Ordinary Heroes: Bloodlines Xander/Dick R 9/?
Title: Bloodlines Chapter Nine Author: amejisuto Fandom: Buffy tVS/DC Universe Pairing: Xander Harris/Dick Grayson Pre-slash, Bat/Flash established relationship. Rating: R Disclaimer:Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made. Warnings/Squicks:Violence, death, people laughing themselves to death, and the use of the term tube socks. Summary: Xander has a day off and goes to a mall in the nice area of Gotham City. Stuff happens. Find all of Ordinary Heroes here. Beta'd by the wonderful suki_blue. Thank you sweets!
Notes: Wow. I actually got something written for this verse! I may have a cow! It only took eight months! ~headdesk~
Previously, on Bloodlines:
Finally Xander got tired of lying in bed, his brain running around like a hamster on a wheel. He grabbed his crutches and left the sanctuary of his bedroom and hobbled down to the library. A guy like Bruce Wayne had to have a complete collection of classics. That meant there was probably H. G. Wells, Conan Doyle, King, Koontz and quiet possibly Chandler and Parker. There had to be something good he could read.
Not many people knew Xander liked to read. The problem is he got bored with school books, the boring books Giles used to research, and would rather spork his eyes out than read the romances Buffy and Willow were fond of. Despite living on a Hellmouth he still enjoyed a good old fashioned horror book that let his brain relax because everyone but the intrepid couple and their dog was going to die, possibly the younger brother/sister/child would survive, but that was it. He didn't have to worry about saving anyone or if it was real, and could sit back and enjoy it when the sanctimonious bastard character was shot/mauled/eaten by an assassin/dinosaur/demon/scientific experiment gone wrong.
By the time he'd hopped down the stairs to the library he was out of breath and his armpits hurt like hell. On the bright side, maybe his arms would get stronger after dragging his bum leg around. When he entered the large room though, he stopped. There, sitting behind the desk was ...
"Hello. I don't believe we've formally met. I'm Bruce Wayne."
*****
And now, on with the show!
Chapter Nine
There were times when Xander really, really, really hated his brain. This was one of them. Mr. Wayne stood up and offered his hand to shake and Xander found himself babbling and wondering how to shake hands while on crutches.
There was also the temptation to say 'Holy Secret Identity, Batman!', but for some reason that felt way too corny.
"Hi. I'm Xander Harris, otherwise known as Gimpy. Well, for right now at least. Nice to meet you." And that had to be one of the dorkiest things he had ever said. Xander wondered if it was possible to hit himself in the head with one of his crutches without falling in the floor.
Mr. Wayne gave him a slight smile and motioned him to one of the chairs by the fireplace. "Please, sit. I know for a fact how much crutches hurt."
Xander did as he was told, sitting in one of the two high wingback chairs opposite the desk. He tried to sit still and wait for Mr. Wayne to say something. That lasted all of forty-seven seconds. Xander counted.
"I just want to thank you, Mr. Wayne, for the help and all. I fully intend to repay my hospital bills."
Wayne waved his hand. "No need to worry about it, Xander."
Xander sighed. "Look, Mr. Wayne, I know you've got enough money that you probably have rolls of cash instead of Charmin in your john. I'm still going to pay you back, not because you need the money but because I need to do it to feel right with myself."
Mr. Wayne gave him a look that made Xander sit up straighter and then nodded to himself. "Not only can I understand that, but I think that's a very honorable, adult thing to do."
"Indeed. Well done, Alexander."
Mr. Pennyworth's voice came from behind him and Xander would have jumped out of his chair if not for his busted knee. Despite having a couple of years scared off of him, he couldn't help but notice that his new boss had jumped as well.
Xander had to bite his cheek to keep from snickering. Batman, scourge of criminals everywhere, had been scared by his butler. Too funny.
Alfred pretended not to notice, instead passing out cups from the tray he was carrying before sitting by Xander. Xander gripped his and took a deep breath – hot chocolate, the good stuff that wasn't just powered milk, cocoa, sugar and water. Xander tried to control his drooling. He'd look like a redneck if he started inhaling the chocolaty goodness. Besides, it would be embarrassing if he choked to death on it.
