not a great morning
Who: Adam and Kennedy Where: near the tournament grounds When: morning
The night, while it had initially been okay, turned out to suck hard, sweaty donkey balls. She had wound up being attacked by various animals, though the worst was the fox. It was bigger than the other ones, and shit its bite hurt. The second most awful was the bird, she didn’t know what kind it was, but she had scratches all over her face and peck wounds on her scalp hidden by her hair. She knew she was lucky she kept her eyes.
So, she was having a shit day. And fuckers were continuing the damn tournament. Normally she had a real hard time giving a shit about much of anything, but seeing that she certainly wasn’t the only one who had a shit night...it was dumb. People were bandaged up while trying to wear fancy clothes, and what the shit. She was seated a ways away from the action, glaring daggers at the tournament while she considered making an attempt to shut it down.
Adam had spent the night in the blacksmith’s forge with Kyle and a few others he’d managed to grab and drag back into the forge with him. There were enough of them that Kyle had decided to spend what part of the night people were sleeping on the other side of the place from him which had left both of them anxious. By the time it was morning and things were calmer, he was working through their trampled tent and pulling what was functioning out, trying to get their money together to see if he could get what he needed to fix the tent.
It was a shock that the tournament was still going on, that vendors were trying to make do with trampled and damaged stalls. He was wandering through them until he slowed, seeing a familiar figure. Heading her way he frowned. “You okay? That’s one hell of a look.” “Yeah, I went for the 'birds tried to fucking gouge my eyes out and foxes are bitches' look,” Kennedy grumbled. She didn't look over at Adam. Normally she would be pleased to see him, but at the moment, she was in a darker mood than that. Plus, just because she'd decided wasn't giving up on him didn't mean that in the moment she felt like it.
He moved even closer, catching the scratches on her face and frowning. “Yeah no shit,” Adam said, but there was concern in his voice, taking her arm to turn her towards him so he could see what was wrong with. “Did you get these washed up and bandaged?” he asked, worried about her.
“If by 'washed' you mean 'found some water I wouldn't drink if paid and splashed it on open wounds', yeah. I did. Let's say I'm not hopeful for a speedy recovery.” She finally glanced at him, then back at the tournament venue. “And they're still fucking holding this stupid ass tournament like the forest didn't just up and goddamn attack everyone.”
Adam kept his hand on Kennedy’s arm, not feeling right letting go of her. “I’m sure there’s a doctor somewhere…” Not that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to trust one of them, but they had to be there. “I don’t know if they know what to do otherwise.”
“I'm sure they've got leeches for everyone, but no thanks,” she said. “And maybe not, but whatever. Not up to me, right? It's not like I have a plan to shut it down,” she continued, letting him look to his hearts content at her arm if that's what he wanted to do. Her glare at the tournament got worse. “Someone should fucking...start a fire, and then people can go home, and heal up, and have three seconds to mourn the dead and lick their wounds before they're paraded back out for that dumb bitch's entertainment!” she growled darkly.
“Start a fire? Where...the stands are so more people can get hurt?” he asked, pulling at her arm and trying to draw her away from the tournament to keep her from burning things down. “Let’s not start something.” Not with people with swords. That sounded unhealthy.
She stood, and shot the place a dark look, resisting as he tried to pull her away. “Fine, not fire,” she said. “Whatever. Look, don't you have a controlling boyfriend to get back to?” she found herself snapping.
Adam faltered a little, still giving her arm a tug. “No nothing. Just let it go,” he said, trying to stay on course before frowning. “He’s not controlling.” How could Kyle be controlling. He’d been controlled. Kyle wouldn’t do that.
“I'm not great at that sometimes,” she shared, which was real information. The majority of the time, she was actually fucking awesome at it. So awesome she could definitely rightfully be accused of giving no shits at all about anything. But sometimes, when she was offended like this, it was a different story. When he said he wasn't controlling, Kennedy snorted. “No?” she asked. “You two were sniffing around each other, sure. And what, the second someone else shows interest in you, you literally get hauled off mid-party for a fuck, to lock that shit down and ensure that you aren't free to make your own choices? Nope! Not controlling at all. Good luck with that, babe.”
