Santana Lopez is also known as Snixx (holysweethell) wrote in portland_logs, @ 2014-04-25 19:12:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | dani harper, santana lopez |
Who: Santana Lopez & Dani Harper
Where: Dani’s House
When: Last night
What: Santana sneaks out
Status: Complete
Warnings: Blood drinking, compulsion, general mind fuckery
Santana was still adjusting to everything. She’d attacked Quinn so many times at this point that Rebekah was taking her somewhere else, to try and help her get this blood lust under control. It wasn’t like she wasn’t trying, it was just that around Quinn, it was like she couldn't control herself. She couldn’t control her hunger. Rebekah had her drinking from those blood bags and they helped but there was something about Quinn’s blood. It was intoxicating and she wanted it, she needed it. It called to her and she couldn’t resist its lure. So Rebekah had decided separating them was the only option. She couldn’t risk Quinn getting attacked anymore and she was worried about Hayley and the baby too. Santana didn’t like it, but she understood. She hated what she kept doing to her girlfriend and she knew it was even worse for Quinn, so she wanted to try and get this under control. Otherwise, they were never going to be able to be around one another.
They’d gone to Rebekah’s brother’s house, a few streets over and Quinn was going home, as far as Santana knew. Things were at a weird place between them at the moment, with the arrival of Dani and the fact that Santana couldn’t seem to be around the blonde without turning her into a meal. It was definitely wearing on their relationship and it sucked. Santana just wished things could go back to normal, whatever the hell that was. But, this was her reality now and she had to learn how to deal with it. Rebekah had assured her it would just take time, that blood lust was a hard thing to learn to control but that she could do it. Santana wanted to believe her, but she’d never had something like this to deal with. And the way Quinn’s blood called to her, well, how the hell was she supposed to control that? It had only been a few hours now and Santana was feeling almost desperate. She needed a taste, the blood bags weren’t doing it for her, that hunger remained. The craving was overwhelming, so she’d tried to drink. Rebekah had told her before that alcohol helped with the craving, but it wasn’t helping, Santana felt like some kind of freaking junkie. All she could think about was Quinn’s blood, the warmth of it against her tongue, the taste like nothing she’d ever known. It was only making her crave it more, knowing she couldn’t have it.
Stefan had came by to visit Rebekah and they were off somewhere doing who knows what (though Santana could probably take a guess if she really wanted to) and she’d been left on her own. Well, mostly, Klaus was supposed to be watching her, which was ridiculous, she was an adult! She didn’t need a freaking babysitter! Klaus wasn’t really paying attention to her either, she’d complained to him about being hungry and his solution had been ‘those ridiculous blood bags’. See, even he wanted the real thing, so why shouldn’t she have it? He told her she would learn, in time, how to feed the proper way and she would learn so many more ‘wonderful things’ like compulsion and how to revel in being superior to everyone else. Now that, she could definitely get used to. Maybe he wasn’t such a psycho after all. When he disappeared to get a refill of their drinks, Santana had decided to make her move. There was only one thing that was going to satisfy her right now and that was Quinn Fabray’s blood. She had to have it. With her new powers, Santana had managed to slip outside and make it halfway down the block before anyone could even blink. She could definitely get used to the speed aspect of things, very quickly.
Santana knew Quinn was likely not home anymore, it had been a few hours, but it hadn’t stopped her from checking. She was almost to the house she and Quinn shared with Kurt and Blaine when another scent caught her attention and she stopped
Head turning to the right, she saw the source of the smell; a very familiar blonde. “Dani.” She said to herself, a slow, devious smirk curling up at the edges of her full lips. She hadn’t seen the girl since she’d arrived, they’d talked a few times on the net, but that was it. Santana was in front of Dani before the girl even realized it, tilting her head and still wearing that devious smirk. “Miss me?”
