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Shannon Rutherford ([info]ballerinadreams) wrote in [info]vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-05-15 21:33:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:!complete, day 07, location: museum, sam winchester, shannon rutherford

Day Seven - Late Night
Who: Shannon Rutherford and Sam Winchester
What: Late night talk
When: Day 7, late night
Where: the museum
Rating: PG-13
Status: Complete



It had been a long, drama-filled day and Shannon was exhausted. She'd had a not-terribly-pleasant chat with Sam that morning after having taken a bow and arrow shooting lesson with Domeki and after that she'd gone hunting with Anders. It was cold as all fuck outside and the snow was ridiculous. So ridiculous, in fact, that she and Cheryl had had to meet up to dig poor Edward out of the snow and, well, at least her hand had stopped stinging once she was back indoors and the wind and snow weren't whipping against the small laceration she'd acquired in the process. The journals had blown up with bullshit high school drama, Domeki and Watanuki had come to the museum - rounding the number of residents out to a whopping seven - because they'd been snowed out of the thrift shop, and Shannon was fucking beat, emotionally as well as physically.

She slunk back into the room she and Sam shared, bringing her torch with her and wedged it into the floor in a knothole she'd found there. After spreading out the blanket that she'd gained from waking up naked with Anders, Shannon took off the hoodie she'd been wearing and hung it from the nail the painting he'd used to cover himself had fallen from. Next, she dropped down onto the blanket and sighed, taking a drink - good thing she had ganked more alcohol before the snow had fallen. Today...sucked ass.


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[info]demonboyking
2009-05-17 02:35 pm UTC (link)
Sam entered the room not long after, his own torch burning brightly. This was the fifth night they'd followed what had become a nightly ritual and so it didn't feel weird at all to wedge his torch down and then sit beside Shannon, his shoulder brushing hers.

"Rough day?" He asked, noting the bottle in her hand and looking up at her face as he tried to read her expression. His day hadn't been so rough as much as long. He was hoping that Shannon wanted to sleep together rather than in shifts tonight, especially since he'd never take the first shift. "Do you want to talk about it?"

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[info]ballerinadreams
2009-05-17 02:50 pm UTC (link)
Mid-swig, Shannon looked up to see Sam letting himself into the room and suddenly she felt all kinds of awkward and uncomfortable. It was almost like the first night and she tried not to stiffen when he sat down beside her, his shoulders brushing hers as he did so.

"Pretty awful, yeah," she agreed quietly. "My friend got attacked by Rorschach today..." she said, actively avoiding the real thing that was bothering her. It wasn't like she could talk about it with him of all people, anyway. Sure, let's talk. I have a raging crush on you and you don't care. Discuss. Yeah, right.

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[info]demonboyking
2009-05-17 04:38 pm UTC (link)
"What?" Sam asked, immediately tensing beside her. "Who? Are they okay?"

He hadn't checked the journals in hours, so if there'd been any mention of an attack he hadn't heard about it. Sure he was annoyed by Rorschach's fondness for pressing Shannon's buttons and this obvious disrespect for women, but he'd written Rorschach off as being mostly harmless. It was obvious he had issues with women, but the fact that he'd been looking after Merope had made Sam think that maybe he was all talk. Now, however he wondered if he'd made a mistake in letting his guard down.

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[info]ballerinadreams
2009-05-17 04:51 pm UTC (link)
Shannon took another drink and stared at the wall in front of her. "Kaylee. She's fine. Scared the shit out of her when he grabbed her, but I guess he let her go and he didn't hurt her," she replied, setting her jaw. "Doesn't make me feel any less afraid, though..."

Or any less alone, for that matter...

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[info]demonboyking
2009-05-17 09:24 pm UTC (link)
Sam frowned, his brow wrinkling in worry. "Did he say anything to her?" He was sure there had been some words, whore for one, even if he'd just been passing by. He wondered if Rorschach had just meant to scare Kaylee instead of actually attack her, either way it didn't make Sam feel any more sympathetic to the man. The women had enough to worry about, they didn't need some guy with obvious psychological problems making their lives harder. "Shannon," Sam said, his voice low and serious. "If he comes near you, he'll have to deal with me and Dean. And believe me, he doesn't want to deal with either of us."