“Yeah well, let’s try and let it go this time so that we don’t go through as much mayhem as we did last night.” When she explained his relationship and called him out for the hook up in the middle of the party he sputtered a little bit. “That’s not...that’s not what happened. What are you talking about?”
Normally she wouldn't have gone about things this way. But her mood had taken a hard shift, and she was talking without a filter. She dropped talking about the tournament, though. She probably looked like an angry tribal spirit, with the angry, deep scratches on her face and the frown there, her hair wild to frame the picture. “Isn't it?” she asked. “Because what I saw was I talked to Kyle for a little while, he practically screamed from the rafters his insecurities, and I went off to find you, because hi, I'm a person who likes you, and wasn't really planning on rolling over just because he couldn't handle someone else finding you attractive. You're a grown goddamn man. And low and behold, when I do spot you? You're wearing the biggest, most obvious shit eating 'I just came so hard' face I've ever seen.” She held his gaze. “So. You tell me what happened, Adam. Because it sure looks to me like Kyle decided to pull you along by your dick.”
Adam opened his mouth, finally letting go her arm, but not saying anything right away. Yes, what she was saying was crass, but it was pretty close to what happened. Mostly. He didn’t know about part of it. “I didn’t know you were talking to Kyle…” Did he? God he couldn’t remember, because that all sounded really shitty and he was running his hand through his hair. “I don’t think it was...I mean part of it was my idea…He’s not, I’m not…”
“Cuz that's not a hard thing to plant, or direct a person toward,” Kennedy said. “Whatever. He's not, you're not fill in the blank. He was busy spouting how you're not like that the whole time, but the second I was gone, apparently that went out the fucking window.”
Adam supposed she was right. It wasn’t that hard to direct him of all people into that sort of thing. Kyle had just did the same thing the night before. He ran his hand over his face, trying to focus, not write everything off because of something Kennedy was saying when she seemed to be really upset about things that weren’t him. “How I’m not like what?”
“The type to cheat, or whatever, even if you two aren't exactly married. You were still just figuring things out, and that in no way means that others can't like you. Maybe I never got anywhere. Maybe I did. See, I'm the type to let others make those decisions for themselves. But if he really, truly trusted you?” she shook her head and trailed off. “Whatever. You're still free to do whatever you want. But I find his actions on the what the fuck side,” she said. “And you never would have been the wiser.”
“I’m not the type…” Was he? He didn’t think he was. He was pretty sure he wasn’t. He didn’t even know what she was talking about at this point. “I don’t think that’s what he was doing. I think he was just trying to...we were...it’s not like that.” He shook his head. He wouldn’t believe that. “He does trust me.”
“Sure,” Kennedy said. “You go ahead and believe whatever it is that makes you sleep better, babe,” Kennedy said. “Good luck with it. I'll be around, I guess.”
Adam shook his head. “Don’t do that. Don’t drop that then go all ‘good luck’ and ‘I’ll be around’. What’s the point of that anyway?” he asked not being accusing, but sounding confused. “Why is me liking him bad? Why is him wanting to be with me bad?”
“It isn’t,” Kennedy said, genuinely meaning that. “That isn’t what’s bad at all. I think you deserve better than a panic, control hook up. I think you deserve time to enjoy being desired, to do your thing. I think you deserve to not be manipulated in a fucking underhanded way. I think he either trusts you or doesn’t, and that’s that.”
“You think that because I’m not sleeping with you,” Adam said without thinking, instantly wishing he hadn’t. He didn’t really mean that. That wasn’t fair. “He does want me. And it’s not trust or anything else. He just wants to be with me. He’s the first person…” Adam trailed off and didn’t finish what he was thinking, taking a step away from her.
She didn’t look offended. She just nodded when he said it, though not in agreement. “Go ahead. Demonize me because you don’t like what I’m saying. Might as well, right? I mean, if you turn me into a lying bitch, or the devil or whatever, then what I have to say can’t be true, and you can blissfully ignore me.” She paused. “He’s the first person…?” she prompted.
“Stop that Kennedy,” Adam insisted. “Stop. I don’t…” He turned back to look at her, reaching for her arm. “I’m not going to say you’re the devil. I’m not like that. I just...I shouldn’t have said that about you sleeping with me. Or not sleeping with me.” He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair with a sigh. There was a pause he answered her prompt, obviously not rushing to answer the question. “The first one to come back. To be there a second time.”
