Helena is the (lionessrises) wrote in repose, @ 2018-09-10 22:29:00 |
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Entry tags: | *log, leena bertolini, sadie marella |
Leena and Sadie
Who: Sadie Marella and Leena Bertolini
What: Fireside Smoresin’
Where: By the fire, at the end of the map Leena gives her
When: After this
Rating: Nothing but some kissing.
Status: Log, Complete
Notes: Theme music :3
This was ridiculous. She’d spent an hour in the bath trying to make a decision. She’d spend another half an hour preening and thinking about it and here she was, not dressed, sitting in a pile of clothes on the floor with her heart beating like thunder in her chest. Sadie must have gone through a dozen combinations of outfits since getting back from the Capitol. She’d only bought three while she was there, before the anxiety of what she was setting out to do had crippled her. She had leaned, as she’d come to do often lately, on those who she’d formed a bond with here. Talking with Misha and Damian had been an amazing help. Sadie had sucked in a deep breath and resolved to be brave when she’d made it back to Repose after leaving her violin with Misha. That fact probably didn’t help things, or did it? Sadie couldn’t decide which was better, or worse. Was it good she was going without it? Was it better that she had someone she trusted to leave it with? What about if things got weird tonight and she didn’t have anything to hide behind? What if she did whatever she did and set this whole thing on fire? For sure, there was one more freakout as she tore through the outfits she bought, dressing and undressing until she just flopped down naked in the pile of clothes. What if it ended in fire? Well, would that be the first time? No, and yet here she still was. Would it rip her heart out of her chest and toss it in the mud? No, she didn’t believe Leena would do that. She was too nice. Would it make things uncomfortable with Damian and, by proxy, Misha? Perhaps, and that was the best answer she’d be able to give herself. And all these worries? Well, they all hinged on if it went wrong. After being informed the Wainrights weren’t snuggly by nature, Sadie had wondered. When Leena had come over just to cuddle up with her? Well. That was it. She’d decided that morning, after Leena had left, that she had to address how she actually felt. If she didn’t? What was the point? How was her life supposed to get better, how was she, if she kept all these things out of her life because they scared her? One more huff at herself and she pushed herself back to her feet. She’d need to go shopping again for something she liked more, something to wear to dinner, but tonight? Tonight she’d resolved to tell Leena she liked her, letting the chips fall where they may, and finally dressed herself. She wasn’t going to wear something to try and impress, well, not like she was going to do for dinner. Instead she opted with something simple. Sadie pulled it off at least once more, and she did end up opting against the usual leggings because it tended to get warm around the fire. Well, and maybe because some part of her thought this might go right and smoresing—which was the best word for it— sounded real nice with an extra bit of skin. It was bold, but that was the nature of tonight right? To be bold and brave, to put herself out there in a way she hadn’t in a very long time? Surely it was what had driven her legs forward, despite the way he brain told her to turn around and forget all this, that she was just setting herself up to get hurt or run herself out of town. Shut up She told herself in her head, grinding her toes down into the dirt as she looked at her phone to check the map. “M’goin’..” She whispered it out loud, refusing to not, no matter how much incentive she tried to give herself to do just that. She would too, arriving when they’d agreed to meet damn near down to the minute (Sadie had to jog the last little bit, but she didn’t want to be late). Now to see exactly what the night had in store for her. Either way? Sadie greeted it, and the sight of the girl, with her hands in her pockets. Her head dipped a little shyly, a soft smile, and a flutter in her chest before one would be lifted in a wave. “Hi.” Her freak outs were private, teeth biting affairs and whenever someone managed to get close enough to see one, well, Leena let it all out. This time Damian and Jack had borne the brunt of it -- of her waffling about how Sadie couldn't feel anything about her regardless of whatever she'd told Damian, and the very intense hope that she did, and the fear that she was definitely going to fuck it all up. Where she did not waffle was on what to wear. She had so few clothes that it really wasn't hard to decide and these jeans at least fit her better than the other ones that were loose and slightly baggy on her frame. She did however dawdle after brushing her teeth and raking her hands through her hair. Like Sadie had suggested, she only undercut both sides, leaving a thick stripe of long hair in the center. The sides were still super short and fuzzy beneath her palms. Cause that was the important part, right? That if Sadie wanted to run her fingers over them again, she could, and they'd be soft enough for her touch. Leena was so fucked. Still, she gathered up a blanket and the s'mores supplies, plus the stuff to make a fire, figuring that she could gather firewood on her way there. It wasn't that far, and she got there a little early -- early enough to get the blanket down and everything out, the graham crackers, the marshmallows, the chocolate, and started setting up for the fire. It was easier to do that than to think about what she'd talked about with Jack. They weren't there yet. It was fine. Not something to worry about yet. There was plenty of things to do between having a first date and having sex and they had time. They had time. They'd make time. It didn't stop her from running her hand through her hair nervously or fidgeting as she walked around picking up pieces of fallen branches to use for their fire. She'd be fine. They'd be fine. She repeated it over and over again, a