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[info]ballerinadreams
2009-05-17 09:33 pm UTC (link)
Shannon shrugged slightly. She couldn't remember because, as per usual and as much as she hated it, it didn't directly affect her yet and therefore it was only marginally important. Regression. Always with the regression. Shannon cared more about herself, probably, than any other person in the whole of time. And space, maybe, she thought with an inward sigh.

At Sam's words, she looked over at him finally. He said the same thing Dean had. Suddenly it hit her. Shannon was an obligation to them both. Regression, indeed. She nodded her understanding, though and smiled weakly. "Thanks," she said quietly.

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[info]demonboyking
2009-05-17 10:19 pm UTC (link)
Sam sighed, looking down as he thought about the fact that he'd trusted Rorschach to watch out for Merope. He'd trusted that he wouldn't hurt anyone, was just living out some delusion of being a masked hero. Obviously he'd underestimated him.

"I mean it," Sam said, not quite buying the small smile on her face. Without thinking about it he put an arm around her shoulder and squeezed it lightly. "Don't worry." Pause. "Any more than you have to in this place."

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[info]ballerinadreams
2009-05-17 10:28 pm UTC (link)
Sam put his arm around her and gave her shoulder a squeeze. Shannon wasn't sure how to take that. It was a friendly gesture, but when coupled with the conviction in his voice when his words insinuated he was going to take care of her, it became confusing.

"I know," she told him honestly, because she did know, even if she felt that he meant it on a very different level than she wanted him to. "But that's easier said than done," she added.

Why couldn't this day just be over, she wondered. Her eyes were cast downward then and she turned her head to look back at the wall in front of her, sitting stiffly beside him and feeling altogether uncomfortable by the fact that she'd rather he touch her face and kiss her than give her shoulder a squeeze. Apparently, not everyone in existence was so easy to attract and pull into the web. Good for Sam, she thought miserably, if he can resist without effort. Probably better off for him in the long run, anyway, she supposed. Especially since she was a curse. Now it was even extending to girls with whom she considered herself close. Great.

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[info]demonboyking
2009-05-17 10:55 pm UTC (link)
Sam felt her stiffen under his arm and he realized that he had acted out of line. Way to go, Winchester. Touch her when she's worried some guy with women issues is coming after her. Sam let a breath out through his nose and pulled his arm back. "Sorry," he said, looking at her as she stared at the wall in front of her. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"I'll send a message to him tomorrow," Sam said, looking down at his hands. "Make sure he understands."

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[info]ballerinadreams
2009-05-17 11:20 pm UTC (link)
Shannon looked back at Sam, her brow furrowed slightly at the tone in his voice; she hadn't meant to make him feel badly, after all. "It's fine," she said, shaking her head. "It's just...today," she added awkwardly. This morning. Make up your fucking mind, because I can't stand this. Is this how Dean feels about me right now? No wonder he doesn't want to be around me...

Taking a drink and then offering Sam the bottle, Shannon went back to staring at the wall and wrapped her free arm around herself in an effort to block out the cold. No matter how awkward things were...she was going to have to stick out tonight if she wanted to be warm. Things wouldn't feel different for him and the conflict was internal for her. So long as she just sucked it up, it'd be fine. He'd be warm, she'd be warm, and come morning, it'd be over and she'd try to figure something else out.

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[info]demonboyking
2009-05-17 11:55 pm UTC (link)
Sam took the bottle and took a drink. He wished it'd been some Jack and would at least give him the impression of warmth going down, instead it was cold and tasted of peppermint toothpaste. He swallowed and looked down, his eye catching Shannon's now empty hand.

"Shannon, what happened to your hand?" He asked, reaching out and wrapping his fingers around her wrist as he pulled it towards the light and closer to him. He put the bottle down and traced the inside of her palm lightly with his fingers to see how bad it was. It looked long but not deep. Luckily there wouldn't be any dental floss stitches required.

