One more for the road: Fuan no Tane Super Happy Halloween Post!
Well, this is it, my friends. The last you'll see of Fuan no Tane, until... next Halloween I guess. Or unless someone answers my prayers and they release an English translation of Fuan no Tane and Fuan no Tane+.
So as not to leave you all soaked in terror-sweat prematurely, let's start on the more mellow side of Fuan no Tane. First up is another story that someone mentioned wanting to post here, but since it never has been I guess I'll take it upon myself to grant that request too.
I'd describe it as Bizarro-you, buddy. "Good-bye! Bizarro-you no am creepy stalker."
Eerie, no? Actually I think the creepiest thing about it is the way that the "What the hell?" is repeated in the first two panels, as if the creature is somehow echoing (or stealing) his thoughts, just like it's copied his physical appearance.
What will this hideous abomination do to our hero next!?
Oh. Absolutely nothing.
I hope this guy had the decency to explain the situation to that poor terrified girl: "What, is your shadowy doppleganger freaking you out or something? Nah, don't mind it. It'll be gone after an hour or so and never lay a finger on you. Basically it's about as scary as that one upside-down ghost who can't grab people worth shit."
Still, you have to admit that'd be some freaky shit, if it happened to you. I remember being mildly freaked out just to discover that I have a cousin who looks (looked) almost exactly like me, and had the same sense of humor that I did.
Okay, now that we're all warmed up, it's time for something moderately scarier. High school kids, take note: this is a timely little parable that shows why you shouldn't let your attention wander in class.
Sakagami (that's the girl's name): "Man, sex-education class is soooo boring! Show us the diagram of a giant dong already!"
I love the other students' reactions, here. "Tee hee! Sakagami got yelled at! That's, like, 1000 times as interesting as whatever bullshit sensei is saying."
The top-panel is positively begging for someone to make it into a "ceiling ghost is watching you masturbate" macro.
As for the story as a whole, I know some of you out there are thinking "No violence and no blood = not scary, rar rar rar." And no, I don't find this story especially terrifying, either. It's more of a spooky vignette with something of a Twilight Zone feel. Specifically, that one famous episode with the gremlin on the side of the plane. You can just see Sakagami slowly becoming unglued, watching the ghost do spooky shit right outside the window, and knowing that no one will ever believe her if she says anything.
Besides which, that one panel where the ghost is somehow bent over at a completely impossible angle to stare back through the window at Sakagami? I don't care what you say, that shit IS scary.
Next up, a personal favorite of mine, which I affectionately nickname The Drunkman Prophecies.
Call me crazy, but if I were ever too drunk to get home, I'd probably call a cab or something. I don't care HOW many other drunk people are sleeping on benches in the park.
"Listen, lady, us drunks are trying to sleep. Why don't you go do your creepy prophetic muttering somewhere--"
"--HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"
I'll tell you, the first time I read this story and got to that last page, I almost shrieked. Especially since this one comes after a bunch of fairly ho-hum, non-scary stories before it. For the longest time I couldn't even look at three-eyeballs-face there without shuddering. This time around I didn't find it nearly as scary, but then again, this time I looked at it cold, without putting myself in that ready-to-be-scared-by-Fuan-no-Tane mood so crucial to keep from laughing at it instead.
But is that it? Is that the most horrifying of horrors I have in store for you tonight? Indeed, no! Read the following, and be terrified!
Good advice: if you actually want to be terrified, it's best to see this story from a child's perspective.
Kid, "I'm all alone in the house!" really isn't what you want to be yelling when someone is banging on your door aggressively.
You may now wet your pants. With terror piss!
Seriously, who hasn't had that nightmare as a child?
You: "I haven't!"
Me: "YOU LIE!"
Yeah, being left alone by your parents is one of the most basic fears there is for a young kid. Add that with a creepy something sloooowly coming to get you, while the anticipation and the tension builds, and you've got yourself some unleaded nightmare fuel.
And now for something completely unscary.
Whoo, ominous. This seems like it might be pretty scary to me, so far.
Wow! With a build-up like that, there's gotta be a seriously scary story about mountain roads or something coming up next.
*turns the page and discovers that the story is, in fact, over* *shakes fist at the sky* "Masaaki Nakayamaaaaaa!"
I guess the point of that one is that the vagueness of the warning is kind of scary in itself. Like maybe there's some kind of unseen danger that the government itself is too terrified to mention by name, even as they post their warning signs?
Just like how here in America everyone is scared of YIELD signs, because... what are we supposed to be yielding to? Possibly... A MONSTER! *sting music*
Okay, so not everything that Masaaki Nakayama finds scary really cuts the mustard. Still, what better chance to segue into a look at the life of the man himself?
In other posts, I've explored some of the overwhelming evidence indicating that Masaaki Nakayama is basically a giant wuss. Now here is the story of how it all began. But it's also the story of how it ends, because this is the last story from the first three volumes of Fuan no Tane.
"Man, that toilet's creepy:" Apparently in Japan, because the toilet is considered so impure (for obvious reasons), it's often built in one of the darkest and most remote places possible. Thus leading to lots of early childhood trauma, which in turn lead to all kinds of legends about ghosts and monsters haunting the toilet.
I am not even remotely kidding about that.
And that, more or less, is the final curtain for Fuan no Tane. Oh, sure, there's always Fuan no Tane+... but that has yet to be translated into English (dammit). And anyway, at this point Fuan no Tane+ was nothing more than a gleam in the author's eye.
So once again, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed our semi-annual Fuan no Tane round-up. Hope to see you again next time... though I guess I'll have to delete some of my old posts if I want to post any more new material.