Dmitry, help! I’m lost in Midtown! I’m by an old building that used to be Tic Toc Diner. Can you come get me?</i>
Dmitry was of course deep at work but the messages from Ann were always flagged to interrupt aggressively. She and Iv were flagged like that. Otherwise their messages would get lost even if he didn't want that to happen. So when he got the message from his ex-wife (mostly), he dropped everything. On my way! he immediately shot back, before heading out.
He noticed once he got outside what time it was. That immediately had him rushing all the more. It was one thing for her to be lost during the day, it was a whole other story to be out wandering around at night. For someone who looked like her, who people would be able to tell she wasn't from down here – it may not be pretty. At all. So, he got the lead out.
It wasn't too long before he was there, having taken some shortcuts he knew. He also paid a couple of his contacts to maybe sort of walk the area and be sure nothing happened to her. He didn't know if it would work, but it was worth the shot. Eventually he showed up, seeing her. Relief flooded through him. “Ann,” he called, heading toward her. “I'm here,” he said.
Ann was so thankful when Dmitry answered back right away. For all she knew, he was completely busy with everything and wouldn’t get her message until hours later, she had no idea that he had it set to where messages from her would continuously interrupt him when they went through. If she had, it would make her smile.
She paced in the area she was at while she waited, her eyes darting back and forth. Thankfully she had not worn any of her expensive clothing, what she had on was a dress from a thrift store; she’d done that so she wouldn’t look so out of place, but she knew people would figure it out by the way she held herself to her mannerisms, to how she spoke. There were a couple of times when she thought she’d noticed someone watching her from a distance and she had started to get extremely frightened. Back and forth she paced until she heard that familiar voice.
“Dmitry!” she said as her own relief eased her shoulders. “Thank goodness! I am so sorry that I had to disturb you, but thank you so much for coming,” she blabbered and glanced over his shoulder. “I’m almost positive someone was watching me.”
Dmitry smiled at her, and felt like hugging her but he didn't, knowing that probably wasn't allowed. “Of course,” he said, even if he knew that she had every right to doubt whether or not he'd actually make it. “And don't worry about disturbing me, it's fine,” he assured her. That much he definitely didn't mind. He would have felt sick if he knew that he'd missed her message and not helped her when she needed him.
“And...” he paused and looked back in the direction she was looking. “...might be someone I've helped out here and there,” he told her. “I knew it was going to take me a while to get here, I didn't want anyone bothering you til I arrived so I tasked a few friends who were closer to keep an eye out.” He looked sheepish. “I should have said so, I'm sorry,” he apologized.
“Let's get you home,” he said, wanting to reassure her. “I'll walk you there, okay?”
Ann wished to hug Dmitry, but she too wasn’t sure how or if she should. They weren’t exactly divorced, but had been separated for many years. She visited him frequently, taking him food and checking on him, but they lived apart and kept separate lives. She missed him greatly most of the time.
“Oh…” she said as he explained that whoever had been watching her was someone he had called. “Brilliant idea, of course. Whomever it was definitely did their job, no one approached me,” she chuckled lightly. “Thank you, for that as well.” She had had no one else to call, she knew no one that knew the streets like Dmitry...except maybe Landon, she could have called him had Dmitry not answered her.
She fell into step beside him and shifted her hand to tuck hair behind her ear. “I was actually wanting to come see you,” she murmured. “There is a reason that I was down here and after I did what I had wanted to, I wanted to come see you and tell you about it,” she glanced over at him quickly, then away. “We can talk as we walk, I suppose. It will take a bit to get me back home, won’t it?”
He'd definitely been wondering why she'd been in Mid-town, but hadn't wanted to pry. So when she opened up, he was happy and all ears. Also he was happy that she'd been coming to see him, but still. She smiled and nodded. “Yeah, it's a walk,” he agreed. “But go on, tell me,” he encouraged. Hell, right now he didn't have anything at all to distract him. No gadget that he was trying to tweak, no notebook to be jotting notes in, nothing. It was just the two of them, walking together.
It was probably the best scenario. It forced his focus to her since she was the only thing to focus on. And he wanted that. He wanted to not be distracted at all, wanted his full attention on her.
Ann was quiet for a moment, gathering all of her thoughts and the energy it would take to speak about it all. Everything she thought she knew about her life was a lie. Or Emily was lying. She didn’t know which at the moment.
“I came to see Emily,” she started, before realizing he might not know who Emily was. She’d spoken to him before about there being a surrogate, but she wasn’t sure she’d had a name then. “I found the surrogate,” she explained. “She lives here, in Midtown,” she continued. “With her other children.” She paused and glanced over at Dmitry before continuing. “I sat across from her place on a bench for hours today, just watching. Then, finally, I got up the nerve to knock on the door...she knew exactly who I was, Dmitry,” she said, excited for the moment. It had been surprising that Emily had known her. “She asked me in and we talked for a long time. I learned some things...I’m not even sure they are true.”
