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Daani Johal ([info]princessdaani) wrote in [info]20somethings,
@ 2022-03-07 21:38:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:c: daani johal, c: juliet nott, d: 2028 03, ~ complete, Ω: rp

RP: A nasty shock
Who: Daani & Jules
What: Daani sees something upsetting
When: 7th March, evening
Where: Daani's cottage
Warnings: Discussing breakup, maybe miscarriage etc.
Completion Status: Complete



Daani finished work earlier and had some time to wait while the rice she was cooking to go with her leftovers meal finished up. She was idly scrolling through Winstagram and didn't register at first. Now that people tagged by others showed up on feeds for those who followed either she was sometimes surprised by random posts. This one was Manny and he was clearly cooking for someone else. She thought it was cute, she'd always liked that they traded off cooking. Then she saw the '#datenight' and a weight dropped into her stomach.

She fumbled her phone for a few moments, slightly numb in her shock. It took her a few long moments to navigate away from the app and to her contacts. Immediately she called Tina, always her go-to, but there was no answer after several rings. Probably on a date of her own. She did manage to leave a voicemail. "Hey, just seen Manny is dating again and I don't," she sighed, running a hand over her hair. "I'm going to phone someone else, but I've seen it. Let me know when you pick this up?" It might not make as much sense as her usual composure would suggest, but she wasn't quite sure if she was coming or going.

After a few seconds of staring blankly at her contacts she poked the call icon next to Jules' name, starting absently to pace up and down her tiny kitchen.


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[info]nottyjules
2022-03-08 02:53 am UTC (link)
Something had been poking at the back of her mind, somewhere deep in her subconscious, for over a week, and it had annoyed Jules that she couldn't figure out just what it was. Usually these Feelings meant that someone close to her was going through something difficult or life changing, but the Feelings were also usually more specific. Like when she'd Known that something major was going on with Holly and Alexander, though Holly was one of the easiest for her to channel from a distance, their years of friendship creating a rather solid foundation. It was surprisingly easy with Tina, too, though she suspected it might be because Tina was so open psychically.

And so it was relief she felt when her phone rang and she saw Daani's name on the screen and the Senses went a bit crazy. Whatever had been happening was connected to Daani. She tapped the screen to accept the call, bringing the phone to her ear. "Hello," she greeted the other woman with a calm and warm friendliness.

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[info]princessdaani
2022-03-08 03:43 pm UTC (link)
"Hey Juliet," she said, feet coming to a halt. "I just saw a thing. I ... Manny started dating again. Are you free?" she asked, realising she was beginning to shake.

It was starting to really sink in and she didn't know what to do with herself or say. "He didn't...I wasn't... I don't want to be alone right now," her voice betraying that she was a the edge of tears.

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[info]nottyjules
2022-03-08 03:51 pm UTC (link)
The emotions were so thick in Daani's voice that Jules was certain she could feel them herself, not unheard of for her even from a distance, but certainly rare through a phone call. Her heart broke for her friend, knowing that Daani had hoped for things to eventually sort themselves out with Manny.

"Of course you don't! I can be over in five?" she offered. "Unless you'd like to come here." Somehow she suspected Daani might prefer her own familiar setting.

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[info]princessdaani
2022-03-08 05:01 pm UTC (link)
She exhaled in relief and nodded even though Jules couldn't see it. "Thanks," she said. "Here. Here is good." At some point she would probably want or need to be out of this space, but right now it was comforting and she wasn't in the head space to try and travel somewhere new.

"You know the Floo, or where to Apparate," she said, brain supplying words with little conscious input. She tugged absently at the comfy knitted jumper she'd thrown on when she came home and moved over to her comfiest chair. "See you soon." She ended the call and curled herself up, sticking her bent knees up under her top, for once not caring in the slightest what it might do to the fabric. Her mind was racing, throwing out scenarios too fast for her to concentrate on despite her ability to process at live-translation speed.

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[info]nottyjules
2022-03-08 07:36 pm UTC (link)
"I'll be there shortly," Jules promised her before the call ended. She didn't need to do much to get ready, not bothering to change out of her paint-splattered jeans and black tee shirt. She slid her feet into a pair of flats, grabbed her wand, and apparated just inside the entryway of Daani's flat.

