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DATE: Week 2. Tuesday. Noon.
TYPE: Blog. Filtered to slaves.
Hello, I'm Evan. Two weeks ago my name came up in the lottery and I was sold. What makes this particularly bitter is that I was just a month away from my thirtieth birthday, away from absolute freedom. Timing's a bitch, sometimes.
What I'm after, I guess, is advice. Even though I always knew that I could be called up, it was just something that *might* happen. Now that it actually has, I'm having trouble adjusting. I won't carry on about how fair or unfair things are, because that doesn't change the reality of the situation. She legally bought me, I'm hers, that's the end of it. I have no intention of running off, would never raise a hand to her. She's trying to be kind, I understand that. But by the same token she thinks I should be happy to be owned, and her obliviousness to how I feel about it is a little crazy-making.
What is really difficult for me is the change in how people treat me now that I'm a slave. People see my collar and they no longer see me. I've gone from nearly thirty years of being my own person to being...nothing. I'm no longer addressed directly unless it's confrontation about why I'm out without my master, and where are my papers that say I can be on my own. Every decision I make has to be run through her, and she seems to want me around constantly. I'm not chained in the basement, I have some small freedom, but I feel...smothered, like it's hard to breathe.
I've done a lot of hard physical work in the past week trying to wear out the anger regarding the situation, have run countless miles and exercised enough to make a professional body-builder look like a slacker. It doesn't seem to make a difference. I thought I was more adaptable than what I actually am, and that's another disappointment.
So I guess I'm asking--what do you do, or what have you done that has made the adjustment to being a slave easier? Don't give me the speech about how I should rebel against the system because that's not going to happen. We've all seen or heard about what happens to the rabble-rousers and would be freedom-fighters and I'm not interested in that fate.
TYPE: Blog. Filtered to slaves.
Hello, I'm Evan. Two weeks ago my name came up in the lottery and I was sold. What makes this particularly bitter is that I was just a month away from my thirtieth birthday, away from absolute freedom. Timing's a bitch, sometimes.
What I'm after, I guess, is advice. Even though I always knew that I could be called up, it was just something that *might* happen. Now that it actually has, I'm having trouble adjusting. I won't carry on about how fair or unfair things are, because that doesn't change the reality of the situation. She legally bought me, I'm hers, that's the end of it. I have no intention of running off, would never raise a hand to her. She's trying to be kind, I understand that. But by the same token she thinks I should be happy to be owned, and her obliviousness to how I feel about it is a little crazy-making.
What is really difficult for me is the change in how people treat me now that I'm a slave. People see my collar and they no longer see me. I've gone from nearly thirty years of being my own person to being...nothing. I'm no longer addressed directly unless it's confrontation about why I'm out without my master, and where are my papers that say I can be on my own. Every decision I make has to be run through her, and she seems to want me around constantly. I'm not chained in the basement, I have some small freedom, but I feel...smothered, like it's hard to breathe.
I've done a lot of hard physical work in the past week trying to wear out the anger regarding the situation, have run countless miles and exercised enough to make a professional body-builder look like a slacker. It doesn't seem to make a difference. I thought I was more adaptable than what I actually am, and that's another disappointment.
So I guess I'm asking--what do you do, or what have you done that has made the adjustment to being a slave easier? Don't give me the speech about how I should rebel against the system because that's not going to happen. We've all seen or heard about what happens to the rabble-rousers and would be freedom-fighters and I'm not interested in that fate.