Agent Washington (completelysane) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2017-09-06 15:32:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, agent washington, stefan salvatore |
Who: Wash and Stefan
When: Late July, the morning after these texts were sent
Where: Casa de Anna, Lexi, Stefan and Bubbles
What: Explanations
Rating/Warnings: Low/None (update if necessary)
Status: Complete when posted
Stefan had been asleep by the time Wash arrived to his house last night. Now that Bubbles was living with him, Stefan was sleeping better than he’d slept since he became a vampire. Having her warm body pressed against his all night meant he didn’t toss and turn, didn’t let every sound or change in light stir him from his slumber. She was an anchor for him, one he never knew he needed.
The morning came, and Stefan wandered out into the main house. He started up some coffee and oatmeal with lots of fresh fruit for his girl, and some eggs and bacon for the rest of the house. Funny how Stefan didn’t eat a whole lot (he didn’t need to, but it reminded him what it was like to be human) and yet he’d become a personal chef for the rest of his house. Anna, Lexi, and Bubbles came in and out. Stefan made breakfast, and lunch for the girls in the house, and spent his down time cleaning. Soon most of the day had passed, and Stefan was working on a late afternoon snack for Anna.
When Anna’s bedroom door opened, he assumed it was his roommate, not her boyfriend. “How does the starlet want her eggs this morning?”
Wash hadn’t had a drink since the day Carolina had sat him down and told him her concerns, about him, about his mother and what he let her do to him. Wash was aware of how he let his mother walk all over him, but she was his mother, what was he supposed to have done? He couldn’t ignore that she existed. He knew, even that first evening when he’d picked her up at LAX, that she was only using him to finance a prolonged vacation, but deep down (or, maybe not as deep as he would have liked), he thought maybe, just maybe, she was there for some kind of reconciliation. To be an actual part of his life for a change. To tell him she was sorry she had stood by and done nothing when Ralph beat him, to tell him she was sorry she hadn’t come to see him after the accident in Nevada. To admit to him that she’d stolen thousands of dollars meant for his education to fund her own shopping sprees and whatever else she did when she and Ralph would disappear for days on end. To tell him she loved him.
He got none of that, he would get none of that. His mother didn’t love him, and now that he wasn’t of any use to her any longer, she wanted nothing to do with him. She had even called him a bastard before storming out of the apartment and out of his life. Carolina had been right. Wash always knew that she was…that didn’t change how much it hurt.
In a way, Wash figured he deserved whatever he got. He had let Nora Jenkins walk all over him knowing full well what she was doing. He had regressed back to old habits in order to cope. He had lied to the woman he loved, knowing full well how it would affect her if she found out. And of course, she had.
But Anna had forgiven him. It had taken a little while and Wash knew he still had a long way to go to gain her trust back, but he would never, never, lie to her again. Not even if his life depended on it.
It had been almost 11pm by the time Anna had responded to his texts. It had been close to midnight when he’d arrived at her house. His hands had been shaking badly from alcohol withdrawal and the stress of the afternoon. He was quiet most of the rest of the night and early morning hours, letting Anna do most, if not all of the talking. She told him again about her Dreams, the way Hans had treated her. Wash vowed again that he would never lie to her.
Then she talked about what she’d been doing the last few weeks. The movie she had just finished filming. It made her excited and Wash was excited for her. He was looking forward to the premier. His girlfriend. A movie star.
Eventually Anna fell asleep. Wash remained awake for the next several hours. He watched the sun as it started to come up outside the sliding glass doors. He listened to the other members of the house as they woke up and started moving around. He smelled coffee brewing and breakfast being made.
He knew eventually he would have to speak with Stefan. When he was ready. Right now he was anything but. Hands shaking, depression and anxiety pulling him back and forth. He was a mess.
It was another few hours of listening and watching the night turn into day, but Wash did finally fall asleep. His rest was fitful, but at least it was rest. Something he hadn’t gotten much of the past two weeks.
He slept most of the day and it was after three in the afternoon when he woke up again. He wasn’t feeling well. He hadn’t eaten much of anything the day before, but he didn’t have any appetite.
He ventured from the bedroom -- maybe coffee would help -- but froze when he heard Stefan’s voice.
The rest of the house had been in and out, up and down for hours. Anna herself had been up and down, had showered, come out and seen the rest of the house, but locked herself back up in her room to nap with Wash as he recovered from a very long night. She was snoozing now, bathed in sunshine and wrapped in silky sheets, as Wash finally ventured out.
Stefan had talked with Anna earlier, and was in the middle of making her a late lunch. The door opened, and Stefan asked his question, but Anna didn’t reply. So he turned to look down the hallway, and saw…
Wow. Wash had absolutely looked better. He was pale and shaky. Though Stefan had been a little irritated with the guy for what he’d put Anna through, it was quickly becoming apparent that Anna and Wash had reconciled. Now Stefan was less concerned with Anna’s feelings, and more concerned with Wash’s physical health. His brow furrowed.
“You wanna cup of coffee?” He called out to Wash, pausing in the doorway to the kitchen.
Wash hesitated. He’d been vaguely aware that Anna had been up and out of the bedroom a couple of times. He didn’t know if she’d seen or spoken to Stefan, had told the vampire that he was there. Stefan didn’t look angry, though, which was a relief. Wash’d had enough people angry with him the past several days (again, not that he didn’t deserve it). The concern on the other man’s face was a little surprising just the same.
“Yeah. Thank you.” the sound of his own voice startled him. It was hoarse, scratchy and hurt his throat. He hesitated in the hall outside Anna’s door a moment longer before venturing into the kitchen.
Stefan paused for a second at the sound of Wash’s voice, considering him. Then he nodded, and disappeared back into the kitchen. Anna had a Keurig machine, so it was a simple procedure to put a pod in and fill up a mug. It gave Stefan something to do with his hands, too, which was always a good thing. Vampires didn’t have to move or to breathe, so sometimes the stillness was disturbing.
