Snapedom

I'll return to the subject of Lily later, but for now, I want to ask: was there anyone else who loved him? Possibly his parents, but we don't see enough of them to be able to answer that question with absolute certainty. The glimpses that we do see are not very positive. Assuming that the couple in the Pensieve scene in Book 5 (where a hook-nosed man is shouting at a cringing woman) are his parents, it raises the possibility that Snape's father was abusive. At the very least, it confirms that his parents argue a lot, as Lily mentions in The Prince's Tale in Book 7. And personally, I get the impression from that chapter that he was neglected as a child: he's wearing ill-fitting clothing, either too small or too large, and I was also wondering if he is underfed since he is described as "skinny," although he could just be naturally thin.

It could be that the Princes are just so poor that that's the best they can afford to give him. Although I would think that even if all he had to wear were hand-me-downs, his mother could at least hem, cut, and/or re-sew the oversized clothes to make them fit a little better. Maybe Eileen can't sew and her husband doesn't like her using magic. Or maybe she just doesn't care; it's hard to say.

It's possible for Eileen and Tobias have a troubled marriage but still love their son, of course. However, we see no scenes of Snape's parents showing any affection towards him or vice versa, and in The Prince's Tale, he seems very eager to get away from his home. I can't say for sure that Snape's parents didn't love him, but I don't see any concrete evidence in the text that they did, either.

I had thought that perhaps Dumbledore loved Snape in a fatherly way, but that theory was ruined for me in Book 7. He seems to treat Snape (and Harry as well) as a tool to be used to defeat Voldemort, and I don't see much affection in his actions. I was probably assuming that he had a closer relationship with young Snape than actually existed in canon, but I had imagined that he was disappointed and troubled when Snape joined the Death Eaters, and so welcomed him back with warmth and relief.

And for the record, I would like to state that I don't mean that Dumbledore should just excuse any crimes that Snape committed as a Death Eater. I felt that he would treat them seriously, but still be glad that Snape was now trying to do the right thing, and rather than spend a lot of time on censure and recriminations, he would focus more on what Snape could do to atone for his wrongs. In case anyone is curious, here is an excerpt from my Snupin fic Always, which details how I thought the "repentant Snape going to Dumbledore" scene might have gone:

Going to Dumbledore to confess his crimes was the hardest thing Snape had ever done. Having so little else in his life, Snape clung to his pride fiercely, like a lover or a child. And he never, ever admitted he was wrong about anything. But more than that, he was ashamed. When Dumbledore took Black's side in the Shrieking Shack incident, he told himself he no longer cared what the old wizard thought of him. But as he stood there in the Headmaster's office, he realized that he cared very much indeed. However, while he might be a Death Eater, he was not a coward. So he stood there and forced the words out of his mouth, confessing his guilt and stupidity. When he finished, there was no anger or censure in Dumbledore's eyes, only sorrow and compassion. And somehow that compassion was even harder to bear than the anger and contempt he had expected. In fact, it almost undid him completely; tears stung his eyes, but he clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, and the tears remained unshed. Severus Snape did not cry; he had not wept when his lover betrayed him, and he certainly would not snivel and beg for mercy he did not deserve now. Dumbledore placed a hand on his shoulder, but Snape shrugged it off.
   
"Well, aren't you going to turn me in to the Ministry?"
   
The Headmaster sighed wearily. "So they can send you to Azkaban? What purpose would that serve?"
   
"When I was ten years old, you never scolded me for the curse I put on the neighbor's boy. But this is not something that can be solved with a heart-to-heart chat and a handful of candy."
   
Dumbledore sighed again. "No, and you are not a child anymore. So what do you intend to do to set things right?"
   
Snape just stared at him.
   
"Sending you to prison would accomplish nothing. Voldemort and the Death Eaters will still be out there. The things you have done in the past cannot be undone, Severus. But the future can still be changed. We have been unsuccessful in fighting Voldemort mainly because we cannot get anyone close to him or his followers."