Her hair was in a long plait over her shoulder, and she fidgeted with it with one hand while the other tucked her wand away. "Daani?" she called out, not spotting her friend right away.

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[info]princessdaani
2022-03-08 08:47 pm UTC (link)
Drifting in and out of focus Daani wasn't really paying attention to what was going on around her, but Juliet's voice managed to break through. "In here," she said, her voice strangled. She sucked in a breath and her nose was assaulted by the beginnings of an acrid smell.

"Shit the rice," she uncharacteristically swore and tried to scramble towards the kitchen. She got a little caught in her jumper and stumbled, managing to right herself with the help of grabbing onto the wall. She yanked the pan off the stove and killed the power. "We're not telling anyone I burned the rice," she said with force as she spun back around to try and greet Jules.

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[info]nottyjules
2022-03-08 08:59 pm UTC (link)
Jules was right behind her, heading into the kitchen and already pulling her wand back out as she went. "What rice?" she asked, her lips pressed in a thin line to hide her small grin as she vanished the mess in the pan. It would still need to be cleaned, but the rice and most of the acrid scent disappeared.

"Should we order in?" she suggested, thinking that even if Daani was able to eat, she probably wouldn't want to bother with the effort of cooking.

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[info]princessdaani
2022-03-08 11:04 pm UTC (link)
The swift backup surprised a smile out of Daani. It was understandable but mildly mortifying to burn something she'd been cooking since she started to learn.

She nodded and sighed, moving on automatic to her small collection of takeaway menus. "Pizza, it's the best thing in the area, and I'm gonna need carbs," she said in a bland tone. She handed Jules the menu, already knowing the order she would default to. Veggie pizza with added chilli and garlic.

"Manny's cooking for his date," she said, a note of bitterness in her voice. She pushed back through into the living room after putting the pan in the sink for later.

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[info]nottyjules
2022-03-09 01:07 am UTC (link)
Jules took the menu from Daani and made a note of her friend's preference before stepping aside to call the order in. She only ordered the one pizza, thinking it sounded quite good and not bothered by the lack of meat. She offered Daani a sympathetic smile as she passed the menu back so it could be put away.

"That must be really difficult to know," she commented softly, a bit lost as to help Daani through this, but more than willing to try. "Is that something he used to do for you?" It seemed likely if it were upsetting her so much.

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[info]princessdaani
2022-03-09 01:25 am UTC (link)
Making her way back to a comfy chair Daani curled up again, curling her arms around her knees. "Yeah, we used to trade off cooking, taught each other some things, argued about which family's recipe to follow." The happy memories were bringing a lot of bitter with their sweet for the moment.

"This would have been easier if I didn't find out scrolling on my phone," she said quietly. "Not that he owes me anything, but I was hoping I'd find out from a person if this ever happened."

Her face crumpled into a picture of sorrow. "Dammit I still love him, and I wasn't prepared," she gasped with a distinctly wet sniffle. She definitely lost a little control of her language as her emotions roiled, appreciating the emphasis provided by the words she'd long since absorbed, but only rarely used.

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[info]nottyjules
2022-03-09 02:02 am UTC (link)
It sounded as though she and Manny had had a wonderful, close relationship, and she couldn't imagine how painful it must have been to lose it. She knew enough about what had happened to know that Daani had brought at least some of it on herself by keeping things from him and breaking things off, but she also knew from the visions she'd had last summer just how Daani's grief and pain had pushed her to shut down and shut him out.

"Oh love," she breathed, her heart bursting with sympathy for the other woman. "I don't think anyone could fault you for hurting at finding out that way."

This wasn't the sort of situation where logic would help, and she wasn't always great at logic anyway. She sat in the chair across from Daani, tucking her knees at an angle in front of her on the seat. "I can't imagine trying to move past that sort of love." She wanted to ask if Daani thought she might be willing to try dating soon, but it felt insensitive, and so she held it back.

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[info]princessdaani
2022-03-09 03:06 pm UTC (link)
"It wasn't him that posted it, and I might not have spotted it another time, so I don't exactly blame him," she said softly, tracing aimless patterns on her arms.

