Adam definitely liked the better access, running his thumb along Kyle’s hipbone. “Maybe? Hopefully.” He smiled and nodded. “It does sound fun. I think you’re just going to realize that I’m not all that fancy. You’ll have to teach me about that too.” He was quiet for a moment, focusing on his drink before looking up. “I want to do whatever you want to do,” he said.
"What do you mean?" Kyle asked, latching onto that last statement, but not really understanding what Adam meant by it. "I'm not really into changing you. If there's things I can show you, then that's cool, but I’m not expecting you to turn into some Manhattan socialite clone or anything."
“I don’t think you could turn me into one, but...well I was kind of a deadbeat wasn’t I, I am kind of a deadbeat?” he asked. “Most of what I did was drag my hungover ass to the diner and party. I could use some cleaning up. And if you want to try something or do something we can do it.”
"If that's your definition of a deadbeat, then I kinda fit that too," Kyle told him, though he inwardly acknowledged that wasn't great. "Failed art student, unemployed - well, unless you call dealing for Harry a 'job'... Not sure I'm the best role model."
"Yeah but you're going back to art school. And you're a fine role model. You've done stuff that I can't even dream about because I don't know about it." Adam smiled, having enough confidence in that for both of them. "But if me not amounting to much doesn't bother you I won't worry about it as much."
Kyle shook his head. "I'm not going back to art school, Adam," he corrected, but there was an amused smile on his face. Right now, he considered it sweet that Adam wouldn't let that go. "I was talking to this guy I met about it earlier today. I'm going to work on my art again, but I'm going to stay strictly amateur. Keep it as a hobby. Nothing to stress out about too much. And I... it's not that I don't want you to amount to anything. I want you to be able to do everything with your life. Find your dreams and follow them. I just... I know I'm never going to amount to much now, so what kind of a hypocrite would I be if decided that was fine for me, but not enough for you?" The difference, of course, was money. Kyle could afford to do nothing with his life, and still be able to live in the lap of luxury.
"Why am I following dreams I don't have when you're the one with dreams and you're not following them?" Adam asked but he looked pleased that Kyle was going to be doing some sort of art. He had a feeling it would make him happy. "You're the one that has parents to bring me home to. I only have Jeffrey and really...he might have moved on already."
"That's why I'm trying not to be a hypocrite," Kyle told him, reaching out to stroke Adam's leg with a foot. "I had dreams. I tried to follow them and I fell short. That almost killed me, but I'm glad I tried. I wish... I just wish I'd been better, stronger. More able to actually deal with it all. I've never wished that I hadn't tried in the first place, or that I didn't have dreams. What I want for you is for you to experience what I had - that passion about something that runs so deep that you just have to reach for it. I don't know what it would be for you, but I want to help you find it, because - A, there's no feeling like that in the world," Kyle gushed with real feeling, his blue eyes bright with enthusiasm.
Kyle, prodded Adam lightly with his foot as he mentioned Jeffrey. "It's been two days. Three at most. I'll say it again - too soon for Jeffrey to have moved on from his best friend. Stop selling yourself short. You. are. important."