Kyle's head swum and he couldn't decide whether it was the alcohol of the sudden realisation of just how much he'd screwed up tonight. Probably both. He reached to push the alcohol further away. he really needed to not drink that. He had thought Adam was a nice guy - sweet and caring, if a little clingy and prone to do worrying things like get a really meaningful tattoo about some guy he'd only met twice. He had thought that was actually something that was kinda nice, in his little world of being stuck in a hotel where he could pretend everything was fine and his life didn't really exist, or at least didn't have any impact. A nice, sweet, good looking guy who was really into him seemed just what Kyle had needed. That much hadn't changed. What had changed was the sudden realisation that in all of that, he was being really selfish. He had known full well that there was a very real chance that he'd end up chewing Adam up and spitting him out again. Having him as a rebound toy - fun during, but not built to last. That had been the foundation of why they were taking things slowly. So that that didn't happen. Now, they were lying, semi-naked, in Adam's bed, all those promises firmly out of the window, whilst Adam talked about roots and family and building a home. Sure, he had said that it was about 'someone like Kyle' and not necessarily Kyle himself, but the feeling was there, along with the knowledge and realisation that, should Kyle decide to leave, he would break Adam's heart into tiny little pieces and stamp all over those abandonment issues. He really didn't know what to do with that. He didn't want to pull back, not at all. He liked Adam a whole lot. He just really wished that he had been more careful, and he was scared of screwing things up. "It's not stupid shit to want that, A," he said, quietly, still holding onto Adam's hand with one of his. He traced over the tree tattoo with his free hand, then figured 'fuck it' - if he was in this deep already, he may as well go with it. He leaned forward and kissed the branches of the tree, looking up at Adam through his lashes. "Not stupid at all," he murmured. "Having an insane best friend though... You're safe though, right? I mean - he's not any danger to you? Or was. Or would be when we go back?"
Adam was bound to get hurt no matter what. He got hurt when Kyle left the first time and didn't show up in the diner again. Adam had abandonment issues and he'd thought that something really good was going on between them, even if just as friends or aquaintences and then he'd never seen the guy again. It had hurt then. And yes, if Kyle used him up and spat him out Adam would be heartbroken, but part of him expected it. The only part that would really hurt was the hope for something different. Hope was always killing his resolve. Still, it wasn't something Adam was fully aware of, only familiar with the feeling as they came and the fleeting sense that he might always be alone. Jeffrey helped with that, giving him a home and a family of sorts, but Jeffrey's family wasn't the one Adam wanted. But beggers can't be chooses and until Kyle there weren't other options. Now there was Kyle. Kyle who was kissing the tattoo and looking at him like that and making Adam wonder why he'd ever worried in the first place. "He doesn't get mad at me. I see to that. So yeah, safe enough," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Provided we don't get caught at anything, I'm fine."