Good Morning Who: Adam and Kyle Where: Kyle’s room When: Early
Adam had barely slept. He’d tried. He really had. But the hotel thing was weird. And eventually he had passed out, at first surprised to wake up in the bed. Or the same bed at least. For a long moment he waited to make sure it wasn’t a dream and then he was up again, getting showered properly, putting in his contacts and getting dressed. His things were packed neatly, the way he always had and eventually he found the nicest shirt he had - something in a dark green plaid that he wore over an undershirt and his best pair of jeans. Really, he looked the same as he always did, even with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, but he felt like he looked nice.
The whole process took about fifteen minutes as he rushed through it and then rushing down to Kyle’s room, very aware that it was early. Really early. Yeah he probably needed to wait, but he didn’t want the dream to go away. He was very aware of another fact, the one that Kyle might not want a repeat of what had happened the night before. So all Adam could do was hope as he knocked on Kyle’s door, bouncing on his feet, too eager and nervous to stand still.
Kyle had been asleep, until the knocking. He had sat in his room, sketching and drawing. Abandoning thing half finished and trying to come up with things he was happy with until his room was half covered in paper and he had collapsed in exhaustion in the midst of the bed.
"Minute!" he hollered, sleepily, scrambling off the bed and staggering to the door. Opening it, he leaned against the frame, bleary eyed. "A? Wha' time izit?"
Adam had to bite his lip against that sight. He wanted to grin because it was Kyle and he was still there, plus there was the whole just rolled out of bed look. And did Kyle just call him ‘A’? That was kind of awesome. He looked a little sheepish though despite the checked smile. “Um...early.” He hesitated for a second then reached out to try and smooth part of Kyle’s hair.
"Isevrythng okay? Smthg wrong?" Kyle asked, leaning into the touch without a second thought.
Adam was more than surprised to see Kyle lean into his touch. “Um no. Nothing’s wrong. Just...hi.” Fantastic. Very smooth.
Kyle's expression turned puzzled. "Hi. It's... early," he pointed out.
Adam pulled his hand back with a little wince. “I...I guess it is. I wasn’t...I woke up and you said today and...I can go.” Maybe he should go. He considered stepping back and leaving, but he didn’t really want to leave. Not just yet.
Kyle reached out and grabbed Adam's hands. "Wait. You're here now. I'm awake. I..." He tilted his head and looked at Adam. "Today... have you been... waiting?"
Adam stopped short when Kyle grabbed his hands. “Maybe. I mean...I fell asleep eventually. I woke up here. You’re here. I...yeah.” Which might not go over well. Though Kyle was holding his hands, which had to be a start.
"You woke up here? Did you sleep outside my door?" Kyle asked, before deciding that was ridiculous. "I need coffee," he declared. "Do you think this place does room service? I couldn't find a menu."
Adam shook his head. “I slept in my room.” He wasn’t that ridiculous. Not yet at least. He moved into the room a little and found a stack of cards in the same place his were. “You can fill this out.” It was the room service menu of sorts and Adam had found his the night before.
Kyle followed him into the room, closing the door behind them. "And that's going to get me my morning coffee?" he asked.
Adam looked around until he found a pen and wrote in coffee. “What else do you want? Breakfast?” He shrugged. “I think so. Why have it if it won’t bring it?”
"You woke me up at the crack of dawn. All I want right now is caffeine, and lots of it." He paused, and looked at Adam, lips pursed. "And to find out what kind of apology you're going to give me," he teased, tongue flickering out to mess with his split lip.
Adam wrote down some food too because he was pretty sure Kyle should eat something as well, but kept it light and looked up at Kyle surprised. “Apology?” he asked, surprised and not able to do anything but stare at Kyle’s mouth.
"Uhuh," Kyle confirmed. "I want to know what you're gonna do to make it up to me for waking me..." He smiled a little, knowing what he had in mind, but leaving it up to Adam.
“Oh I...I’m sorry. I didn’t…” He wondered if he should go again. “I could...Oh I have no idea. I’m sorry.” At least there was a smile, but Adam was completely unsure of what the right answer was. He didn’t know Kyle well enough.
Kyle stared at him in disbelief. "...I really haven't had enough coffee for this," he muttered. "Calm down. I'm not mad at you," he said, with a sigh.
Adam realized he was still holding the card and moved around Kyle, opening the door the put it in the box outside Kyle’s room. When he came back he looked embarrassed. “Should be here soon enough,” he said. He shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling ridiculous. “I should have waited. I got excited. I’m sorry.”
Kyle sat down on the edge of the bed. He wasn't entirely sure what to do now. He wasn't exactly what one would call experienced with men. There had been Harry, and there had been a couple of other fumbles. The latter had been at parties, and Harry - well, Harry had pursued him. All he'd ever had to do was put himself out there. Flirting with Adam, however, just didn't seem to work. Unfortunately, Kyle wasn't the type to just launch himself at the other guy. It had taken all he had just to softly kiss him yesterday. "You don't have to be sorry, A. I'm just never good in the morning until I have my caffeine. So maybe, next time, you could come bearing coffee?"
Adam felt a little stupid, but the last part helped. He found himself moving to sit with Kyle. “You’d want me to come back and wake you up again?” he asked.
Kyle looked across at him and decided to try again with the whole flirting thing. "How about every day?" he suggested, biting his bottom lip lightly on the side it wasn't split, and lowering his head to look at Adam through his lashes. Honestly, if that didn't work, he didn't know what he'd do.
And then Adam was with him. Mostly. He felt his cheeks heat up and rubbed at the back of his neck as he nodded. “I could...wouldn’t it be easier to just wake up here?” He was mostly sure that Kyle was flirting, so flirting back made sense. Plus that look was killer.
Kyle's eyes widened and he blushed, deeply. "Yes, that... I... That's... Is..." Kyle stood and started tidying his room, gathering up papers and pencils in a sudden move time distract from the fact that Adam had jumped straight from oblivious to sex and sleeping over with nothing in-between.
