Willow Danielle Rosenberg - Buffyverse (extraflamey) wrote in thedisplaced, @ 2018-02-25 22:23:00 |
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She’d admitted to Tara that she found the other woman cute, and then in typical Willow fashion had turned into a bumbling, awkward, nerdy, over-talking (over writing? Was that a thing?) dork. However, as she’d been assured many times before that - theoretically - wasn’t inherently an issue. Tara knew her. Or at least knew a version of her that seemed to be quite very her like at the very least. Which was good that it wasn’t slutty, creepy, kind gay sort of her like from that vampire world they’d encountered once before because that would have been all sorts of bad, and weird, and very much with the not good. Regardless, now they were here. And here? Here Willow had called Tara cute to Tara over the network after Tara had been drinking - which sort of seemed like a cop out the more the red headed witch thought about it - and the other woman had said it was okay, and…. Willow’s brain just wasn’t stopping, didn’t know how to stop, but at the exact same time her mind also didn’t seem to know where to go either. It was a catch-22 of the utmost frustration. Yet, that wasn’t the only matter of frustration that had settled into the witch’s mind and bones. That attack that had occurred back at the last stop still swirled around in her mind. So many people had been hurt, injured and even died and she hadn’t been able to do anything, she hadn’t been able to really help. At least, not help in the method and manner that she’d wanted to help others. Buffy was always so strong, and it was amazing what her best friend could do, but… It left Willow in a mix of wanting to be better, stronger, while also feeling useless, and frustrated at her inability to assist in protecting anyone. She didn’t want to sit on the sidelines, she didn’t want to be in need of rescuing. Certainly, Willow wasn’t sure she’d ever be capable of saving others, really saving them like Buffy - or even Faith in theory - could do, but… She at least didn’t want to be a hindrance anymore. And if she could help? Instead of getting in Buffy’s way or feeling like she was failing Tara because she was basically incapable of doing anything right? That would be even better. That was why Willow had taken to the network. That was why she’d asked to practice and cross train magical types and energies with anyone who would listen or be even remotely willing to help. That was why she’d asked if anyone had previously had any luck with crossing technology with magic for potential chaotic energy stabilization. That was why…. Instead of being out and about and partying, and treating this like a vacation Willow had locked herself away so much, with whatever notes and schematics and knowledge and info she’d been able to gather or carry along with her. A mess of papers sprawled out before her and the amount of time she’d poured into each note, each draft, each potential item that needed further research and consideration for further exploration? It was significant. It was perhaps more than she should have, it was maybe obsessive and some might even consider it a touch unhealthy to get so obsessed with trying to figure this all out, but… Willow just wanted…. Willow wanted to protect others, wanted to not feel so useless, wanted to contribute and assist and do her best to not be in the way and…. She wanted to help. |