ariel doesn't want to be bad stuff (mergal) wrote in theaurors, @ 2017-07-27 22:04:00 |
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Entry tags: | arc: salem incident, c: ariel singleton, c: et o'brian, c: miles hastings, d: october 21 2017 |
WHO: Ariel & Miles with Interrupting ET
WHAT: Drunk!Ariel wants to confess it all
WHERE: Hanging Gallows
WHEN: Flash back to Saturday 10:15
RATING: PG-13
STATUS: Incomplete
Ariel hadn’t realized how much she’d need to just take a day and let loose a little bit. A simple beer tasting had turned to maybe a few too many drinks early on. She was still pissed off at Ben, but since he decided to take Preston and ET off on an adventure at the Pirate Museum, she wasn’t raging at him right now.
So there was drinking! Hanging out with Pamela. And then hanging out with Miles. He seemed to be having a good time, and Ariel was happy about that. If anyone deserved to have a good time, it was Miles. Holding onto her latest drink, she made her way over to Miles at the bar.
“Miiiles!” she said really hoping her voice wasn’t slurring. “Are you testing your alcohol limits?” Ariel asked as she got close, her hand touching his arm to steady herself.
--
Miles smiled as Ariel walked up. The week of working together seemed to have shaken away much of the awkwardness that had lingered between them after the last year, so that interacting casually didn't feel odd. In fact, it felt far stranger that they had time off in the first place, after an intense week of very little downtime. Even attempted downtime had turned into investigation, more often than not. It had felt good, though, being back on the job. Whether or not the downtime would be equally as good remained to be seen.
He shook his head and leaned back against the bar, watching her approach. "Not so much. I'm either too much of a beer snob or not enough." Or it was something about his new physiology that he hadn't encountered yet that made beer not taste the way he expected it should taste. He could still feel the one that he'd had--and not in the way that a person wanted to feel alcohol. "Having a good time?"
--
While there had been a lot of shitty things going on this week plus intense work, being able to work with Miles again hadn’t been a problem. And now she was finding herself wanting the downtime so they could just hang out and talk when she’d been so afraid of that before. The guilt was still there… but she hoping that maybe just maybe Miles had already forgiven her and didn’t hate her.
“That is very unfair for you,” she said and frowned at the fact he wasn’t nearly as drunk as her. “Yup I am!” Ariel said about having a good time. “I’m kind of drunk to be honest,” she said with a slight giggle.
--
Miles laughed. "The giggle might have given it away," he teased, turning to grab his own drink from the bar--ginger ale with lime. At least the cup was opaque enough that he could pretend it was something stronger, for the sake of appearances. Not that looking like he had a frilly mixed drink was much better. He took a sip and managed not to make a face. Maybe his stomach was just off today in general, if soda didn't even taste quite right. "Looks like everyone else has disappeared. Hopefully no one will let go too much."
He saw movement out of the corner of his eye and turned to see two nearby barstools being vacated. He nodded toward them. "Gonna stick around here with the wallflowers for a bit longer? Or do you have party places to be?"
--
Ariel covered her mouth with her hand as if to stifle another laugh. Typically, Ariel wasn’t the giggling type. She didn’t really know what was going with this beer. She’d gotten drunk on Thursday too but it wasn’t nearly as satisfying as this was. The eventual hangover would just have to be future!Ariel’s problem. Right now!Ariel wanted to spend time with Miles.
She gave Miles a look when he made a face after taking another drink. “That sucks if you can’t even like the taste,” she said not realizing he was drinking ginger ale for now. Ariel moved over to take a barstool when Miles gestured to the empty spaces. “Yeah whatever. Ben has gone on some break in mission and taken the band of merry men with him. Good riddance,” she said rolling her eyes when Miles mentioned everyone disappeared. She was still pissed at Ben. “Pft, no I’m fine right here,” Ariel said :and waved her hand about how she had nowhere else to go.
--
“It's fine,” Miles said with a shrug. He almost elaborated, but the brief urge to explain why he wasn't drinking much passed with the knowledge that it might make the conversation awkward again. He wasn't exactly excited to talk about his wolfish issues with anyone, but the small amount he'd discussed with Pamela earlier in the week hadn't bothered him nearly as much as the idea of broaching it with Ariel. And that bothered him even more. Conversation with her used to be easy. Before.
“You and Ben still not talking?” He hadn't talked to the other Auror about it, nor did he have any desire to get in the middle of things, but it surprised him the worst of it hadn't blown over with Simon’s reassignment. “You're more than welcome to keep me company for a while. As long as you don't ask me to dance.” Miles made a face. “I only do that for on-the-clock parties.” He couldn't help thinking of the last time--before.--they'd had an undercover assignment together.