Adam wasn’t sure if that was right. Kyle was blushing but then moving and he found himself getting up to help, looking at a few of the pages he picked up. “I don’t have to...or not at all. Just...coffee next time. Got it.” He looked at the pages and realized just how many there were. “You were busy.”
Kyle swallowed and turned back to him. "It's not that I don't want to. Just... eventually. Is that - is that okay?" he asked, his tone a little nervous, as if he half expected Adam to tell him that wasn't acceptable. He fiddled with the pages in his hands. "I... You suggested I practice. So I... did." Little of it was actually finished, and most were landscapes and abstract patterns. Trials of shapes and colours and ideas. Some reds and yellows that gave the feeling of movement. Some blues that seemed almost to be mist running across a bay in the early morning light. The suggestion of flight. Nothing that really had true form.
“You know that eventually means you have to see me again right?” he asked, not sure if that part was clear. No one wanted to see him again. Not like that. He flipped through the drawings again, grabbing more. “These are cool. Different, but cool.”
Kyle frowned. He seemed to be doing that a lot this morning. "I... What do you mean, I'll have to see you again 'eventually'?" he asked. He thought he'd already said that he wanted to see Adam every day. Was that not going to fly, just because he wasn't ready to sleep with the man? That thought left him a little cold and more than a little uncertain and that showed in his posture as he fiddled more with the papers. He knew he should reply to Adam's comments on his work, but right now he wasn't sure what to say.
Adam looked up from the drawings surprised. Why didn't that make sense? For a moment he thought about how to answer so it was more clear. "No one's ever wanted to see me again. I was pretty sure and terrified you were gonna say that when I got to the door today. I'm fine with whatever you want. Just amazed you want to see me again. Or...anything else with me again." All the others had left right after hooking up with him and no matter what they said they never came back.
Kyle felt a wave of relief as he realised that it was pretty much the exact opposite of what he'd been worrying about. He put the papers and his gathered pencils down on the table by the window and headed back over to Adam. Putting a hand on Adam's upper arm, he said, "I want to see you again. I'm pretty sure I already said I want to see you every day. While we're here, at least. I just... I'm not ready to have you... stay over. Not yet. That's... eventually?" He fought a blush throughout the whole thing, feeling awkward and self-conscious, but determined round make things clear.
Adam watched Kyle, feeling more than a little relieved at what he said. "I want to see you every day too," he admitted, reaching to try and tame Kyle's hair again. "Whatever works for you. I've never been an 'eventually' so that's new. It's not like I'm gonna know what to do anyway, so maybe it's best to wait or whatever." Assuming they were talking about sex. Adam could figure out just staying over, but the sex part would be new.
Kyle nodded. "Okay, we can maybe take things slowly." He blushed a little, wondering how much of a mess his hair was in, given the way Adam was trying to straighten it out. He enjoyed the touch too much to ask though. "I can't promise to be much of a teacher though," he warned.
Adam was baffled at the prospect of the fact that someone wanted to go slow with him. It sounded like a real thing and not a hook up at a party. Adam really just liked touching Kyle, not really caring what his hair looked like. “I’m sure you’ll be great,” he said with a smile, leaning in closer.
Kyle responded in kind, leaning in toward Adam, entering his personal space. He need Adam's eyes, maintaining that contact and not looking away.
Adam thought about what came next, not sure how to broach it, but it was all he was thinking about. If Kyle wasn’t watching his eyes, he would have been watching Kyle’s mouth again, but instead he just watched the blue staring back at him. “I…” He thought at first he might ask if he could, but the words fell dead on his tongue. So instead he just went for it, closing the last of the space and kissing Kyle lightly, giving the other man plenty of room to pull back if that wasn’t what he wanted.
Kyle deepened the kiss, sliding his arm down Adam's spine and resting it against the small of his back. Stroking softly, he rucked the hem of Adam's shirt up, until he could touch Adam's skin with the tips of his fingers, warm and soft beneath him. He broke the kiss naturally, resting his forehead against Adam's. His eyes were darkened and his voice rough as he said, "Apology accepted," he a breathless voice, the smile evident in his tone.
Adam shivered at Kyle's touches. No one had ever really touched him like that before. And then Kyle’s voice and that look, that was what this was supposed to be like wasn’t it? Did Adam really do that to him? He almost laughed shaking his head slowly, but not pulling it away. “That was what you were after,” he said, feeling silly for missing it.
"That's what I was after," Kyle confirmed, with a little kiss. "Kisses make great apologies," he explained. "As do flowers and chocolates - and ordering a guy room service," he added, jokingly.
He had a lot to learn didn’t he? Adam wasn’t use to the prolonged parts of being with someone. “Chocolates, flowers and kisses. And coffee.” Adam took both of Kyle’s cheeks in his hands and pulled him in for another kiss.
"Always coffee," Kyle agreed once the kiss ended. "Lesson one about me: I am an incurable caffeine addict. Horrible and awful without my fix. Strong and black, no sugar. A sprinkling of cinnamon for choice, but I can go without."
Adam laughed lightly and nodded. “Got it. Though I knew how you took your coffee.” He moved a little, his hands still on Kyle, but trailing down his arms to sit on the bed, looking up at Kyle.
Kyle laughed and ducked his head. "Yeah, course you did," he said, laughing a little.
“It’s what happens when I serve you coffee,” Adam said with a laugh and pulled Kyle closer. “What comes next?” He wanted what came next, whatever it might be.
Kyle curled up into Adam's side, pulling his legs up onto the bed and resting his head on Adam's shoulder. "What comes next?" he mused. "I don't know? What do you want to come next? Though, it really should involve coffee. And maybe breakfast. And maybe trying to figure out where we are." Since they still hadn't solved that particular puzzle.
