|snarryhols (snarryhols) wrote in snarry_holidays,|
@ 2007-12-05 13:46:00
|Entry tags:||fic, rated: r|
What He Wants, for suemonroe
Title: What He Wants
Word Count: 3,480
Pairing: Severus Snape/Harry Potter
Warnings: DH spoilers, very light breathplay, frotting
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Summary: Severus is convinced that Harry can help him, but Harry refuses. What will Severus do to get what he wants? And what exactly does he want, anyways?
What He Wants
“What do you want, Snape?”
“Don’t be facetious, Professor Potter. You know exactly what I want. And if you don’t hand it over right now, I will be forced to –”
“If you were planning on threatening me, Professor, I may have to remind you of your place. A reformed Death Eater who’s life I saved, who is only free because of my testimony, who’s position at this school only hangs by a thread because of –”
“It’ll never be enough, Snape! Never!”
“What more do you want from me? I did what I was told! And I will not be a puppet any longer, Potter. I won’t.”
“If you think for one minute that I’m going to give you what you want, you’re sorely mistaken. I don’t owe you anything! Anything! Not after what I’ve done for you.”
“Does Minerva know, Potter?”
“Of course not. And I don’t plan on telling her.”
“And you think that’s good enough?”
“I don’t bloody care!”
“You think I don’t know what you’re planning? The minute you have the run of this school you’ll use it against me. You won’t be able to help yourself!”
“Well, don’t you have anything to say to that, Potter? No clever –”
“I’ll do what I damn well please, Snape. It’s what you owe me. And it’s what you owe this school. These things were put into motion long before I came here – long before I could do anything to stop them.”
“You’re telling me that you can’t stop this? You’re telling me that you’re not powerful enough to just hand that over and be done with it? Don’t make me laugh!”
“Well fuck you, Potter! FUCK YOU!”
“Your anger is misplaced, Professor. I’m not the one you should be shouting at – but you can’t be mad at him anymore can you? Not after what you did to him…”
“He asked me to, damnit! And you bloody well knew that I couldn’t say no!”
“I’m done with this conversation. My office hours are about to begin and –”
“This isn’t over, Potter. This is long from over.”
“I know. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, Snape.”
“Harry, what’s the matter? You’ve seemed down all day. Your classes giving you trouble?”
Harry put down his fork—he hadn’t really been eating anyways—and turned to his best friend with a sigh. “No, I – I don’t really want to talk about it, Hermione. But how’s your new batch of Advanced Charms students? I know how you –”
“They’re fine – don’t try to change the subject, Harry!”
“So… did you and Snape have another go at it?”
Harry’s eyes flickered to the other end of the staff table and Hermione turned her neck a bit to follow his gaze.
“He looks a right scare today, Harry. I don’t know what it is you’re holding over him, but he’s not happy about it.”
“I’m not holding anything over him, Hermione. It’s just… there’s something he thinks I can fix for him, but I can’t.”
Hermione turned back to look at Harry, eyebrow raised.
“I can’t, Hermione. Really. And even if I could, I don’t know if I’d try.”
“Then why don’t you tell me about it? I might be able to help convince him that there’s nothing you can do. He may not like me, but I’d like to think that he respects my intelligence enough to –”
“No,” Harry answered briskly, picking up his fork and swirling his mashed potatoes around his plate. “The less people that know about this, the better.” He leaned his head a bit towards Neville, who was looking a tad too interested in his brisket.
Hermione looked towards Neville, nodded, and went back to her own dinner, but Harry could tell that she was a bit hurt. He’d been putting her off for weeks.
Nothing for it, though. Snape would just be more angry with him if Hermione was brought into the loop. And he really didn’t need the best Potions Master Hogwarts had ever seen angry with him.
Well – more angry with him than he already was.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing down here?”
Snape’s low, sinister voice slithered down Harry’s spine. He suppressed a shiver and turned towards the darkened corridor he’d just passed. “Just doing my rounds, Professor. You know perfectly well that I’m scheduled for this evening.”
Snape came out of the shadows, his pale face gaunt in the half-light of the main dungeon corridor. “Yes, but you know perfectly well that I can handle the dungeons alone, Professor. It’s the way things have been for years now—before you came along—and I am not a proponent of change.”
