"Turn around if you want to see me make out with both of my boyfriends, because I can do that now and all of you have to deal with it!"
WHAT: Operation: Kiss Gansey Without Killing Him WHERE: The Barns - by Dad!Tree WHEN: June 29th, afternoon WARNINGS: None! PG and spoilers: no one dies. STATUS:Complete!
Blue wanted to do it under the tree. If her dad—if he was even in there, which she highly doubted now—wanted to give her something, it could be some shade.
Her confidence level was unpuncturable, no limit. But much like Sisyphus, she pushed that heavy rock all the way up the hill of uncertainty, only to slowly slide back down by the time they set this whole thing up. Blue wanted to scream, it was frustrating to suddenly be nervous. The responsibility of this rested on her. And Blue knew she had one shot to make this right—if this backfired, if Gansey died again, she was never touching him again.
But like she had told Ronan, Blue was ready. She had been ready for a while. And it was like some ridiculous sign from the universe when her powers went all glitchy, and she recognized what it was like to not have them on. Blue's whole body now felt that same uncharged, untingly way, as if all that amplifying feedback had been unplugged—she had been unplugged. And if she needed to, or wanted to, plugging back in was as simple as thinking about it. Just willing it back into existence.
But not now, not now, not now. Persephone had said knowledge and practice is nothing unless you put it to use. Blue intended to do just that. Selfishly, first. Unselfishly, second. They deserved this.
She let out a long low exhale, stepped up onto a thick root to give her some height, and addressed their group. "I need at least half of you to be like a hundred feet away." This was said to Ronan, Adam, and Sydney. Blue was glad for moral support and contingency plan, but the pressure of potential judgment was mucking with her self-reliance. She reached her hands out for Henry and Gansey, to make her point.
"That means the half that isn't dating me."
Henry had been a bit of a wide-eyed mess for most of the morning, rolling back and forth between moments of contemplative silence and cheerful babbling. He’d also been breezing by to touch the pair of them frequently. He believed in Blue. And they’d talked about how this wouldn’t change anything where he was concerned. He hadn’t ever really felt like a placeholder for when they could actually kiss each other, but the mention of it, even to say it wasn’t true, wedged the tiniest bit of uneasiness behind his ribs.
It didn’t matter though. This was a good thing, no matter if things changed or not. Gansey deserved the freedom to kiss who he wanted, when he wanted, without having to worry about dying.
Henry shook himself free of his thoughts and reached out to clasp Blue’s hand and one of Gansey’s as well. To the side, he could see Ronan step back and turn towards Adam, a hand reached out to thread through fingers and his back facing their little gathering. Maybe it wasn’t privacy, but it was more than the vigilant staredown he’d expected from Lynch.
“Is this what freshly married couples felt like in ye olden times?” he joked. He was just a background player, here for support, and he had a little performance anxiety anyway. Shoving that aside, he lifted each of their hands to kiss their knuckles and whispered low, just for them. “Let me know if I need to make a bedding ritual joke to run Ronan even farther off.”
“Will it run off tree-fathers, too?” Gansey made the joke low, just above a whisper, and shot a wry look towards the large tree right by them to make no mistake exactly who he was talking about. Blue’s father might not have been there, but it was still an oddity they were facing that he hadn’t expected. But then, most of his life had been an oddity he hadn’t expected, and Gansey had just adapted.
That’s what he was doing here. It was a risk, one that he knew a few people didn’t especially like, but he pushed himself towards confidence because that was what he did. If one didn’t have that confidence to start, one would make it up as they went along.
But he trusted in Blue, with every fiber of his being, that this would be okay. He knew it. He didn’t know exactly how he knew it, he just did. So he dressed for the occasion, not a boat shoe in sight, and dark jeans that he now pulled his hands out of so he could tie his fingers with his significant others. “As long as we don’t actually have to invite anyone into the bedroom later.”
A pause. The most Gansey of pauses, as he squinted comically at them both. “Right?”
"We're not inviting anyone into the bedroom later," Blue assured. And she was happy for the little joke, the slight levity it brought to the seriousness of the situation. It meant there would be a later, that after whatever happened here, all three of them would be together. That was a future to look forward to, something she could depend on. Blue liked the certainty in that, and in Gansey and Henry.