(I should clarify that in my scene, Snape has come to Dumbledore as a newly-inducted Death Eater, having realized that he'd gotten in over his head by witnessing a ritual murder before he's actually committed any crimes himself. This was written pre-Book 5, so I didn't know at the time that Snape was the one who gave the prophecy to Voldemort, otherwise it probably would have taken on a darker and more tragic tone. But I still feel that the fatherly and compassionate Dumbledore that I imagined from the earlier books would have focused more on atonement than censure. However, canon-Dumbledore in the final book comes across as much more manipulative than compassionate to me, so maybe that would not be in character for him.)

Anyway, getting back to the essay, instead of the fatherly compassion I had imagined, canon-Dumbledore's response is, "You disgust me," even though Snape has risked his life to come to ask for his help in protecting Lily. Of course it's wrong for Snape not to care if an innocent baby is murdered, and yes, James too, even though I still think he's a git. But I think that Snape should get some credit for acting out of love, to protect another person, and not just out of self-interest. His definition of love at this point is rather narrow, centered solely on one person, but it's a step in the right direction, something that could be nurtured into a broader and less selfish kind of love. Up until Book 7, I had been thinking that Dumbledore would sincerely want to help a repentant Death Eater find redemption, but now I'm not so sure. It seems more like he's just interested in guilt-tripping Snape into working for him. The only way I can still reconcile this with a loving Dumbledore is if his reaction was a form of tough love, or a way to test Snape to see if he is sincere in his desire to turn against Voldemort. Personally, I think that's rather stretching it, but I'm trying to be fair and examine all the possibilities, even if I think it's far-fetched.

I was going to say that the only concrete evidence I can find that Dumbledore might feel love for Snape is that he refers to him as a friend when he asks Snape to be the one to kill  him. However, when I went to the text to verify the quote, I saw that I misremembered. He doesn't actually say the word "friend"; what he says is: "You alone will know whether it will harm you to help an old man avoid pain and humiliation." He does seem to think, though, that Snape cares enough about him to grant him the mercy of a painless death, so perhaps at this point, their relationship has developed to include an element of friendship as well as expediency. Or maybe it's still all about his grand master plan, and he is just trying to assuage Snape's conscience because it's important that Snape be the one to kill him so that Snape will gain Voldemort's favor.

But even if we give Dumbledore the benefit of the doubt and say that he regards Snape as a friend, is that love? There are many degrees of friendship, ranging from deep love to a casual and superficial sort of affection.

Does Snape have any other friends who might love him? He might possibly have a close relationship with the Malfoys. Lucius was the one who welcomed him into Slytherin as a new student, and he spends a lot of time with Lucius as an adult. But it's not clear whether this is due to genuine friendship or Snape's need to stay close to a high-ranking Death Eater in order to fulfill his duties as a spy. On Lucius's part, it could be affection for an old friend and schoolmate, or it could be because he regards Snape as a useful pawn. Narcissa refers to Snape as her husband's friend when she goes to ask him for help in Book 6 to protect Draco. I would say that she probably believes the friendship is genuine, because if they were only political allies, she wouldn't have much reason to believe that Snape would help her. At this point in time, Snape is apparently in the Dark Lord's favor, and the Malfoys are very much out of favor, so they have little to offer him in exchange for his help. And she is taking a risk by asking him for help at all; technically, she is disobeying Voldemort's order by discussing the secret plan to kill Dumbledore with him, and if Snape reported her, she might have been punished, possibly with death. That either proves that she has great trust in him, or she is so desperate that she is willing to take any risk; personally, I think it's both.

It's difficult to say for sure, but I think there is some genuine degree of friendship between Snape and the Malfoys, but is it deep enough to be called "love"? My own feeling is, probably not.

I know that Snape apparently had other friends like Mulciber, but it's unclear as to how close he was to these friends and how genuine their friendship was. Mulciber is mentioned in connection with Snape only once, by Lily in the Prince's Tale. I suspect that they might have been allies more than friends, people he needed to be "in" with in order to gain the power that he wanted. In Books 6 and 7, many of the other Death Eaters seem to be suspicious and/or jealous of Snape; I don't see anyone but Narcissa treating him with anything resembling affection.