Dmitry knew that sometimes Ann had trouble opening up, so he didn't try to push her into getting it out there faster, he waited as they walked. When she did start talking, it made sense to him. Right, her mother stuff. The things that concerned him in quiet ways he wasn't sure how to express. “You have siblings?” he asked, smiling a little. He always loved the idea of those. He didn't have any himself, but he'd made sure his children weren't only children – not that that had worked out. But he was trying to fix that.
“What was she like?” he asked. “What did you learn?” That part was probably the most important. She'd been searching for some answers – what kind had she forgotten?
“I do,” Ann nodded about the siblings. “Several, I think? I didn’t meet any of them today,” she shook her head. “Emily is...well, she is rough around the edges, but even at her age she is quite beautiful, she is aging well. She’s...I don’t know. I didn’t feel any motherly comfort stuff, but then again I never really felt that with mother, either,” she sighed. “I don’t know what I was expecting, but Emily seems..she’s had a difficult life, you know?” She wasn’t sure what Emily was like, it seemed as if there was a wall there, even if they had talked for hours. “But what I learned, the most surprising thing to me, is that she’s actually my mother,” she got out. “I knew that mother couldn’t have children, the papers told me they had to use my father’s sperm and fertilize the other woman’s eggs,” she continued. “So, I mean, I knew I was part of her, but what I didn’t know…” she took a breath and licked her lips. “I thought it was all clinical. But what she told me… I was an accident, Dmitry,” she looked over at him. “I wasn’t planned at all. Mother couldn’t get pregnant, no, and father apparently wanted a child and it put a strain on the relationship and he...father actually slept with Emily. He cheated on mother. Several times, apparently. And then I came along…” she glanced up at the sky, mostly to keep herself from letting any tears fall that threatened to do so.
Dmitry listened, and wound up taking Ann's hand in his as he heard her voice start to get more and more strained as she spoke. His heart went out to her. This whole thing was huge for her, and he knew it affected her deeply. What pained him most about what she said was that she hadn't felt that warmth thing from her bio mom either. Coming from a rather cold home, that would have been everything to Ann. So not having it from her either had to be a pretty devastating blow. He squeezed her hand and kept his eyes on her as they walked.
“Ann, I'm so sorry that she wasn't... that she didn't have those 'mom' qualities,” he told her first. That seemed the most important out of everything. “And you're a love child?” he asked. “That's...” he blinked then nodded. “Actually makes more sense to me than the story you've been told your whole life,” he concluded. “Is that upsetting you a lot? Were you taken from her forcibly?” he asked, not sure how the details shook out way back when. That would change things. If it wound up kind of being an as-amiable-as-possible circumstance and they raised baby Ann because that was the best arrangement, then okay. If they forced Emily to take the deal or else, that was different.
When Dmitry took her head, she was grateful. Ann squeezed his hand and accepted the warmth that it gave. “It wasn’t that she didn’t have those ‘mom’ qualities, but I keep telling myself that she was holding back. It was our first meeting and though she said she’d been expecting me I was still a surprise on her door step. And she was welcoming, called me her daughter, but… maybe it’s just me, Dmitry. Maybe I just don’t know what it feels like. Maybe it’s just me? And if I keep on that path, then I start thinking that maybe I don’t have mom qualities either and that’s why Ivanya dislikes me so much.”
“Love child?” She actually giggled at that. “I was thinking more of my father’s bastard child, but Love child has a nice ring to it,” she shook her head. “Emily told me that she and father had an affair for quite a while, going longer than possibly a year before she wound up pregnant. She thought father would leave my mother and marry her, taker her up into the towers where she could be a princess, but…” she laughed. “Father admitted to mother what he’d done and since he’d been wanting a child so badly they offered Emily money and then made everything seem as if it were clinical so people wouldn’t talk. I don’t know if they forced her to take the money, but she said that it was either take the money and try to have a better life, or keep me and live poorly, so she chose the money. Knowing my father, there was probably some force put into it.” She paused for a moment and tried to regather her thoughts. “I am upset. I am definitely upset. Because knowing that mother never really cared for me much, I had another mother that might have…” she looked at Dmitry. “And I don’t even know what to do with all this information.”
Dmitry was a pretty emotional guy for being a scatterbrained genius engineer. His heart kinda broke for Ann when she was standing there, doubting herself. “ангел, no, that's not it, okay? It's not you, you are a wonderful mother. Iv's just...well, she's you and me all over. She's got my scientific brain and she's got your will and determination. And she's still figuring life out, and I'm sorry you get the blame for things you shouldn't. But it's not you. Don't think that. I wouldn't want anyone else in the entire world raising my children,” he said, not realizing that he was still using the plural there.
He was relieved when he heard her laugh, though, and he smiled. “You're acknowledged, so you can't be a bastard,” he said. “But yeah, love child. So much better sounding,” he agreed. “Especially knowing how long that went on!” he added when she put the time frame on things. He heard the rest, and exhaled, looking at her. “That's a lot to process,” he said. He was glad that she'd been wanting to go to him to do that. “...and perhaps she would have cared. But it's possible she wouldn't have either. Maybe she couldn't afford a child, you could have wound up malnourished, abused. I live down here, Ann. And a lot of times I see what happens when people with no means have a child. It's a lot of pain, a lot of suffering. Tensions rise, resentments... it's a hard life for everyone. What happened might not have been planned or perfect, but you were given a good life. And hopefully she got good out of her end too, that your siblings had a better life than the rest of the people down here.” His voice was gentle, as was the look he had in his eyes as he spoke.