mantra in her brain until she returned for the last time and saw Sadie walking up. The other girl looked impish, and so damn cute that it was impossible not to see her and smile, even as Leena shoved her hands into her back pockets nervously. "Hey, you. I was just gathering up firewood." This was a gosh darn minefield was what this was and, with each step, it only got more intense. She felt her stomach and her heart get into a brawl with her head, and her muscles? Well they just told everyone to stuff it and kept right on walking. Who knew that her old habits of being so stubborn could actually be handy? Not Sadie, that’s who. All she knew was that she was going to sit by a fire, have some smores, and maybe, maybe use the gifts she’d brought. But first she had to tell Leena how she felt. Leena, the girl who happened upon Sadie on the sidewalk and got on the fast track to being one of the most memorable people in all of her travels. She still carried the little cardboard with her name on it in her violin case, and there was a reason that iPod was pristine despite her vagabonding. It was because Leena had been special and Sadie knew it. She made her feel like the first time Sadie’d realized she was crushing on someone. She was someone who’d always been a memory that made her smile, even on the worst of days. She was someone Sadie had always hoped to see again, and now she was. Now she was going to see this girl, who Sadie came upon gathering firewood, and she couldn’t help but think she was just the prettiest sight there was to see. She was so fucked. “Well let me help then.” Because having her hands free was the point of leaving the violin with Misha, right? Plus, her time on the road and traveling with the people she had, she’d learned real good how to gather up firewood. It’d always been her job at Grandma’s too, getting wood for the nightly fires they’d all fiddle around. “Been doing this since I was a pup.” She smiled over at Leena and went about scooping some up. “Look real nice, you do.” Because she knew, if she was going to come clean? She was gonna have to start on that foot and stay right there. She didn't know that Sadie still had that little piece of cardboard with her name on it, but if Leena had thought about it, she would have guessed that it was still there. The iPod she knew about, and even if she had mourned it a little on the days afterwards where she couldn't plug her headphones in and drown out everything else, she was glad Sadie still had it. Like a little lifeline between the two of them. "Oh, yeah. I mean, I think I've almost got enough that we can definitely have it for a few hours of smores." That is, if they didn't get sick of them first and at least this time she didn't run the chance of falling asleep on her immediately like she had the last time. Thank God for non-narcotics. "I can't imagine you as a pup," she teased a little. "Maybe as a kitten. Possibly as a koala. Or a panda bear. Have you ever seen those videos of panda bears? They're so cute it hurts a little. Like that one, where there's one of their attendants there and the bear just keeps wandering off and he gets handled like a big stuffed bear," she rambled as they began gathering up more wood for the fire that hadn't been started yet. Oh God, she needed to not say attendant. Like, Sadie did not need someone to look after her at all, but the videos were cute and --"It makes me want to hug them constantly, all the time." Was that better or worse? Possibly worse-- Except Sadie said she looked nice and pink appeared on her cheeks. "Thanks, I -- thanks." This was going to get ruined by her inability to shut the fuck up. She rubbed the back of her hand against her forehead. It was fine. They were fine. Nothing new here, she'd always been a little different around Sadie, the only difference was now she -- Sadie had told Damian that there was maybe something there. Something romantic. "You look, um," she fidgeted, prancing on the balls of her feet. "Good, too. Pretty. Cute." Fuuuuuuuck. “That sounds nice…” Her toes shuffled slightly, but she continued to gather the firewood. “Can always fetch up more if’n we need too?” Because, really, as long as things didn’t go terribly and Leena didn’t say she wanted Sadie to go, she’d stay as long as she could. Especially if things went well. If Leena’s turning pink at being told she looked nice was an indication of how messy things stood to get, Sadie’s strawberry flush was a neon sign. It was one thing to be told that she was like a kitten, or a panda, but to then follow it up with words like ‘cute’ and ‘pretty’? It was just way too much for Sadie to swallow back Her eyes shot down to her shuffling toes all at once while she tried to catch the swarm of butterflies in her stomach. She tried to remember to breathe, to relax, and she stubbornly refused to buckle no matter how scary she felt like the prospect of admitting those feelings was… ...Plus if Leena thought she was pretty and cute, like a koala, that was a good sign, right? It had to be. Plus she reminded herself again that Misha said Wainrights were not the cuddling type and they had done so twice now. So Sadie just forced her big, blue, eyes back up to look at the girl, and didn’t try to hide the fact she was blushing to absurd levels. “Promise I was. A pup once.” Though perhaps kitten was more accurate. She’d been clingy, needy, and never really listened very well. “I haven’t. Maybe you can show me one later?” It was hopeful and quiet as she got back into the rhythm of gathering wood until her arms were full. “Think maybe you could even talk me into bein’ a panda bear, if there’s lots of huggin’ to be done in it…” Which was only true if the person doing the hugging was the same person she was about to have s’mores with, but Sadie didn’t let herself go that far. Eventually though it was time to put down the firewood and Sadie looked around awkwardly trying to figure out what to do with her hands. She didn’t want to seem over zealous and start building the fire herself (though she’d absolutely help when Leena got started), She really didn’t want to be that way about anything