katniss everdeen - au, jaha (burningwings) wrote in thedisplaced, @ 2018-02-10 23:10:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log/thread, gale hawthorne (au), katniss everdeen (au) |
WHO: Katniss & Gale
WHAT: a reunion!
WHEN: tonight, just after Gale arrived
WHERE: med bay
WARNINGS: Gale is a little hijacked, and their lives kinda suck, so there are some mentions of violence. But it ends on a sweet note, at least. :)
Gale had gone from being in District 12, rebuilding (his neighbor’s house, specifically), when it happened. He was swirled up in bright light, and awoke in a very clean room. He still had dirt on his face when they gave him shots. Gale put up a fight at first, until someone calmly explained everything to him-- at least they respected him enough to give him a good reason. There were no threats, just a reassurance that if he continued, he’d go into the brig.
Confused, he looked at the tablet they gave him. It wasn’t long before he found out that Katniss was there and she was on her way to see him.
Gale paced the medbay, trying to put together everything that happened. Sometimes his memory was a little tricky-- the tracker jacker venom wasn’t there anymore but he did slip up. “I was in 12 and now I’m on a boat. I was in 12 and now I’m on a boat.”
…
Gale was here. Katniss had not yet determined which Gale it was, the one from her timeline or the other - and with Gale, that made a pretty big difference - but for the moment, she didn’t care. She would take either one over none at all.
Wherever there weren’t many people in the hallways or on the stairs, she ran. She slowed down only when there were groups of people around, and tried not to seem too impatient about getting past them, but wasn’t sure that it worked. She didn’t care about that either.
She got to the medbay, and pushed her way inside. There were a lot of new arrivals, but she spotted Gale immediately. She half-expected someone to stop her as she moved over to him, but they didn’t. She slowed when she saw that he was pacing and talking to himself; she hadn’t seen him do that before, and she wasn’t entirely sure what it meant. It reminded her that he was going to be hijacked in the future, that if this was that Gale, he might perceive her as a threat. She moved into his line of sight before she moved within his reach, even though all she wanted to do was throw her arms around him.
“Gale,” she said, and then, for lack of anything better to say, “I’m here.”
--
Gale stopped pacing and looked up from the floor. He felt like he could barely breathe, every time he saw her. He wondered if it would always be like that, even when they were old. Would they know each other when they were old still? He hoped so, at least.
He took a few steps forward and then a few more, until he had gone to put his hand on her hip. “Hi. Why does it feel like it’s been awhile since I’ve seen you?” The last he saw her was at lunch, before climbing back up onto the roof of the neighbor’s house. Prim made lemonade. It was springtime.
---
Katniss watched him take a few steps forward, and then she was fairly sure that he didn’t feel threatened by her, that she didn’t need to feel threatened. She took a few steps forward, too, to meet him halfway, and when he put a hand on her hip she stepped even closer and threw her arms around his neck. She closed her eyes and took in the familiar feel and scent of him, and let herself feel for the first time how much she’d missed him.
“Probably because it’s been awhile since I’ve seen you,” she answered, her voice a little muffled in his shoulder. She couldn’t remember exactly how long it had been, because she’d been actively not thinking about it. “I missed you.”
--
She was all around him now and he just smiled. His hands moved to the small of her back and he bent a little to compensate for the height difference. He remembered when they first met, she was almost taller than him. Gale shot up.
“What are you talking about?” His voice was even, perhaps even a little amused. “I’m the crazy one here, Katnip.” She didn’t let go of him and he didn’t let go of her. He could stay like this for awhile.
---
“I told you, it’s a long story,” Katniss said. She had wanted to see him first, to figure out which Gale he was - it was looking more and more like he was her Gale, who had been hijacked already, and had recovered from it - and she wasn’t really entirely ready to go into this whole explanation yet, but it looked like they didn’t really have a choice.
She didn’t let go of him, but she did pull back enough to look up at him, . “And it’s only going to be harder to hear if this is already confusing for you. We have to talk about this world, and also… our timeline at home. I’m not sure which one we should start with.”
---
He adjusted his arms when she pulled back, keeping his eyes on her as she spoke. “They told me that people are from different times and different places. They said it would be confusing. But I kind of understand it. I just don’t know why we’re on a magical boat.” Gale gnawed at the inside of his cheek for a moment, then lead Katniss over to one of the medbay beds.
