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Tweak says, "this is absolutly ....well IDK"

snarrymod (snarrymod) wrote in snarry_games,
@ 2008-05-30 08:20:00

Entry tags:

entry, mistressmaraj, team phoenix

TEAM PHOENIX ENTRY: MistressMaraj "Into the Abyss"
Title: Into the Abyss
Author: mistressmaraj
Team: Phoenix
Genre(s): Angst
Prompt(s): Kiss, Forgiveness
Rating/Warnings/Kinks: NC-17; *Harry is 17, major character death, non-con, non-graphic torture, dark themes, swearing, homophobic terminology*
Word Count: ~14,000
Summary: Brutally attacked by a Dementor the day after the final battle, Harry struggles to find his way back to himself and defeat Voldemort...again. Will Snape, who has his own agenda, be able to save Harry from himself?
A/N: Please heed the warnings. Canon-compliant through the end of Deathly Hallows. Many thanks to my betas: leela_cat, who put up with a lot of missed deadlines and cut a lot of text which will thankfully never see the light of day, as well as ziasudra who jumped in to help with very little notice. This story was vastly improved with their efforts. Any remaining mistakes are my own. The lovely, hardworking mods will always have my greatest respect for running the best fest of the year and thank you for not killing me after missing a deadline or two. Thanks also to perverse_idyll for some fantastic ideas and discussion on angst.
Disclaimer: Not mine. You know the drill.

"Into the Abyss by Mistress Maraj"

Don't forget to review!

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Mod note: If you rec this story, please link to this POST, not the story itself, or the author/team will not get their proper vote tally or feedback. Thank you.

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	snarry_fan7 2008-05-30 03:43 pm UTC (link)
	A most interesting concept. It's particularly unique how the two "worlds" are connect through Harry's soul. I enjoyed Harry's interaction with Snape and how they realize the two of them are different versions of the people they knew/know. Great work.~Sophia (Reply to this) (Thread)

mistressmaraj
2008-05-31 04:31 am UTC (link)

Thank you for commenting! I tried to play with the typical format seen in parallel universe fics and give Harry some extra challenges. Plus, I think Dementors are interesting and underutilized as well as being a potentially powerful symbol for depression.

I imagine Harry and Snape are fairly similar to their doppelgangers -- close enough that Harry kept getting confused. But Snape was horrified by what Dumbledore asked of canon!Snape and I think he wanted to distance himself from that, even if this story's Snape was still capable of making the hard choices he did in the fic.

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torino10154
2008-05-30 04:59 pm UTC (link)

What an interesting way to divide two realities-especially with Harry able to travel between. I like the way what Snape is doing in the alter reality is still somewhat ambiguous-by which I mean you didn't over explain the parallel reality. Harry's feelings of attraction as well as anger and revulsion with what Snape had done to him felt very real to me. And I adore you bringing Al in at the end. Well done.

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mistressmaraj
2008-05-31 05:14 am UTC (link)

Thank you! I decided on strict 3rd person limited POV, and while that always has its disadvantages, I think it was the best choice for this story. I *like* the ambiguity of Snape's fate, although I imagine not all readers will. Snape is such a morally ambiguous character that I can't help playing with him and just how far he'd be willing to go to win the war. I struggled with how to portray Harry's emotions in the aftermath of what Snape did, so I'm very glad it worked for you.

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mac_tunes
2008-05-30 06:17 pm UTC (link)

*splat* that's how I felt towards the end of the fic. *squashed*

However, I like the way you weaved those two worlds, if it existed. How Harry were able to travel between dimensions, and how different people in different dimensions are. Parallel dimensions had always been an object of fascination for me. Really interesting. Your play of words are fantastic. I was there all the way, followed Harry in all the trials. And I felt like a puppet, strings were manipulated by you. :p

Thank you!

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	mac_tunes 2008-05-30 06:23 pm UTC (link)
	Er... forgot to say why I said "splat". I meant that Harry weren't able to get back again, unable to know Snape's fate... :p (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mistressmaraj 2008-05-31 06:06 pm UTC (link)
	Sorry about putting you through the wringer! I like writing in limited 3rd person POV, although it does give the plot some ambiguity at the end and add to the tragedy. Partly, it was my desire to give Snape a sacrifice that could in no way be construed as glory seeking and partly to force Harry to accept such a sacrifice on his behalf. (Reply to this) (Parent)

mistressmaraj
2008-05-31 05:55 pm UTC (link)

*desquishes*

I love parallel universe stories, too, if done well. I think my all-time favorite is Rushlight's "The Pendulum of Choice." Though at a certain level, the concept is mind-boggling. Harry can save his world in canon and there could be a million other worlds out there where he can do nothing to help them.