and just...thoughts. So many thoughts. Every color of good and bad in the rainbow thoughts and Sadie just...she didn’t even know where to start. So she started with the simple one as it came time to build the fire they’d sit around. She’d say it as she hovered maybe a little closer than she usually did too. “Missed you.” Which was probably silly and stupid, since she’d seen her what, yesterday? That was probably too much. It was probably awful, and Sadie’s mouth opened to sputter out an apology for it before she slammed it shut. She wasn’t sorry she said it. She meant it. “Really excited to be sittin’ roun’ the fire with you tonight.” Sadie was so pink and she'd never made anyone blush like that in all her life. The times that they were in the coffee shop and the diner didn't count, because they weren't alone, but they were alone here. Leena couldn't even pretend it was anyone else's fault. Her chin ducked down, hiding behind the thinner veil of her hair as she tried not to smile and failed oh-so-miserably at it. Her cheeks hurt and this was ridiculous and why couldn't they just go back to snuggling? Like, just straight back. No segue into it, just walking up and plopping right down for the s'moresing? (Because life didn't work that way and she knew it.) Her shoulders lifted with her next breath in and she forced herself to look up into those big blue eyes that were equally absurd and lovely. Both of them were in this. Together. Her smile relaxed a little because it was one thing to be alone, and another to realize you weren't. Not at all. "There's definitely a lot of hugging to be done with it. Especially if they're panda bear pjs." They had to soft though, and she was pretty sure that panda bear pjs being anything but soft was against some commandment of the universe. "I think that might be a requirement for them too," she added as she set the firewood down and started arranging it for their fire. It gave her a chance to keep her hands busy, and her eyes off Sadie, even though her brain was practically skipping around the other girl. "I missed you too," she said quietly as they worked. They'd only seen each other yesterday, but yeah, there it was, and Leena wasn't taking it back. "Me too. I mean, it's good. Yeah? It's good." There wasn't a person she'd rather be with, but she managed to keep that behind her teeth. "You know, Damian and I talked about you." Oh God, was that how she wanted to start this? "I mean, it was good stuff, it was all good stuff." “Might have to ask your help in trackin’ those down some.” Sadie replied easily about the pajamas, because that wasn’t something heavy. It came with hugging. It came with happy thoughts. It came with things that made her smile as they went about setting and arranging the wood. Something to focus her thoughts on while her hands worked. She tried to think about it like playing the violin, which was silly to do alongside thinking about ordering panda pajamas but— “They should have feets on ‘em too. Proper ones, with slots for all the toes.” Sadie adored toe socks, which would no doubt be revealed tonight as it had been when she’d visited in Jersey. She stole a few smiles here and there, watching the shape of the fire come together as Leena said she’d missed her too. That helped her calm down some too, knowing that maybe she wasn’t the only one stumbling in these deep an' uncharted waters. She even smiled when Leena stumbled some and she intentionally brushed the other girl’s hand. “It’s real good Leena.” She started to say, and then thought she might segue into it herself when she heard Leena’s words. She froze for a split second, a nervous and flitting gaze bounced between the fire and the girl at her side. Slowly, her hand lifted to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and she turned to plop down on her butt so she could look at Leena more directly. She took a deep breath, trying to calm down a bit of the thumping in her chest. “...You did?” She was determined to play it cool. She was. She wasn’t going to mention the things she’d said to Leena’s brother and just see what came out of the talk. It was a good plan too. Right up until Sadie opened her mouth again. “Was it on how I fancy you some but I didn’t wanna make you feel weird by saying so or that I wouldn’t come out for smoresin’ or that smoresin’ had to be anything more than just smoresin’ or…” Sadie was babbling and she didn’t mean to be at all. She just had resolved to start talking and the words were just coming out. They weren’t even the cool and collected words she’d planned to say, but more a flat vomiting of the truth that was quickly followed by an awkward silence from Sadie before she tried to course correct some. “...You said it was good yeah?” Because now it was time to just shut up. And...yeah. She needed to shut up. She was so fucked. "I, yeah, absolutely. And they should have ears too, or we should get you little black and white toe socks and panda bear slippers, to keep you extra warm and cozy," which was so damn ridiculous and yet she couldn't stop. At least she didn't say that it would make Sadie extra huggable, because the girl was already super huggable, and they might never stop snuggling if she was to dress up in black and white like a panda bear. And really, those damn videos weren't nearly as cute as Sadie was. She flashed Sadie a small smile at the reassuring touch, even as she could feel her cheeks heating again. This was like, some next level torment to be this close, to know what Damian had told her, to be afraid of what might go wrong, and to be hopeful that it wouldn't. That somehow they'd both come out the other side of this okay, that maybe there wouldn't be an end, only a beginning and a middle that lasted. Fishing her lighter out of her pocket, she got the fire started, and like Sadie, plopped back on her butt once the wood caught. "Yeah, I--" And Sadie, wonderful, caring, pretty Sadie, saved her from herself by talking. And letting it all out. Her jaw dropped a little as Sadie word vomited everywhere and Leena didn't have to say a goddamn thing, just lick her lips, and nod, and shut her mouth