Despite the gnawing pit of pain and despair in her stomach Daani had to admit something. "Even if it's not with me I want him to be happy," she said. "I would like it to be with me, but I can be okay with it being elsewhere. Eventually at least," she added with a sigh.

Her feelings were throwing her in every direction, flipping from one thing to the next with very little prompting. "I'd only just found out that he's definitely been doing some processing and feeling his feelings about the pregnancy, so it was a bit of a shock," she said. "Although that was probably months ago."

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[info]nottyjules
2022-03-09 03:51 pm UTC (link)
Oh gods, was it better or worse that the woman he was on a date with had posted it? If it were Holly, she might have suggested Winsta-stalking the woman and trash talking her posts, a coping technique she'd learned from Athena and Hailey. Daani had always struck her as classier than that, at much better at compartmentalizing.

"I think, when it comes down to it, that's what love is, isn't it?" she posed softly. She could Feel how much Daani loved him, and she hated knowing that this one might not be a happy ending.

Juliet's brows furrowed at that, thinking that it had been an awfully long time since Daani had told Manny about the miscarriage--over six months, if she remembered correctly--definitely long enough for him to have processed his feelings on the matter. "How have you done with processing your own feelings about it all?" She had to think that telling Manny about it had helped her find a measure of closure.

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[info]princessdaani
2022-03-09 04:53 pm UTC (link)
It took several long moments of Daani sorting through her thoughts on the topic but she eventually nodded a little sadly. "I want to hate him, or even hate her, but I don't really think I can," she said. "Unless she turns out to be terrible, but I can't imagine him dating an actually terrible person."

"The counselling is helping a lot and I definitely have more days where it doesn't come up in my thoughts or doesn't bother me if it does," she said. She uncurled herself slightly, wriggling her sock-covered toes. "I'll admit that his brother asking me about it at lunch last week kind of threw me. It's how I know he managed to move past the professional reactions only though, so I appreciate it."

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[info]nottyjules
2022-03-09 07:17 pm UTC (link)
Hatred seemed like a self-destructive emotion to harbor, and Jules was glad that Daani couldn't seem to hold onto it. "Certainly not," she murmured.

As Daani talked about therapy and then lunch with his brother, Jules became overwhelmed with the Sense that her friend needed something a bit more and different than just a sympathetic ear. She unfolded herself from the chair and crossed to where Daani sat. Perching on the arm of her chair, she slid an arm around Daani's thin shoulders, pulling her close.

"It definitely makes sense that it feels fresh again, with it all stirred up so recently. You are so strong for taking all these steps though," she said, her hand rubbing small circles over her sleeve-covered arm.

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[info]princessdaani
2022-03-09 11:03 pm UTC (link)
Daani hadn't quite realised just how much she needed that physical comfort until Jules provided it. She shifted the little bit sideways to take solace from the presence of another person. As much as she had come to appreciate living alone and setting her own agenda as well as being able to be away from where she'd shared a life with Manny.

"Well I'm certainly doing my best," she said. She wasn't sure if she felt especially strong. "I definitely wasn't expecting the lunch thing. We still get on, which makes sense since we've known each other longer, but I definitely feel like he got stuck in the middle. At least it's not as awkward at work anymore." The early days had been incredibly difficult at times.

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[info]nottyjules
2022-03-10 02:17 am UTC (link)
Touch was a double-edged sword for Jules, as someone who craved it on a visceral level but who also could be bombarded with visions upon skin contact. Thankfully, she'd learned to be careful with contact, and she made sure that her hands stayed on Daani's clothes. She definitely wanted to avoid seeing whatever memories were haunting her friend at that moment.

"You're doing brilliantly," she reiterated. Anyone with a heart would struggle with what Daani had gone through--with what she was still going through. "That's really good. Ministry work has always seemed so stressful to me, I can't imagine adding personal stresses on top of it." She wanted to ask more questions about Manny's brother. Had she met Manny through him? Had they been friends a long time? There was a lot she didn't know about Daani, but she also didn't want Daani fixated any more on the past than she already was.