I'm really glad you found this riveting. Thanks so much for reviewing!

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telwyrd
2008-05-31 04:27 am UTC (link)

A stark yet heroic tale of dark deeds done to save the wizarding world. Harry was Gryffindor to the core and beyond brave. Snape was sublimely Slytherin and his fearlessness in the end made me want to weep. Actually, the whole story made me want to cry buckets.

Harry's soul traveling between two different realities due to the Dementor's Kiss was a novel concept.

There were so many unforgettable scenes and memorable lines.

This really left me feeling gutted:

And Harry hated that Snape's voice caught, that his hand wasn't steady. Hated his weakness. Snape was not allowed to be weak, not even if he were still healing from the curses, his pupils dilated from pain or potions. Because Snape was the solid foundation everyone piled their bullshit onto -- from Narcissa's Unbreakable Vow to the last, monumental request Dumbledore made of him. Snape wasn't allowed to break under pressure, he was meant to bend -- changing his morality like a chameleon to stay one step ahead of the enemy.

This wasn't that same Snape, he recalled. The man before him had never committed either of those life-altering acts, but he was the same sort of man: ruthless but loyal, nasty and quick-tempered but a master of silky discretion under Legilimency, brave for all the choices he not only had to make but for following through on them and suffering their consequences.

Choices which had led up to this moment.

::breathless:: I love how you so eloquently summarize the terrible burdens and unfathomable suffering of the two Snapes. The deeds they committed, the many different directives they carried out – all of that done in pursuit of the larger goal of defeating Voldemort, all of it taking another piece of the souls of the two Snapes.

Our Snape’s fate was so bleak and unfair. I can only forlornly hope that this Snape’s fate will be better. Please?

A few moments later, Snape withdrew from his mind, white and shaking. "You utter imbecile! Are you trying to get yourself killed? Do you even understand what will happen if you can't return to your body? Your soul could be lost forever!"

"Don't you think I know that?" Harry whispered. "I can't let Voldemort have this world."

"It isn't your responsibility. When will you understand that? I don't even need your help, now that I know where the Horcruxes are located."

"Of course you do," Harry said. Snape stomped off. "You do," Harry repeated to the empty room.

Gah! Another superb exchange between Harry and Snape. Harry was so damn determined to help and Snape was right to say that it wasn’t his fight. And Snape trying to bear the onus by himself...heartwrenching. :(

"The Dark Lord will fall. Nagini should be weakened by the poisoned bloodstream of the last Muggle she ate. He will call upon me to heal her, and soon he shall know the betrayal of a potions master as well." Snape's smile was gruesome.

"I don't expect you to understand," Snape said.

Snape had lost his bloody mind and Harry was going to bring him to his senses –

The last thing Harry remembered was Snape raising his wand in a complicated gesture.

"I don't expect you to understand," Snape said. His mouth formed the words 'forgive me,' his eyes dark and fathomless.

::desolate:: There you go again, making me cry. So sad!

By day, Harry tried his best not to obsess about the man who had only once called him Harry. A man whose bravery would go unrecognized, whose sacrifice left his very fate a mystery.

::speechless:: No words. I…just not words.

A cry from beside him drew Harry from his musing. Lifting up his beautiful, days old son, Harry said, "I wanted you to meet someone. Severus Snape, this is Albus Severus Potter."

The ending was touchingly apt. A good coda. Life continues on for Harry but he will always remember Severus Snape…both of them.

Thanks for this beautifully written story of sacrifice and courage.

Riveting! Outstanding! Kudos!

