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Tweak says, "I'm about this fonging close"

Turgon the Wise | Sarafinwë Turukáno (turukano) wrote in spinningcompass,
@ 2013-05-03 00:31:00

Entry tags:

!closed

Who: Turgon and Anairë
What: Mother and son. Turgon needs his mother to comfort him.
Where: Anairë's rooms.
When: After Turgon's thread with Elenwë
Warnings | Status: TBD | in progress

Turgon rested against his mother's chest, hiding his face for a moment as he sank into the comfort of her arms. Five centuries had passed since he'd seen her, and five centuries worth of longing for the comfort of her embrace had led him to this moment. He hugged her, both his arms around her, and kept close to her feeling like a child. He was a child, despite his twenty-four hundred years. At least, he was her child. He loved her and she him and there was something special that existed between them.

Tears came to his eyes and ran down his face in steady streams but his sorrow did not extend beyond his silent crying for a long moment. His heart was heavy, burdened, and he was sinking under the upset he felt, unsure how to go about fixing his problems. He didn't know how to make Elenwë happy.. or even to make her stop hurting. He was lost, and afraid.

Turgon looked up at his mother at last, taking her hand into one of his own to hold it.

"I want to hide for eternity," he said softly, wiping the tears from his eyes. "I want to go away and hide. Or sleep. I want to sleep away another century. I don't know how to fix this problem, mother. I don't know how to be a husband to a wife who doesn't know me." His ears drooped and he bowed his head against his own emotion, his shoulders slumping.

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anaire
2013-05-03 07:16 pm UTC (link)

Although she wouldn't have admitted it for the world, Anairë had always felt a special bond with her second son. It was not exactly that she had favored him, it was only that he had needed her, like none of her others had. Findekáno was his father's son, and had been from birth. Irissë was outgoing and strong willed, as was Arakáno. But Turukáno had inherited her shy introspection, and with it a fair share of his father's scorn. So she had always protected him, perhaps spoiled him a little, but she did not regret it at all.

She wrapped her arms around him like she had when he was a child, stroking her fingers through his hair and over his ears, whispering gentle words to him as he wept. He was full grown, aye, and had a child - and grandchild! - of his own, but always would he be her baby.

His grief tore at her heart, and she listened to his words as he spoke, her heart clenching in sympathy.

"Little one," she said softly. "I think perhaps you are overthinking things. Perhaps she knows you better than you believe she does? Aye, you have not seen her in five hundred years, it is so. And many things have happened to you since you saw her last. But you are still the man she loves. You are still yourself, in your heart. Griefs and years change you, but they do not change you in your essence. Perhaps you are expecting her to love who you were...when she loves who you are?"

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turukano
2013-05-06 09:20 am UTC (link)

He looked at his mother in surprise; having never thought of that himself he wondered if perhaps it was true.

"I don't know," he admitted, "there is much I don't know and it hurts me. I want her to love me and I know she does inside. But she is afraid of hurting me as much as I am of hurting her. It is awkward, and stiff.. everything we do is contrived, it seems. Some days we are happy and others I do not know where the tears come from."

Turgon met Anairë's eyes, "I feel.. confused, lost, and afraid. I am me, mother, but I am changed and I think.. I think she would not like who I have become and so I.. I must keep her at a distance for fear she would.. hate it. And I know that is not true but I am so afraid. I cannot lose her. Not again. But I am driving her away even as I try to hold onto her."

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anaire
2013-05-06 02:36 pm UTC (link)

"Why do you think she would not like you, little one? You cannot have changed so much. Aye, time and griefs change us, but your heart is pure, and I do not believe that you could have been changed so quickly in such a short time. You are afraid, perhaps. That I believe. You have forgotten how to be a husband, perhaps. But changed so she does not love you? It is impossible. We do not love in such a shallow way that small changes can break the bond. It is fëa to fëa, little one. And the fëa endures."

She ran her fingers through his thick dark hair, so like his father's that it made her heart ache with longing.

"You must open your heart again, release your fears. And aye, that may take time. But if she loves you, as I truly believe she does - as everyone who has seen the two of you together must believe - she will be patient."

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turukano
2013-05-09 07:53 am UTC (link)

"Because I am dark," he said, "because I have done things she would disapparove of. Because I have killed without mercy those who would .. deserve my pity and my kindness." Though the monster who had raped and murdered his sister deserved none of those things. He wondered briefly with Nyara would have thought of him and Turgon's judgment that day.

He shivered a little and leaned back into his mother, wrapping his arms around her for comfort. Though he was nearly twenty-five hundred years old he did not mind being a child in the moment. He loved his mother and found comfort in her embrace, her presence. How he'd missed her!

"She is patient. But she loses hope some days and I do not know how to ease her. I am hurting her! I see it in her though she does her best to be otherwise. Has father left Mandos yet? How will you be rejoined with him, do you know? How will it feel after all he has been through?"

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