She side-eyed the turned backs of their friends, and while it wasn't a hundred feet away, Blue appreciated that they were still close—even if it wasn't the privacy she wanted. Then again, if somehow the roles were reversed she absolutely would not have taken a step away. Ugh, she was being hypocritical.
And stalling.
"Okay, okay," Blue said, hopping off the root and becoming her actual height again. Even her painted combat boots barely boosted her higher than five feet. "I'm ready, are you—wait!" Blue grabbed for Henry first, and kissed him solidly, as if she could transfer some of that restless energy into something productive. Kissing Henry tended to be very productive, and it slowed her down, eased her into something less unraveled. Blue pulled away, speaking far softer than before, "Now I'm ready."
“No bedding ritual. Unless taking off Gansey’s glasses for him counts.” Henry grinned, pleased that they’d all kept the mood as light as they could considering. He was even more pleased when Blue hopped down and planted a kiss on him. He pressed into the kiss and smiled at her when she pulled away. Hopefully his expression was a good reflection of the love and faith in his heart. His worries were quieter now anyway.
“Your turn to get ready,” he said to Gansey, tugging him close to kiss him just as forcefully. When he broke away, he pressed a second kiss to Gansey’s jaw and then let their hands go to take a step back. “I’m not going far but I don’t think it would be a good test if I’m touching you guys for this.”
Gansey was grinning at them both when Henry leaned in for his own kiss, and he laughed, feeling a little lighter about it all. When their boyfriend stepped away, Gansey’s hand lingered for just an extra moment, letting their fingertips touch before they were pulled away from each other. Later they could argue a little better about who got to do what kissing and where. Maybe they would draw straws. Or play rock-paper-scissors.
Either way, options were to be had.
His love for Henry moved over to Blue in his expression, and Gansey’s smile grew again as he stepped in closer. It was hard to forget the last time they had done this, but the situation was so far removed from this one that he wouldn’t let the memory diminish what they were about to accomplish here.
Gansey reached up to brush a piece of Blue’s wayward hair behind her ear, stalling because of the butterflies in his stomach. “Hi. How are you feeling?”
Blue bit hard on the inside of her cheek to keep from saying anything else stupid. Her immediate reaction when Henry took a step away and let go was to call the whole thing off. Maybe they weren't ready, maybe she was rushing this because she was being selfish. Maybe, maybe, she was never supposed to kiss Gansey and this was going against the natural order of things. But wasn't all of them being here against nature too?
It was only when Gansey pushed back her hair that Blue seemed to realign herself—Gansey. Her Gansey, who was being extraordinarily calm. An urge to shake him and scream how are you so calm? came over her. But Blue Sargent had enormous amounts of self-restraint. She did not shake him.
"Hi," Blue said back, sounding painfully casual while her knee started to bounce in betrayal of nerves and adrenaline. "A lot. I'm feeling a lot. We would be here all day with all the things I'm feeling. And why are you asking me? I should be asking you! How are you feeling? You look—"
Blue swallowed hard, her voice dropping low. She glanced at Henry, then back to Gansey. No more hiding behind fear. "I'm scared. But I'm never not going to be scared. I can't use that as an excuse anymore."
Gansey let her vent it out, waiting patiently as she worked herself back around to his original question. He gave a soft smile in return, keeping all of his focus on Blue, even if he wanted to glance over at Henry. Like before, he knew that this was harder on everyone else than it was on him, but a lot of that had to do with the fact that he trusted and believed in her. That belief was a strong thing.
“I’m nervous,” Gansey finally admitted in return, “and not in the way you’re thinking. Just- Nervous as if it’s our first date? We’re doing things backwards, but that’s okay.” He reached up to her face again, but this time just ran his thumb along her jaw, and down her neck, staring down at her softly. “I’m not scared. I trust you, and I believe in you, and I know this is going to work out the way we want it to, because you’re the most remarkable woman I’ve ever known, Jane.”
Blue would have bet good, hard-earned money on the fact that Gansey had a calming touch. Coupled with what he was saying—a mix between his boyish charm and his unparalleled confidence—Blue couldn't argue. It was an impossible feat, and one she didn't want to tackle. Not now, not when they were so close to having everything.