“I didn’t hear you come in,” Stefan spoke to Wash without looking at him while the coffee dripped into the “I ❤ Vampires” coffee mug. “Last night, was it?” Stefan was well aware how upset Anna was, and how it’d been a while since Wash had stayed over.
It was the middle of the afternoon, the hottest part of the day, but Wash couldn’t help how his hands and arms shook. It would pass eventually. He considered himself lucky that the shakes were the only physical symptom this time. The air in the kitchen felt as though it was about ten degrees cooler than it was in Anna’s room. Goosebumps broke out across the scars on his back and chest and down his arms.
Not wanting to loom in Stefan’s kitchen, Wash took a seat at the table, his hands rubbing at his bare shoulders. “Yeah.” His voice was still hoarse and still scratched his throat, but not quite as badly this time. “I came around the side,” he admitted. “Anna and I still had some things to talk about and I didn’t think you’d want to see me.”
He was fidgeting anxiously now, fingers working hard against each other, as he watched the coffee fill the mug.
“Well, to be honest, I wasn’t very happy with you after Bubbles told me about what happened in the Karaoke bar.” Stefan didn’t like admitting it, because he didn’t like to kick a guy when he was so down. But he wanted to tell the truth. “Anna didn’t talk to me about it. I didn’t get the details, except what Bubbles mentioned.”
The coffee finished brewing into the cup, and Stefan brought it over to Wash. He set it on the table in front of him. “But I trust you, and I trust Anna. If she welcomed you back, and you two made up? That’s good enough for me.”
Mostly. Stefan really wanted to give the quasi-older-brother if you hurt her again talk. But he knew Wash didn’t deserve it. Wash was a good man.
Wash didn’t feel like a good man, and he didn’t believe that he was. But he was working on it. He didn’t kid himself. He had a long way to go and a lot to make up for, not just to Anna, but to York, Carolina, even Stefan himself.
Anxious fidgeting hands wrapped around the mug the moment it was placed in front of him, thankful to have something to hang on to. They still shook when he raised the mug to take a drink, but not so bad that he spilled it. He was at least thankful for that.
He was also thankful that Stefan was, in fact, not going to rip off his face, figuratively or literally. “Thank you, Stefan,” he said.
Stefan watched Wash pick up the mug, frowning at the shake of his hands. He moved slowly to the kitchen table and slipped into the seat opposite Wash’s, folding his arms across his middle. “You’re welcome.” He said, softly. “If you don’t mind me saying, you look like crap.”
Wash looked up from the mug. Stefan’s words drew a small semi laugh. “I feel like crap.” He tightened his hands around the mug. “I’d started drinking again.” He admitted, eyes moving down to his mug. That much should have been obvious if Bubbles had told Stefan where she and Anna had caught Wash in his lie, but he felt as though he needed to say it anyway. “I’m sobering up again. Withdrawing. So I might look like crap for the next few days.” It had taken weeks after the detox at the cabin before Wash had even started to feel normal again. That was likely to be the case again, but at least he wasn’t having full on DT’s this time. That was something he did not relish having to re-experience. Just thinking about it now made him wince.
“Yeah, that part I knew.” Stefan said, folding his hands on the table in front of him. “You’ve got support? Carolina? Someone to watch over you while you detox?” Stefan could understand about detoxing. He’d never had to deal with an alcohol detox, but he’d dealt with other kinds. Many times. And he knew how important having support around a person was.
“Yeah,” Wash nodded. “Carolina.” He probably should have been at home now so that Carolina could watch over him while his body once again acclimated to not having alcohol in it. “But I had to talk to Anna.” And going through withdrawals didn’t seem like a good enough reason to not see her, especially after she had finally responded to his texts after days of nothing. He shuddered and tightened his grip around the mug.
“She’s been really busy lately,” Stefan said, making up excuses for his tiny, red-haired friend. “She practically lives at the movie studio. And she’s been babbling nonstop about going to London for a few days.” He pulled himself up out of his chair to refill his coffee mug. He brought the pot back with him to the table and set it on a hot pad. Wash could take more if he wanted.
“I know she has,” Wash said. His hands were tight around his coffee mug. Anna spending so much time filming, it wasn’t much of a wonder that she hadn’t noticed Wash withdrawing, not only from her, but from everyone else, Stefan included. He wanted her to be happy, and he never wanted to do or say anything to get in the way of that.
Wash watched Stefan get to his feet to refill his cup and then bring the pot back to the table. He looked at the half full pot, but didn’t refill his mug. He hadn’t drank much from his mug, seeking the warmth more than anything else. “I’m glad she’s got this opportunity.”
“I had no idea she was interested in acting at all,” Stefan said. “Came as a bit of a surprise. But she seems to be really happy with what she’s doing now, so I’m not complaining.” He sipped his own coffee, eyes resting on Wash’s hand wrapped around his mug. He was still concerned. No matter what Wash said, Stefan was still going to be concerned about him. He was a friend first, and Anna’s boyfriend second. He, Stefan, had been the one to introduce the pair, hadn’t he? He took a deep breath, and released it. “It’s gonna be okay.” He said, softly.
Wash looked from the coffee pot to his friend across the table, a little surprised at what he’d said. It had been a long time since Wash had really felt as though he wasn’t alone. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever not felt alone, isolated, hiding. A lump formed hard in his throat.
“Yeah, it will,” he agreed quietly. “Thank you, Stefan.”
“Anytime.” Stefan replied. He lifted his coffee mug and clinked it against the small portion of ceramic that was visible through Wash’s fingers. The vampire was glad he could be there for his friend. Hopefully his presence was helping.