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[info]princessdaani
2022-03-10 03:58 pm UTC (link)
With a heavy sigh Daani pulled back slightly from how she'd been leaning against Jules and stretched, her body apparently not ready to sit still for any long period. She stretched out one leg and flopped back slightly to look at the ceiling. "You know after the initial month where I was having to give it everything I had to hold it together and attempt to keep up with my work I actually found it helpful. Translating takes so much brain power that it stops you thinking about anything else. Especially live translation." She was passionate about her job, mentally exhausting as it could be.

Just then the bell rang and she jumped, having forgotten about the pizza. "'Scuse me," she said, automatically getting to her feet past Jules. "Just a minute," she yelled at the driver as she scrabbled to retrieve the right purse. Normally she wouldn't want strangers to see her in this state, but she wasn't really paying attention to her appearance as she finally found her muggle money after a round of irritable muttering; remembering after a few seconds to just summon it.

The exchange with the delivery driver was brief and she returned shortly after with a scorching hot box of pizza. It smelled as good as ever. Her stomach obligingly growled at her.

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[info]nottyjules
2022-03-10 04:29 pm UTC (link)
When Daani pulled away and stretched, Jules took it as indication that the moment for physical comfort had passed. She quietly went back to the other chair, listening as she talked about her work, glad that it was a good distraction for her.

Before she could comment on it, the bell rang and Jules furrowed her brows as she watched her friend handle the transaction. She would have paid for the pizza herself if Daani hadn't jumped to it so quickly, and she felt a bit guilty, as it had been her idea to order in.

"That smells delicious," she said with a small grin when she heard Daani's stomach growl. It was good that she had an appetite despite all of the emotional turmoil.

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[info]princessdaani
2022-03-10 06:05 pm UTC (link)
"I didn't think I was going to want to eat," she said, rubbing absently at her stomach. "But apparently my body has demands."

She used her wand to move a few things around on the table between the two chairs, not really wanting to sit anywhere less comfortable at the moment. "I've done a bit of a try of all the local takeaway places since I moved in and this is definitely the best if you're veggie. Well, since I can make most Indian food I want to eat as well as the restaurants." One of them did have a tandoor and someone who was good at using it, so sometimes she got fresh naan, but mostly didn't think to bother.

"What's your favourite food?" she asked, curious all of a sudden about the woman who had twice run to her aid now.

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[info]nottyjules
2022-03-11 03:04 am UTC (link)
"I can't get Muggle delivery at home, unfortunately. We're a bit too far out, so I have to rely on the magical delivery services or just go get it myself," she said with a small sigh. It was one of the things she missed most about her Uni days.

The question should have been an easy one to answer, yet it wasn't. "I'm not sure I have a favorite. I love all sorts of food, and I have a terrible sweet tooth," Jules admitted. There was little she wouldn't try, either, and she wasn't a vegan or vegetarian and didn't have any allergies, so her options weren't limited in those ways.

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[info]princessdaani
2022-03-11 04:06 pm UTC (link)
Summoning a couple of napkins for greasy fingers Daani flipped open the box and nodded. "Yeah I couldn't either at my old place, but we did it once in a while when I was living with my parents," she said. "At least in London there's plenty of places to choose from."

"You should let me take you to an Indian sweet shop," Daani said. "Everything is incredibly sweet and/or soaked in syrup. It's so good." It took a lot of discipline to not come away from the shops she knew with far, far too much food. She couldn't help but think about times she and Manny had shared such treats. In fact almost all of her thoughts were flashing briefly to Manny at the moment and it twisted in her guts every time.

She sighed as she reached for a first slice of pizza. "I think I'm going to be back on everything is going to hurt for a while," she said sadly. It had been a long time since almost every thought had hurt her like this. Although it was a new and different kind of pain now. The rawness of the breakup was long gone, but the newness of Manny's latest decision was also super painful in a slightly different way.

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[info]nottyjules
2022-03-11 07:40 pm UTC (link)
"I'd love to, anytime," Jules said, enjoying the thought of trying sweets from her Indian culture. Growing up, there hadn't been a highly varied ethnic cuisine, especially with home cooked meals, but her parents had indulged in a variety of take out from other cultures sometimes.

Jules smiled sympathetically at her friend as she pulled a slice of pizza from the box. "I don't think anyone can blame you for that. It's all churned up again with a pretty significant milestone about," she pointed out, waving her free hand pointedly.