"I'm going to make you repeat that after I kiss you," Blue said, all smiles, blushing and feeling the most demure she ever had in recent memory. Wanting Gansey had been a strange, slow realization. Kissing Gansey previously had been a dangerous affair. She didn't want that memory anymore—Blue wanted new ones. She wanted the opportunity and possibility, endless endless possibility with the two people she loved the most. Henry, supporting her just out of reach, and Gansey, standing in front of her ready and waiting.
Her hand rested somewhere on his chest, smoothing over the soft fabric of his shirt. She felt better when they were touching, connected. "I love you very much, I need you to know that," was all she said, before tipping up onto her toes, and kissing him softly, sweetly, infinitely wrapped up in his lips against hers for the second time ever.
There was a bird call in the distance, the breeze picked up and rustled the leaves in the branches above them, and everything was quiet inside of her.
Love, love, love.
Everything was quiet outside of her, as well. Breaths held, the deafening static of Gansey’s own thoughts fuzzing out as white noise took over. This time, he could touch her, he could wrap arms around her midsection and pull her in a little closer. When the air picked up around them, it was a comforting breeze that felt almost as if the tree was giving it’s approval.
Nature was on their side, unlike before. He could push the image of a dying Ronan out of his brain now, the haunting feeling of a demon at their backs, of the rain that hit his skin during their first kiss. Maybe now the dreams would overtake the nightmares.
Gansey knew immediately that this was different. He had felt his heart give away before, of the mirrors connecting and his own shattering, but this time it felt as if his heart swelled with each lingering moment. He wanted to keep kissing her, forever and always, but the part of him that was running a mile a minute pulled her a little tighter and lifted her off the ground as he laughed against her lips, “I have to get you a box.”
Henry felt like he’d been holding his breath for a year. Watching from the side felt like too much and not enough, but he was just pragmatic enough to know it was for the best. That didn’t make it easy by any means. He unconsciously stepped forward when their mouths met, Robobee buzzing nervously in his pocket. It probably felt Henry’s heart stop and then swell painfully full at the sight of Gansey sweeping Blue off her feet.
He rushed forward and crashed into them, arms wrapped around them both and his face buried in Gansey’s shoulder so the wetness in his eyes wouldn’t show. “Did you say something about a box? I can just hold her up for you if you want. Then again everyone’s the same height when we’re laying down.” It was easier to joke than figure out how to process the relief and gratitude like an adult.
For a brief fleeting second, Blue thought she might have actually been floating of her own volition. She felt so light, as if the weight of all the responsibility and fear had just disappeared. She hadn't even noticed she carried it until it was gone, and all that was left was Gansey's lips on hers and his arms around her waist, and they were kissing, kissing. No death, no sadness, only them and this.
Rude was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't even be mad about the mention of a box. How could she be? Blue was laughing as Henry was crashing into them and she yelped with absolute unbidden delight. And then she was kissing Henry. Then Gansey again. All over his face, unencumbered by his glasses. "You—" Blue said against his cheek. "Have to." Kiss. "Come down." Kiss. "To me."
She was crying now, but the overjoyed kind. The intensely relieved kind. Blue made an embarrassingly happy noise, before trading kisses once again between Henry and Gansey. Because that wasn’t an option now, she didn't have to choose. Blue could have both, she could have everything.
With her palm against Gansey’s cheek, Blue paused her bombardment to add, "Henry is right though."
Gansey flushed deeply with each kiss, and Blue looking at him so fondly and then there was Henry and… there was a great deal of overwhelming feelings pooling in the pit of his stomach, and with Blue crying, he was bound to lose it any moment. He took a deep, shaky breath in and laughed again, glad that was the emotion his body had fallen onto.
“We are not having a conversation about being in bed while we’re here.” Under a tree that was once (still?) Blue’s father. Gansey had stronger limits than most of his friends, but he would hold firm to this one. “Please, if you both truly do love me, you’ll spare me that.” Even if he admittedly was already looking forward to disappearing to said bedroom later, and softened his words with another kiss in Blue’s direction, his hand coming out to grasp at Henry’s, tangibly pulling him closer in much the same way Gansey had always done with Blue on the opposite end of things.