--
Ariel let the conversation go about the drinks because even in her own drunken state she could tell that Miles didn’t want to talk about it. But when Miles asked about her and Ben… she didn’t feel like -not- talking about it like she had for days now. “Ben was an ass,” Ariel proclaimed before taking another drink. “And I’m not saying I wasn’t a bitch to him either, but he hit below the belt, and he knows it and there is no excuse,” she said. “Even if he’s right,” she muttered into her glass.
She was more than happy to keep Miles company though. Guilt had kept her from wanting to hang out with him Thursday after her fight with Ben (and Miles said he’d been on duty anyway). Ariel laughed at the dancing comment. “Come oooon. You’re not a bad dancer,” she teased him. Not that she’d planned on looking for a dance. She liked the thought now. And did miss those times of going undercover together as their default was always as a fake couple.
--
His face scrunched up with a bit of confusion. "Is this about something other than your dog and the funeral invasion?" Obviously there was more to the situation than what Ariel had told him before, which made a lot more sense knowing that their argument had lingered over three days now.
Miles shook his head, but he was smiling. It was impossible not to with Ariel looking at him like that, even if he knew much of her mirth was fueled by whatever she'd been drinking. Thankfully, the rough week hadn't turned it into a sullen sort of drunkenness. "Skill and desire are not the same thing. You're welcome to dance all you like, though. I like watching." He flashed a quick, brighter grin at her.
--
“Yeah…. Something besides that,” Ariel said when of course she’d more bluntly alluded to more. Ben had thrown it back in her face that her leaving Miles at a crime scene was far worse… which was true, but it was a dick move to end an argument. It was also another reminder that it was never going to go away… and Ariel wouldn’t really know if Miles forgave her unless he said it.
But at the same time, Miles was smiling and that made Ariel happy. She didn’t want to talk about things that didn’t make Miles smile. Unless… the truth would help with bringing back what they used to have. But she smirked at that flirty comment. “I bet you do,” Ariel said with a waggle of her eyebrows as she finished off her drink. “Maybe some other time. I promised to keep you company after all.”
--
Miles was a little surprised that Ariel didn’t elaborate, especially since she was drunk, but he chalked it up to a similar reticence to turning the conversation awkward. Not that she was required to share all of her business regardless, but she had always been the sort who seemed to talk more than she kept to herself. "Don't get me wrong, because I like the guy, but Ben definitely knows how to push people's buttons. Don't let it get to you too much."
He leaned one elbow on the bar and held up his glass in her general direction. "In that case, cheers. Here's to getting just the evidence we need and getting these cases wrapped up before things get even more hectic." He tried another sip of his drink, at least managing not to make a face this time.
--
Another drink was what Ariel needed if she was going to get deeper into that conversation. Which was obvious when she’d held up an empty beer glass for Miles’ cheers. “Cheers to that. Finishing the job and solving the case.” They’d only been here less than a week but it felt like ages.
She sighed thinking about what Miles said about Ben. “Yeah, he can push too far but I know it’s also me thinking too much about what he says,” Ariel said. She’d gotten herself upset twice in the last week about Ben implying she hadn’t been a good Auror because of what she did to Miles. “Basically… he just threw a comment back at me that his screw up wasn’t as bad leaving someone alone at a crime scene,” she said it leaving it out there and holding her breath against the awkward.
--
Miles started to reiterate that Ariel shouldn't put too much stock in some comment thrown at her during an argument, and especially not by someone like Ben, who just had a way with words that could sometimes be both enviable and annoying. But then she continued, and he was momentarily struck silent. He'd known Ariel had gotten put on desk duty because of the way that night had gone down, but it had never occurred to him that anyone on the team might still be talking about it in that context. He figured the whole werewolf thing sort of trumped how it had come about, but obviously he was wrong.
"You didn't leave me alone," he said, after a moment of contemplating how to say what he was thinking. "I chose to go, even though I knew you weren't coming. You called and told me. It's not quite the same thing."
--
While it was partly relief to hear Miles say that, and she even smiled at his assurance that she didn’t leave him, Ariel still felt the blame of that. “I know. But the fact is that I should have gone with you,” she said. She’d talked about this with other people… but never Miles. “I mean, it’s all in hindsight, but I was so fixated on getting Wilkes that I didn’t think about anyone else. And you paid the price for that,” Ariel admitted. “I’m guilty and I continue to feel that guilt. And… I’ve been so afraid to talk about it because of what you must have been going through because it’s not about me, I didn’t get my life changed because of my bad decision,” Ariel just rambled on.
