"My dreams aren't really things like that," Adam admitted, taking a small gulp of his drink. There was a reason why he didn't talk about it. "I wish I'd been there to help you be stronger," he said softly turning to look at Kyle instead and focus on him. "And who's to say I'm not passionate about you?" Kyle was certainly something Adam wanted more than much of anything else and not just the man himself, but what he meant. Someone who liked him, who wanted to be with him. That was something Adam had been sure he'd never find. He sighed a thoughts of Jeffrey. "I just worry. He's fickle and if he's not moved on he's worried about me or mad at me for going missing." Adam rubbed his palm against his head. "I've not got much else without him."
Kyle chuckled a little at that, feeling the buzz of the alcohol starting to really kick in. Everything was beginning to feel warm and fuzzy. "I'm not a dream to have, Adam," he said. "That's not... I mean, it's nice to be wanted and everything, but... For me to be your life's dream, the thing you're most passionate about? I - I don't know how well I would deal with that kind of pressure." Because that was how it felt to him. If Kyle thought that he was Adam's everything, then he knew he would feel the need to be Adam's everything. To be exactly what the man wanted and what he needed, regardless of what it did to him. That wasn't healthy, for either of them. "What are your dreams like, if they're not like that?" he asked. "I mean.. If your dreams are just working in a diner and partying then that's okay. I could see the appeal of a life like that. Low responsibility, fun... Though having a fickle best friend can't be much fun," he suggested, turning that round on Adam. The more he heard about it, the more he was concluding that Adam and Jeffrey's relationship was really unbalanced.
"It's not you really. It's someone like you. This," he waved between them, looking at his glass that was nearing empty. "It's stupid, just orphan shit. Nothing worth talking about." Adam found a smile, mostly laughing at himself internally for being pathetic and shook his head. "Yes, it's kind of a great life, but it's not all parties. It's dealing with whatever Jeffrey is feeling and sometimes he's not all sane. And he's not that fickle about me. But about other things. Sometimes he really likes something and a week later he's smashing it because he hates it."
Kyle set his glass down on the side and then sat forward, grasping Adam's hand in his. "Stop that. Nothing is ever 'stupid orphan shit'. It's always worth talking about," he admonished. "Tell me - I insist. I wanna know. Like I wanna know about Jeffrey not being sane. Cos... That really doesn't sound right."
Adam didn't look up right away, just turned his arm out so the tree tattoo was obvious. "A home Ky. Family, roots. My family. Stupid shit." He wasn't at all sure why he was just telling Kyle, admitting to something he barely talked about even if it seeped into ever aspect of his life. "And Jeffrey is...kinda insane. His family is really insane, but he's...I'm worried about him really. He gets these ideas and he goes back and forth on how he feels and sometimes it's rough." Sometimes Jeffrey was pulling Adam into more illegal activity than Adam liked. Sometimes he came home and Jeffrey was waist deep in his family's drug business and Adam was left stuck in it knowing he knew too much to not be in trouble if it fell apart.