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[info]princessdaani
2022-03-11 09:23 pm UTC (link)
"Maybe I should pull some people together and do that soon," she said wistfully. "Party full of snack food and sweets," she mused. It was a fun thought, although just taking a few friends to buy and absurd amount at a sweet shop would work too. "Just ply everyone with sugar and try not to vomit at the end."

In lieu of answering immediately Daani shoved the slice of pizza she'd grabbed into her mouth. It was a bit hot, but she breathed through it, probably avoiding burning her mouth by a whisker. "At least this is still good," she said after she'd chewed and swallowed. "This is all so annoying, and I know he's a good date, because he managed to convince me even though I'd sworn not to date a medic."

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[info]nottyjules
2022-03-16 03:06 am UTC (link)
"That sounds like a fantastic time!" Jules said encouragingly, pleased to see Daani finding something to look forward to. More distractions seemed like the perfect idea during this difficult time. Though a part of her wondered what Manny might do if Daani went to him and professed her love, she knew this wasn't a movie. It was entirely possible doing so would only bring her friend more heartache, and she desperately wanted her to find happiness in this new path she'd forged.

"You did?" she prompted, curious about that. "My brother's a healer," she added a beat later. "The oldest one, I mean. He's quite good at it, but he works a lot." She could imagine how that would make forging a relationship difficult, and she had to wonder at how Peter and Addison had managed. They were going on a year next month, if she remembered correctly.

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[info]princessdaani
2022-03-16 11:24 pm UTC (link)
She considered and looked at the date on her phone. "Holi's coming up in a couple of weeks. It's more a Hindu thing than a Sikh one, but my family always joined in. Manny and I always joined in," she said tailing off a little sadly and sighing. It was starting to sink in that Manny had met someone else and wouldn't be doing things as 'part of the family' any time soon. "I should organise it for after the big colour party to distract myself."

"Yeah, my mother is a healer too, I saw how much work it was. How much got pushed on my dad and I the irregular shift patterns and I didn't want that." She shrugged a little helplessly. "But he convinced me to have coffee with him, and one thing led to another and I ended up falling for him. Hard." It was such a bittersweet feeling, remembering their early days, how far they came and how badly it ended.

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[info]nottyjules
2022-03-17 06:15 pm UTC (link)
"I don't really know what Holi is," Jules admitted softly, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment. She really ought to look more into other cultures. At the very least, she'd end up with a greater depth of knowledge, and who knew what sort of inspiration she would find in the process. There really were no downsides to it.

Her brows furrowed a bit as she listened, surprised that Manny had managed to convince her to give him a chance if she'd been so impacted by her mother's job. But love had a way of doing that, she thought, images of Raziel flashing through her mind unbidden. He'd terrified her at first, that mysterious mixing of their gifts, and she'd wanted nothing to do with him. And now, she loved him so much that she couldn't imagine him not being in her life. "Do you think it could have worked out in the long run? Considering the irregular shift patterns and long hours?" There was a part of Juliet that wondered if Daani had used the miscarriage as a cover to break up with him, the love she felt perhaps not enough to overcome the strain his job put on the relationship. She supposed that Daani's response--verbally and emotionally--would give her the answer to that.

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[info]princessdaani
2022-03-17 11:11 pm UTC (link)
"It's got religious significance about divine love and triumph of good over evil too, but it's a spring festival. The bit I always enjoy most is the colour parties where you where plain clothes, often white, get sprinkled in water and throw gulal powder at each other. It's bright coloured powder that stains everything. It's chaos. Beautiful and fun, but chaos." Daani smiled softly at memories of past Holi celebrations. She knew her experiences in the UK were not the same as what her parents had had growing up in India, but she enjoyed it all the same.

