I lied, may the Great Ones help me, I lied like a rug. I am so sorry. I failed my Sergeant and I failed Mount Weather and I failed myself. Do not tell him. He will hate me. I am terrible.
But the little cakes on a stick were so cute! Little bows! I ate a pink one. I want another but I will not risk going now. May they have mercy upon me. It was delicious. Delicious!
Don't do as I did. Take Satan's cake pops seriously! I am lost. Save yourselves!