My problem with alcohol is twofold: one, I have a child's palate. I like stuff like alcopops, or drinks mixed with juice, cola, etc so that the alcohol is essentially unnoticeable. I don't like the taste of beer and would prefer they just give me the grape juice now without putting it in a barrel for a few years to get sour. Second, the few times I've had enough alcohol to notice have been uncomfortable on a physiological and/or psychological level.
I guess those are both ways of saying I'm a hopeless lightweight. Fine by me, I'll just be over here enjoying my "soft drink."