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[info]ballerinadreams
2009-05-17 11:59 pm UTC (link)
Shannon didn't have a chance to hide her hand before Sam had noticed it and her breath caught in her throat as his fingers moved over her palm after his other hand closed gently around her wrist. "It's nothing, I just knicked it," she said. On Edward's hand, so don't even get me started on that little what-the-fuck moment...that's just another notch on the bedpost of my shitty day.

Her eyes were on his face and her stomach was fluttering at his touch...and she hated it. Why was she wasting her time being attracted to someone who didn't even notice her? Not that way, at least. Not the way she wanted or the way she was used to being noticed.

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[info]demonboyking
2009-05-18 12:05 am UTC (link)
"On what?" Sam asked, looking up at her with concern. He doubted that there were any tetanus shots lying around in case of an emergency. "Did you wash it out?" Soap and water at least, though he would've preferred rubbing alcohol or in a pinch the high proof drinking kind. He didn't think peppermint schnapps was going to cut it as a disinfectant.

He frowned back down at her hand. "Does it hurt?"

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[info]ballerinadreams
2009-05-18 12:12 am UTC (link)
"Digging Edward out of the snow," she said, which wasn't a lie, but avoided having to divulge the little tidbit that she'd actually cut it on Edward himself. "After it stopped bleeding I used some snow and the hoodie. It'll be okay."

There was concern on his face before he looked back down at her hand to ask if it hurt and it hit her then. She was in his friend zone. He did care, but he cared like Domeki did. That at least explained how he wasn't bothered by touching her so often. Sucked, but at least it made sense. Wow, she'd never actually been in the friend zone for any guy until she'd gotten here...and now it seemed to be all she could manage. What the fuck was up with this place, anyway?

Shaking her head, Shannon tried to decide whether she should take her hand back and her eyes flickered over toward the bottle Sam had set down. "No, not anymore," she replied.

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[info]demonboyking
2009-05-18 12:57 am UTC (link)
"It wasn't anything rusty, though, was it?" Sam asked, not quite satisfied with Shannon's explanation. He'd had enough scrapes over his lifetime to know the importance of fighting off infection. Especially in a place like this.

Sam caught her glance at the bottle and nodded. "Right."

He knew he should probably let of of her hand, that she was saying it was fine and that holding onto the softness of it would quickly seem strange and out of place, but he held onto it for a moment longer anyway. "It shouldn't scar too badly."

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[info]ballerinadreams
2009-05-18 01:09 am UTC (link)
Shannon shook her head. "Uh uh," she replied. "Seriously, it'll be fine, it's no big deal," she insisted softly, trying not to fidget because she wanted her hand back, but at the same time never wanted him to let go.

Why was he still holding her hand, anyway, actually...? She wet her lips and then chewed on the bottom one, trying to rack her brain to see if she remembered Domeki's touch ever lingering like that. Not that she could recall, but then again, he had had his arms around her teaching her to use the bow and arrow and neither of them had thought much of it. She supposed it was because she wasn't attracted to Domeki the way she was Sam. Over-analysis. Fantastic...

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[info]demonboyking
2009-05-19 12:25 am UTC (link)
Sam looked up at her, meeting her eyes for a moment. He wanted to tell her that he'd been thinking about their conversation from earlier that morning all day long. That he'd decided if they were taken back to their respective timelines that she was the person he'd miss the most. At least the person he wouldn't want to forget. Somehow, even though it seemed completely screwed up in a time and place like this, she'd managed to make him feel at home. She'd carved out a place for him, despite her reservations about her own safety, and she'd given him a purpose when he'd needed one most. He was far from enjoying the hardships of Vas - would've liked a bed to sleep in, heat, food, and knowing that he wasn't some lab rat being toyed with for someone's amusement - but he could deal with it, knowing that he had someone who believed in him.

He held her gaze for a moment, his eyes softening. He took in a small breath and opened his mouth to speak and then thought better of it. He swallowed and and looked away, slowly letting go of her hand. If he did say it, he wouldn't be able to take it back, and he was afraid that it smacked a little too much of need. He was sure Shannon had done all of those things unintentionally, just by being the person she was. That she hadn't given a second thought to it. To point them out and how much they'd meant to him would be unfairly putting her on the spot or attaching meaning to them that he was sure was only one-sided.