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	mistressmaraj 2008-06-07 07:21 pm UTC (link)
	hands tissue Wow...Thank you for such a lovely review! I enjoy writing about morally ambiguous Snape. However, in the aftermath of Deathly Hallows, I wanted to play around with canon a bit but keep essential truths about the characters. I'm glad it worked for you. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	seres_mimosa 2008-05-31 05:31 am UTC (link)
	I love selfish ruthless Snape juxtaposed against the brave, self-sacrificing Snape, and though what he did was despicable, I can't help feeling so sorry for him. A very intriguing story, dark and destructive and painful and poignant. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	mistressmaraj 2008-06-07 07:26 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you! I think Snape's character has intriguing depth in canon as well as being almost contradictory at times; I enjoyed portraying both his ruthlessness and his compassion. (Reply to this) (Parent)

plantinshadows
2008-05-31 09:50 am UTC (link)

I feel that the two snape's in the two realities are actually rather similar. they share most memories and experiences, it seems as if only after harry's fifth year in hogwarts one reality splits from the other. severus sacrifices himself in a reality where the dark lord has already won and where dumbledore and harry are dead. that must have taken at least as much courage and selflessness as the snape in the canon realits has shown!
I loved the appearances of teddy and albus severus in the story. it is written very atmospherically, especially the abyss.

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	mistressmaraj 2008-06-07 08:40 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you so much for reviewing! I agree that the two Snapes are pretty similar. In both worlds, Snape has to make similar sacrifices as well...including a parallel act to the euthanasia he provided for Albus in canon. I'm glad you enjoyed the inclusion of Teddy and Albus Severus -- they are some of my favorite next generation characters. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	zephre 2008-06-01 05:13 am UTC (link)
	wow. fantastic story, great concept, and just... utterly visceral prose. beautifully tragic. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	mistressmaraj 2008-06-07 08:41 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you so much! I'm still experimenting with prose a bit so I'm glad it worked for you. (Reply to this) (Parent)

(Anonymous)
2008-06-01 07:30 am UTC (link)

I loved seeing Damaged (Canon) Harry meet up with Desperate (AU) Snape. Harry’s need to be a hero and the guilt he feels after the war for everyone who did die was so nicely portrayed. The best part was the psychological aspect of the story: Harry saving others because he can’t save himself. Also, the way you handled Harry projecting his guilt towards Canon Snape onto AU Snape was really interesting. Oh yeah, and the angsty ambivalent sex is always a winner in my book.
-eac

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	mistressmaraj 2008-06-07 08:44 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you! I enjoyed writing a heroic Harry suffering from a guilt complex. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	igtow 2008-06-01 09:31 am UTC (link)
	Ouch. Well done, but still, 'ouch'. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	mistressmaraj 2008-06-07 08:45 pm UTC (link)
	Sorry about the ouch! Well...mostly sorry. g Thank you so much for reviewing. (Reply to this) (Parent)

tsujton
2008-06-01 12:08 pm UTC (link)

Just hauntingly beautiful.

I found this inordinately bone-chilling:
---
The Dementor was still behind him, its odor sickeningly sweet, a putrid concentration of happy memories stolen from their owners.
---

ANd here are some other favorites:
---
And Harry hated that Snape's voice caught, that his hand wasn't steady. Hated his weakness. Snape was not allowed to be weak, not even if he were still healing from the curses, his pupils dilated from pain or potions. Because Snape was the solid foundation everyone piled their bullshit onto -- from Narcissa's Unbreakable Vow to the last, monumental request Dumbledore made of him. Snape wasn't allowed to break under pressure, he was meant to bend -- changing his morality like a chameleon to stay one step ahead of the enemy.
---
Skin-on-skin contact acted as substitute, soothing the guilt until it retreated a few steps back from its crushing grip on his heart.

It was almost enough.
---

ANd that's how this story feels. "Almost enough." Because it was so fullfilling, yet left me wanting more...

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	mistressmaraj 2008-06-07 08:50 pm UTC (link)
	I'm glad my story left you wanting more. I really enjoy ambiguous endings because I think they accurately reflect life and it was fun to play with Harry's perspective (including leaving out those details that he would never be able to know). Thank you so much for commenting and letting me know which lines really worked for you. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	gingertart50 2008-06-01 01:23 pm UTC (link)
	This is both painful and beautful, heart-wrenching and satisfying. A great fic! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	mistressmaraj 2008-06-07 08:51 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it because it was more than a little painful to write! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	bethbethbeth 2008-06-01 02:07 pm UTC (link)
	Fascinating - both in concept and in execution. I think my favorite part, though, was this other-world Snape, one who's been even more obviously 'hung out to dry' than canon Snape - and yet, one who continues to do what's right. Well done. (Reply to this) (Thread)

mistressmaraj
2008-06-13 06:16 am UTC (link)

Thank you! I think Snape always manages to draw the short stick no matter what universe he is in.