“Sorry, sorry, that one’s on me!” Henry buried his face in Blue’s shoulder this time, though he didn’t look particularly apologetic. “Although in my defense, I could’ve been talking about sleeping, you don’t know.” He turned his head to just read his check against Blue’s shoulder so he could wink and smirk at Gansey. With that out of his system, he straightened up and wiped the dampness from Blue’s cheek.
“You did it, Bluebird. I said you were a magician too and look, you worked your magic just like we knew you could.” He pressed closed to kiss the side of her head and squeezed Gansey’s hand in return. If he looked at Gansey for too long, he probably would cry for real, so he glanced over his shoulder at the others instead. Ronan was peeking over his shoulder, clearly impatient for a confirmation that the noises he’d heard proved his best friend wasn’t dead for a third time. “Quick, one of you make a speech.”
Blue couldn't keep anything straight, her focus was now scattered; all she wanted to do was pull them both into privacy to continue months worth of missed opportunities. No more frustrating pining, no more almost brushes of lips.
"I did it, we did it!" She kissed Henry again, all frenetic energy and wild abandon because she was happy. It felt incredibly freeing—being in charge of her own destiny, controlling her own life, loving the people she wanted to love. No curse could stop her. And no person was going to stop her from being the first to make a speech. She climbed back onto the root, grabbing both Henry's and Gansey's hands and holding them up in a victorious tableau.
"Turn around if you want to see me make out with both of my boyfriends, because I can do that now and all of you have to deal with it!" And then she saw Adam's shoulders start to shake with laughter—if they didn't turn around it was rude, if they did she could call them out for being voyeurs.
"Or," Blue amended, sounding so full of glee, "you can give us all hugs because everyone is very much alive."
Gansey went red in the face, more than just the pink that had dusted his cheeks or the flush that had rose to his ears from the kissing itself, but Blue’s speech had him both laughing and embarrassed. He let her take his hand, but snagged it back down after a moment so he could place a kiss to it-- something he’d not been able to do just in case.
He saw Sydney peek over her shoulder through laughter, which wasn’t shocking, and let himself give a little awkward wave to the group, particularly Ronan.
Embarrassment was still written across his face, even as he looked at his significant others adoringly. “It is too much to ask for some privacy now, isn’t it? Oh, God-- please ignore the fact that I just said that. Let’s go back to telling you how fantastic you are, Jane.”
Henry threw back his head and laughed. Blue’s announcement and Gansey’s deep blush were magic all on their own. But watching the simple act of Gansey kissing Blue’s hand was apparently enough to steal his breath. He covered his face as he watched Ronan roll his eyes and step forward. He just needed to hide behind his hands for a second until all the emotions stopped threatening to make a scene.
“God you’re all fucking dorks,” Ronan grumbled. “Just, come here, goddamn it, and then you can go do whatever you want.” Through his fingers, Henry watched Ronan pull Gansey into a relieved hug - brief but clearly heartfelt - and then Ronan reached out to yank Blue into the hug. Henry lowered his hands and very nearly said aw but it was over before the word could break free. He didn’t even mind not being included, because Ronan surprised him with a clap on the back as he walked away.
“I definitely need that privacy you mentioned, Ganseyman,” Henry mock-whispered. “Especially if we’re going to get back to talking about wonderful Blue. There are some words I don’t want to say in front of the children.”
Ronan lifted a hand to flip him off without ever turning around, but there was something about it that felt...friendly. Henry scooted closer to Blue and Gansey and smiled.
Blue's ridiculousness was calmed in that moment with Gansey kissing her hand. All those rules, all those just in cases, disappearing in an instant. It wasn't just about the physicality of it, but the emotional and mental blocks that had sometimes dragged down a moment of happiness no longer existed. The smiles she offered Gansey and Henry were different now.
She accepted hugs and mouthed thank you to Syd. Vallo may have cut so many things short in her life, but it gave her so many more, maybe better, things.
Once everyone else was some distance away walking back to the main house, Blue turned, kissing Henry and then Gansey. She was never going to get over that. "I give them five minutes to scram inside the house before we make a run for it. There are several things I want to say to both of you that require my mouth on yours without any other company involved."