He sighed, reaching down and picking up the bottle. He took a long drink before he held it back out to her. "You might want to wrap it up," he suggested, glancing back over at her. "Just to make sure it doesn't get infected."

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[info]ballerinadreams
2009-05-19 11:50 am UTC (link)
Sam had opened his mouth as though he were about to say something and then he looked away from her, letting go of her hand finally. Talk about mixed signals, she had thought, because the way he was looking at her almost appeared to be fondly. Maybe. All right, so that was a stretch, but still. Instead, he sighed and took a long drink. Shannon looked down.

When Sam finally broke the silence between them again, she looked back up at him, noticing that he was offering her the bottle. Taking it and pulling on it, she nodded half-heartedly at him. "Yeah, I probably will tomorrow, but tonight I'd rather it get some air so it'll maybe scab over faster and not be as big a problem," she replied when she finished with the drink she'd been taking. After, she paused and then looked away from Sam, back at the wall again, taking another.

The silence in the room was so loud she could hardly stand it. Her ears were on the verge of ringing, even. She had a million things to say to Sam and not an even so much as an ounce of the courage she'd need to say them. Shannon was normally so sure of herself. The brothers Winchester were the first men in as long as Shannon could remember who had made her doubt her own attractiveness; physical as well as personality. She didn't like that they had that power over her. Shannon was supposed to know that she was amazing - narcissistic? Yes - but she wasn't so sure anymore, so long as one or both of them were around.

Why didn't Sam like her? Why didn't he try to cop a feel at night or kiss the back of her neck when he thought she was sleeping? Why didn't he look at her the way so many others had? ...what was wrong with her that she wasn't good enough for him...? And most importantly, why did the fact that Sam wasn't trying to get into her pants make her feel so disgusted by herself?

"I'm tired," she said in an empty voice, eyes fixated on a knot she'd found in the wood of the wall. She didn't want to be awake anymore, because that meant being able to mull over those questions. The sooner she went to sleep, the sooner she'd wake up and she could find some other solution to the situation in which she found herself...because after tonight, one more night sleeping in Sam's embrace when she couldn't have him and she wanted him so badly...might just be too much more than she wanted to have to take.

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[info]demonboyking
2009-05-21 09:51 am UTC (link)
Silence fell between them and he watched her as she seemed to turn her eyes away from him. She seemed stiff, uncomfortable and he wondered if something in his thoughts had played across his face. He looked down at floor trying to think of a safe conversation topic when she said she was tired.

He looked up at her and nodded. "It's been a long day," he said, more for something to say than anything else. He glanced at the bottle in her hand and couldn't help but think that finding her here trying to numb things a little wasn't something that should be a reoccuring senario. He would have to do something about Rorschach and try to ease her mind a little. If he could.

"I'm beat too," he said, suddenly feeling the words to be true.

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[info]ballerinadreams
2009-05-21 12:57 pm UTC (link)
Long day, indeed. Shannon looked back over at Sam when he said he was tired, too. She took one last drink and then screwed the cap back on before setting it back down on the ground. Tonight was especially cold and she wondered if it was just her or if Sam had noticed it, as well. It would probably be extra special awkward, now, cuddling against him to keep warm, now that she knew he wasn't interested in her and she was nothing but a job to him. Something to do. Someone to keep an eye on. Seemed like that was all Shannon was good for on the Island and in the real world, too. Maybe she was just doomed to always be an obligation.

"How do we want to do this?" she asked, looking down again. "I mean with the blanket from yesterday morning," she added quickly, looking back up at him. "Should we keep it underneath us because the floor is fucking cold or use it to cover?"

What a lame ass discussion to be having, she thought. Sam Anders had seen her naked and spooned her that way...and things were less awkward with him. How was that even possible? God, this was ridiculous; she was acting like a twelve-year-old school girl with a crush on her teacher or something. Fucking pathetic.

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[info]demonboyking
2009-05-22 11:09 am UTC (link)
"Probably better to use it as cover," Sam said after thinking about it for a second. "The floor should warm up underneath us and the blanket will keep in the warmth."

