really. Pompfrey always feels the need to keep me overnight in the hospital wing."
Marle frowned a little. Poor guy. "If you have to go through that again, I'll come keep you company?"
"Thanks, Marle." He smiled at her. He hated this, hated the lying, hating that he couldn't give his friends the benefit of the doubt that if she knew the truth she would be just as willing to come and visit him in recovery, hated that it wasn't his choice to see if she would or not. He preferred to think that she would, but... he would never know. "Hmm, I wonder if Alice is enjoying her dat... tention." Shit.
Marle raised an eyebrow. "Come again?"
"Alice's detention... I'm just wondering how it's going." Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
She wasn't buying it. Remus really was a terrible liar. "Come on, Rem. This is Marle you're talking to here." she wrapped an arm around him. "You can tell me anything and I'd understand." she stuck out her bottom lip. No one could resist the Marle pout.
He really was a terrible, horrible liar. "Anything? You... promise that?" He sighed. "You... you can't tell anyone. Not even Sirius."
Uh oh. This seemed to be serious. "Anything. I promise." she gave him a reassuring smile.
Oh boy. He sure did seem to be confessing this a lot lately. He stopped walking, turning to Marle and taking a deep breath. "Alice is... she's on a date with Frank Longbottom." And that wasn't all. "I'm... um... that is.. I'm..." Well, it sure wasn't getting any easier to say with practice. "I'm... gay. Alice knows, has done for a while. We're... we're not dating. Not... not really."
Marle raised an eyebrow at the first part, then her jaw practically dropped to the ground at the second part. She couldn't say she was really surprised though. "You know.. that actually explains a lot."
"It does?"
She smirked. "You just get along with women too well. But why pretend to date Alice? To appear straight to everyone else? You really shouldn't care what others think."
Remus blushed. "Th-thanks, Marle. Um... yeah... I know I shouldn't but... w-well... I... I don't want to..." he trailed off with a shrug. "To make anyone uncomfortable, I guess." And that whole 'crush on Sirius' bit, of course.
Marle gave Remus a big hug. "You're welcome." She pulled away and smiled. "Even if you don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, you shouldn't have to pretend to be something you're not."
Remus hugged her back. "I... I know... I just... I don't mind, and... well... Alice offered, actually. It... it was her idea." Which had really surprised him.
"Alice is too nice of a girl" she smiled. She was actually kind of excited about the fact Remus was gay. Another person to talk about boys and do girly things with. That's if he were into that sort of thing. "You still should just be honest about it though. I'm sure you'd feel a lot better not having to hide it. Does any one else know? besides me and Alice."
"Lily knows too." And that had been quite a confession. Alice, Lily, and now Marle... but none of his best friends, almost more like brothers than friends (almost because the idea of thinking of Sirius as a brother led to some very... disturbing thoughts indeed. He would certainly never think of Romulus in that sort of way).
"The boys don't know?" Marle was a bit shocked to hear that she knew before them. "I would have thought they'd be the first to know. Are you afraid of how they'll react?"
Damn but she was right on the mark today. "A... a bit," Remus nodded. "I... I know that I shouldn't, but... I... I can't help it."
She nodded, "I understand. But I think you have to worry more about them being hurt that you thought you couldn't tell them, than the actually fact you're gay."
Remus smiled. "I... I don't like keeping it a secret. I... I'm glad I told you too."
"You shouldn't have to." she gently poked at his chest. "You really need to tell the boys though. They're you're best mates, they'll understand. You're still the same Remus, right? right!"
"R-right," he blushed. He didn't really see that happening any time soon. It would just make things awkward, no matter what Lily seemed to think on that matter. Marle was right, they would understand... eventually. But first they would have to come to terms with it, and that could end up in years of awkwardness between them. "I... I'll think about telling them," he promised.
"Good." Marle smiled happily. "So Alice is on a date with Frank, eh?" she chuckled lightly. "Lucky girl."
"Tell me about it," he grinned, giving her a little wink. "I'm a little bit jealous."
Marle giggled. "Frank is gorgeous, not gonna lie." she giggled more. "I am SO loving the fact I can gush about boys with you now."
"What do you think Alice and I do on our 'dates'?" He smirked.
"I am so jealous. You should let me come on your so called dates now." she chuckled.
"Don't you girls do that sort of thing all the time, though?" He did wonder why it was so special to talk boys with him.
"Not ALL the time." Marle smirked. "we're going to have to find a nice boy for you." she gave him a evil grin.
Uh oh. Lots and lots of uh oh. "Y-you don't have to do that," he hastened to insist, cheeks coloring slightly. "R-really."