"I heard you making your way down here and thought that since you were awake, we could talk about what duties would be assigned to you here at the Manor. Or course you'll be working with Alfred here, so I've asked him to join us."
Xander squirmed in his chair and tried to not dump his hot chocolate in his lap. Great. A job interview with his new boss and he was a pair of old sweatpants – torn to allow for his knee brace – and a faded Bugs Bunny tee-shirt.
"First of all, Alexander, I believe you should tell us what talents you have and we can go from there."
Mr. Pennyworth's voice was pitched low and his accent similar to Giles. That helped Xander relax a bit as he sipped at his drink. "Well, I guess you can say I know a little bit about a lot of things, but only a lot about a few trivia things. Einstein I'm not, but if you need someone to win at a trivia game at a science fiction con, I'm your man. I know a bit about fixing cars, nothing big but enough to do maintenance and tune ups. I know a little about carpentry, I took shop in high school so I could use the tools to make stakes for vamp hunting and learned a bit there. I can read a little Latin and Summarian, mostly key words like 'apocalypse' and 'end of days'. I know a more than a little about first aid but I'd like to learn more, I was thinking about taking classes for being a paramedic."
Xander took a sip of his drink and tried to think. What information about him would the man behind the mask of Batman find useful. "Oh! I've been possessed twice and sort of remember both possessions. The first time was by a hyena – a female one. I ate the school mascot and humped one of my best friends. It could have been worse, the other kids who were possessed ate the principal."
There was a coughing noise and Xander looked up to find that his new boss had almost choked on his coffee. He winced, thinking how Joker and gods knew how many people tried to kill the Batman and he Xander had almost taken him out with just a mention of his history.
Alfred calmly handed Mr. Wayne a napkin. "Please, continue, Alexander."
O—kay. He could do that. Xander would just ignore one of the world's richest billionaires coughing up a lung. "The other possession was a soldier. Army ranger actually. Happy freaking Halloween. Both possessions left ... I dunno, remnants. My senses are better, but not like meta-human better. I mean, I can see further than before but not, like, reading a piece of paper at fifty feet or anything. There are times I remember military stuff, like explosives or gun maintenance, or I can do some sort of hand to hand combat, but it's not reliable. It's more likely that I'll fall on my butt than actually do anything right." Xander shrugged. "Mostly I'm a gofer. Go for donuts, or coffee and sodas. Go buy stinky herbs for whatever spell Willow and Giles are trying out, or go pick up the weapons Buffy left in the cemetery during her patrol. I don't mind it, someone has to do that sort of stuff so the real heroes can save the day."
And he didn't mind it. Well, maybe a little. Mostly though he minded the part where he seemed to vanish into the background when pats on the back seemed to be going around.
Alfred was giving him a look.
Xander slumped down in his seat. It was difficult to explain some of his Sunnydale friend's brains sometimes. "They always thought that being just human was a drawback. Look, I don't think that, at least I don't now, but they're still in that mindset. Even Giles, who's older and should know better, would be all, 'you're human and don't have special skills so go sit in the corner and don't touch the books'. That attitude is one of the major reasons I decided to leave Sunnydale. Remember, the entire town was set up to contain humans so all the demons had a buffet available. The schools system sucked, because if you got too smart you'd leave. Child protection services was deadly, sometimes kids would be taken into protective custody and disappear. The hospital would drain off a couple pints of blood and sell it to the bar that catered to vampires. If you were really smart or had good parents you got away, but the regular kids or the ones who, in a normal town, would have gotten help fell through the cracks."
"And you got caught in the cracks."
It was more of a statement than a question, and Wayne's voice had gone deep and sorta growly. Xander found himself fighting to keep from ducking his head in embarrassment. It was unusual that someone besides Willow got mad on his behalf. And even she had stopped in the past year or so.
"I think I straddled the cracks actually. Wills was smart enough to see it, even before Jesse died. She tried to help me but when she tried with maths or science or computer stuff it went so far over my head it wasn't even funny." Xander shrugged. "I knew enough to get out but except for Willow, no one had ever taken the time to teach me anything."