Adam was truly amazed that he had Kyle curled up against him like that. Things like this didn’t happen to him. “More of you,” he said with a small smile. “And food and coffee sure. And...I have no idea where we are. Or how we get home.”
Kyle knew he should be more worried about the fact he didn't know where he was, or how they could leave. After spending so much time yesterday thinking he was dreaming or going crazy, he had managed to come to terms with the fact that he was neither overnight. This was real, and this was happening. The result had surprised him - he was in no hurry to go anywhere. He suspected that was because he had nowhere to go. Nowhere he wanted to be, anyway. Leaving here would mean facing the harsh reality of his failed relationship. His failed career. His failed life. Out there, in the world, everything was a mess. Here, the worst thing that there was was the lack of coffee. He was safe and comfortable. There was a guy who liked him. He could play with art that made him feel good and which he didn't need to show to anyone, so there wasn't that pressure to perform. It was a secret, hidden, protected world. It suited him and in the meantime, he could make all the right noises about trying to find a way home, without actually trying too hard to achieve that. "More of me?" he asked Adam, tilting his head to look up at him. His tone was light and teasing, with an edge of innocent enquiry, as if he couldn't possibly know what Adam was talking about. The 'innocent' card had always played particularly well for him in the past.
Adam wasn’t in a rush either. He was too used to changing places. It hadn’t changed in years, but his mind, his body, all of it still reacted as if it was happening every six months or less. So he held on to the parts that were good. Kyle, looking up at him like that, teasing and making his stomach flip a little. It was amazing. The idea of a guy being as tempting as this one was to him was different, but at the same time, Adam didn’t care. So he liked guys. Or this guy. Whatever it was, it wasn’t unheard of. He nodded, smiling. “More of you. Lots more.”
Kyle pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, still maintaining eye contact, despite the niggling question. He had learnt, though, that with Adam, it didn’t pay to assume anything. Kyle knew he just wasn’t good enough at reading the guy, and he certainly didn’t know him well enough to have any clue what he might actually be thinking. “More like… Spending time with me more? Or more like…” He gestured down his body. “More?” He took a breath and added, “And, if it’s that second one - is it going to be a problem that I… Want to take things slow?” It took a lot for him to ask that. It was more Kyle’s style to shut up when he was involved with someone and just take each hurdle as he came to it. Which usually meant his allowing himself to be pushed into something he wouldn’t otherwise have done. But that all stemmed from Harry and Kyle knew that his relationship with Harry was not a good example to take. He was trying to break his habits. Which meant asking the hard questions and risking not liking the answers.
Adam felt a little stuck but he wound up nodding slightly. “Both I guess. And of course it’s not a problem. Why would it be a problem? Would it be a problem if I wanted to? No, probably not. You said that part about going slow already.” He was confused about why that would be an issue.
Kyle drew back a little, though he didn’t stop touching Adam. “I’m… I don’t have the best experiences in what I say being the same as how things go. So, I kind of need to be sure. It’s - it’s not you. Okay? I just - for my head, I need to be sure that I’m not misinterpreting things. Because… It could be a problem. If you wanted more and faster than I could deal with, then one of us would be ending up not getting what they wanted.” He looked down a little. “And, in the past, that’s been me. Just… having to deal with it. I’m… not good at saying ‘no’.” Which, after he said it, Kyle realised he probably shouldn’t have told Adam. That was the kind of thing that could be used against him. Though, he wanted to believe that Adam would never do that.
Adam listened to Kyle, frowning a little before reaching for his cheek. “I wouldn’t ever make you do something that you don’t want to. And it’s not me not getting what I want. Just not right then. And I don’t care. If you’re happy, then I’m happy.”
There was that line again. “But - what if you’re not happy?” Kyle questioned. “What if what I want isn’t what you want?” He took another breath and answered that question himself before Adam had a chance to. “Then we talk about it, right? If you want something different to me, then we discuss it. Because I need to know what you want as well.”
“I’m not unhappy,” Adam said. “But yeah, we talk about it. If I’m unhappy, we’ll talk about it. It’s compromise right? That’s what we have to do.” Jeffrey had said that himself, usually when Adam wanted something differently and had to give it up, but that wasn’t a bad thing. Things always got smoothed over afterward.
Kyle twisted so he was sitting on the bed side on to Adam, one leg under himself. He reached to take Adam’s hands. “Can I ask you a question? How much do things in your life actually go your way? Honest question - it’s just that it sounds like you kinda just fit in with what other people want and I just wondered… How often do you get like your first choice on things. What you want. Not just what you want because it’s what everyone else wants too.”
Adam half pulled his hands away, not sure how to answer that question. “I’m fine,” he insisted. “Things go fine. I don’t want a lot. I don’t need a lot. I get a choice on some things.”
Kyle leaned forward and kissed him, not letting go of his hands. “I’m not asking if you’re fine,” he said, as he pulled back a little. “I’m not asking what you need. I just want to know how often you actually get your choice.” He paused, then added, “I want to know if you’re like me.”
Adam frowned, looking at Kyle curiously. “Like you? Like you how?”
“Like I want to make people I care about happy. Like I’ll put them first. Like I’ll talk myself out of things that I wanted, because I don’t want to let him down,” Kyle said.
Adam pulled his hands away and looked away. “So what if I do?” he asked feeling defensive about it. “So what? I like making people happy.” It was like with the girl, saying that he should make his own decisions. It wasn’t cool.
Kyle seemed to shrink in his posture as Adam pulled away. “Nevermind,” he said, quietly, drawing his hands back into his lap and glancing toward the door, wishing that their room service would arrive so that he didn’t have to deal with this situation. There was nothing. He looked back, eyes in his lap. “It doesn’t matter.”
Almost instantly Adam felt awful. “No, not it’s fine. Maybe. Yeah. I’m sorry.” He reached for Kyle and squeezed his arm. “I’m sorry.”