Dani’s first week in Portland had been eventful. Not only had she been faced with some freak snowstorm, but she’d learned soon after she’d arrived that Santana had been turned into a vampire. It was a tough thing to come to terms with -- though, probably no worse than trying to come terms with being brought here through a wormhole, being greeted by a politely threatening hologram named Holly and somehow being further down the timeline than everyone else. She’d decided after talking to Blaine that she might as well just kind of get used to this place because even if it was some big collective hallucination, she wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Apparently, you could only leave this version of Portland in 24 hour intervals before you were brought back the same way you’d first come, anyway.
Worse than learning all these things was learning that Santana, in her absence, had found herself another girlfriend. Quinn. Dani knew about Quinn, obviously. Santana and Rachel and Kurt had talked about her, but she’d never met her before. She still hadn’t actually met her in person, but she’d talked to her, and it hadn’t really gone too well. Somehow, even with how insignificant this was in the grand scheme of things, it was what hurt Dani most. Santana had replaced her. She said she still loved her, that she still loved her and Quinn, and Rachel had told her Santana always talked about her, but it still sucked. She tried not to let it though. She tried to just support Santana in doing whatever she felt was best, but they’d only talked a couple of times.
Basically, her life wasn’t particularly fun right now.
It was a cool evening, but not cold enough to bring more snow, thank God. It was hot in the house, so Dani decided to step outside for a few minutes. They had a small porch area out front, and there was a nice view of the clear night sky. This really was a beautiful city. You couldn’t see the sky quite like this back in New York, and Dani had always had liked looking out at the stars and the moon when she was little. That hadn’t changed.
She had probably only been standing out there for about thirty seconds when suddenly, Santana was standing in front of her. She’d appeared like a flash, and Dani gasped. “God, you scared the hell out of me!” she scolded the younger girl. “How--” She stopped there. She remembered that Santana had told her about the super speed that came with being a vampire. That must have been how she’d done that. It sounded way more fun in theory than when she was actually confronted with it.
That smirk Santana was wearing gave her a weird feeling. Usually, seeing her smirk like that made her heart flutter, but this time it kind of just made her stomach drop. But she still felt glad to see Santana. She hadn’t been able to see her since she’d gotten here, and to be honest, she was surprised she was seeing her now. Santana had said over the net that she and Rebekah would be moving to another house soon, somewhere more isolated where she couldn’t attack Quinn so often. Just remembering that made Dani tense up. Santana was a vampire now, she had to remember that. She may be the same girl she loved in personality, but she lived off human blood now, and Dani had a lot of it.
“What are you doing here?” she finally asked. “I thought you were staying with Rebekah until you got everything...under control.”
Santana laughed when Dani gasped like that, scolding her for scaring her. She tried to ignore the way her heart was beating faster, the way she could hear the blood pumping fast through her veins. Rebekah told her how to control it, how to try and push that sound out and focus on something else. Like how good it was to see Dani. She’d missed her. Even if she had started dating Quinn, she still loved Dani. She loved them both. It was one seriously fucked up situation, but she was still really glad to see the girl. She didn’t miss how she tensed up though or the fear she could sense washing over the blonde. It made her frown a little. Santana didn’t want Dani to be afraid of her.
She shrugged at Dani’s question. She couldn’t exactly tell her she was having some kind of withdrawal or something and needed Quinn’s blood. “I wanted to see you.” Santana said instead. It wasn’t a lie, she had wanted to see Dani. “And I’m still staying with her, I just needed to get out, I’m going stir crazy in that fucking house. Quinn left and they’re like, watching me constantly. Rebekah’s brother was babysitting me or whatever and I just needed to get out for awhile. So, I left.” It was mostly the truth. “I didn’t kill anyone on the way over, in case you were wondering.” She smirked, her eyes dropping to the vein throbbing just beneath the surface of Dani’s throat. Focus, Santana, focus. She closed her eyes for a minute, trying to keep her control. But, the sound of Dani’s blood rushing through her veins filled her ears and Santana could feel the control slipping, the black veins beneath her eyes were probably starting to appear and she could feel her fangs sliding free. She quickly turned away from Dani and squeezed her eyes closed. No. She could do this. She could do it.