Harry knew it was a bad idea. Provoking Snape was like poking an angry snake. But he just couldn’t help himself. “Really? Because the way you’ve been after me to change</i> things, I’d say that you like it just –”
He never even saw it coming. He hit the wall before he could draw his wand, and Snape held him there with his forearm across his throat. “Do not push me, Professor Potter. Because if you do, I may be tempted to – ”
“Don’t. Threaten. Me. Snape.” Harry choked out. Snape pushed against his throat harder, a silent determination on his face, until the black of the surrounding night started to encroach on Harry’s vision.
“I could do it now, Potter. I could end your life and then flee. On the run, I would be more free than I am now.”
Harry tried to raise his hands to push Snape away, but they only hung limply at his sides.
“Knowing you and your damned honor, no one else knows the secret power that the Headmaster’s office holds above me. I would be free from this…” Snape pulled back slightly, just enough so that Harry could breathe for a moment, and then pushed back against his throat again.
“That’s all I want, Harry. To be free from…” Snape’s black eyes flashed and his face moved closer. “Your eyes are stunning, you know that?” His arm was moving against Harry’s throat rhythmically now, so that Harry could only gasp for air when the pressure let up enough. “So wide and green, like your mother’s. But…”
“Stop…” Harry rasped, but it was no use. Snape’s face grew closer.
“Your lips, they…”
Snape’s licked his lips and then… his arm dropped, but his body was against him now. Holding him up against the wall as he kissed him. The air rushed back into Harry’s lungs and the oxygen high went to his brain and he kissed Snape back with all he was worth because he was alive damnit. Alive! And… fuck!
“Get the hell off me, Snape!” he shouted, pushing against him with all his might and throwing him against the wall opposite.
Snape just looked after him as he ran away, too stunned to stop him.
Breakfast the next morning was strained.
“Professor Snape looks even more like Death than usual this morning. My goodness, Harry, did you see his face when you came in –”
“No. I didn’t,” Harry was very stoically not looking at Snape, and he didn’t need Hermione to do it for him.
“Did you two have a run-in last night or something? You know I’ve told you to stay away from the dungeons when you’re on rounds, Harry.”
Harry scooped some eggs onto his plate.
“That man is ridiculous about ‘his territory.’ I don’t know when he sleeps! And Harry, you can’t go trying to – Harry, your neck! There are bruises all – what –”
Harry stood up abruptly and his chair rattled behind him. “I don’t think that I’m very hungry after all,” he announced, before leaving the Great Hall. Hermione watched him go, eyes wide.
Harry had been teaching the Defense Against the Dark Arts classes for the last 8 years now. And it had been more than 15 years since he had defeated Voldemort. The children in school now had never known the fear of Voldemort’s time, and, though they looked up to Harry, Hermione, and Neville, they didn’t idolize them quite as much as the general Wizarding population.
It was refreshing, in a way. Not having to escape a classroom full of students clamoring for his autograph.
Harry continued gathering up the Dark Artifacts he’d been presenting in class, careful not to touch any of them with his bare skin. “Not right now, Ron, I’ve got to – Ron!”
Ron laughed and reached across Harry’s desk for a handshake. “How are things, Harry? Of course, Hermione mentions you in her letters, but it’s not the same.”
Harry dropped the hag’s eye he’d been holding into his bag and took Ron’s hand warmly. “Yeah, I know. She can talk my ear off about you, but it’s still been an entire year!” Grinning, he dropped Ron’s hand and shoved the last of his things in his bag before moving out from behind his desk. “How about we talk over lunch in my rooms?”
Ron grinned back. “Is Hermione invited?”
“Of course, Ron! She has a standing invitation to my rooms. You know, she’s been quite lonely this last year, what with you in Budapest…”
Ron chuckled and followed Harry out into the hallway.
Lunch was great. Harry was so happy to see Ron that he almost forgot about the incident with Snape the night before. He heard about the work Ron was doing for the International Auror Alliance, and he told Ron about the Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts classes he was giving to prospective Auror candidates. A program that he had developed over the last three years, it had had outstanding results, and Ron was always eager to hear about the new students in the program.
But then Hermione and Ron had started making eyes at each other, and he’d told them that he had work to do so that they’d have an excuse to leave and spend some time alone.