Kyle shook his head. He wasn’t going to pursue it if every time he tried to broach the subject Adam got prickly and defensive. “It’s okay,” he said, still with the same inward facing posture. He took a breath and straightened up, mentally shaking it all off. He schooled himself and gave Adam a smile that almost but didn’t quite meet his eyes.
“It’s not okay,” Adam said, not liking the way that Kyle’s smile didn’t go to his eyes. “You asked for a reason and I got all twitchy and now you’re...now you’re faking it.”
“I’m not going to make you talk about something that makes you upset when I bring it up,” Kyle pointed out. “You get all defensive and tense and you’re not happy. So, I’m letting it go.”
“No, it’s fine. I just get...like you said. Defensive.” He looked at his hands then him. “It’s… He was all I had.” Already in the past tense. Adam was so sure that he’d lost his friend. “You don’t have to let it go.”
“Would he have gone away? If you hadn’t… Y’know?” Kyle asked, tentatively. He wasn’t entirely sure whether Adam was really okay with him asking.
“I don’t know,” he said softly. “Maybe. He got so mad at people sometimes. I thought...I thought it would be easier if he wasn’t ever mad at me. Not that he would be. I don’t think. I mean, I was his best friend. But I don’t know.”
That was hard to hear, and Kyle wanted to react much the same way that Adam had the day before when he saw Kyle’s bruises. Yet, he didn’t dare - not with how defensive Adam had already gotten. So, Kyle forced himself to keep his feelings to himself, nothing showed on his face. It was like being at one of his parent’s parties, where personal opinions were very much something one kept to oneself. “That must have been hard at times. The not knowing,” he said, evenly.
Adam heard it though, in Kyle’s tone. “It was only hard if he was feeling crazy,” he said trying to sweep it away, but still talk about it so Kyle would stop being all fake on him.
Concern flickered across Kyle’s face before he managed to smooth it out of his expression. Crazy didn’t sound good. “Crazy?” he asked, swallowing the feeling which had appeared in his throat.
“Crazy,” Adam confirmed with a nod. “You’re doing that plastic thing, where your face goes blank.” He sighed and shook his head. “It’s fine. Promise.”
“You keep saying that. That it’s fine? And then when you let me dig deeper, you start talking about anger problems and mental illness. So, ‘cuse me if I withhold judgement on that whole ‘fine’ thing, okay?” Kyle checked, not that he was giving Adam an option there. “And this is… my non-judgy face. Where you don’t need my opinions getting in the way of what you’re saying.” Since Adam clearly had an issue with just brushing everything away if he thought Kyle didn’t like it.
“He hasn’t lashed out on me and he hasn’t gotten us arrested. I don’t see how it’s all that bad. It’s fine. I’m fine.” Just scared a lot. And worried that one of these times they wouldn’t get away with things. “I don’t like your non-judgy face.” Adam sighed and ran his hands through his hair, making it stand up more.
Kyle dropped the expression and actually let his feelings out. He was worried, and a little scared for his friend that ‘never got us arrested’ was at the top of the list of friendship. His gaze tracked Adam’s face, searching for something as he chewed at the cut on his lip nervously. “That’s not a very high bar,” he pointed out.
Adam didn’t like that face much better. “Stop. I promise you don’t worry about me. Hell, he might not even want to be around me once I’m back. I might have been gone too long.” Adam shrugged. “That’s not the bar. That’s just when it’s bad.”
“You’ve been gone a day, A. That’s not even long enough to file a missing person’s report. Not the kind of timescale that you dump a friend over. Especially not a best friend. I doubt you have anything to worry about.” And if he did, Kyle figured that a friend like that wasn’t worth having.
“I know. I know. I just...I don’t want him to think that I blew him off.” The last thing Adam needed was Jeffrey getting upset because he’d gone missing. “I’m sure I don’t. I just don’t know what to do otherwise.”
Kyle wasn’t sure what to make of this whole thing. The relationship between Adam and his friend didn’t seem to fit comfortably. It made Kyle a little uneasy. But, he wasn’t going to put it like that to Adam, who clearly didn’t see it that way. Instead, he took Adam’s hand, giving it a little squeeze. “Well, maybe when we get out of here, you can introduce us,” he said, giving Adam a little smile.
Adam looked at Kyle, holding his hand tightly. “Totally. I mean...he might be weird about this because...you know you’re a guy but I think it’ll be fine.” There had been teasing about Adam being gay before, but it never came from Jeffrey really. His friend just acted like it was standard banter.
Kyle took a breath, pausing before asking, “What if he’s not? Okay about this, I mean?” Maybe that question was unfair. Kyle wasn’t usually someone who made people choose between him and their friends, but he still felt like something was off. Still, he felt guilty for the question. He really wasn’t being fair in his own opinion.
Adam blinked a few times and then shook his head. “I don’t know. I mean...he’d have to be. It’s me.” Wouldn’t that be enough? Adam hoped so. “Otherwise I don’t know what I’d do.”
"Let's hope we never have to find out," Kyle said, deciding that was enough pushing for today.
Adam looked at their hands and then at Kyle. “I don’t want to lose you. No matter what. I...I don’t like losing people.” He leaned in and kissed Kyle tentatively, still not sure if that was okay. If he could just kiss him because he wanted to, but it was worth trying.
Kyle was just fine with being kissed and he returned it with enthusiasm, finishing off with a smattering of smaller kisses. "I will never make you choose," he promised, between kisses.
The kisses were nice, the kind of attention that Adam wanted and it made things easier. “I wouldn’t know how to. Even if you wanted me to.” He let his fingers drift into Kyle’s hair, pulling him closer. It was a real thing. Kyle wanted this. He wanted to be with Adam. How could Adam give that up?
