how would you feel ?
hi everyone .. im new .. call me alice :)
id love to hear peoples feedback on a situation i have recently found myself in ..
this coming friday was supposed to be my wedding day .. yes, i was engaged to be married to (wonderful?) man, whom had been living with myself and my daughter for the past four or five months .. he was wonderfully supportive and thoughtful .. taking care of me and responsibility for my daughter when i was unwell, either physically or mentally .. he would help with the house cleaning and cooking .. work in the garden and got on great with my daughter and our friends .. he told me he was financially independant and together we put an offer on a property (paddock) next door to my house ..
sounds like a fairy tale now doesnt it - it was .. ALL just a tale !!
so how did the compulsive liar get busted .. well ill tell you, i caught him out myself ..
from the time he moved in things that were supposed to appear never did .. from furniture that the movers had supposedly 'lost' .. there were stories of awol drivers, court seizures and then 'too much emotional baggage' connected with it so i was told it was being put into storage .. his dog that i was told a friend was looking after was never brought over when i was told it was due to arrive, they were either down south (taken the dog with them) or too busy at work to meet us at their house .. his ex partner was supposedly trying to stop him seeing his daughter, and as well as arrangments being changed approximately eight times in a month, i sat across from him at the table while he again 'supposedly' fought with the ex on the phone .. next there was engagement rings that were ordered but never appeared .. and worst of all he told my daughter that he had bought her a horse .. we have since found out the horse we had been visiting daily infact belonged to someone else !
while i wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, it seemed like just nothing was adding up, and we constantly fought because as i would say "ive seem no eveidence of your life before we met" .. he would get offended or sulk or cry and tell me i was 'pushing him to deal with things he just wasnt able to deal with' .. i would feel terrible and so drop it until the next time that i just couldnt hold my thoughts/tounge ..
well it all came undone for him when i checked my phone bill .. and there were NO numbers i didnt know !!
even confronted with this information, i was told that he "put them on the credit card" .. i wasnt convinced .. so i started ringing around places like the movers, the jewelers, and visited the people whom the horse was supposedly in care of .. NO-ONE knew who the hell he was ..
EVEN THEN when i confronted him with this information, he denied lieing to me/us .. he even took money off my daughters friend (a 14 yr old) to buy her a cell phone (which of course never appeared) .. i found out he had taken my card and taken money out of my account (i live on a benefit & need every cent i get!) .. i told him to pack his bag and "get out" .. i locked the doors, pulled the curtains and put everything he owned out the door ..
safe in our home my daughter and i talked, cried and tried to find comfort in the distraction of the tv .. i had her settled when he an hour later knocked on the door .. i looked out a bedroom window to check who it was (him of course) and i noticed the open bottle of pills in his hand .. he told me he "needed to lie down somewhere" .. i told him to "lie in his car" .. i asked him how many of the pills he had taken and he told me "all that were in the container" .. im thinking around 20 lorazapam - he had taken an overdose ..
i rang my support worker, the police and the mental health team .. i checked he was breathing (he had taken himself back to the car and locked all the doors, but i was able to get in through the hatch .. it was only after the dr arrived that i checked my own drug supply and realized he had also taken some meds of mine ..
he rang me the next day from the hospital .. asking me to 'come take him home' .. i again told him all the information i had, that he had lied to, me about everything and that this was NOT his home .. i had by this point also tracked down and spoken to his ex partner, informing her of the overdose to the response of "what the hells that got to do with me?" .. i told her i was just informing her because i had been told that we would be having two of the children saty with us .. she tells me "their not even his kids" .. ive since met her and been told loads more about this man .. his emotional abuse and the compulsiveness of his lies ..
the dog doesnt exist, the house doesnt exist, the furniture doesnt exist, the daughter isnt even his .. the phone call made to the children in front of me on christmas morning - he sat there for over half an hour and cried when he got off the phone (with me comforting him) - was BULLSHIT .. the children werent even at her house on christmas morning, but down south with their father ..
not only did i have the rug pulled out from under my world, i had to tell all my friends whom had similarly been lied to and ripped of by this man ..
DARRYL BRUCE SMITH from (new zealand) = con man, compulsive liar, asshole
so now im wondering what lessons are to be learned from this experience, as well as where i go on from here (we had planned on having a child and i was to stay at home) .. id love to hear feedback on this situation, and also if anyone has similar experiences to share (so i dont feel so naive and alone) ..
also looking for new friends .. so please feel free to check out my ij and drop me a line (im new so there is only a few posts, but i promise ill be writing regularly)