Angela Chase (so_called) wrote in undertherainbow, @ 2008-03-02 14:28:00 |
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Entry tags: | angela chase, reno |
{Private} Sometimes it seems like everything is just, like, crashing down around you. And when it lands it's just so.. quiet and alone. It's like you're in this huge cavern or something, and there's nobody around for miles. Even if that weird guy is sitting at the desk right next to you in geometry. It's like that desk is lightyears away, or something.
So I'm coming to the complete realization that I would have no friends at all if I hadn't lived in Three Rivers all my life. I'm just not good at being the new kid. It's so much easier to know people just because they were always there, you know? When you're a little kid, you can be friends with someone just because they live next door, or because your parents hang out or something. You just get your Carebears or your My Little Ponies and you just play. And then you have someone for, like, ever. Even when you grow up and get different interests, you can still go to them if you really need them. And so it finally hit me that I'll never have another Sharon Cherski again. Because it's impossible to become friends with someone like that when you're teenagers. And we had our bumps, but she was so dependable, and I knew that if I ever really needed somebody? Somebody I could trust.. That Sharon was there.
And there's zero chance of finding another Rayanne. Nobody could be like her. She just had this fire that is so completely impossible to replicate, or whatever. After everything.. I mean, maybe it's best that she isn't here. But it just feels like there's this huge.. emptiness.
{Reno} I don't know what you thought I meant, but I like.. wasn't trying to say that you shouldn't talk to me. It's just weird that you would leave me messages and stuff, then refuse to hang out. I'm not going to jump your bones, or anything.