Kyle shuffled closer, resting a little awkwardly against Adam before deciding this was silly. He shifted further onto the bed a lay down, tugging at Adam to come lie with him. "It wouldn't be fair for me to ask you to choose between me and your best friend." And right now, Kyle figured Adam would choose Jeffrey. That, however, was something Kyle was intending to change. Just in case Jeffrey ever asked Adam to choose. If that ever happened, Kyle didn't intend to be left the lonely one. First step in that was letting Adam know in no uncertain terms that he, Kyle would never stoop to such a clearly unreasonable request. Goal one of setting himself up as the good guy achieved and cemented with kisses.
Adam went with Kyle, sliding to lay back one hand already reaching for Kyle. "It'll be fine. Maybe it just all makes sense now that I couldn't find a girl that wanted to be with me. He'll see that."
"Good," Kyle said, reaching across to cup Adam's face. "Though I still hold that all the girls you knew must have been crazy."
Adam felt his cheeks warm up, but he leaned into Kyle's touch. "I don't think so. I'm not all that exciting."
"Exciting is overrated - and not what everyone looks for in a guy," Kyle pointed out, brushing his thumb across Adam's cheek. "I like your freckles - or are they moles? I never did get what the difference was," he mused as he did so.
"Freckles probably," Adam said, shaking his head and clearly surprised that Kyle would like such a thing. "I think moles are hairier." He smirked lightly and let his hand drift somewhere near Kyle's hip. "What do you look for then?"
"Well, they're very cute freckles," Kyle said, tracing them like a very simple dot-to-dot. "What do I look for in a guy? Hmm - I want someone sweet, and kind. But not a total pushover. Someone strong. Someone who makes me laugh, and makes me feel good about myself. Someone who makes me feel safe." He paused and grinned. "Oh, and he's got to be hot. Because I'm shallow enough to admit that looks count," he teased.
Kyle's touches were sending little shivers down Adam's spine, not at all sure why he was doing it, but not wanting Kyle to stop. He was going to get sucked into those kind of touches wasn't he? Not that he cared all that much. Kyle could just drag him down into whatever he wanted. His fingers twisted a little in the other man's shirt, making a face. "Why are you here then? Because I'm like...two of those things. And not hot."
Kyle stopped himself immediately decrying that statement and instead said, "Out of curiosity, which two do you think you are? Not that I'm agreeing with you about any of it. But I was wondering..."
"You already said I make you feel good about yourself, which is what I want, so that." Adam was sure about that much. "And probably the kind part. Maybe. The rest...I guess I'm not a pushover. Not much at least. No one wants to be a pushover..."
"They don't," Kyle agreed. "I think you're sweet - that kind of goes with the territory of making me feel good about myself for me. You'd have to be sweet to do that. And you do make me laugh..." He hesitated, to see what Adam would do.
"Sometimes," Adam said, shaking his head. "And sometimes I upset you or I make you feel bad without meaning to."
"Yeah - that's why I never list 'perfect' against what I look for in a guy. Everyone does that, y'know? Makes people upset without meaning to. It's the guys that make me upset on purpose that I really try and avoid," he joked, refusing to let Adam run himself down. He really needed to stop doing that.
"Well I'd hope you would avoid them," Adam said, though he heard the joke in Kyle's voice. "You really think I'm all those things?"
“And hot too,” Kyle teased, giving him a sly smile before leaning in to kiss him, slow but deep, trying to kiss him in a way they hadn’t kissed before.
Adam had a mind to protest, but then Kyle was kissing him and he let it slide for the moment. The kiss was heated, more than anything before and Adam couldn't stop himself from winding his fingers into Kyle's hair to hold him closer, answering the kiss with his own slow heat.
Kyle knew that, lying here with Adam, like this, he had to make sure that they didn’t get carried away. He was determined to keep control of himself and the situation. Not his normal way of dealing, since usually he would just get caught up in the flow and let things go wherever they would. Usually, though, he would then have to deal with the aftermath - which generally mean leaping from one problem to another, praying each time that things would get better. He had to break out of that. He had to be careful - because kissing Adam like this was nice. Really, really nice. Kicking up all kinds of warm feelings nice. It made him want to crawl inside him - just get closer and closer.
Adam was having trouble not getting caught up in things himself. Or the urge he was following through on to roll them so Kyle was under him. He was far too distracted by the kiss, by the way Kyle felt so warm and real and that Kyle wanted him and not just someone. It was unheard of in his mind and he didn't want to lose it for a second.
Kyle shifted his hand to rest against Adam’s shoulder, keeping them both on their sides and with their hips firmly apart. He knew if either changed, his will would crumble and it would be all over.
Adam was surprised at the pressure on his shoulder, but went with it, letting himself be put back where he was and kept in one place. That made sense if he thought about it. Plus, it wasn't like he'd know what to do if they changed positions. This was probably safer to avoid embarrassment. Still, part of him felt bad for needing to be put back in his place.
Kyle dragged himself away, pulling back and scooting away to the other side of the bed. “I… Just… Need a minute,” he said, his voice uneven.
When Kyle moved fear shot through Adam and he found himself sitting up and staring at Kyle. "Did I do something wrong?" Kyle didn't sound upset, but he sounded something that wasn't okay and Adam was sure he'd done something stupid.
Kyle laughed. “Wrong? God, no. I just…” He pulled himself into a sitting position, his legs drawn up to his chest. “You… I could get lost in you,” he said, knowing that probably meant more to him than it would to Adam.
Adam considered that answer, drawing circles on the sheets under him with one finger. "So that's bad then, getting lost in me?"
“I was lost in Harry,” Kyle told him, figuring that was probably the best way to describe something he didn’t really have words for.
Adam nodded. "So bad." He didn't want that for Kyle and instantly was trying to think of ways he could be different. Thankfully a knock on the door saved him and gave him something to do that wasn't staring at Kyle wishing things were different. "Probably breakfast," he said, getting up to check, pleased to find the tray and not a person on the other side of the door.
“Do you have my coffee?” Kyle asked, glad for the distraction as much as he was glad for the actual steamy beverage itself.