Dani smiled sympathetically, leaning back against the porch rail. She could really only imagine what it would feel like to have to deal with this kind of change, but she knew Santana didn’t like to be still long. Being watched constantly and kept from leaving the house had to be ridiculously hard on her. She’d hate it if she was in that position too. She was happy to hear Santana had wanted to see her, though, because she had wanted that too, even if it was a little more terrifying a prospect now that she’d been turned.
She rolled her eyes playfully when Santana said she hadn’t killed anyone, but she was quietly glad. That had to take a lot of self-control, right? So, maybe Dani really didn’t need to be afraid. But then she saw those black veins start to appear beneath Santana’s eyes and she instinctively took a step away while the younger girl whirled around. Whatever that was, it was definitely a vampire thing, and she didn’t take it to be a good sign. Swallowing hard, trying to calm her nerves, she asked, “Are you okay, babe?”
“Stay back!” Santana bit out, a little more harshly than she’d intended. But she was struggling with her control right now and she was trying like hell to keep herself from attacking Dani. She’d already lost control so many times with Quinn that Santana could sense the fear she felt around her now. She hoped that would fade and she definitely didn’t want to attack Dani too, but right now she was having hard time. “Just...I need a minute. Okay?”
Santana closed her eyes tight, trying to focus on anything but that sound, that natural urge to feed. She tried to remember Rebekah’s words, her gentle (and sometimes angry) tone coaxing and encouraging her. She tried to think about the feeling of Rebekah’s hand around her throat, holding her down and making her calm down. It took her a few moments, but Santana finally felt the urge pass and she ran her tongue over her top teeth, feeling that her fangs had retracted too. She did it!
Turning back around to face Dani, she smiled a little nervously. “I’m okay.”
Luckily, Dani had no intentions of trying to turn Santana around or touch her at that moment. She could see that Santana was struggling, and she didn’t want to make it any harder for her. She stayed still and quiet, still leaning against the porch rail while Santana did whatever it was she needed to do. She was trying not to feel scared, but she was, a little. Okay, she was a lot. She couldn’t help it. She knew Santana was still Santana, but she was also a bloodthirsty vampire, and it wasn’t all it was romanticized to be by pop culture. That much, she was already sure of.
She returned that nervous smile when Santana turned back to her, her eyes clear and looking more like herself again. “Good,” she said. She hesitated a minute before saying, “It’s really good to see you. I’ve been really worried about you.”
“It’s good to see you too, babe.” Santana replied with a more relaxed smile. She could still feel Dani’s fear and she hated it. She didn’t like her girlfriend (either one of them) being scared of her. While she’d gotten off on ruling with fear in high school and she generally liked people to be afraid of her, this was different. This was Dani and it had been Quinn. Two people that knew her better than anyone else and knew the side no one else got to see. It was all making her a little insecure, she really needed to get over that. She was a freaking vampire now, she wasn’t supposed to be some insecure loser. “You don’t need to worry though, I’m cool. Well, I’m working on it anyway.” It was a slow process, but it was getting there. Sort of.
“Are you doing okay? I mean, first this with me and then the snow.” She took a tentative step closer as she talked. “One hell of a welcome to Portland present huh?”
Dani was still tense, even though she was trying her hardest not to be. She loved Santana, and she wanted to trust her, but it was more difficult to do in person than she’d anticipated. The reality of this vampire thing didn’t really hit her until she’d been confronted with it like this, out of nowhere. She took a breath and just tried to remember that this was Santana, and she would never want to hurt her. Not on purpose.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” she replied, forcing herself to stay still and not move back like every cell in her body was begging her to do. “That blizzard was pretty crazy though, huh? Not something you’d usually expect to happen in the middle of April.”