They didn’t like leaving him out, he knew, but it had been a year since they’d seen each other and, though they’d never gotten married, the two went at it like rabbits whenever Ron came back from whatever trip he’d been on. Minerva had given him an honorary position at the school so that he had his own rooms, and he always stopped by Hogwarts for the first half of his vacations before heading to the Burrow to see his family.
The Weasley family had become especially close after the last battle, whether it was because of Fred’s death or Percy’s reconciliation, Harry didn’t know. But things had been strained at the Burrow for him for the first few years after that battle, and had only cleared up since Ginny had gotten married.
Maybe he’d go with Ron to the Burrow for the weekend. See the whole family and spend some time with Ginny’s youngest daughter. As her Godfather, he should really make the effort.
Harry looked out his bedroom window, rubbing his neck absently. It was still sore from where Snape had choked him, and the bruises were dark before he’d applied a Glamour to them. Maybe he should have another talk with Snape. If he could keep his cool, he could explain himself a little better. And maybe this whole thing would be cleared up. He didn’t plan on exploiting the information that he had, and Snape should know better than to think he would.
Severus answered his knock with a terse “Come in,” so Harry pushed his office door open and strode in with confidence.
“Hello, Professor Snape. I would like to speak with you.”
Severus looked up from the papers he’d been grading at his desk. “Of course, Professor Potter. Please take a seat,” he said, pointing to the chair across from the desk. “Care for a repeat of last night?”
“No, Severus. I don’t think that would do us any good,” Harry answered, taking his seat across from him. He was already feeling agitated, which did not bode well for this meeting. “I wanted to speak to you rationally about our situation.”
Severus put down his grading quill with a sigh. “Very well, Potter. Get on with it.”
Harry looked into his cold, dark eyes with determination. “I feel that you’re being unfair, Professor. You know very well that I won’t use this information against you, and you’re being unreasonable if you think that I can undo something done by Albus Dumbledore more than 30 years ago. This sort of magic gets stronger over time, and when its foundation, its lodestone, is in a place so full of magic as this, there is very little possibility –”
“I’m going to stop you there, Professor Potter. This outpouring of feeling and conjecture is all well and good, but I ask that you continue it outside my range of hearing. Because such tripe angers me beyond reason.”
Harry was getting extremely agitated now. “Beyond reason? When have you ever been reasonable? I’ve told no one your secret, and I’ve told you more than once that there is nothing I can do to change your situation. Your anger is misplaced and uncalled for!”
Severus stood up and slammed his fist against his desk. “Uncalled for? I am a slave because of this enchantment, and you have not even tried to dismantle it!”
Harry stood as well, in challenge. “And what do you expect me to do, Snape? Go up to Minerva’s office and ask her if I can please turn everything upside-down and search for this lodestone? And what do I tell her when she asks why I have to take down an enchantment that Albus put in place?”
Severus stormed around his desk and grabbed Harry by the collar. “So you’re saying that you won’t even try? This is my life, Potter! It’s gotten so that I can’t even go further than Hogsmeade without the enchantment reacting. It will kill me, and you’ll damn well do something about it!”
Harry stared into Severus’ eyes. “Why should I, Severus?”
“Because I said so,” he growled, before pulling Harry against him. Harry fought back for a moment, but it was no use. Severus was stronger, and something inside of him seized up when Severus’ lips crashed against his, angry and fierce.
He wanted this. It had been so long since he’d…
They pushed against each other. Their bodies were tense and their hands grasping. Harry bit Severus’ lip and the older man groaned into his mouth.
It was so intense.
Severus pushed him back against his desk and the edge bit against Harry’s lower back. He ignored it in favor of the lean body covering his, the hard length against his own aching cock.
“Severus, I –”
“No talking,” Severus interrupted gruffly, before attacking his mouth again. Harry welcomed his tongue into his mouth and sucked on it wantonly as he pushed his body up against his.
In no time they were frotting frantically against each other, mouths wet with saliva. They were like animals. Harry threw his head back against the desk and moaned aloud and Severus watched, eyes wide, as he lost himself in the sensations.
Why had he never seen it before? Felt this before? Wanted anything so keenly before? Harry was so beautiful…
And then he was coming. And Harry was coming. And they shuddered together as Harry keened in Severus’ ear and Severus never wanted this to stop…
But then it was over. And they were panting harshly. And Severus’ arms shook as he braced himself above Harry—above the desk—his hands next to Harry’s ears and dark hair hanging in his face.