before a bug flew in. "Yeah, the-- the first part. Not that last part. You weren't going to come out for smoresing?" Which was somehow not the most important question to be asking, but there it was. "I liked the smoresing," she added, quiet. “No-no!” Hands were up quick as jackrabbits, trying to wave away the notion. “Course I’da come!” Accent was all thick and heavy, surprise and a mild dash of panic made it hard to cover it up. “I just...I was gonna say something first but then it was such a nice time and I didn’t want you thinking that it had to be more than just what it has been...and really just didn’t wanna make a mess of something going so good and just—” Words tumbled off into nothingness and Sadie shrugged sheepishly at the end. “I’m awful bad at this.” She confessed to Leena in a half laugh. “Normal times, folks have given up long before something needs be said, you know?” There were other, less savory, sides to that coin, but those weren’t things Sadie was about to mention. Plus she really didn’t think any of them were relevant to Leena. She was too nice to be like that, at least that was how Sadie saw it. “You make a real good marshmallow.” Sadie replied in kind, trying to put on a more bold face. “And I’d be really happy being your graham cracker anytime, you know that yeah?” She scooted a little closer as the fire caught and padded a space next to her. “Really, could say I’d be it all the time…” Because maybe it was better to talk a little slower, to ease into talking.. “Which kind you wanna do first?” A sheepish smile followed, hoping maybe something sweet could smooth over the tumble she’d taken in awkward town. Those hands were fast and the explanation, as it was, came out faster, and maybe a bit jumbled, but the corner of her mouth creeped up because she got it. She understood. And it wasn't even bad, the understanding, that Sadie didn't want to make a mess of things because this? It was good, too, even if there was a lot of worry about fucking things up. "It's-- it's okay. I'm not any better at it." It being whatever this was that she'd never done before. Hell, she hadn't even bothered to fantasize about it because it seemed too outrageous after the constant fuck ups and the past that just kept biting at her. But here they were and -- she swallowed hard and took up that offered space to nudge Sadie gently in the shoulder with her own. And maybe there was a bit of her mom in her because she knew she should say something. She should just -- she took another deep breath and rolled over, onto her hip so she was facing Sadie, cause it seemed like it was better as a face to face conversation. Oh, God, no, maybe this was worse, but she was here now. Why was this so fucking hard to say? "Um, so-- maybe it's not -- you're not, the only one. You know. With feelings. About fancying." Cause that was important, but this was definitely worse. No, she just needed to-- "What I'm trying to say is yeah, s'mores. You can always be my graham cracker, now let's hurry up and make some so I can shove something besides my foot in my mouth?" Sadie’s brain was screaming at her for being so dumb, was telling her to just wave her hand, get up, say she was sorry, and just walk out on the whole thing before it was a mess. Who was she to sit here after blathering on like that? and other such questions went spiraling through her head and rose up in her throat to form a thick knot. She tried to make herself sit still, she tried to just remember to breathe and to shut out the voice in her head and just listen to Leena when the voice got through the mess. Okay was the first word to get through her scrambling brain and it made her blink. Everything quiet way, way, down when Leena nestled in against her side and bumped her shoulder. Okay. She repeated the word to herself, hearing it in the other girl’s voice, and that helped too. Plus is was hard to have an anxious space in her stomach when it was suddenly swarmed by butterflies. Maybe they could just be bad at it together? Whatever it was and...and Leena was moving. Big blue eyes watched her carefully and she focused on her breathing and not listening to the thoughts in her head that told her the bottom was finally about to fall out of it all. She tried to think back on snuggling and blanket forts and smores and all the things that had led up to this that had been so good. It worked too and she was… She blinked again and then she got the most surprised look on her face for a half second. What followed then was big, bright, oh-so-Sadie smile. “Could get the fire goin’ an I’ll get the marshmallows on sticks? ‘Cause there’s no need to go puttin’ yer foot in your mouth.” She shook her head at the notion as if to underline the point before the idea bounced to the front of her mouth. “Or... if the fancy road’s got room for two on it...” Her right hand slid into her pockets of her shorts and she genuinely debated the offering. Was it too soon? Was it — fingers ignored her brain and she just wrapped around the two tubes of lip gloss. It was probably stupid, but —“...Could always try these?” She opened her palm and let the toasted marshmallow and graham cracker lip flavor tubes roll into view while cheeks turned pink. “Or—” This time, Sadie buttoned her lip to keep from babbling. “Or if that’s the worst idea I’ll get things ready with you and you can still show me a panda video?” For an attempt at recovery by Sadie Marella, she was remarkably proud of herself for how few words she’d spat out when she’d opened her mouth. Sadie didn't run and she didn't grimace and best of all, she didn't give Leena that look like she'd just stepped in particularly bad dog shit because Leena had opened up her mouth. She took in a deep breath now that her mouth wasn't running and --Sadie smiled. Like something amazing had just happened and before she could stop herself, Leena was smiling too. And nodding, because getting the fire started, yeah, that'd be good, she could do that. Yeah, she was all over the fire. "I can do that." She started to get up, one hand on the ground, left leg straight out in front of her to let the right do the work of