Beau looked up at Nate. A dam was about to break somewhere inside him and the hands on his hips were the only thing stopping him from being swept away. "I don't know how." He could see something more in Nate's expression and that was another thing that his exhausted brain would have to figure out. How did he really feel about Nate? He'd tucked away his feelings about other men for so long, only having relationships almost entirely based on lust, that he couldn't even tell if he was being honest with himself. Was it just familiarity and trust that brought him back to Nate's bed time after time or was there more there?
Getting distance from Nate to work through that question was a good idea, but not a decision that Beau wanted to make right now. He embraced Nate, face meeting the crook of the taller man's neck and pushing away the bit of guilt that popped up accusing him of sending mixed signals. He meant it when he said he wanted to stop hurting people, but his desire for physical touch and comfort was winning out in this moment.
"It's not going to be this week or next," he warned quietly, eyes closed. "I need to do this right." For every person that knew his truth, there were a dozen others who would be blindsided.