Those stunning green eyes stared up at him, making him feel so exposed… “Harry, I…”
Harry’s eyes closed. “Get off me, Severus,” he said hollowly, voice devoid of any emotion.
“But Harry, I –”
Harry’s head turned to the side, as if he were ashamed. “Please, Severus. Just… just get off.”
It felt as if all of the air had been sucked out of his lungs. Severus didn’t say a word, just pushed back and off and away…
In seconds, Harry was gone. It was if nothing had ever happened. He put his hand against his crouch and cupped his sensitive prick through his trousers.
It was Tuesday morning, and Severus was in the Great Hall for breakfast for the first time in days. It was embarrassing. He had to stop moping around and he had to start acting like a Slytherin.
How to act like a Slytherin? He stared at the limp piece of toast in his hand and resisted the urge to hum, a bad habit that manifested whenever he was trying to puzzle out a problem.
First things first – he had to figure out what he wanted.
He looked down the staff table and spotted Harry, who was feeding bacon to Granger’s owl and ignoring her attempts at conversation.
He knew what he wanted. As ridiculous as it sounded, he wanted Harry more than he’d wanted anyone or anything in his long, joyless life. Even more than his freedom. If Harry would welcome him into his bed and into his life, then he wouldn’t need to be free of Hogwarts. Hogwarts would finally be a home instead of a prison.
His eyes fixed on Harry’s long, pale fingers as they picked up another piece of bacon.
Now… how could he get what he wanted? Severus had noticed a change in the enchantment since their last encounter. Maybe he could use this aberration to his advantage somehow…
Later that day, Severus found himself on the fourth floor of Hogwarts. It was much higher than he was accustomed to being, and the view from the staircase was dizzying. He paused for a moment outside Harry’s office door to collect himself, and then stared at the hard oak with grim determination. Sometimes it pays to be direct, he assured himself, before knocking on Harry’s office door. The door, however, was a lot easier to face than Harry, as he found out very shortly.
“That’s Professor Potter to you, Professor Snape.”
“Harry, don’t be ridiculous. After what happened last week, I would think that –”
“Last week was a mistake, Severus, and you know it.” Harry wouldn’t even look at him, choosing instead to arrange a few loose papers on his desk.
“I – I see.” Severus was trying his hardest to be sympathetic. He knew that the minute he got angry, Harry would feel justified in throwing him out of the office. “Fortunately, I didn’t come here for that.”
That got his attention. Finally, those intoxicating green eyes were looking towards him.
“If this is about the enchantment again –”
“No, no, Harry. Please listen. There’s been a change in the enchantment.”
“I don’t ca–”
“It’s gotten better!”
Harry turned his back to him and the office fell silent. Severus watched him fiddle with something on his bookshelf, and then he cleared his throat.
“After we were… together, I felt an uncharacteristic looseness in the enchantment. As you know, this past weekend was a Hogsmeade weekend, and I was able to go as far as the Three Broomsticks before I felt the enchantment tighten again. I don’t know why, but it seems that by –”
Harry interrupted him before he could finish.
“I went to the Weasley’s house last weekend, you know. After we – after we had that last argument. And I saw Ginny with her husband and kids and I…”
He turned around. “I want to be happy, Severus.” His green eyes blazed and Severus resisted the urge to take a step back. “Will the loosening of the enchantment make you happy? Will you be less of a bastard? Will you treat my friends and I with respect?” His voice grew louder and he grew nearer with each question, until he was but a foot away. “Can you make me happy?”
“Just give me a chance,” Severus whispered, before putting his arms around Harry and drawing him close. It was a bargain, he knew, but Gryffindor’s always fell for gestures such as this. And Harry felt so good against him…
“And if the enchantment falls, will you leave?” Harry asked, stiff in his embrace.
Severus decided to be completely honest. “I – I don’t know. Maybe.”
Harry shifted in his arms and Severus felt his hard cock against his hip. He groaned and tried not to press back as Harry moved even closer. His lips brushed against his neck, his cheek, and then settled over his ear without so much as a lick.
“Then let’s have some fun while we can,” he whispered.