He held her wrists loosely and sat down, pulling her with him. “So what’s the last thing you remember?” She didn’t look any different than his Katniss. Don’t think like that-- she was his Katniss.
---
“I’m not sure it’s a magical boat,” Katniss said, although she wasn’t sure if that was helpful. “It’s advanced technology, different from what they had in the Capitol. Although it’s fancy enough to be something they’d like.”
She said that a little wryly; she wasn’t overly fond of the luxury, the seemingly endless supply of rich food, because of how it reminded her of the Capitol. When she thought about it too hard, she ended up having trouble describing why she didn’t think it was from the Capitol, because there were only small differences: robots instead of Avoxes, the food wasn’t instantly ready at the push of the button, the showers didn’t have as many soap options, the windows in their room didn’t change at will. But that only compared things here to the tribute’s tower, which was most of what she’d seen. Gale had seen a lot more, and she wasn’t sure the differences would seem so different to him.
“We’ve been pulled through a portal,” she said. “To a different world. And it’s not the first portal I’ve been through. It’s… been a couple of years since I was home.” She paused to let that sink in, although she was sure it wouldn’t make any sense. “The last thing I remember is being pulled out of the arena. The first time. But I know more about what happens after that.”
---
One of his eyebrows jumped up at the mention of the Capitol. “Yeah-- no.” He thought this reminded him of the Capitol, the way it was so clean and the people seemed fake. Gale shook his head, “Then we can’t be here.” But if it was that easy to leave, she probably wouldn’t be here, now would she?
He listened to her, only letting go of her to scratch his nose absently. “Okay, a portal.” Years? “Katniss, just how trapped are we? I’m not saying you can’t get yourself out of a situation, but we got out of the arena once, we could get out of here…” It took him a second to register what she said. She was from before everything happened. Almost everything.
“Annie and Finnick?” Where were they from? Was their kid here?
---
“We don’t really have a choice,” Katniss said. “The portal puts us wherever it wants. We can only deal with the world we’re in.” She knew he wasn’t going to like that answer, and she didn’t like it either, but it was the only answer she had to give. She wasn’t going to try to make it up or sugarcoat it. “It’s not the arena. But it’s not entirely safe either.”
She let her arms fall from around his shoulders, but kept her hands on him, on the front of his shirt. At some point he would put enough together to understand that they hadn’t been together in her time - although she wasn’t entirely sure that they had been in his. It seemed likely, from the way he’d immediately put a hand on her hip. And then it would be another thing to explain that he’d been here before, that they’d been together then, but now he didn’t remember.
She figured it was easiest to stick to answering his questions, one at a time, and not offer new information until he was ready for it. “Annie and Finnick are from after the war. A few years after, I think. Tristan and Magda are here, too, if you know them - their kids. Johanna’s here too, from after the war - she told me to say hi.”
--
His eyes fell and he was shaking his head. No, no, there had to be a way. Just someone didn’t think of it yet. She said it wasn’t safe and he was looking at her again, “What do you mean by that?”
Gale put his hands over hers, trying to breathe normally. When they first told him this, he found it hard to believe. Katniss telling him it somehow was making him react badly all over again. He thought she’d have a better explanation. At the mention of Magda, he was puzzled for a moment. Mags. Of course they’d name their child after her.
“Johanna,” he said looking away and laughing. “Okay, so what do we do here? Just sit around all day?”
--
“Gale,” Katniss said, doing her best to keep her voice even, “Breathe.” She paused, then added, hoping it was true, “You’re safe right now. For now, yes, we’re just sitting around.”
She kept her hands where they were, but curled her fingers partially around his. She had been trying not to overwhelm him, but that was turning out to be harder than she’d imagined. She wasn’t sure if the touch was helping to steady him or not, but she wasn’t going to pull away unless it seemed to be doing him more harm than good.
“What’s the last thing you remember?” she asked him next, hoping that maybe it would help to ground him. Even if it didn’t, it was something she wanted to know. “From home.”
--
Gale nodded quickly, taking in a deep breath through his mouth. “I’m breathing, I’m okay.” Annie had said she was okay, Finnick was joking with him. Yes, he was safe.