It was hard to not think of herself as a horrible mother. She’d tried her best with her own children, trying to give them the love she’d never been given herself. In the end she’d lost one to disease and her daughter hated her. Ivanya blamed her for splitting up their little family, but she knew there were things that Ivanya may never understand, and how she may not believe that Ann loved Dmitry as much today as she had when they’d first met. Iv would never accept that Ann had done what she’d done to keep her family happy.
“I’m barely acknowledged,” Ann sighed. “I’m sure my father regrets taking me and wishes he’d had a boy instead,” she looked down at the ground. “It is a lot to process. It’s why I wanted to come to you instead of go home, and then I got lost…” she laughed lightly. “You’re right. Emily may not have wanted me, may have not been able to raise me properly...but then again, maybe she could have loved me, Dmitry. I’ve never wanted anything more than to be loved, maybe it’s too much to ask for,” she looked at him, hurt and pain in her eyes. “But I suppose it all explains why I have always felt as if I never belonged up there. Why mother always looks at me with disdain. I’m...nothing more than trash to her…” she sniffled and looked away.
“Yes, well, your dad is a dick,” Dmitry said, smiling as he said it. He'd never been fond of either of her parents. He'd always thought they treated her coldly and she had issues due to it. “He can think and feel however he wants, you're an amazing woman. If he can't see that and be proud then he's also an imbecile,” he added. He put his arm around her and pulled her close, stopping their walk for a moment. He looked her in the eyes. “Ann, you are loved,” he told her. “I know it's not the kind of love that you're looking for right now, the maternal kind – but you are loved. Deeply. Unconditionally.” He loved her. Always had, always would. And Iv may be angry with her, but she still loved her too.
“And your mother is a dick too,” he added, shifting to try and get back into her field of vision. “She's so far up her own ass she can't possibly see anything but her. Probably why she keeps turning her nose up, too. But you aren't trash. She isn't worth the tears. She's failed you and herself by not connecting more with the gift that is you.”
Ann snorted air out of her nose. Her dad was a dick. Dmitry was right. She stopped when Dmitry stopped them, looking at him. His words went straight to her core and she found that she may now be crying for a different reason now than before. To hear that she was loved, whether it was maternal or not, touched her deeply and she tried to hold on to that feeling.
She gave a watery giggle when he called her mom a dick, too, and didn’t fight him when he tried to stay in her line of vision. She met his eyes and held them, wondering why in the world she’d ever separated from him. But then she’d remembered he had loved his experiments more than her, or so she had felt, but then maybe even then she’d been messed up because of her own parents.
She gave him a smile and then she moved to toss her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug. She needed it. “Thank you,” she murmured as she held him tight. “You are a wonderful man and I’m extremely lucky to have you in my life,” as little as it was these days. “I don’t know how my life got so screwed up, Dmitry. It was supposed to be so perfect….” She let out a small sigh as she pulled back slightly. “Do you think...would it be possible if I just stay with you tonight? I won’t bother you, but I don’t want to go home and be alone.”
He hugged her back tight, feeling happy that he was managing to make her feel better, at least for right now. That she seemed to accept that she was loved – that part was especially important. “I'm lucky to have you too,” he told her genuinely. “I would definitely have died by now if you weren't checking up on me.” He gave her a squeeze, and then turned them in the direction of his place. “The world isn't perfect, Ann. But that's okay. Your life isn't screwed up, you just need to...” he paused, searching for the right word. “...re-calibrate,” he settled on. “And you've got all the time in the world to do that. No one's rushing you, okay? And any help you want from me is all yours, including my place and company,” he assured her. “And tonight I'm all yours, okay? No projects, just us together.”
Recalibrate. The word made her giggle slightly. Of course he’d use a mechanical word like that, but it was a good one and she understood. Nothing needed to make sense right now, she just needed a little time and patience and everything would soon fall into place as it should. Or so she hoped. Relieved she wouldn’t have to go home to her apartment to be alone, she hooked her arm through his and walked beside him. If she let herself think back in time, she would say this was like old times, when they were young. He’d been a good man, even back then. Someone she could trust.
When he told her no projects, she looked over at him a little astonished. Pulling Dmitry away from whatever gadget he was working on was a difficult task in itself, but here he was offering his time to her. “You don’t have to do that, Dmitry,” she said quietly. “I could watch you work on whatever you are working on if need be. I’ve already interrupted you, I wouldn’t want to keep you from it.” But oh, how nice it would be to just sit with him, maybe even curl up with him and pretend her life was back to where it should be.
“I know I don't have to, I want to,” he assured her. “Look, it's been a rough time for you lately. You've got a lot going on. The least I can do is be around to help you through it. You were certainly there for me when I was having difficult times,” he said. “So...don't worry about it. My projects will still be there tomorrow.” Plus a little time away might be good for him, too. Sometimes putting something down was the answer, and he couldn't think of a better reason to put something down than to spend time with Ann.