Not for the first time Sam wished for the luxury of crawling into a bed and throwing musty motel sheets and comforter over him. He hadn't realized how much he'd taken even the worst motel room for granted until he got here. Then again, if there were beds there'd be no reason to share body heat, something that had easily become the best part of Sam's day in this place. Not that he'd ever say so.

Sam cleared his throat. "Do you want to sleep in shifts, or try sleeping at the same time again?"

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[info]ballerinadreams
2009-05-22 06:53 pm UTC (link)
Shannon nodded; his explanation seemed logical enough and she liked the idea of cover better, anyway, if she was honest. The idea of locking in heat was very appealing, indeed. With that, she crawled off the blanket and nodded at Sam to do the same.

"Doesn't matter," she replied. Partially because she knew it really didn't matter how they slept, since Sam swore he hadn't fallen asleep on his shift a few nights ago and somehow she'd gone from being in his arms and dressed to being in the other Sam's arms completely naked. "Jack's been watching," she added, because she was inclined to believe that Jack just didn't sleep, period.

Tucking her hair behind her ears, Shannon laid down on the floor with her back to Sam. Normally, this was not as awkward and unusually unsettling as it felt tonight and she was pretty sure it was because at least before she'd been able to entertain the idea that he might enjoy the sharing of body heat as much as she did and not just for the body heat. Tonight, she wouldn't be able to do that; it would feel fantastical and embarrassing now that she knew it wasn't true.

Shannon was shivering already, the second she laid down. The floor was cold as ice beneath her without the blanket laid down and the chill hit her like a shock wave. "Jesus..." she breathed, teeth chattering. "Fucking snow..."

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[info]demonboyking
2009-05-25 02:49 pm UTC (link)
Sam felt a small pang of guilt strike him when Shannon said it didn't matter. She was right. He'd been keeping watch when she'd been taken, stripped and put in the next room. It was true that he'd been exhausted from the alarms going off all day, that he even suspected that was the reason behind the sirens, but that didn't change the fact that she'd been taken right from his arms. He sighed and nodded, looking defeated when she said Jack was watching. He didn't know much about their new roommate, but from what Sam could tell it looked like he wasn't afraid of fighting and he didn't require much sleep. He watched her as she laid down on the cold floor, her shoulders and back tense at what he could only guess was the coldness of it.

Sam laid down behind her and began spreading the blanket over their forms. It wasn't quite long enough to get his feet, but he reached over her, his shoulder brushing hers as he tucked it underneath her body in order to trap in the heat. He settled down behind her, wrapping his arm around her and offering his arm as a pillow the way they'd done it every other night. The floor was freezing, even through the denim of his jeans and he found himself moving closer than normal to her in an effort to forget the cold.

His nose brushed the back of her neck and he had the sudden unmistakable urge to brush his lips against the smooth skin there. The thought sent a wave of warmth through him just as quickly as he stomped it out. Suddenly being this close didn't seem like such a good idea.He moved his face back an inch or two and closed his eyes. "Goodnight, Shannon."

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[info]ballerinadreams
2009-05-26 08:54 pm UTC (link)
Once again, Shannon was reminded of Boone when Sam laid down behind her, pulling the blanket around them. It was, she supposed, the care with which he tucked the blanket under her to help lock in the body heat the two of them would create. Boone had done that on an occasion or two when it had been cold and raining on the Island. His arm was around her then and he also still offered her his other arm as a pillow.

She almost didn't take the offer, because she wasn't sure she was willing to impose on him any further than she already was. It had been different when she could think he might secretly enjoy the imposition. Still, if he was still willing to let his arm be the one that went numb for cut off circulation from the weight of her head, then she wasn't going to fight him. As per usual, she rested her head on his arm and with her free one, she hugged herself, arm brushing his as she positioned herself more comfortably.

When Sam's nose brushed the back of her neck, Shannon closed her eyes and furrowed her brow, her stomach fluttering. She felt the redness and warmth creep into her cheeks even as he pulled away from her and she frowned. It took an awful lot more effort than Shannon wanted to admit to keep from wiggling back against him again - to feel his face nuzzled against the back of her neck - but she refrained. "Night, Sam," she whispered back.

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