getting her up when Sadie reached into her pocket. Her brows came together, curious, wondering until she saw the little tubes revealed on her palm. Graham cracker and marshmallow. Of course. Her teeth caught her bottom lip as she carefully picked up the marshmallow one. "Is this for when we can't have the real thing?" She asked, super quiet as she twisted the little tube around between her fingers. "Cause having the real thing might be better, when we can have it, you know? And what happened to chocolate? Do we both get to be chocolate? I think-- I think we both get to be chocolate," she finally ended her ramble and looked up, gray-green meeting blue. There was only one way to mix the flavors, and she knew it wasn't by applying both. That wasn't what was on offer here. "It's not the worst idea, it's a good idea. It's a great idea. It's been a really long time though," try not as long as she could remember, without help of the parties that the town liked to throw. Outside of those, she had no memory of kisses or of evenings spent by a fire, eating s'mores with someone she wanted very badly to kiss. "And um," she couldn't say she wanted it to be special. It was special. She twisted the little tube in her fingers again. "So yes, but not yet. Sometime tonight, when we both taste like real s'mores." She was keeping the marshmallow though, and slid that into her pocket, because there was going to be a time when they didn't have s'mores and this was the next best thing. "So, grab the stuff? I left it in the bag -- and I'll make sure the fire's good and we'll get started? Is that okay?" Sadie had gone for the deep end and she was sure as sure got that it was mistake when she saw those teeth touch the mouth she was very much trying not to stare at. Of course then Leena went right on being the most adorable and sweetest of people Sadie had ever met and it melted away all the worry all at once. “S’exactly what it is, Marshmallow.” She tried on the term of endearment aloud, and was quite pleased with the way it sounded. She was sure the notion either had been missed or was being politely rejected, but that was fine. Leena wasn’t telling her to go and that was enough to keep Sadie right where she was. “And having the real ones with you like this?” She turned those blue eyes up and a genuine smile across her lips. “Could be feet o’snow on the ground like, an I’d still say yes.” Her words, just as genuine as her expression were soft as she went about getting the sticks set with marshmallows. This was..it was real nice was what. “And I didn’t think about the chocolate.” She confessed, pink cheeked just slightly. “I think you’re the chocolate one, bein’ so sweet an all.” She would be so proud of herself later for not freaking out about what she offered and still managing to flirt a little. “But I wouldn’t mind sharin’ with you any.” She wasn’t just talking about being chocolate either. Sharing had been a cornerstone of everything between them and Sadie would have been a liar to claim she didn’t enjoy it a lot with her. And then Leena went on to say she had understood what Sadie meant to say and she darn near dropped the stick she was holding in her hand. “Y-yeah.” She stammered, surprised and with the kind of bubbling that made her toes wiggle in her shoes. “Later is okay. And—y’know…” She almost said that they didn’t have to, to just shrug the whole thing off like it was silly, but she didn’t think it was. She thought it sounded sweet, she just didn’t want it to feel like it had to happen. “...Jus’ really like spenin’ time with you, I do, I do. Doesn’t much matter what we do as I’m seein’ it.” She tucked a strand behind her ear as she got back to work. “It’s always real nice.” "I think you're the one that should be chocolate, you're the sweet one," she returned quietly. Sadie didn't seem to have any dead bodies in her closet, that was all Leena, and maybe that was just being hopeful because she was fairly sure the only way Sadie would hurt anyone was if they hurt her first -- and she didn't want that for the other girl. She didn't want that for anyone. "But we can trade off," she said quietly. It would be the first thing that didn't manage to find a home with the other one, sharing until one item had two owners. Maybe they could do it every time they met, switch off until it was all used. She liked the idea of that and smiled until she saw Sadie almost drop the stick in her hands. An eyebrow rose up, but the stutter and -- yeah. She got it. Cause it was new, and it made her stomach feel like it was quivering in the best way possible. That was really new, and her lips lifted back into the smile as she knelt down -- no squats, it made her thigh throb and add a little more wood to the fire until it was glowing nicely and definitely good enough for s'mores. "Think it's good," she said as she leaned back to plop on her ass. It took a little wiggling, but eventually she could lean her back up against the log and she patted the ground for Sadie. "First marshmallow's ready?" “Think that sounds real nice.” Sadie’s whole life was built around rhythm and grooves and it seemed she was finally settling into one now. “Even if’n I’m none too sure yer not the sweet one.” It was quiet but sure, trusting in herself and the way she spoke as much as she did the person she was speaking to. Nobody had gone running yet and Sadie was doing her best just to let that ride. It got real easy then and there too, when Sadie just let things be. Soon the fire was coming together and she was practically humming as she got the marshmallows and sticks ready. In true fashion, she’d probably made too many and it probably would have made more sense to just reuse the one stick, but that was Sadie’s way. Plus, now that the terribly awkward and weird confession was out of the way, she could get to the thing she’d been so looking forward to since they’d made the plan and she had figured if they had more sticks they could spend more time making s’mores and talking. It started real easy too, with Sadie bundling up the sticks and marshmallows and taking that invitation toot sweet. She scooted right in alongside