“Well you’re going out of your way to seem like you are,” Kennedy said. “But fine, you aren’t like that,” she accepted. “And just because he’s the first to come back doesn’t mean he’s some perfect saint or anything. Just means you’ve been with lousy people up til now. Don’t be that girl, Adam.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t think of you like that,” Adam said shaking his head. “He likes me Kennedy and I’m sorry the timing was wrong or you for some reason are attracted to me or whatever else. But he does and I thought…” He closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair again. “I’m not that girl.” He didn’t really fight the girl comment considering he’d been pretty damn gay lately, not that that was bad, but it was kind of obvious.
“No? Not gonna be that girl who decides it’s love with the first guy who screws them and is there the next morning?” she asked. “And now it’s your turn to not do that. Don’t do ‘or whatever else’ or ‘for some reason’. I’m attracted to you. I like you. Because you are attractive, and likeable, and awesome. Own it.”
“I’m not in love,” Adam said shaking his head, even if it left a knot in his stomach. He did feel stupidly strongly about Kyle, but that had started before he was actually with the guy didn’t it? He looked back at her then shook his head. “Fine. You are, you like me. You don’t know me Kennedy. I don’t know you. Well minus that part where you’re a tiny bit nuts.” More than a tiny bit but he was trying to be polite.
“Well, that’s an understatement,” Kennedy said. “And nope. I don’t know you. But I would like to. As for you, I don’t think you get the idea that you’ve got a presence. It’s kind, nice to be around, and sweet. Sometimes, there’s just something about someone else that makes you want to be around. You have that. Now, I get it, if you don’t like me. If my brand of insanity is too much for you. It is for, let’s just say ‘everyone ever’, so this wouldn’t really come as some shock or anything. Say the word, and I’m out of your hair. Kyle would be happy.”
“What’s an understatement?” Adam asked. “I never said anything about not liking you Kennedy. You have this way of just,” he made a frustrated noise and clenched his hands but couldn’t put words to it. She just created that sort of noise and feeling. “But I like you. You get under my skin and it’s not always making me nuts.” He quirked a smile at her, just in the corner of his mouth. “So maybe...less talking about us being together and more being friends?”
“The part where you said ‘tiny bit nuts’. That’s an understatement,” Kennedy supplied. “And I’m not talking about us being together, I’m talking about having fun,” she told him. As for the noise he made when he was describing what she had a way of doing, she nodded. “And whatever,” she told him.
“You did casually jump down an elevator shaft like it was nothing,” Adam pointed out. “I was sure it was an understatement.” He smiled a little more, nodding. “Fun as in sex. I think...we could have fun otherwise. Right? You know how to do that right?” Now he was taunting, daring her, just slightly.
Her attention was drifting back to the tournament, though the brighter emotions had died down. Then she looked past Adam, away from things. “Sure,” she stated, because she knew she needed to provide him the answer he was looking for there. So he could skip off all happy go lucky and ignore any red flags she’d brought up. “See ya,” she added, and walked past him, opting to go for a walk.
Adam caught her arm as she passed, seeing that she wasn’t looking at him, and not letting it get ignored. He’d seen her red flags. That was itching at him, but he wasn’t going to come apart at the seams for her, just because he had to ask Kyle about some things. Lay some rules maybe. That was his business. “I’m serious Kennedy. I like you. I do. Crazy and all. And I don’t have a lot of friends.”
“I heard you,” she said. “I understand. Same page, and all that,” she told him. For her, she was very much under the impression it was going to be a ‘I’ll see it when I believe it’ circumstance. She could practically see how this was going to play out without needing the ringside view. She was also aware that other things were creeping up on her in the back of her head, which was heavily influencing her. Great. Yeah, she’d definitely believe it when she saw it, though she didn’t give an indication of that.
There was a clear hesitation in Adam, like he wanted to ask about something else, but he wasn’t sure if he was seeing something as off or if he was just seeing something weird. “Okay good,” he said nodding. “See you soon okay?” He let go of her arm, pulling his hand away so he wouldn’t do it again.
She nodded, then wandered off, not looking back.
Adam watched her go with a sigh, looking at the ceiling. He looked around for a moment then went back towards his tent. He needed to talk to Kyle.