Her touch was helping, it let him know that even though she was from a time before him, she still felt for him. When she was pretending for the cameras with Peeta, it made him so angry. The bad kind of jealous.
“The last thing I remember was I was on the Keenshire’s house. We were rebuilding 12. From the firebombing. You were there, and so was Prim and your mom. We had tents up, while we were building.”
--
“Okay,” Katniss said. He was breathing a little better, seemed less on edge. She tightened her fingers around his, reassuringly. “So you remember that I got out of the arena. That we went back in together. And then the Capitol took you, but we got you back. And we won the war.”
Those were the pieces she had, the ones she knew about. If he wanted to fill in more details, he could, and maybe later she would ask, but she wouldn’t ask now. She looked down at their hands, and tried to figure out how to tell him the rest. Her side, her timeline.
Finally, she just started from the beginning. “What I remember is - I got lifted out of the arena, the first one, and then there was a portal in the sky. Like the one you saw before you got here. And then I woke up in a different medical bay, in a bunker called Mt. Weather. You weren’t there, but Annie was, and then Finnick, and then I made friends with some of the others who were stuck there. You’ll meet one of them, he’s been like a little brother to me. His name is Baelfire.”
She looked back up at his face, to see how much of this he was following. “I was there for a little over a year. It was just a bunker and woods. And then another portal took me to an island, and you were there, right when I arrived. It’s okay that you don’t remember that.”
There was a lot more to tell, but she paused there, to let him try to take that in before she kept going.
--
Gale nodded again, acknowledging her retelling was how things went down. “You left out the part where they hijacked me, you know about that, right?” He looked at her, pained. That was the worst thing they could have done to him. It still messed with him, but in little ways. At least he didn’t want to kill her anymore, and knew who she really was.
“Baelfire,” he repeated. “Prim’s not here, you said that.” He was taking mental inventory of the people here. Annie, Finnick, Johanna, two children. Katniss. Baelfire.
“Should I remember that? Or did something happen to me? Where did I go?” Gale realized he sounded a little panicked and stopped, took a deep breath and looked at her expectantly. “I’m okay.”
--
“Yes,” Katniss answered. She knew, she just hadn’t been able to say it out loud. It was so much more real, seeing him from after that had happened, noticing the differences. She knew him too well not to see them clearly, the differences in the way he moved, the way he spoke, the way he thought. “I know about that.”
She still wasn’t quite ready to talk about that, and she told herself it was because she hadn’t finished telling him everything, that they needed to move forward and finish the broad strokes before they talked about the smaller details. But that wasn’t a small detail, not really; it was his opinion of her, how he felt about her, and she was equal parts desperate and afraid to know the answer.
“Prim was here,” she said. “The portal took her back home. Just like it took you. A lot of people forget these places when they go home - I don’t know why. But you’re not the only one, and nothing is wrong with you.” She didn’t know for sure that was true, either, but there was no reason for them to worry about it. “You’re okay,” she repeated, nodding. “And I’m okay, too. I’ve just been here for a while without you. We were on the island, and then we were in a place called Tumbleweed, and then we were in space, and then back in Tumbleweed, and then you went home. And since then, I’ve mostly been in Tumbleweed, it’s a small city in North America, kind of like the continent that Panem used to be. But then the portal took me here, along with everyone else that was still in Tumbleweed with me, and now you’re back.”
She watched him carefully. “Does any of that make sense at all?”
--
Gale’s eyes were vacant for a moment, staring off into space past Katniss’ head. She knew about the hijacking and she was still fine sitting here with him. That was a good sign. Very good, she was letting him touch her. The worst part was over.
He started to speak, and then stopped. He started a second time, “Yeah, it makes sense. I mean-- it doesn’t really, but I understand.” That’s what they called him, ‘displaced.’ They were just put someplace else for the time being.
“When I was here before, were we together?” Gale thought it might be too forward of him to ask, but well, he was kind of forward anyway. She was touching him, it might be stupid to ask. But they were always pretty close to each other. “I mean-- you know I love you, right? Because I do. I do.”
--
“That’s about as much sense as it makes to me,” Katniss admitted, smiling a little. “So you’re doing fine.”