Leena, wiggling until they were hip to hip, and went to hand her one of the sticks. “Sure is.” All bright and easy like she hadn’t just stumbled at all as the first stick was handed over and her own was wedged between her knees while she waited anxiously for the toasting part. “Did ya’ wan’ to put somethin’ on for listenin’ while we do? Or we can jus’ sit’n enjoy the fire too…” She couldn’t stop the way her eyes kept dancing Leena’s way, stretching as far into the corners as they could. Either way, music or not, the fire was ready and the snacks would be on soon. Sadie wasn’t in a rush though, no matter how bad she wanted to get the sugary bits all gooey and smooshed between graham crackers. She took her time, methodically toasting her marshmallows, and carefully holding the stick between her shoes when it came time to get the chocolate in place — and she set up one for Leena first — and the snacks were together and Sadie? She just lifted it like it was like a drink and she could cheers it with Leena’s own. “To s’moresin’ together.” She offered with a sheepish smile. There were a lot of sticks with marshmallows on them when Leena looked over to the pile that Sadie had going, but that was okay. It was good. It meant they'd have plenty, and since she brought the whole damn bag since it was her first time making any here and they were going to have to eat them all some time -- now seemed like a damn good time to start. "I mean, we can, yeah." Pulling her phone out of her back pocket, she unlocked it and started scrolling through her playlist to find something she wanted to share with Sadie. "Any preferences on songs?" As much as it would be nice to sit and listen to the fire, music had brought them together. It only seemed right to play it now. Something quiet though, something they could enjoy with the company instead of it drowning out everything between them. Dropping her phone in her lap, Leena took one of the s'mores from her, and blushed a little as Sadie meant to use it as a cheer. It fit though, and she was glad to have this rather than liquor. This never stole her wits, well, no more than being close to Sadie did. "To s'moresing together," she said with a grin and tapped her graham cracker into Sadie's like they were glasses. "Now, and in the future," she added quickly before she snapped off a bite and sighed, sweet sticky marshmallow, slightly spicy graham cracker, and smooth chocolate glomping up on her palate. While Leena had had some the morning after they were made, nothing was as good as fresh made s'mores. "You did," she tried to say, and it came out more like 'ew diff' as she was trying to lick the marshmallow off her teeth before she tried again. "You did good. These are so good." “Not really, no. You jus’ play something you think fits. Trust your taste, I do I do.” Sadie replied. “Jus’ somethin’ we can s’mores on.” She wouldn’t elaborate which of the two — because she was set on there being just two for now — just so she didn’t get all flustered again — she meant. Plus, really, what she wanted was sharing a sweet treat while rubbing shoulders with a sweet girl. If there was music to commemorate the moment, well, that was all the better. If one more night with Leena led to one more special song, well then that would just be the best. Nothing had ever made Sadie feel quite so warm as the songs shared just between them. Whatever got chosen for music, or if the moment got swept up in waves of sweet chocolate and a crackling fire, Sadie echoed that sigh as Leena added to the cheers. That feeling, that this was something someone wanted to share with her, it was warmer than any fire had ever been. Eyes closed, Sadie loosed a contented purr when the crunch of cracker and the sticky sweet of marshmallow and chocolate coated her tongue. Without even really thinking about it, she shifted her weight just some to bring her head down to rest against Leena’s shoulder. She even carefully cupped her free hand under the treat to keep anything from falling on the other girl. S’mores were messy after all, which is why Sadie had opted for the shoulder and not maybe trying to steal the other girl’s hand, and she just wanted to savor this moment without a misstep like that. So it was that slowly she’d munch on the snack, careful, careful, and she took the time to bask in the moment. When Leena spoke though, that made her giggle. She lifted her head, pulling back just enough so that she could look at her s’moresing partner. Sadie thought she was just about the cutest just then, mouth all full and trying to get the sticky marshmallow out of the way so she could talk. “Well, ya’ had a real fine idea, you did.” It was getting easier and the words were pacing themselves smoothly. It even paved the way for Sadie to take another, big, smiling, bite of the treat. “Should—” The word choked on marshmallow the same way Leena’s had, something Sadie had done somewhat on purpose to be silly, before she swallowed. “Should add this to the list of traditions yeah?” Lists, apparently, were a thing almost as much as music. But Sadie, she just helped herself right back to that shoulder. Careful as ever, she nuzzled a cheek to find the perfect spot for herself to fit, took another bite, and sighed happily as she swallowed. “Could get real used to this you know.” Quiet and easy in the night, with a smile that could be heard even if it couldn’t be seen. “Thank you for invitin’ me. Real glad to be here with you.” "Alright," she said quietly as she scrolled through the songs, her eye catching on a couple before she finally found the one she wanted as a first song. It made sense for where they were coming from, as the first strummed notes came out of her phone. She set it down on her uninjured thigh so they could still hear it as they munched on their s'mores. It was only made better by having Sadie's head on her shoulder, a reversal of what had happened the last time they'd been together and attempting to have s'mores. A little tilt of her head brought her cheek on contact with Sadie's crown, but she straightened up when Sadie looked up at her and tried not to giggle too much