Adam frowned when Kyle stopped short. "Because I usually have. Or it makes the most senses that I have." He paused for a moment, panic rising in his chest. "Are you mad at me?"
Kyle shook his head. "No, I'm not mad at you. You're not done anything wrong. This isn't your fault. It's just... My head's a mess. You know how yesterday I pretty much thought I'd had some kind of a psychotic break? Well, that was only yesterday. I don't - I haven't just snapped right out of that, I guess. I just - things go round and round and sometimes I just... I'm sorry. This isn't fair to you. I... Sorry," Kyle apologised, the words falling over themselves as he spoke.
Adam shifted closer and handed Kyle his glass. "You can talk to me about it you know. I don't mind listening. What's going round and round?"
Kyle shook his head in the negative. "I - no. I can't. It's just... It's Harry stuff and I - I don't want to be talking about that. Him. Now. With you," he said. I don't want to be talking about it at all, a small voice at the back of his mind echoed. He would have to, some day, he knew. Maybe once the bruises had faded and he had some emotional distance from the whole thing. How, he was just afraid he would lose it entirely, or end up saying something he would regret. He was afraid to let go and actually let himself explore how he felt.
"I thought...why not me? Aren't we supposed to talk about things?" Maybe not. Maybe it was like with Jeffrey where you just didn't being certain things up, but Adam was sure it was supposed to be different here. Who else was going to listen to Kyle if not the guy he was dating? "I don't care if you need to talk about him. Just because I don't like him doesn't mean I can't be here for you."
I don't want to talk about my ex-boyfriend with my cu... With you! It's... It's awkward and weird and it's just too soon, okay!" Kyle exclaimed forcefully. "This isn't 'things' - this is Harry."
Adam caught that misstep and raised an eyebrow at it, leaning in a little more. "Your what?" He sighed and nodded though when Kyle finished. "Okay. But you can talk to me. I'll listen. Promise."
Kyle blushed and shrugged a shoulder, awkwardly. "I... don't know. I do know you'll listen though - that's not the problem. You're not the problem. It's that I don't want to talk. I'm not ready to talk. Not about this. Not to you. Can you understand that? How it might be difficult for me to talk to someone I'm getting involved with about a relationship that just failed? I mean, you'd get angry at the bad stuff, and hurt at the good stuff and you're like the most partisan person around, which is great for some things, but this - I'm already too close to it anyway and I'm trying not to get emotional about it all in the first place and adding you into the mix on that wouldn't help and I just... I can't, okay?" "I have no idea what partisan means, but okay," Adam said finally. "You don't have to. Just don't think you can't." He tentatively leaned in and kissed Kyle, not sure if that would be would be okay or not, not after all of that.
Kyle let his eyes drift closed as he met the kiss, grateful that Adam was letting it go. He felt like he had dodged a bullet - he knew he would never have been able to talk about any of that without someone getting hurt. Probably both of them. Possibly with fallout. He reached across to cup Adam's jaw, enjoying the far more simple feeling of his lips on Adam's. When he drew back, it was with a little smile, as he said, "It means that you'll always take my side, no matter what."