--
Miles set his drink down on the bar so that he could lean forward and touch Ariel's arm. As uncomfortable as he still was talking about this with pretty much everyone, he didn't like knowing that he was leaving Ariel with such a weight of guilt by not bringing it up. If he'd known that things were this way, he might have been able to approach her sooner.
"Neither of us knew that I wouldn't be walking into a stable crime scene. What are the chances of clearing a scene only to have the perps come back before it's fully scrubbed for evidence?" He paused briefly for effect, then answered his own question. "Practically non-existent. We had no idea at the time how desperate we'd made them." Somehow it was easier to believe those words saying them to Ariel than it was saying them to himself.
--
Ariel looked to where Miles touched her arm before meeting his gaze instead. She didn’t stop him as he tried to reassure her that it wasn’t her fault. That she would have had no idea that Miles was in more danger than he should be. She reached to put her hand over Miles that was on her arm to keep it there. She had gone from happy and flirty drunk to… more honest then she’d thought she’d be.
“I know,” she nodded and agreed with what he was saying. “It still doesn’t change what happened,” Ariel said. Though it could have been even worse and she’d have no one to tell her that everything was okay. “I am sorry Miles,” she said again because she was sure she would be saying it forever. “And I should have done more. Been around more too but I just thought… you’d hate me for what I did,” she shook her head.
“But I’m telling you now… I am here for you. Anything you need, and I should have said so sooner. I don’t care that you’re werewolf… I mean I care, but… fuck, I mean… it doesn’t change the way I think about you, or care about you.” Or how she felt.
--
"God no, I don't hate you," Miles said with feeling, at the realization that it was even worse than he'd thought at the start of this conversation. Guilt was one thing, but assuming he'd changed that much? How could he hold Ariel any more responsible for what had happened than he held himself? It was ludicrous. "I'm--" He stopped, fighting for the right words but unsure that he'd be able to explain. He finally settled for, "I didn't really want anyone around those first few months, and then it was just...."
His chest felt heavy from the effort to express himself without ripping open the wounds that he'd been trying his best to keep tightly wrapped since spending more time around anyone other than a few select people. As she continued talking, it only made that weight press on him harder. "I know that. Really, I do. Things are just...I'm not the same." He hated the words even as they came out of his mouth, because he knew they were true. It was the real reason he hadn't been able to get himself to talk to her sooner. "I'm trying, but I'm not."
--
Ariel knew she was foolish to worry that Miles hated her, but it was a relief to actually hear him say that. She threaded her fingers with his from where he was touching her arm. It made sense that Miles hadn’t wanted to be around other people in the beginning and not just her. And it even made sense that Miles knew he wasn’t the same anymore. “I know I can’t completely understand what you’re going through, but I get it. I miss the way things used to be, but I know that we can’t just go back to that like nothing happened,” Ariel said hopefully giving Miles the reassurances he had given her. But it didn’t change the way Ariel felt though it might have changed how Miles would take it. “Miles…”
--
“O-M-G! Those are your co-workers? They’re totally hot. I’d be in so much trouble with HR if I worked with them. Are they all like that?”
ET grinned over the top of his beer glass at the group of co-eds he was apparently holding court with, and shrugged a shoulder. “Pretty much. It’s like we all walked off a runway, and into an office. But why mix pleasure with business?”
“Uh, because look at them?” one of the young women squealed.
“Dude,” this came out reverentially from a guy who was trying very hard to point at him, but couldn’t quite figure out which one he was referring to, as evidently there was two of him. "I will buy you a whole fuckin’ bottle of tequila if you go over there right now and lay one on both of ‘em!”
Well, that sounded like the greatest idea in the history of ever, and, really, why hadn’t he thought of it before? And if it got him free liquor, that was even better! “Challenge accepted!”
ET sauntered over to where Miles and Ariel sat at the bar. “Hello, gorgeous,” his voice was pitched low, and it was probably difficult to determine exactly who he was talking to. He fixed his gaze on Miles for a moment, and reached his hand up to rest on the other man’s upper arm lightly, fingers plucking a bit at the fabric of his shirt. He leaned toward Miles, gaze somewhat hooded, and it looked- for one (probably horrifying) moment- like ET was about to kiss him…
At the last possible second, however, when he was mere inches from Miles’ face, ET obviously reconsidered. There were any number of reasons why- for one, he found Miles attractive, sure, but he also felt much more of a brotherly affection for him than anything romantic. For another, there was the whole werewolf thing now, and he honestly wasn’t sure how Miles might react to suddenly being kissed. Quite frankly, ET was very happy with where his balls were right now, and didn’t necessarily want to be violently parted with them anytime soon.
