Beau Rosier (beaurosier) wrote in 20somethings, @ 2021-11-05 20:28:00 |
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Entry tags: | c: beau rosier, d: 2027 11, ~ complete, Ω: rp |
RP: Family fireworks
Who: Beau, his family
What: Beau comes out to his parents
When: 5 November 2027
Warnings: Language, homophobia
Completion status: Complete
Beau pushed a piece of broccoli around his plate. He hadn’t had much of an appetite for the last few days, subsisting mainly on coffee and smoothies, far too anxious to eat much of anything beyond basic fuel. Since he was taking it easy after wrapping on By the Grace of St. Mungo, he at least didn’t have his trainer giving him disapproving looks. But tonight he was expecting plenty of other disapproving looks. At the very minimum, he’d bleached his hair last weekend, which was sure to bring up some remarks.
Tonight was the night. He was going to tell his parents. The plan was to tell them exactly who he really was sometime after dessert when they’d all had a few glasses of wine and were feeling relaxed and happy from good food. It wasn’t the most solid of plans, but he and Belle had talked at length and hopefully it would help the news sink in more easily.
Things hadn’t got off to a good start. His parents had chosen to ignore the fact that he had been vegan for nearly a decade and had served steak. Worse, this wasn’t the first time they’d done something like that.
Still, Beau was attempting to remain optimistic. Maybe this time they would not only listen to him but actually understand what he was saying, not just dismiss it like they had his dietary preferences time and time again. This wasn’t a preference, after all, this was something that he was. Whether they were supportive or not, Beau was making the choice to live his life with pride. Maybe one day he would even introduce them to Nate.
Felix and Pippa Rosier, however, managed to derail Beau’s plan before they had even finished the main course by bringing up his least favourite topic.
“You look very fine with that young actress,” Felix remarked, looking at Beau over his wine glass. “Is there anything going on behind the scenes that we should know about?”
Beau put down his fork and reached for his drink. He knew exactly who they meant: Lynn Quigley, the Kaitlyn Yang to his Jayden Burke. He’d enjoyed the chemistry on set, too, and Silviya had promised an interesting journey for the two intense Healers, but it was just acting, however beautiful and alluring she might be. Even if he had been interested in her, Beau had picked up on vibes that Lynn was very much unavailable even if they never discussed their private lives.
Not for the first time he realised that he wasn’t sure his father had ever truly understood acting at all and that it might even be a phase that his son would grow out of. “No, Dad. She’s just a colleague. Nothing happening there.”
“That’s a shame, darling,” Pippa said. She gave her son a warm smile. “You know, by the time we were your age…”
“You were already married,” Beau finished. How many times had they used that line on him? More and more as the years had gone on. “I know, Mum.” So close to making his announcement, it just irritated him and he pursed his lips to stop any snide remarks from creeping out.
Pippa gave him a hopeful look, not for the first time. “Is there any special lady, Beau?” she ventured. “You’re thirty now. You really do deserve someone special to share your life with.”
Silent for a long moment, Beau finally made eye contact. “Maybe there might be someone. But he’s not sure I’m ready for a relationship yet.”
Across the table, Belle’s head snapped up, her eyes wide. She knew what Beau had planned, but this was going off script in a serious way. As she opened her mouth to say something, perhaps to steer the conversation elsewhere, their mother interrupted with a perplexed, “Beau?”
“Yeah, he thinks I need to date a little more before we try making a go of it,” he continued smoothly now that the forbidden pronoun had been spoken. The way he felt about Nate was complex and he needed the time and space to grow into those feelings. Beau was more ready than he had ever been, but right now that space was going to take the form of dating. Beau wanted to live and love as his whole self, not just a shadow, and there was still a little bit further to go until he could make the commitment that Nate deserved. Maybe it would work out between them or maybe whatever they had would prove itself to be something that only flourished in the dark. Only time would tell.
“Stop it.” Red wine splashed on the tablecloth as Felix banged down his glass. “We don’t joke about things like that, Beaumont.”
Beau reclined as much as he could against the formal dining chair, the set of his head and shoulders projecting his determination. Under the table, he felt Belle kick his foot. He appreciated his sister’s concern, but it was out there now and he had to keep going. “I’ve never been more serious in my life.” His fingers slid along the slim stem of his wine glass. “I date men just as much as I date women. More, actually.” The prospect of dating freely, of being able to be open about who he chose to love was tantalisingly close now. This dining table was the largest hurdle to get over and he’d be damned if he let the curl of his father’s lip stop him from reaching the finish line.
“So I’m sorry,” he continued glibly, “but I may never actually find that special lady that you’re so keen to tie me down to.”
He hadn’t expected silence. Belle, sitting directly opposite him, managed to meet his eyes and smile encouragingly with the Macmillan cheerfulness that Beau had never inherited. He could feign it with the best of them, but it had never come as naturally to him as it did others.
“Beau, sweetheart.” Pippa’s gentle voice with her soft Scottish burr somehow felt like pinpricks to his eyes; Beau blinked, exhaling through his nose. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Because he was ashamed. As he should be.”
“Dad!”
That one syllable of outrage made Beau exceedingly glad that he had told his sister in advance. That one word was all that stopped his heart from beating like a hummingbird’s wings and exploding in his chest. This moment was more than fifteen years in the making and it was every bit as horrible as he’d thought it would be.
“It’s unnatural. Beaumont knows exactly what I mean. He’s been corrupted by deviant actors and homosexuals.”
“Is it 2027 or 1927?” Beau wondered softly, the world becoming quiet and still around him as background bickering faded and his thoughts became focused. It was as though someone had cast lux and illuminated his mind bright and clear.
“Now, Felix.” Beau didn’t know how his mother could still sound so calm when he was clenching his teeth so hard that his jaw hurt.
“Dad.” He looked squarely at his father. “I am a deviant actor. And a bloody good one if I’ve had you fooled for the last sixteen years.” He’d been fourteen years old when he’d realised the truth about himself and kept it hidden since then.
He had anticipated a lot from this revelation but he hadn’t expected the feeling of numbness like he was floating a few inches from his body and not really in control of his limbs. It helped, though. It helped the next insult just wash over him as he pushed back his chair. It helped as he left his sorry excuse for a meal on the table.
“If you leave, don’t come back.”
Beau nodded. He’d expected that line, too. If he’d drawn up a bingo card, he would have won by now. “Don’t worry. I won’t.”
Reassured by the sound of his sister’s footsteps following him, Beau held his head up and refused to look back at his parents. Outside the house, he finally stopped, gravel crunching under his shoes. Belle slipped her arm through his, resting her head on his shoulder. “I’m so proud of you.”
Beau swallowed. One of the worst things about real life was that you didn’t have someone writing your words for you. All of the most dramatic moments in his life had been scripted. Except this one. “I wish I’d been wrong.”
He felt Belle nod. “Me too, Bobo,” she whispered. “What are you going to do?”
Distant popping filled the air and Beau looked up to see fireworks set off by local Muggles. He watched them for a few moments as the sparks fizzled. “Tonight? I’m thinking drunk karaoke with my little sister.” His phone weighed heavy in his pocket and he considered texting Nate, but he knew he’d only end up bringing up the question of whether he should actually date other people or not.
“And tomorrow?”
“I don’t know? First day of the rest of my life?” How bloody trite it felt to say that. “I’ve got a list of things I want to do. But I don’t know where to start.”
He was going to tell people who he really was, even though it was likely the worst-kept secret in showbiz.
He was going to date, even though it would be performative as fuck because there was only one person he wanted to be with.
And he was going to be okay.