She wasn’t expecting the next question, but at the same time, she was. Only she’d expected to be the one to ask it. Unconsciously, her grip tightened, and she was holding her breath. She was trying to figure out how to answer - even now, she couldn’t help doubting which answer he was looking for, not because of him, but because of the hijacking. And then he answered that for her, without her having to ask.
“You do?” she asked, unable to help herself. “Still? Even though they made you hate me?” She couldn’t have blamed him if the answer was no. She knew the power of the tracker jacker venom, the Capitol’s ability to turn people against each other.
And then she realized she still needed to answer his question. “Yes,” she managed, overwhelmed; her throat felt tight with emotion. “Yes. We were. Together.”
--
Gale smiled when she did, because that didn’t happen too often. Only in the woods. “Thanks to you.”
He squeezed her hands in his and leaned over to press his forehead to hers. “I do. They helped me in 13, my family was there. They told me the truth and I believed them. They made me hate you but … I got over it. I fought. You know me.”
With her answer, and already being close to her face, he gently touched his lips to hers. Just for a moment. Gale was still close enough to her that his nose brushed against hers. “We were together last I remember, so that’s good.”
--
Katniss was barely breathing. They had all told her that this was true -- Prim, Posy, Finnick, Annie, Johanna, all of them -- and she had wanted to believe it, but it was entirely something else to know that it was really true. She felt relieved, and terrified in the best kind of way, because it felt too good to be true, too easy to lose. And she felt guilty, too, for not believing in him enough to believe it before she saw it.
She leaned her head into his, swallowing hard. She was only just starting to get her breath back, and the kiss didn’t help, even though it was only the barest hint of a kiss. It wasn’t nearly enough.
Instead of answering him, she tilted her head up and kissed him back, not a lot harder, but hungrier.
--
Gale made a small sound of surprise and released her hands. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back, soundly. Part of him told him he shouldn’t, she wasn’t from the same timeline, she was different, was she different? It confused him even with the step by step account of their situation.
She was still Katniss. Even if there was time between them, she felt the same as she did where he came from. She only had to hear about the hijacking instead of live it. She didn’t have to get bruised by his hands.
He pulled away, “You’re going to need to tell me to breathe again.”
--
Katniss thought maybe she should put her arms around him again, but she couldn’t make them move; her hands stayed clutched in the front of his shirt. There were so many things she’d missed about Gale, and this was the newest one, the physical affection between them. It had still been a new feeling when he’d left, the warmth, the hunger that came with it, and it still felt new now, but familiar, too. And comforting, to know that it was still there, that it hadn’t changed.
“Breathe,” she told him, when he asked her to, but she was breathless too. She leaned into him, tucking her head under his chin, pressing her ear to his chest to listen to his heartbeat. Her fingers were still curled in his shirt, but she made them loosen a little. “Breathe.”
--
Gale raised one hand to hold the back of her head to his chest protectively. He was glad she was there, that she came to him as soon as she did. Maybe things wouldn’t have to change too much between them, maybe this would be all right.
He breathed, and he was happy.
--
Katniss closed her eyes and breathed, too, until she felt a little steadier. She turned her head slightly into his chest, soaking in the feeling of safety that came from his arms being around her. Maybe that was what she’d been most scared of losing; the safety, comfort, and trust between them. And maybe it would be harder to rebuild later, after she had lived through him attacking her and hating her. Right now she was very okay with not having to remember any of it.
She was silent for a long time, and then she spoke again. “I’m not good at saying it yet,” she said, and that was just the barest hint of a whole conversation they’d had, not long before he’d disappeared, which somehow made it even scarier to say, as if it had been the thing that had sent him away and might send him away again. But it was only going to get harder to say later, when she had even more to lose, and she had to say it at least once. “But I love you, too.”
--
Gale was okay to just sit there like that for as long as she needed-- for as long as he needed. This was his new home. The rug was pulled out under him again. Things kept happening to him. Not having control over things bothered him. But he really hadn’t had any control for quite some time now.
“You don’t have to say it,” he reassured her. It was nice to hear, but it was even better to just know it. “It’s okay, I know.” Katniss wasn’t a liar. He knew that in reality.
“We’re safe here,” he reminded her. They could actually be together now. They didn’t have to worry about fighting for their lives anymore.