|liv "ol' scratchy" moore. (beyondbadass) wrote in the100,|
@ 2015-11-10 18:08:00
|Entry tags:||!network post, liv moore, remus lupin|
Remember when I was me again? Not me the zombie, but old me? And Major was like Groot, so even if he still had feelings for me - which, let's be honest, he probably doesn't - nothing could have even happened? Things have been weird. Or maybe I'm just weird. I don't know. I told him I loved him, and we haven't talked about it. I don't know what to say to him anymore. If he still felt anything, he would have said so by now, right? But why would he, I'm a damn zombie.
Anyway, apparently in our future, he gets mortally wounded and I save him by turning him into a zombie too, but then I give him the last of the cure that our friend Ravi made. And my best friend finds out and takes off.
And I keep wondering why I'm getting my hopes up. Things were getting better, or at least I thought they were, but now that he knows, there's no way he's going to look at me in the same way again, and even if he did, there's no point. A relationship with me is never going to be normal. And that, I think, is the hardest part about all of this. I can manage how to keep myself from going full-on zombie all the time. It's disgusting, but I can suffer through that, but giving up... all the dreams I had for my future, everything I wanted, everything Major and I wanted, it's gone. That's the hard part. I don't want to be alone forever.
... Sorry. That's probably way more than you wanted to deal with.
I justYou're just the only one who understands, so, welcome to the soap opera that is my life.