Adam rolled his eyes with a smile before bringing the tray in and setting it on the desk. "Yes. Definitely have your coffee." And a full breakfast to go with it. Adam poured Kyle a cup of coffee then grabbed the orange juice for himself and the small plate of toast and fruit, bringing all of it to the bed with him.
Kyle gratefully took the cup from Adam. Holding it in one hand as he grabbed a piece of dry toast to go with it. “Oh, wonderful, miraculous, caffeine,” he said, taking a sip. “Sometime soon, I might actually turn human…”
"You seem pretty human now," Adam said as he sat back to eat his own toast and sip at the juice. "Or was I just making out with an alien?"
Kyle gave him a look over the rim of his mug. “Would you be able to tell the difference?” he asked, smiling a little.
Adam slowed mid bite of his toast and raised an eyebrow. "I'd like to think so yeah," he said. "Or I was hooking up with blow up dolls and never realized it." “...In which case, I really don’t want to know,” Kyle said with a little laugh. “I’m okay - I’m just… Sometimes I don’t feel human until I have coffee. Clearly, today isn’t one of those days. Which I think is pretty much your fault.”
"I'm hearing that as I could replace coffee," Adam said with a smile. "But I get it. I feel that way about being drunk or stoned sometimes." Which was a different way of looking at things, but sometimes it was the only time he felt alive because he could feel himself there, inside himself.
Kyle pursed his lips. “I’m saying that right now, you could replace coffee, but that’s pretty much because you are really distracting. I know you don’t make me feel drunk, or stoned.”
"You're distracting too. Obviously considering I barely slept." Adam smiled a little. "And I never said you made me feel drunk or stoned. Though I could see that. Drunk on you kind of thing."
Kyle gave a surprised little smile at that, pillowing his head on his arm. “Did you really not sleep?” he asked, clearly not having considered that might be the case, and intrigued by it. He wouldn’t go as far as to say he was pleased by the idea, but he didn’t think he’d ever distracted someone enough that they didn’t sleep, and he couldn’t deny that the idea was kind of intriguing.
Adam shrugged. "I passed out eventually. But no, I didn't sleep much. Just a little here and there." He knew that might be too much, but he wasn't much of a liar.
Kyle grinned, then buried his head in his knees, before raising his eyes enough to peek at him. “Seriously?” he asked, feeling like a dam teenaged girl. He knew that really shouldn’t get to him that much, yet it so did.
Damn that whole thing was adorable. "Yes seriously. Don't be laughing at me," Adam said with as stern as he could muster when Kyle was being completely adorable. "I won't lie to you."
“I’m not laughing at you,” Kyle said with a little shrug, “I just… I don’t know.” He pulled an entertained face and then made a show of schooling his expression into something more serious. “I know, I know - I shouldn't be kind of taken with the idea that some guy couldn’t sleep over me. That’s not exactly healthy, right?”
Adam shook his head. "No it's fine. It's normal. I'm pretty sure I'm not the first guy to lose sleep over you. Probably been a misguided girl or two in there as well." He smiled a little, relieved Kyle wasn't laughing at him.
Kyle gave him a confused look. “...Really? I - There really haven’t been many guys in my life,” he said, wondering if Adam thought differently.
"No?" That surprised Adam, but he moved past it. "Still. I'm sure you've had some effect on plenty of people. Look at you. It's impossible."
“Harry’s been my only real boyfriend,” Kyle admitted. “I kind of - there’s been a couple of guys at parties, but…” He blushed and ducked his head. “I don’t… I don’t think I have all that you think I have. I mean - look at me? There’s not that much to look at.” At least Adam had something to him. Definable muscles and a tan. Kyle didn’t have that much. He was slim, toned, but that was the best that he could come up with. Plus, he looked like he hadn’t seen the light of day for months. Vampires had more colour than he had.
"Yeah well all I've had is a couple of chicks at parties," Adam said with a shrug. "You don't see it? I don't even notice that and I noticed it with you. There's plenty to look at. I like what I see. I know I'm not the first."
Kyle shrugged. “I know I’m not ugly, I just don’t think I’m all that either. I mean, I know… I can attract guys, I just - It’s different, y’know. No - you probably don’t.”
"Most of that wasn't a full sentence," Adam pointed out before continuing. "But you are. Your eyes are incredible. And you're just...I don't know. There's something about you." Kyle gave him a look. “Sue me - you kill my ability to form entire sentences,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I just - I just get this feeling like you think that I’m like this guy who’s had all these other guys and I’m so not. I’m this 20 year old guy who’s been in one relationship since he was eighteen and before then didn’t really even date.”
"I wasn't saying you were in a ton of relationships, just...that I'm sure people are drawn to you. How could they not be?"
Kyle laughed, not understanding what Adam was saying. “Why would they be?” he asked, really wondering that. He didn’t think he was any kind of special.
"I am aren't I?" Adam asked.
“Well, yes - but I’m drawn to you, and you don’t seem to be able to understand that, so why do you get a monopoly on confused?” Kyle asked, giving him a tight little smile, which stopped just short of a smirk.
Adam answered it with a little bit of a look. "Okay fair. But I think you're...whatever the right word for it is. And hot. So you know, it's hard to just sit here and talk to you when I could kiss you."
Kyle’s smile widened a little. “You know, a guy could think you only want him for his body,” he teased.
Adam shrugged. "He could. He'd be wrong." He smiled and leaned closer to steal a small kiss, feeling more confident with that. Like it was okay to just do it.
Kyle was more than okay with the kiss, smiling into it. “Yeah - what would be right then?” he asked as he drew back.
"That I want all of you." Adam smiled, surprised at his easy it was to say. Normally he'd struggle with that but at the same time he really wasn't letting himself think too much. He was just speaking and the truth came out.
There was more of a smile at that. "But you don't know all of me," he pointed out, barely able to conceal his happiness with the way this was going, or the fact that his questions were really just a way of encouraging the whole thing.