He course corrected, reached up to hold Miles’ cheek, and then wound up smacking his lips loudly against the other side of his face instead.
A small chorus of “chicken!” sounded from the other side of the room.
--
Somehow the tightness in his chest had turned into a pounding heart as Ariel curled her fingers around his. Everything felt slightly off in that moment, like someone had come into his apartment and moved all of his furniture one inch to the left. He didn't know if it was the fact that Ariel was drunk, that his stomach already felt unsettled by the beer he'd had, or that some imperceptible line had just been crossed. It wasn't exactly her touch or what she was saying, but the feel of the moment was different.
Of course, so was he. Hadn't he just been saying that?
Miles opened his mouth to interrupt her, to try better to explain himself and how that affected their partnership--and everything else--but then the interruption came from an unexpected source. It was hard to even focus on ET's face as the other Auror stepped far closer than was normal for them. Changing his train of thought from Ariel to what he needed to say to get the obviously-drunk man to kindly fuck off was harder than he liked, and by the time he was halfway there, ET had already planted a loud kiss on his cheek.
The cat calls came from the other side of the room, but Miles winced from the sudden intensity of sound over the dull sounds of conversation that had gradually become white noise. Somehow, that was enough to jar him out of his stupor, but when he spoke, it wasn't the reprimand he'd intended that first came to mind. "I love you, too?" he said, raising one eyebrow at the man. He'd never thought of himself as a coward, but he was relieved that whatever was going on with Ariel wasn't going to go down in this very public place. He needed time to think. To understand his own thoughts, even. "Do I even want to know?"
--
Well… that ruined the awkward moment with another awkward moment. It felt like Ariel was building to something that she couldn’t take back. She’d probably be relieved later at the distraction. And… what a distraction it was. “ET what the fuck?” she said as stared at ET when he’d pretty much come out of nowhere. From where she was sitting, it looked like ET was going right in for the kill… only to kiss Miles’ cheek. She’d looked over her shoulder to the other side of the room to see the cheering co-eds. “What does getting friendly with Miles have to do with your new friends over there?”
--
ET gave Miles a grin that might have been contrite were it not for the fact that he had a wicked gleam in his eyes as he pulled away from him. He turned back to the table where his drinking friends were watching and cheering him on and gave them a broad wink. As he faced them again, his attention shifted to Ariel, fixing her with a fond look.
He leaned toward her, gently curling his fingers around the back of her neck. “This is for tequila,” he told them with a quick glance toward Miles, before he lowered his voice, murmuring almost against her lips, “and I think you’re damned sexy.”
ET kissed Ariel softly, and made a small, happy sound.
--
Miles was inclined to let ET’s strange behavior go without further comment, and especially when he realized that there was evidently some kind of challenge going on between the Auror and the group of co-eds that was heckling him. He should have realized when ET moved toward Ariel what was going to happen, but apparently his sour stomach was affecting his brain, too, because it took him by surprise. He’d been expecting a similar cheek-kiss, so when it was full lip-to-lip, he could only sort of stare at the two in awkward silence.
--
Ariel would later blame it on being drunk for the lack of instinct on this but she was taken quite off guard when ET fixated her with what could only be described as bedroom eyes. And Ariel’s response was apparently deer in headlights.
“What?” she’d asked confused about the tequila comment and then her awkward silence about the sexy part especially with lips only inches away. Great, usually it was tomboy comments and how Ariel didn’t get laid. Now it was she was sexy and interrupting more important conversations with Miles. Ariel had been wondering if this would go the way of the kiss cheek too, but no that was full on kiss!
Ariel’s eyes were wide and she didn’t know where to put her hands. She was held in place with ET’s hands at the back of her neck, and dear fucking god she couldn’t look at Miles. Her hands finally found purpose on pushing against ET to get him away, but damnit his big muscular chest and she was small. She was going to punch him so hard for this.
--
For a moment, ET was honestly confused.
He was aware of Ariel’s resistance, and it was two-fold. He wasn’t necessarily a stranger to unreciprocated affection, had been on his share of both sides of the equation. It was an uncomfortable feeling to be kissed and not kissed back. Deeply so. He was also aware of a faint pressure on his chest, and realized that she was trying to push him away.
He pulled back quickly, and let his hand fall back to his side. Guilt and shame were just creeping on the edges of his buzz, but the cheers of his new friends helped shove the feelings aside. He grinned at Miles and Ariel, and shrugged a shoulder impishly. “I’m getting that tequila now. Anyone want shots?” That earned ET a punch in the shoulder from Ariel.