Severus' Dating Profile Challenge
It's been way too long since we've had a fun challenge on the group, so thanks to lovetoseverus, who took one look at this and came up with a great idea. This challenge is meant to be humorous, but if a few of you (I'm looking at you, lemondropseven wish to turn it on its angsty head, feel free.
To participate in this challenge, fill out the three sections below as Severus would. Note the Profile is the only area with a restriction on length (500 characters). Post your answers/completed profile here a similar format, but remove the narrative pieces. For those who have already posted a response, feel free to post another.
Here we go:
* Severus sat down at his desk begrudgingly and with no small amount of annoyance. He took two drinks from his snifter, prodded the mouse—or whatever it was called—with his wand a few times before finally placing his fingers on the keyboard. The plastic felt cold and impersonal, and Severus rather thought that was an auspicious way to start.
With a loud sigh, he turned his attention to the screen and told himself for the third time that hour that he was doing this willingly. No one was forcing him.
That didn't stop him from grinding his teeth as he read the first questions:
PART I: PROFILE
Screen name: (What everyone who visits your profile will see)
Name: (What your date/potential match will see)
Gender:
Occupation:
Sexual preference:
Age:
Height:
Weight:
Perhaps this might be tolerable, he thought.
The questions made sense to Severus, since it was knowledge that would be required to match him to another person. He almost breathed a sigh of relief, then stopped himself as he continued reading.
PART II: QUESTIONNAIRE
Are you a dog or cat person?
What's a better first date: a walk along the beach or a romantic dinner for two?
Do you like to hook up on the first date?
How long has it been since your last relationship?
If you answered male to the sexual preference question above, do you prefer to top or bottom?
Click here to upload your photo!
Surely his past sins had absolved him of enough of his crimes that he didn't have to suffer this injustice in order to meet someone? Just as he was about to forget about the entire thing—clearly one of his idiot ex-students had written the questionnaire—Severus chanced a glance at the bottom.
PART III: PROFILE
Tell us about you! How would you describe yourself as a person? What are your best qualities? What are your worst? Do you have any hobbies or outside interests? This is your chance to let your personality shine! (500 characters remain)
That's quite enough, he thought, and nearly overturned the table and sent the computer crashing down to the floor before he stopped himself. He counted to ten, then took several deep breaths before he reminded himself of why he was doing this. Gritting his teeth and forcing his hand to stay away from his wand, Severus straightened his back and began to type.
If you'd like to leave the profile open-ended that's fine, or if you'd like to write a narrative to end it that's great too. I'd personally like to see a message pop up from someone cough Harry cough about ten minutes after he finishes.