"So? I like what I know." Adam shrugged. He was easy to please like that. "And I can learn the rest."
Kyle wasn’t entirely sure what to say to that, so he took a sip of his coffee and then another bite of toast. “What do you want to know?” he asked, after a few minutes.
Everything was the simple answer, but Adam was pretty sure that wasn’t the right answer. “What are your favorite things, movies, songs, artists, whatever?”
Kyle laughed at that. "Wow, talk about a wide open question. Okay... Movie - How to Marry a Millionaire. It's a classic and Lauren Bacall is a goddess. Songs - that really depends on my mood. Artist - that's a conversation in itself, and given that yesterday you didn't know who Vermeer was, you'd probably look at me blankly anyhow. How about, when we get out of here, I take you round a few galleries and I show you what I like instead?"
Adam thought about the movie and nodded. “I remember that one. More a Casablanca guy.” His smiled faded a little at the Vermeer comment but he liked the suggestion. “Okay, so you take me out when we get back. Drag me to art galleries. I think I can do that.” Not that he knew the first thing about art galleries, but he could learn.
"Oh, I love Casablanca," Kyle enthused. "Really, I love all of the classics. You can really lose yourself in a different time. Until the credits roll and your back to reality again," get added, taking another sip of his coffee. He was clearly happy at the idea that Adam would allow him to drag him round galleries.
“Well, I guess I never thought of that. I just like the simplicity. It’s the story. That’s all. No explosions and whatever. Though those are fun too. I guess...that wasn’t a bad time in my life. That’s what it reminds me of. Never thought about the coming back from reality part.” Adam reached out for Kyle’s hand, squeezing it lightly.
“I’ve never been much into movies where the main focus is explosions. I like actual plot and characterisations. I can do without the special effects and loud noises,” Kyle admitted, squeezing Adam’s hand back.
“Well when you kind of want to turn your brain off, there’s nothing better than a good blow ‘um up movie.” Adam finished off his juice then shifted closer. “Though maybe you’re not the type to turn your brain off.”
Kyle chuckled a little at that. “No - I’m not very good at turning my brain off,” he acknowledged. “I tend to think too much, and too much of the time.”
“Lucky for you then I’m an expert at turning my mine off. Or ...well getting stoned and forcing it to turn off.” Adam supposed that was how he had dealt with things when they got scary or lonely or whatever variety of emotions he didn’t want to deal with at the time.
Kyle’s laugh trailed off. “Yeah - yeah, I used to do that,” he said, slightly more quietly. “I, er - I’m not going to anymore.” That was another step for him, deciding that for himself and sticking to it. Drugs were off the table, had been since Nelson’s death.
“Good for you,” Adam said. “I should stop.” He knew he should stop. He’d thought about it, but for the longest time it was just there, readily available. “Maybe I will. Depends on how long we’re stuck here right?”
Kyle nodded. “You should stop. I know I can’t tell you what to do or anything, but - my friend died a few weeks ago. ODed. I… you should stop.”
That caught Adam’s attention and he was looking up, sadness creeping across his face. “I’m sorry about that. Seen it, well heard of it happening. No one I really knew. Didn’t use that much, just at parties and hanging out and shit, but yeah...damn.” Adam stretched out on the bed near Kyle, laying on his back and looking up at the ceiling. “Guess I really should.” He might have his issues with everything but he liked living that much he was sure of.
“Can you stop?” Kyle asked. Sure, Adam had said he didn’t use much, that it was just parties, but he knew some addicts tended to downplay their addiction. He didn’t want to assume one way or the other about Adam.
Adam shrugged. “I guess. I haven’t really tried before.” He supposed he shouldn’t have too much of an issue, since it was just a recreational thing, but what did he know. “I’m not like...jonesing for something right now and it’s a been a couple of days.” Sure he had that twitch, where he sometimes just couldn’t sit still, but it wasn’t an urge per se.
Kyle tugged at Adam's hand, drawing him closer. "Let's see what happens," he suggested. Whatever it was, he knew he intended to be there with Adam. To push that point home, he kissed Adam, once again.
Adam had a guess of what would happen, he’d be twitchy and annoyed, but he went for the kiss, answering it happily, one hand wrapping around back of Kyle’s neck to keep him there.
Kyle deepened the kiss, going with it. There were other things. Things he knew his mind were would go over. Matters to overcomplicate. It was, afterall, what he did. Just, not right now. Right now, he was kissing a hot guy.
Adam probably had his own set of things he could wonder about. Like how easily it was to fall into a guy when he didn’t even realized he could but when Kyle deepened the kiss like that, Adam let it all fall away. What mattered was his mouth against Kyle’s, tongue against his, and trying to touch more of Kyle, pulling at his shirt to get him closer.
And Kyle went, practically crawling into Adam when he was encouraged closer. Wrapping his arms around the other man. This was the one way he could switch his brain off, and he was taking it. He wanted to take it. It felt so good to take it.
That was exactly what Adam wanted, his own arms hands, everything, tangling with Kyle’s. When was the last time someone had been that close? Really close? Even his hook ups weren’t this intimate and all he was doing was kissing Kyle.
Kyle rolled them so that Adam was on top of him, pulling him down closer, never breaking the kiss. He hooked his feet round the back of Adam’s thighs, one hand slipping up the back of Adam’s shirt.
Adam moved with Kyle, but that was definitely different and far more heated than anything they'd done so far. It was impossible for his hips not to press up against Kyle with the hold Kyle had one his legs, but Adam didn't mind because honestly it felt pretty damn good. One hand stayed tangled in Kyle's hair, Adam using his elbow to kept himself somewhat propped up, but his other hand was on Kyle's hip, tracing it with his fingers.