As for the question of whom does Snape love, the answer is probably pretty much the same as "who loves Snape?" Lily, for certain. Possibly his parents, but we don't really know for sure. He may or may not have considered Dumbledore to be a friend. He obviously didn't want to kill Dumbledore, but is this because he doesn't want to kill someone he cares about, or is it more because he's worried about the state of his soul and/or he resents that Dumbledore is using him as an instrument of murder because, unlike Draco, his hands are already figuratively stained with blood? And Snape probably had some sort of friendship with the Malfoys, but it's doubtful as to whether this could actually be called "love".

Now, getting back to Lily, I'm convinced that Snape loves her, but I'm not as convinced from the text that she loves him. However, JKR did say in an interview that Lily loved him as a friend and might have come to love him romantically if he hadn't joined the Death Eaters. Normally I don't accept outside interviews and comments as evidence if it's not in the actual text of the book, but for the sake of argument, I will concede that Lily loved Snape.

So at least one person loved Snape. But there are different forms of love, and the question that I really want to ask is: did anyone ever love Snape unconditionally?

Most of us receive unconditional love from our families: parents, siblings, spouses, children, and other close relatives. And most of us probably have at least a couple of close friends that we love unconditionally, that we would stand by even if they did something stupid, and vice versa. What saddens me is that I don't see evidence in the books of Snape receiving this kind of love from anyone.

Did Snape receive unconditional love from his parents? As I said earlier, we don't really know how much his parents loved him, or even if they loved him at all. It's interesting to see in Book 6 that Snape is apparently staying in his childhood home at Spinner's End, but his parents don't seem to be living there any longer, and no mention is made as to what happened to them. Have they died, or maybe just moved? Did Snape choose to stay there because despite what we saw in The Prince's Tale, he does have a few fond memories of the place? Or is it simply because it's a good place to hide, since most wizards wouldn't think to seek him out in the Muggle world, or perhaps because he can't afford to buy or at least rent a home in a nicer area? (The latter seems unlikely, unless Hogwarts is really miserly about paying their teachers. Since the teachers presumably get free room and board, even a modest salary saved over the years should add up to a pretty sizable sum, unless he spends it all on potion supplies.)

I find all these questions very intriguing, but also frustrating, since they were never answered in the books, or even in JKR's interviews. But judging from the glimpses that we see in Book 7, and the stunted emotional growth that he displays as an adult, I'm going to guess that Snape did not receive much affection of the nurturing sort from his parents as a child. The fact that he remains so obsessively fixated on Lily, even after she rejected him and for long after she is dead, suggests to me that she was the only person that he ever received love from.

Snape may have had a friendship with the Malfoys, but I doubt that someone as ambitious and calculating as Lucius would have loved him unconditionally. There may have been genuine affection between them, but I personally believe that the Malfoys' unconditional love was saved solely for their family, i.e. each other. I think it was made pretty clear in Book 7 that Lucius and Narcissa truly do love Draco.

Lily loved him, but her love was obviously conditional: she made it clear that he had to choose between his Death Eater friends and her, and when he chose the former, she severed their friendship. Now, I'm not necessarily faulting Lily for that. I think it would be pretty hard to remain friends with someone who belonged to a racist organization that was targeting people like me. But I think it's very sad that Snape doesn't seem to have anyone who loves him unconditionally.

Now, by unconditional love, I don't mean (for example) that Lily should be a doormat and let Snape call her a Mudblood, or that his very serious crimes as a Death Eater should just be brushed off and overlooked. A parent or a friend or a lover can and should express their disapproval when you do something wrong, while still feeling love for you.

To take a couple of real life examples, when the Unabomber's brother recognized his brother's style of writing when the Unabomber's manifesto was made public, he agonized over whether or not to turn his own brother in. In the end, he chose to do what he felt was right and turn his brother in even though he loved him. And I also read about a similar case in People magazine a few years ago, about an FBI agent who became aware that his son had committed a murder. Although he loved his son, he felt that he had to do his duty as a law enforcement officer, and he turned his son in to the authorities.

I think that if Snape had someone who loved him in a healthy and unconditional way, they would still love him even though he was a Death Eater, while at the same time want him to take responsibility for his crimes.