There was silence for a moment and then Alfred set his tea cup down, the sound of the china echoing oddly in the room. "Well. That is something we can correct."
*****
It was early when Bruce left the library and went to bed. Well, early to him. Anytime he went to bed and the blinds in his room didn't have to be drawn to keep out the pre-dawn light, he considered it early. Going to bed before four a. m. was almost unheard of for him.
The reason for him to retire early more often was stretched out on his bed in nothing but a set of bright red boxer-briefs with a big yellow lightning bolt on the crotch.
Bruce rolled his eyes. He wasn't sure if he even wanted to know where Wally got them.
"You could have come down and joined us."
"Nah. That was a job interview sort a thing, no reason to make the kid more nervous." Wally turned on one of the 24-hour sports channels on the television and left it there, much to Bruce's relief. Wally's channel surfing tended to get out of control when he was bored, they'd already had to replace three remotes when he'd started pressing buttons at subsonic speeds. "I'll wait till later to meet him, or this weekend. You sure this is a good idea?"
"No." Bruce stropped off the polo shirt he'd been wearing and his dress slacks and laid them carefully on one of the reclining chairs in his bedroom. "Then again it's Alfred's idea and he's usually right. Annoying, but right."
Wally snorted and got off the bed long enough to pull down the comforter and top sheet and lay back down. He was moving slowly so it only took about a half a second. "You're just annoyed that some kid from some podunk town in California figured out your secret."
Bruce didn't say anything to that, mainly because Wally was right but he didn't want to admit it. Then again Xander was used to looking past the obvious -- he'd had to do so to survive in Sunnydale. So that thought soothed his ego.
A little.
"That podunk town, as you call it, has more vampires living in it than living humans if the stats from Oracle are correct." And since it was Oracle who did the research, the numbers were as correct as it was going to get, considering that vampires didn't fill out census forms.
He lay down on the bed and Wally curled up next to him. It was nice. It was better than nice. Bruce would admit to warm and fuzzy feelings if it wasn't for the fact that Batman wasn't supposed to have them. Sexy and lusty were okay but not warm and fuzzy.
Thank god the only people who knew were Wally and Alfred. Alfred always knew what was going on but refrained from saying thanks to what Bruce assumed was his British reserve. And Wally, well he had admitted to his own warm and fuzzy feelings so that was okay.
He'd never hear the end of it if Dick found out though.
Wally gave an odd stuttered laugh. "Yeah, that whole town full of vampires thing is kinda freaking me out. I mean, I read the file Oracle sent and everything, but the fact that the only thing that has stood between the world and certain death is an ex-cheerleader and her friends is weirder than some of the stuff we got into in the Titans."
"At least you had back up." Already Bruce was making plans in his mind. First he needed to contact Zatanna, or maybe Jason Blood. He needed someone to look into Xander's prior possessions; he wasn't comfortable allowing that sort of security risk around Alfred. Bruce himself wasn't comfortable around things that weren't easily explained by scientific means, but they were two of the magic users he trusted the most.
Actually, he probably just needed to call Jason. Between the man's mild telepathy, his knowledge of the occult and magic, and his alter ego Etrigan, it was a safe bet that he knew of the Hellmouth and could not only help relive Xander of his guests, but could advise Bruce on how to subtly change the atmosphere in Sunnydale, especially now since the Mayor of the town was no longer there to pull the strings.
Agile fingers poked him in the side and Bruce fought not to flinch. "Hey, plan whatever it is you're planning in the morning. Or better yet, afternoon."
Bruce rolled over on top of Wally, pinning his hands to the bed. Wally was, as always, unable to keep completely still and vibrated slightly underneath him. A shiver ran up and down Bruce's spine and he thrust his hips forward, rubbing his hard cock against his lover's. "Why? Have some plans of your own?"
There was a rush of movement and Bruce found himself with their positions reversed and Wally hovering over him, smirking. "I'm sure I could figure out something."
Bruce found his mouth being taken almost brutally, and he groaned. Wally had some great plans.