One problem I had with the 6th book was the way Dumbledore took his sweet time telling Harry about the horcruxes. He could have been a lot more forthcoming...what if something had happened to him before he finished his tale? It most likely would have been the end for the good guys (which was the point I tried to make in this story). And he most certainly could have explained how to destroy a horcrux! I felt like those scenes were dragged out for the purposes of storytelling and not because they made sense for Dumbledore's character.

I'm glad you enjoyed.

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	simons_flower 2008-06-01 10:06 pm UTC (link)
	How very interesting, the way you've used the Dementors. Yes, I can imagine Harry losing himself to depression for a while -- totally understandable given what he went through -- but for it to manifest itself into a longing for masochism and a "saving the world thing"? Totally can see that too. Great job! (Reply to this)

ziasudra
2008-06-02 11:17 pm UTC (link)

So good to finally be able to read the finished product! You did a good job with the ending, using Harry's dreams/subconscious to show what Snape ended up doing to the Harry in his world. Harry's sense of honor is very palpable throughout the story, from his determination to provide all information necessary to see Voldemort in the alternate universe defeated, to his decision to return to Snape even after the traumatic experience, if only to make sure Snape prevails.

Great ideas, from Dementors' Kiss to the possibility of alternate realities. And you should be proud of yourself for weaving these ideas into a haunting (in a good way) fic! Well done :)

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	maelwaedd 2008-06-03 03:48 am UTC (link)
	I really enjoyed this. The concept of the two worlds through the shattered soul really worked for me. I also fancy the end. This brought to the table a far better reason why canon!Harry would name Albus Severus the way he did--I've never really appreciated the naming as much as I have through this fic. Great fic. :) (Reply to this)

	klynie1 2008-06-03 12:26 pm UTC (link)
	Excellent story! Though it tore me apart, I have to admit. But in a very good way. g (Reply to this)

	carpet_diemon 2008-06-04 01:44 pm UTC (link)
	That's neat take on parallel worlds. It feels very odd (yet apropo) that Harry's action is snuffed out early--I feel his frustration. (Reply to this)

	ariadneelda 2008-06-07 03:00 pm UTC (link)
	What an intriguing plot! This was wonderfully dark and angsty. And the ending heartbreaking and moving. Great fic! I loved it. :-) (Reply to this)

xikum
2008-06-13 03:40 am UTC (link)

I just now finished the lastof this, which I had started to read some days before - too busy RL.
This was Intense. It was truly bittersweet, with the stress on bitter, like 72% dark chocolate. It was amazing, yet a little too sad for me, yet the ending was fitting. I cannot help but wonder if the 2nd Snape lost, due to the prophesy, but maybe not, in as much as Dumbledore said it was not that prophesies were true, as that people believed in them. And Snape, in any world, is enough of a pragmatist to see that.
Wow. Just starting to breathe again, now.

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mistressmaraj
2008-06-13 06:08 am UTC (link)

Wow, thank you! *snaps off chunk of rich milk chocolate and offers* I'm glad the ending worked for you as it went through numerous changes whilst in outline form.

The way I view the prophecy (completely ignoring the issue of whether a prophecy must come true) is that either must die by the hand of the other...and once the 2nd Harry is dead, Voldemort is free game as if there had never been a prophecy. So I think Snape's chances look pretty good.

Not to mention the fact that Harry doesn't even die directly at Voldemort's hand so the prophecy may have even less credence in this world.

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hpstrangelove
2008-06-17 10:23 am UTC (link)

I'm so sorry for being so late in commenting, but since I couldn't vote, I've been taking my time this year and really enjoying the stories.

I thought this was a great story, even though I was sad that Snape and Harry didn't get together. Not every story has a happy 'Snarry' ending. But the sex was hot and I enjoyed the premise - that's one of the things I love about the games: the imaginations of the writers.

Great job!

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	angelbabecj 2008-08-05 06:26 pm UTC (link)
	I really enjoyed this fic, how Harry's dilemma pushed him to his limits, yet took away his choice. And only Snape could respond to the accusation in Harry's voice I could hear about being homosexual with sarcastic linguistic/grammar lessons. :D Lovely work. (Reply to this)