Daani had a good long think while she chewed on a slice of pizza, passing through several mouthfuls while she considered a few different angles. "We were both pretty career focussed," she admitted. "Still are as far as I know, but we'd pushed through my translator training and we were almost at the end of his Healer training. And as hard as it was a kid living it as an adult was different," she said slowly. "We were finding ways to make it work, making sure we made what time for each other we could. Taking joy in each other's successes," she said. Then she sobered slightly. "Of course we bickered, and argued, but nothing that said to me that we couldn't work through it, until the end. I'd already been thinking about the possibility of marrying him, and having children with him." The smile she gave was sad, too drained to cry again for the moment. She couldn't bring herself to regret anything about their relationship beyond her actions at the end. She wouldn't have agreed to moving in together if she hadn't already been serious, and yet she'd managed to screw it up beyond belief.

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[info]nottyjules
2022-03-21 10:35 pm UTC (link)
Juliet's eyes lit up at the description, thinking it sounded wonderful in every way. "Ooh, that sounds beautiful and fun. Is it the sort of thing that's... culturally insular?" she asked, not sure if she was using the right words. "Or is it the sort of things outsiders are welcome to join in on?" It seemed right to clarify her question with that one. She was definitely going to be looking into it more either way, though.

Patient while Daani thought it over, Jules nodded slightly when her friend finally answered, paying as much attention to the emotions radiating from Daani as she was to the words spoken. There was pain and regret and longing, but there was also a layer of confidence beneath it all, a strength that Jules recognized as the simpler answer to her question than the words Daani had chosen. Daani clearly believed she and Manny could have worked, and knowing that without a doubt, Jules felt her heart break for her friend all over again.

"Do you think you might be open to finding someone knew? Or do you think he was The One?" Did Daani believe that there was a 'The One'? Jules wasn't certain whether she did. When she looked at her parents, it seemed easy to believe in soul mates, not able to imagine either of them with anyone else. And yet, she knew that many couples never worked out, many marriages failed, and nearly all of them had thought themselves in love, hadn't they? The thought of The One was as exciting as it was depressing.

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[info]princessdaani
2022-03-22 12:51 am UTC (link)
There was a particular smile that threatened at the corners of Daani's mouth as Jules stumbled through her question, but she managed well enough long before Daani even considered stepping in to save her. She did make an amused sound before she answered. "It depends on exactly where you go, but some are definitely open to anyone, and there are some muggle companies that run events around this time of year and not, that are just fun with coloured powder. You should come along, I've brought friends before," she said. "I think it's the 19th of March this year where I'm going." She couldn't quite be bothered to bring out her phone and check.

There were several long moments where Daani looked like she was about to say something and then seemed to second guess herself with a little frown or shake of the head. It culminated in a long sigh. "Honestly I don't know. This is all a bit raw and fresh again. Maybe eventually I'll be open to it, but right now it's all a bit much." She glanced over her shoulder at the mostly dark skies and tried to look for something she wasn't seeing. "I don't know if I'd say he's The One, but I'd thought we'd chosen each other for long term, you know?" She'd expected forever, but at least a significant chunk of time in proportion to their lifespans. It hadn't really been that, even if it did come with some impact.

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[info]nottyjules
2022-03-23 10:36 pm UTC (link)
When Daani said the date, Jules deflated a bit, mild disappointment coursing through her. "Oh, that's the weekend of my birthday. Raziel has asked me to keep my calendar clear for it. He won't tell me what he's planned, though," she confided. Holi sounded so wonderful, and she regretted that she wouldn't be around to experience it this year. Not enough to cancel whatever plans her boyfriend had made, however. She wondered if it was something Raziel would be interested in. Maybe they would do it next year.

Jules nodded at that answer, thinking it made a lot of sense. She hoped that Daani would heal enough to be open to finding love again, and she was sure someone extraordinary was out there for her, even if it wasn't Manny, as a part of Daani still seemed to hope. "I understand. I think you'll find someone exceptionally wonderful once you're ready for it," she said encouragingly.

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[info]princessdaani
2022-03-24 04:20 pm UTC (link)
Daani couldn't help but deflate too, she would definitely want Juliet there if she organised that sort of event. "Oh, well it doesn't have to be then, I can do it another time. You should definitely prioritise fun plans for your birthday if he's got something planned."

"Yeah, I hope so," she said giving her a with a rueful little smile. She thought she had, and then she'd messed it up, and eventually she'd be ready to try that again. At least the initial sting of finding out Manny was dating was starting to soften slightly with the help of a friend and some pizza.

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