Not much had changed with Jean as of lately but she was starting to feel like she was really a part of something here. There had been ups and downs but mostly it was a routine and whether or not she wanted to admit it, she needed it sometimes. Once her and Kerr finally got King in his cage she let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. “Good lord that crowd was damn routy tonight. Thought I was gonna have to scream till I couldn’t scream no more just so the cats could hear me.”
Her bejeweled outfit had seen better days and she made it a point to take it to the seamstress but it wasn’t revealing too much of its tired material yet. “How you been anyhow? I seen you wandering around with a few gentlemen here and there.” She winked. It was a tease, harmless jab at Kerr like she did to most of the people she’d ever considered a friend.
“They’ve better hearing than you give’em credit for.” Kerr chuckled as King chuffed in their direction. She proceeded to feed each of the large cats their dinner, and reward for a good show. When Kristoph had asked her to help out with Jean’s show, she didn’t think she’d be doing much. Thankfully she didn’t have to really be up on stage, or part of the performance parts of the show. But from off stage she was able to signal to Jean if one of the cats needed a break, or wasn’t interested in doing one of the tricks before they failed. She was also able to help keep them calm in a way, just by understanding them and being able to know what they needed. For example, they discovered Sheeba needed extra scratches behind the ear when she did something good, and King liked to show how grand and powerful he was… and they’d been able to work such things into the show. “Though, people do seem to be louder in general now.”
As she rinsed out the meat bucket and washed her hands she glanced at Jean, blushing slightly. “It’s not like- they’re friends. Edward is teaching me how to read and Marty…” Well, he’d helped her see her ‘gender choices’ as something that was possible. She’d even told Jean about the ‘non-binary’ thing, and while they both agreed it was a strange concept, it did fit how Kerr felt about herself. “He’s different.”
She smiled at Kerr, out of anyone here she deserved some attention the most. “Different how? I want to hear all the details.” Well maybe not all of them, Jean didn’t want to hear the intimate details of their sex life but she did want to know if he was treating her well. Over the last six months she’d really come to like Kerr as a friend and she wanted to make sure someone like her wasn’t being taken advantage of.
Jean knew men and she knew what their motivations often were. If she could protect her from men with bad intentions then at least she could keep her friend somewhat innocent. Jean herself had lost her innocence long ago.
“He’s very forward.” She said with a laugh. “It’s a little off putting at times, especially when not expected.” Kerr had started to expect anything to come out of Marty’s mouth. “And he’s very confident, which can be intimidating at times…” She shrugged slightly. “But he knows I’m female and- well you know.” She waved her hand in a reminder about their conversation about gender. “And he still… wants to be around me.” Her teeth chewed on her lip slightly. “Even though he lived in the 1920s, he’s clearly not a man from that time anymore… different.”
Somewhere along the line Jean got lost. Sure she knew there were some interesting people around here who could do some very fantastical things but a man being a hundred years old just didn’t add up to her. Maybe it was just because she was a small town girl but she figured she’d get the hang of it all eventually. “Ain’t nothing wrong with being forward, hell when I first met you I came onto you faster than a tiger to a carcass. Long as he don’t pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do, then have fun with it.”
“He’d be a damned fool not to want to be around you, you’re as good as they come and don’t ever let him tell you you’re not.” Men could be gruesome, she’d seen it in so many of her peers growing up and she thanked whatever higher power there was that she was born unattracted to them. “You tell me if you ever feel like you’re not good enough, promise?”
Problem was, she always felt not good enough. But that was damage done long before she’d met anyone at Zion. “I’m nothin’ special Jean.” She said, with a shrug as she picked up the cat’s harnesses for cleaning. Sheeba made a whining noise and Kerr looked over to her. “I know it’s itchy, I’ll try to fix it tonight.” Putting the fancy ‘costumes’ over her arm she closed the curtains over the tiger’s cage and nodded to Jean that they were done and started toward the pens and her tent to drop off the work for later. “And I suppose you did come on strong. I think I was caught off guard more than anything.” She admitted.
With the comment that she wasn’t anything special, Jean shook her head. Kerr was a kind person and she didn’t want to see her get hurt. She grabbed her friend's shoulders so that she was looking Jean straight in the eye. “You know that’s not true. I want you to repeat after me, alright?” She took a deep breath as she closed her eyes before opening them to look at Kerr again.
“I am a strong, intelligent person who deserves the best in life.” She waited for Kerr to follow suit, raising her eyebrows at her friend to indicate she should do as she says.
“Jean… I’m a formerly illiterate orphan escaped convict with no real education who lived most her life on the street.” Kerr replied. “I’m lucky t’have what I do.” She reached up and placed a hand on the other woman’s, her fingers rough with the callous’ of manual labor. “It’s jus’ th’truth.”
“And I was considered the town floosie nevermind I never slept with any man. But I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and left so I could become something else.” She shook her head at Kerr.
“It’s not about where you’ve been but about how far you’ve come and from where I’m standing I don’t see an illiterate orphan escaped convict. I see a person who can read, who does honest work and takes good care of these animals.”
Kerr just shrugged and stepped out of Jean’s hold before moving in the direction of her tent to drop off the cat harnesses before they went to get some chow. “How much longer do y’think we’re gonna be here for?” She wondered. “Some a’the chickens have been a bit restless. I think we’ve been lucky there’ve been no alligators coming in for a snack.” Perhaps the other smells of Zion were a bit more deterring than a fresh meal of chicken. Sure, there were times they did kill a chicken to feed the carnival, but normally they used their eggs and bought meat from town- too few chickens to feed too many regular. But the petting zoo animals did helped provide eggs and milk as well as money for Zion, so keeping them from predators was a good thing. “Though I did have to chase a ferret off not to long ago that had gotten into the eggs.
Jean just shrugged as she began to get food out for the cats. Bit slabs on meat that they went crazy for. Sometimes she wanted a bit herself but she hunted every month or so so that she could save the meat for her kin. “You think anyone round here tells me anything? You’re bout the only friend I got round here anymore.” She thought about the Reverend and shivered at the idea that she had once considered him a friend.
“Well, I maybe met someone who might be more than a friend if you catch my drift.” She threw a slab of meat into the cage and watched as King devoured it. She purred at happiness. “She’s swell.”
“Really?” Kerr asked, nor normally one for gossip, but hearing her friend happy was nice. Of course there was part of her that worried if Jean got close with the other person… she’d find herself alone, just like she had with her aunt. “That’s wonderful.” She tried to sound cheerful. “Seems like I’m not your only friend after all.” She laughed.
Jean laughed out loud after that, grabbing her gut like it was the funniest joke in the world. “You know it ain’t too late to impress everyone here, I think I’ll have more friends than sense if you give me a little time.” She teased and walked over to her friend.
“I’m starving, how bout we get some grub?” She was always hungry after feeding the cats, she wished she could consume all that raw meat.
“Be the name on everyone’s lips- in a good way.” Kerr was getting better at being humorous, or witty. Comments she’d long kept to herself she was finding more confidence in saying. It was slow going, but it was progress. “Grub sounds brilliant. Lead the way.” It was nice to have Jean as a friend. Not just for the social companionship but for how she’d helped her learn her gifts and how much she enjoyed working with the other woman. She just hoped her having met someone wouldn’t follow the pattern she’d become accustomed to in her life and she’d find Jean leaving.