as she was unsticking melted chocolate and bubbled sugar from her teeth. "It is," she tried to say, but the syllables were softened up and she nearly giggled when she heard the same tacky words coming out of Sadie. "And yeah, you should." Lists were as much of a tradition as anything else they did and a list of traditions didn't seem bad at all. It did seem a little silly and a lot cute, but having someone to have that with? No, that was the best thing about it in Leena's book, and she took another bite as the music continued to play from her phone. And smiled when Sadie's head found a home on her shoulder, nuzzled, and settled down. "I could too," she admitted quietly. "It's just -- it's easy with you. It's not easy with anyone else but I like having you close," Leena added. "I'm real glad you're here too." The song ended, and she queued up the one. It fit better, she thought, especially with tonight and after a moment, she settled her cheek back onto the top of Sadie's head. Sadie settled into the sound of music easily and already thought it was a good choice even if it was unfamiliar to her. As the music went on, punctuated by all too perfect lyrics Sadie couldn’t help but hear, and the whole thing was punctuated by Leena’s giggling? Well, to Sadie, that was it. Then and there, she caught it. Those butterflies, there were a swarm of smitten feelings and it actually took work not to reflexively curl up tighter against the other woman. It was probably the only time in her life Sadie would ever curse having chocolate in her hands, but it was a small blessing too as it helped her stay calm and roll on with the talking too. “Tis done then.” She nodded firmly, all smiles and bright eyed by way of the feelings and the fire. She liked the idea of having traditions and lists because in her mind that equated to the future, to things they could plan to do together, and that meant there would be more together in said future. Just like that. Just like the way her head came to rest back upon Leena’s shoulder. Simple. Easy. Comforting and comfortable in every way Sadie could imagine. And then Leena went right ahead and threw the cherry on the emotional sundae of delight with what she said next. Sadie took a moment to let the surge of fresh feelings at that declaration roll through her as the song changed. With those first opening words, she sighed and there was no misreading its tone as anything but happy and content. If this had been six months ago, she might have stumbled all over herself. If this had been three months ago it probably would have sent her running for the hills, but here they were. The dancing girl from her fondest memories was right here, head on top of her own, eating smores, and playing real sweet songs while sat around the fire. Sadie couldn’t have thought of a more perfect moment. It was like something out of a movie and, very carefully still, she popped the last of the s’mores in her mouth. It was important because she needed that guarding hand. She needed to seek out Leena’s own, or a perch along the curve of the other woman’s back. Something. She couldn’t quite pin it down, what this feeling was, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t frantic or manic, it wasn’t feverishly clinging like it had been in the past. It was simple want to be just that little bit closer, to smooth out the wave of feelings as she turned her head to nuzzle her nose against the line of Leena’s jaw. “You can ‘ave me close anytime you like, ye’ hear?” The words were soft and swollen with a smitten chirp. “You just say an I’ll come.” And she’d always be there, same as the sun would come up. She thought to turn then, to sit up and shift away so she could say what she was about to say while looking the other woman in the eye, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. It was too cozy, too good here. “Always want it to be easy, for you.” Because that personal qualifier was important as she settled her head back down and started to absently sway with the music. “So you go on and get used to it if you like, an I’ll keep doin’ me best to make it so for you.” Considering she couldn’t begin to imagine what she’d done in the first place, that was probably easy. She’d just keep doing what she had been. Maybe if she was someone else, she’d have looked closer. But Leen had said it was easy to be around her and Sadie wasn’t about to look that gift horse in the mouth. “You want me to stick another one together for you?” She asked when she saw they’d both finished the first round of treats. She was crunching down the last of her s'mores when she felt that little nuzzle, saw Sadie's hand creeping up in the periphery, and a fresh wave of -- something hit. It wasn't nervousness, no, this felt like the hot tang of anticipation like she was standing on the edge of a precipice about to jump. Maybe that was accurate too, as she inhaled. 'Jump, kitten,' she heard in her mom's voice. In Cat's voice, not Cat-as-a-man, but feminine, sure in a way that she rarely felt when facing new things. Leena had enough sense to look her in the eyes before her gaze dodged down to her sticky sweet mouth. She ducked her head, fingers still edged slightly in chocolate and graham cracker crumbles when they touched the underside of Sadie's chin and she tilted it up. They were so close -- and then they were, her mouth was on Sadie's, and it was sweet, and right, and yes to all the fucking s'mores in the world as her lips lingered there, light for the span of another breath. Drawing away was slow, lips partially stuck together before she pressed another kiss to the corner of her mouth, then her cheek, and her brow, fingers slipping from her chin and into the wild mass of her hair. Sadie hadn’t been sure what to expect tonight at all. Some part of her had been sure, so sure, that this was going to be the mistake, that confessing the thrum in her chest that beat out the letters L-E-E-N-A on her ribs was going to be what proved Repose was just another house of cards. Yet the wind had blown and the house still stood. It was confusing and then still she thought maybe she’d gone too far with