HOWARD MOON'S PINK PANTS - a history
I've been holding off on this post, for two reasons.
Firstly - because everyone who's interested in Howard Moon's underpants has already seen them about a million times. Right?
Secondly - well, it does seem a bit tawdry, even for me. The Boosh is about so much more than just gawking at grown men's meat and two veg. It's about soaring creativity, wit, style and panache. It's about silly outfits, talking planets, funky little jazz trances and having sex with wildlife.
Yeah. All of that. And yet I'm about to fill a whole post with photos such as these.
*hangs head in shame*
So what the heck.
I was never at any of the live shows, but I've been reliably informed that at the early ones, when Howard Moon came out in his big furry coat he wasn't yet wearing the famous Boosh pants underneath.
Alas, that does not mean he was naked (see below for confirmation).
Although when you see shots like this
And this, and muse on the skin-stroking possiblities of all that fur on his naked skin, it does seem a terrible waste. :)
Hmmm. And by the way, Lizard, hello. Can you imagine it? Can you? Heh heh heh.
But enough of that. *snaps out of reverie*
At that time, he was completely clothed. Double clothed. Any nakedness in the pictures above is a fantasy of my sick, warped mind.
However, later on.. That's an entirely different matter.
Are you sitting comfortably? For I'm about to begin a long and mystical tale of underwear, intrigue, and the near-fatal overexcitement of thousands of Julian Barratt fans. Let us begin...
*da-da-dum* THE SAGA OF THE PANTS!
The Mark One Prototype Pants came in a dangerously loose-fitting sparkly silver finish. Some of the best photos of this early model are from from Ginger DJ Rob, who enjoyed a front seat row at the Southampton gig where they were unveiled to assorted gasps and whistles, not to mention palpitations from the more nervous of disposition.
I'll let Rob tell the story in his own words:
"During the introduction an obsessive fan threw 2 pairs of sequinned kickers on the stage, one pair falling short then me handing the pants to Noel! The duo took it in their stride and wore their new clothing additions much to the delirious delight of the mega-fan behind me who giddily laughed at nearly word spoken by the cast...
Here are Rob's photos of that very moment:
The spangly kickers re-appeared on Howard Moon again, this time showing his bare arse and naked spindly legs with the obsessive fan behind me going into love adoration heckling over-drive!
And he has photos of that moment as well. Rather good ones, in fact. Thanks, Rob!
How the same man who's so so happy to swing his nadger around in front of thousands of screaming Boosh fans later blushes like a little girl when asked to sing a little bit of a song on Jonathan Ross... well, it's a conundrum.
I suppose he really is in another world when he's in character.
Anyway, back to the pants. The spangly pants. Want to see some more pictures? Do you? Huh? Huh?
I thought so.
Wheeee! Look at bits of him go!
From the front
And the aforementioned arse
Feel dirty now, do we? Had a good ogle? Well, good. I'm glad you're satisfied.
But what a bizarre combination. The vest of a 78 year old grandad and the knickers of a teenage lap dancer.
And which 38 year old actually wears a vest like that? (Apart from Julian Barratt.) Aren't vests something grandads wear to keep their kidneys warm? The last time I or anyone I know wore a vest like that, I was 12 and wore it because my mum had forced me to. And I'm about the same age as him.
The Boosh must have been working pretty fast after that, spinning their comic genius, because at the next show, suddenly...
What, you want to see it from the front, do you? Are you sure? His bum is also very nice, you know.
Really, really sure?
Oh, alright then. Enjoy, you perverts.
Hey - hold on there a second - where the hell has he put it all in such tiny pink pants? I'll recap. From this -
To this! How the flip did he do that? And was there man-origami involved? o_O It's a mystery of astounding-sized proportions.
Mmm, beautiful wide ribcage. HE BIG MAN!
He angry man!
He scowling man. (Scowling man with a nice arse though.)
He man lost in own deep sing song thoughts. The type of mystical thoughts only happen when men sing in tight little pink pants.
He a man suddenly feel strangely happy for no reason
I would even say he smug man.
A man so very happy he must sing.
So overwhelmingly pants-happy, this man suddenly have to give little dance. Yes!