Rita is a nosy fucker. (acidink) wrote in valarcomm, @ 2012-12-07 16:12:00 |
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Entry tags: | rita skeeter |
Good evening, folks! We have a slew of new stories today, as well as a particularly sad one. From Lingerie Orgies to reclusive playrights, to robots, we have it all today!
Reports have gotten about about ballerina super star Fleur Delacour’s so-called accident. A broken leg, and bruises. An accident during practice. A likely story. We all know what’s going on. An affair with Jim Kirk that enraged Fleur’s boyfriend to violence!
Model/actress Ginny Weasley was witnessed engaging in an erotic adventure with her mysterious hot bodyguard! As seen in the following set of images, their affair continues unabated! Just last week, he took her on a romantic date. Is this more than an affair?
Nighthawk is dead. Good riddance. The mysterious cat-lady has not been seen of late either. Witnesses have reported a group of girls in short mini-skirts, interrupting robberies and several muggings. No one knows who they are, but this reporter only knows that they’re whores.
Has Nighthawk turned into Charlie to these miniskirted angels? What sort of hedonistic orgies occur behind his closed doors?
News exploded about the engagement between the eccentric Iron Man and his long suffering CEO Pepper Potts. Our inside sources tell us that Ms. Potts is expecting. Will the combined brains of these two people make a super baby?
Ms. Potts isn’t the only expectant mother! Caprica Six, who as you all remember was linked to a dozen different men and women, is pregnant with Regulus Black’s child! Caprica has an odd relation to the Black family, having been raised by Regulus’s aunt and uncle, though there is no blood relation. We’ve proof they’ve engaged to be married! That’s just wonderful, and should put to rest those pesky rumors.
Singer Pinkie Pie was recently divorced from her husband Wade Wilson, after she was caught engaged in numerous affairs, including with astronaut James Kirk, actor Thor, and actress Natasha Romanoff. It is reported the two settled for a several million dollar payout to Mr. Wilson. To be made in tacos.
Thor Odinson, whose career was started on a low budget fantasy show and launched thanks to his ‘friendship’ with Natasha Romanoff, has been linked to several ladies lately. Exotic dancer Alice Ayres (who has also been linked to a mr. Oliver Wood), a woman by the name of Verity, Kitty Pryde, a computer expert who’s been seen with Jim Kirk’s fiance Hermione Granger, and a local doctor by the name of Faiza Hussain.
Really, ladies, I don’t blame you. I do suggest you all see that doctor.
For those who want some photographic proof, we have some HQ pictures of Thor and Ms. Romanoff on the floor of a local gym together! Just go behind the paywall!
Natasha Romanoff recently hosted a lingerie party at a local hotel, for herself and quite a few women from the valarnet. Reports on the inside indicated copious booze. We have some exclusive pictures behind the paywall, courtesy of some very clever techniques. We’ll also have the true story of the decedance that went on behind closed doors.
America’s favorite pornstar continues his sexual conquests with the Queens, but the true crime here is his relationship with an underage teenage boy. Reports indicate the relationship has become sexual. We have our eyes on you, Zevran. Hopefully we introduce you to Bubba.
Loras Tyrell, a mixed martial artist of some repute, was spotted getting extremely close to another man. How close? Well we have some pictures here, and as you can see, extremely, snoggingly close. What does this mean for his career, wrestling sweaty, mostly naked men to the ground into head locks with his legs?
Come on folks, we should have seen this coming.
She’s been talked about in theatrical circles. The mysterious writer of Naked Humanity and Shakespearean actress, eccentric and reclusive. We spoke with the tattoo and makeup artists responsible for her full body make over, as well as with Mr. Odinson and Ms. Romanoff, who are both rumored to be playing parts in an upcoming play of hers. They described her as witty and brilliant, as well as describing some of the other plays she’s worked on.
There’s talk of a pink Lady MacBeth!The following is cell phone video taken at a local cafe, of some strange mechanical creature attacking a car.Video has been taken down
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A serial killer, responsible for several slayings earlier this year escaped during transport to another facility. Her whereabouts are currently unknown. Her most famous murder was the killing of the mother of local club owner Marian Hawke.
We bring you to our last, and most tragic news ever. Actor Thor Odinson is dead. He was last spotted linked to local teacher Emma Frost and Urdnot Ranch employee Scott Summers. Their torrid threesome ended in a terrible car accident, which claimed Thor’s life.