"Of course I do! What kind of friend would I be if I didn't?" she faked a hurt expression. "So tell me. What kind of boys are Mr. Lupins type?"
"I... I dunno..." This was very dangerous territory. "I... I'm not sure I have one." After all, 'Sirius Black' was not a type, really.
"Hmm..." Marle thought out loud. "Well, you think Frank is fit. He's like the athletic type."
Oh yes, Remus definitely liked boys who played Quidditch. "I suppose..." He frowned. He needed to get her off of this line of thinking. Now if only he knew how to change the topic.
"Who else are you attracted to? Actually, if you don't mind me asking, how did you figure out you were gay?"
"No, I don't mind." Maybe that was the out he needed. "I... I guess I always kind of knew that I was different," he admitted. "And then... I just... I kept finding myself noticing guys... thinking about them, finding myself wanting to kiss them... but I didn't want to admit to myself that I was feeling what I was feeling. So... I figured that I would pretend that I wasn't feeling those things. That.. that's when I asked Alice out." That had been a big ball of awkward. "We didn't even make it through a whole date before she figured out that something was up."
"She wasn't too bummed, was she?" Marle frowned a little.
His smile turned fond as he looked back over the memory. "She... kind of reacted like you did, actually. Said we could go guy watching together."
Marle nodded. "That's good. I would have felt awful not knowing about it then. I'd like to think she'd have told me if she had been upset." she smiled a little. Then something hit her suddenly. "Remus... you don't like one of the boys, do you?" she asked the dreaded question.
(rinimalfjack) AIM 12:56 He really had been hoping she wouldn't ask that... praying even. One more mark in the "God is laughing at you" column. "Wh-what? N-no, of course not!" Unfortunately the way in which he was turning bright red wasn't at all convincing.
Marle gave Remus a sympathetic look. "Oh Rem..." she frowned big.
"Marle..." he frowned. "It... it's just a crush. I... I'll get over it." Someday.
"Doesn't make it not suck any less. Trust me, i know."
"S-sorry."
She gave him a puzzled look. "What are you apologizing to me for?"
"I... don't actually know," he admitted. "Just... felt like the thing to do?"
She shook her head. "You have nothing to apologize for. You've can't help who you like." Then it hit her. He was apologizing because he liked Sirius. She remembered when Alice told her she thought it was Sirius that liked Remus. It was actually completely flipped around.
"N-no, I... I suppose that you can't," he agreed.
Marle suddenly felt that she should be apologizing to him. "I'm so sorry, Rem."
"For what? You didn't do anything wrong." It wasn't her fault that Sirius wasn't interested in boys.
"I still feel terrible. Especially if you feel anywhere near as horrible as I felt the past 5 years"
"The past 5 years?"
Marle mentally slapped herself. Of course he didn't know about how long she had liked Sirius. "Er.." she bit her lip. "I've had a thing for Sirius for a while."
"Oh." Five years. That was a very long time to have a crush. He knew, since, if he was honest with himself, that was how long he had liked Sirius as well. "Well... you've got your man now," he pointed out with a grin. That, unlike his lies, was something he had grown very good at faking over the years.
"Is it bad that I find that so hard to believe?" she frowned a little. "When i finally told him I fancied him, I didn't expect any of this. He had never showed that he was ever REALLY interested in me, you know?"
Remus frowned as well. "You... you don't think that he's really interested? But.. th-then why would he ask you out?"
She shrugged. "He acts interested now, I think. I'm just saying he never did. I wanna say the thought of me being anything more than his friend had never crossed his mind before?"
It was just coincidence. The timing of it had nothing to do with anything he had done, not Sirius finding out that he was dating Alice or the kiss. Marle had just happened to tell Sirius how she felt about him around the same time those things had happened. It would be foolish to believe anything else. Right? "I guess so," he nodded.
"Well, I would actually think you might know how he felt. You are one of his best mates. Doesn't he talk about women to you at all?" she chuckled lightly. She was actually scared to know if and what Sirius told them about her.
"A... a bit...." They hadn't exactly been talking a terrible lot the last few days. They weren't avoiding each other... at least, Sirius didn't seem to be specifically avoiding him, but they hadn't been seeking each other out as much either. Remus had been spending most of his time in the library. "I mean... I've been a bit busy the last couple weeks, I haven't really had time for much beyond classwork and prefect duties... so we haven't really... talked about it."
Marle nodded. "Understandable."
Remus smiled. "Though, I do know that he definitely had a great time with you today." That was a good sign, right? For Marle, at least.
"I'm glad. I always worry about what to do or say around him. It's silly." she shook her head at herself.
"I know it sounds silly, but... really? Just be yourself."