Kyle arched up into Adam with a moan, losing himself in the feelings, allowing himself to drift, to let go. It even worked, for a moment or two, before his brain rebelled and kicked in again. He broke the kiss and tapped Adam on the back. “Baby, wait. Wait,” he said, breathlessly.
That moan. That alone almost did Adam in to push past everything and see if he could get it again. He'd never really made someone moan like that. Not really at least. It always seemed forced. But then Kyle was stopping things and automatically, Adam pulled back, pushing up more on his arms to keep himself over Kyle, but lessening the contact between them. "What's wrong?"
“Sorry. Sorry. Just… Slow, right?” Kyle said. He hated himself as he said it. He knew it was the right thing to do, but what he wanted to do was just drag Adam back down on top of him and entirely let go.
"Slow. Right. This isn't slow." Which Adam supposed made sense. He'd just been thinking it was more heated, but he had no idea what came after this so he wasn't sure entirely and he was taking Kyle's word for it. "So...I'll move," he said after a moment and began to shift off of Kyle.
Kyle lay back on the bed, closing his eyes and letting Adam move. “It’s… I just… I was going to get carried away. I’m trying to be good.”
Adam shifted until he was laying back, shoulder against Kyle's. "I'm not upset. Though...I wasn't sure what came next anyway so it's for the best we keep me from making a fool of myself just yet." He smiled a little, showing that he wasn't mad or anything at all. Yes, he wanted to keep doing that, same as Kyle seemed to, but Kyle wasn't comfortable and that mattered more.
Kyle kept to himself the thought that he was pretty certain that Adam would have proven a very fast learner. That was hardly on the path to calming things down. He did, however, say, “I doubt very much you’d make a fool of yourself.” He hated it when Adam put himself down like that. He took a deep breath and sat up, leaning against the pillows.
Adam stayed where he was looking up at Kyle. "Not even if I had no idea what I was doing?"
Kyle drew his legs up loosely in front of him, resting his arms on them. “Instinct is a wonderful thing.” He paused, then added, “So, what do you figure to do for fun in a hotel you can’t leave?” "Instinct. Right." Adam sure as hell hoped he had some. Kyle might not have been with a lot of guys, but he was with the same one for a long time. Harry would have known what to do and odds were Adam was going to wind up accidentally hurting himself. He screwed his eyes up at Kyle then laughed, not able to answer just that moment.
“Hey!” Kyle said, grabbing one of the spare pillows and tossing it at Adam’s head. “You’re laughing at me! I was serious! I mean, it’s not like I can ask you out on a date or anything. And I think we’re kinda proving that hanging out in our rooms is just meaning that one thing leads to a whole host of other things…”
The pillow bounced off Adam's face which just made him giggle more. He eventually rolled over on the pillow, looking up at Kyle. "It's funny because the obvious answer is sex." His smile shifted though to something softer. "You wanna ask me out on a date?"
Kyle rolled his eyes. “Context, Adam. Context. The obvious answer is not sex if the question comes right on the heels of a whole ‘hey, we shouldn’t have sex right now’. And yes - I want to ask you out on a date. I want to do this properly.” He wanted this not to be about clinging onto something because everything else had crashed and burned, because there were moments when he worried that that was what this was.
Adam reached out and poked Kyle's side. "Which is why it's funny." He smiled again and shrugged. "There's a bar and a ballroom downstairs. We can have a pretend date." Not that Adam had ever been on one, but he could guess.
Kyle twitched as he was poked, clearly ticklish. He batted Adam’s hand away. “Cut it out, or I might change my mind about asking you out,” he teased.
Adam pouted a little because he caught the tease, but the threat was enough for him to obviously pull his hands away and tuck them under the pillow he was laying on.
Kyle grinned in triumph at the little victory. “Tonight - say, seven? Meet me in the bar?” he suggested.
Adam pretended to consider it then nodded. "Yeah, I'll be there." A date. A real date. He was still amazed that Kyle wanted to see him today, but now Kyle was thinking about actually being seen with him, going out together. It was surprising and exciting all rolled into one.
The triumphant grin morphed into a pleased and excited little smile. “Great. Good. Great. I mean… No - that’s actually exactly what I mean. Great.”
Adam smiled back, one eyebrow raised until Kyle landed on great. Then Adam's smile faded to confusion. "That means I'm supposed to leave huh?"
"I'm not kicking you out," Kyle clarified. "But I think maybe it'd be a good idea? I mean, if you stay here all day, then it becomes less 'date' and more 'moving location', which kinda takes some of mystique out of the whole thing, really. And anyway, if it ends up going like that then I'm not going to be able to spend most of the afternoon fretting over my hair and trying to figure out which of my now clearly very limited number of outfits you'd like the best," he teased.
Adam got it. It would be more fun to see him again, but he wound up leaning up to kiss Kyle lightly. "Bad news, I like your hair like this and I wasted my best clothes on right now." He smiled and sat back, getting up and trying to fix his layers of shirts.
Kyle smirked at him. "Well, Yes, I think I've already made my opinion on your wardrobe perfectly clear." He put a hand to his head, patting his hair. "I hate to think what this actually looks like right now..."
"I think it's all I got to work with," Adam said about his wardrobe, reaching out to stop Kyle from messing with his hair. "It's cute. Stop."
Kyle dropped his hands to his lap when Adam told him to stop it, though it didn't stop him from figuring there was work to be done there. 'Cute' didn't preclude it also being a mess, after all. If Adam liked the look of messy, then Kyle could produce a styled kind of messy that should garner far more appreciative results. "We're both on limited wardrobes," he agreed. That will be borne in mind."
"And you hate most of mine," Adam said shaking his head before leaning in to kiss Kyle again. "See you later?"
"I think hate is too strong a word," Kyle protested, returning the kiss. "I just think you could do a lot better. But, sure - I'll see you later," he promised.
Adam chuckled a little and stole one more kiss before backing up and starting towards the door. "See ya then," he said without much else to say before he ducked into the hall and headed for his room.