It's not as extreme, but in the case of the Weasleys, Molly still loves Percy even after he becomes estranged from the family. (Incidentally, while his family was correct that Fudge was hiding the truth about Voldemort's return, I also think that they treated him unfairly, but since this is an essay about Snape, not Percy, I won't go into detail about that.) Percy's siblings are angry at him, but Molly is sorrowful rather than angry, and still tries to maintain contact with him, for example by sending him the Christmas present which he sends back unopened in Book 5. She welcomes him eagerly when he stops by the Weasley home for a visit in Book 6, even though it's obvious that he is there only at Scrimgeour's behest. She doesn't change her allegiance to the Order in an effort to win Percy back; she sticks to her beliefs, but she continues to love her son even though he remains politically opposed to his family.

Of course there is also love of the unhealthy sort in the books--for example, the way that the Malfoys spoil Draco, which is no doubt what has turned him into such an arrogant bully. But still, they love their son unconditionally, to the point where Narcissa is willing to put her life at risk by defying the Dark Lord in order to save Draco, and it is this love that partially redeems them in the end.

I can't help but wonder if Snape's life would have been dramatically different if he'd had the security of unconditional love as a child. Would he have been less determined to gain power by joining the Death Eaters? His motivations for joining the Death Eaters aren't explicitly stated in the books, although fans have made some reasonable assumptions. Possibly his mother indoctrinated him with talk of pureblood superiority. Although in that case, why did she marry a Muggle? Maybe she came to regret her marriage later, and that reinforced the pureblood prejudice that she had been brought up with, although that's only speculation. Or possibly Snape came to hate his Muggle blood because he hated his father, who apparently often argued with Snape's mother.

It's not clear to me how much of this pureblood superiority propaganda Snape actually believes. He loves Lily, who is a Muggle-born, and when the young Lily asks if being Muggle-born makes any difference, he replies, "No...it doesn't make any difference." He hesitates before he replies, so maybe that's a subtle sign that he is prejudiced, but decides to make an exception for Lily. Or maybe he really isn't prejudiced against Muggle-borns, but sees the Death Eaters as his only possible path to gaining power.

JKR said that Snape thought Lily would be impressed by him becoming a Death Eater--which I admit, sounded really stupid to me at the time, since the Death Eaters look down on and persecute Muggle-borns. Actually, I still think it's idiotic, but I think I see what JKR was getting at: not that Lily would be impressed by him joining a racist organization, but by him becoming a very powerful (and presumably wealthy and influential) wizard. For someone like Snape, who does not come from a wealthy pureblood family like James and Sirius, making allies with people like Malfoy and Mulciber might have seemed like the surest path to power.

It may even be that his main motivation for joining the Death Eaters was to win Lily over. By the time that "the prank" happens, their friendship has obviously been strained, although it's partly due to Snape's choice of friends. Possibly it's also due to them being in different Houses, and maybe he feels that she's drifting away from him, although that's speculation on my part. In the meantime, he sees the rich, popular James Potter courting Lily, and maybe he feels that he needs to somehow put himself on James's level in order to compete with him.

If it's true that he joined the Death Eaters to win Lily over, at least in part, then I find that very sad, because it means that he didn't think that she would love him just for himself. And that's what convinces me that he never received unconditional love, because he apparently felt that he needed to fulfill the condition of becoming powerful in order to gain Lily's love. And that is heartbreaking.

It may be that he had a complex mix of motivations; for example: resentment of his Muggle father, which caused him to glorify his wizarding heritage, combined with a desire to impress Lily. But I believe that winning Lily's love was at least one of his motivations. Perhaps if he had been unconditionally loved as a child, he might have felt more secure, and he might not have been as tempted by the lure of the Death Eaters.

This is all speculation, of course. I believe that it's a reasonable theory, given the glimpses of his life that we've seen, but since we've seen so little of his family, I can't prove it conclusively. But he appears to have led such a bleak and lonely life that it seems like a tragedy, particularly the manner of his death: he dies with everyone still believing that he is a traitor, his name still uncleared, his only comfort being the sight of Harry's green eyes, which he most likely regards as a substitute for Lily's eyes. Harry's eyes, the torn photograph, the page of the letter saying "Love, Lily"--it seems unbearably sad to me that he has only the illusion of love to comfort and sustain him, not the real thing.

I suppose that's partly why I have such a strong desire to read and write fanfiction about Snape--to give him a little of the love and happiness that he didn't find in canon.