the lipgloss, yet Sadie had managed to stay calm. She was then so, so, sure that it would just be the nicest of nice times snuggled down on Leena’s shoulder… But Sadie wasn’t stupid and, no matter what she thought or didn’t think, there wasn’t any way in the world to misread those fingers under her chin. She couldn’t have fought them even if she’d meant to and when she caught the way the other woman held her gaze before looking at her lips? Well, that was it. Her heart jumped into her throat and she licked her lips nervously. Was this really about to happen? No-no it totally was and-- Sadie chirped again when she felt lips close around her own and there was an easy move and meshing that came with them. Tiny fingers responded to electric currents and moved to curl against what was in reach. She was sure it was going to stop right there, and there was a breathless bit of a noise that that fell into giggles when she was proved quite wrong indeed. It moved her own hands to get brave, to hoist from the space between them to shoulders, and so, so gently move to swing palm over Leena’s cheek as she turned to better face the other girl. “...-” Sadie didn’t think she’d ever think on blushing the same way, not with the way the top of her cheeks felt and how they hurt from how the smile rolled in like a tide. Everytime she thought she could get the words out, she just broke into a smile again. “...Can’ah ‘ave another?” She finally managed against the warm wash of electric feelings. It was -- Leena didn't know what she expected. Kisses at the parties came with hope and anticipation, a flurry of heat and nerves that was always followed by the crush of being found disappointing once the sun rose. The sun was still set when she heard that chirp, and still down when she heard that giggle with hands light on her shoulders. It died down to only the sound of them breathing -- faster, she was breathing faster, and shallow -- and her mouth cracked into a grin at the question issued in accented tones. "Yeah," she breathed. "Yeah, you can." There wasn't the same choreography this time, the quiet pronunciation that she was about to -- she simply did, easy as makin' s'mores, easy as saying yes to something she wanted, and guided their mouths back together. The second kiss was as good as the first, until she started wondering where to move her hands, where she should move herself as their lips lingered and she could feel the heat of Sadie's exhalations against her cheek. Should she press closer? Tilt her body into Sadie's? There was no fucking manual for this, her experiences too limited for her to know what the fuck to do next -- except keep on kissing her with a fresh pres of lips and a bottom lip captured between her own. And yeah, maybe worrying about what came next was totally overrated. If there was a word that could have been the farthest from her mind, it would have been disappointed. When Leena moved in for the second kiss, this time it was Sadie’s turn to jump. Hands were up no sooner than her bottom lip was snared and, in what only felt fair considering how the other girl had done Sadie the courtesy of making the move, she reached out to place a gentle touch. One to hip, one to cheek, and she’d tilt and lean into the other girl without the least bit of shame or awkwardness about it. Eventually the need for air would demand she relax and bright blues fluttered open as any notion to put distance away from that face was denied. Sadie just hovered, content to share the air with Leena, and her face blossomed into a bright smile. It was different, not quite the same crack-her-face-in-half,but warm in a way it hadn’t been before. Giddy might have been the word, perhaps smitten too, but the word that decidedly fit the expression and the sigh that followed? It was undiluted happiness. “Was even better’n I thought’would be.” The blush on her cheeks wasn’t awkward, but excited as fingers shifted to seek out the other girl’s in an attempt to guide them both into a sideways lay upon the blanket. If she managed it, and even if she didn’t, she’d nestle right up just as close as she could get. She’d press her lips to the corner of Leena’s mouth with a smile, she’d dip her head back, with an obvious reluctance, just far enough to look the brunette in the eye. “Gotta be careful now...” Sadie half whispered as she moved in for another kiss by the side of the fire. “A gal could get real used to this with you, she could.” Because cards were being put on the table and she was happy to follow suit as the music guided the gentle touch of more kisses out into the night, each somehow better to Sadie than the last, until she finally came to another rest where her head fell to Leena’s shoulder. “Best. Marshmallow. Ever.” She giggled warmly, tipping her head up to playfully smack her lips. “But you taste way better.” It just kept getting better in ways that Leena hadn't expected. She was a little reluctant to lay down on her side, caution and worry both making her pause, but eventually she went, and Sadie was just as gentle as she always was. It didn't go any further than kissing, and that was so much better than good. "That's one thing I don't want to be careful of," she whispered in confession as their foreheads touched, bodies spread out on the blanket like two little commas until she hooked her ankles with Sadie's and they formed the outline of a heart. Eventually they just got closer, until she was kissing the flecks of melted chocolate and crispy graham cracker off the corner of Sadie's mouth. "Best graham cracker and I'm not talking about the ones out of the box," she said with a giggle, carefree and light in ways that she rarely ever got to be. And once the s'mores were all eaten, it was just them, with Sadie's head on her shoulder and the fire crackling, the music playing quiet out of her iPhone. As much as she didn't want to call it perfect though, because perfect was something unobtainable, it was too demanding to maintain, this was pretty perfect, She kept that between her teeth though, as her fingers reached out for Sadie's and she smiled so much her cheeks would hurt later. |