Santana nodded. “Totally crazy. Where the hell did it come from anyway?” The question was rhetorical, it was just them making small talk and it was kind of awkward. Santana hated it, things had never been really awkward with them. Aside from their initial first getting to know you conversation when Dani had made Santana super nervous and she never got like that with girls, or with anyone for that matter. Dani had been different though. Now here they were, with things nervous and slightly awkward for a completely different reason.
Her step closer had made Dani even more nervous, Santana could hear the subtle difference in her heart beat. It was crazy how she could hear all that stuff now. It was sometimes still really overwhelming, hearing so many different sounds so vividly all at once. That pang of hunger hit her again and God, she really needed to find Quinn. Dani smelled delicious too, but Santana had a taste for Quinn’s blood now. There was something different about it, she’d tried to talk to Rebekah about it, but then she’d thought maybe it was just the fact that it was warm and from the vein instead of from a blood bag and cold. But, it wasn’t that, it couldn’t be, there was something about it that was different. Santana wondered if Dani’s would taste just as good, she could hear her heart beating steady and fast in her chest, the sound of blood rushing again through her veins. Santana’s eyes drifted down again to Dani’s neck, the vein there jumping faintly beneath the skin, in sync with her heart beat. It was luring her in, she was completely transfixed on that vein. Her eyes changed and her fangs slipped free without her even realizing it.
Santana wasn’t the only one who hated this pointless small talk, but Dani didn’t know what else she could say. They had already talked this whole Santana-has-two-girlfriends issue to death. She had said what she had to say, so had Santana, so they were stuck on small talk until the younger girl decided what she wanted to do. And Dani honestly didn’t want to push her when she was already going through a lot of changes that she didn’t understand and could end with her turning murderous. So, it was awkward, but at least everyone was calm.
Dani shifted her weight uneasily when an awkward silence settled between them. You could cut the tension between them with a knife, especially given the way Santana was looking at her. She liked when Santana looked at her; it made her feel attractive and wanted, and it was almost addictive. But this wasn’t that kind of look. Dani saw hunger in those dark eyes, and before she knew it, she saw Santana’s fangs and her eyes were turning black and veiny again.
“Santana… stop,” she said, her voice shaky. The words had sounded much more confident in her mind, but they definitely hadn’t come out that way. Instinct kicked in and she started stepping backwards, away from Santana, but there was really nowhere she could go. “Santana, please...”
The fear radiating off the small blonde was overwhelming, not just in the way her voice came out small and shaky like that, either. It was coming off her in waves. She was scared and somewhere deep in her mind, Santana knew she needed to stop, she needed to get herself in control. She tried to focus on Dani’s voice, to lift her eyes to those soft brown ones that were darkened with fear. She looked terrified and Santana knew it was because of her. She couldn’t seem to reign it in this time though. All she could think about was that blood, that warm, thick, coppery blood filling her mouth and satisfying her hunger. She wondered if Dani would taste as good as Quinn did.
All it took was that thought to send her off the deep end and she rushed at Dani, pinning her back against the front door of her house. Her fangs punctured Dani’s neck before the girl could even scream and Santana held her body tightly against her own as she drank.
Everything happened so quickly. Dani kept telling herself to scream, to let Sam know that she was out here, and she needed help. Nothing would come out. Santana already had a height advantage, but now she was ridiculously strong too. It didn’t matter how much Dani struggled, Santana had her trapped. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest as Santana’s fangs sank into her neck. No matter how many different ways she tried to think to escape, she knew there was no way, so she just tried to relax. Maybe if she just stayed as still as possible, it wouldn’t hurt.
But she was terrified, and she couldn’t keep entirely calm. She squirmed and tried as gently as she could to get Santana off her. Not that she honestly thought that would stop her or she’d be able to overpower her. She was starting to feel lightheaded, though, and weak. She just really didn’t want to die.
Santana drank greedily, determined to satisfy her hunger, but the more she drank from Dani, who was struggling against her, the more she realized something. Her blood didn’t taste the same as Quinn’s. Like, at all. It was blood and it was delicious, but it didn’t seem to have the same taste, smell or effect that Quinn’s blood had on her. As she started to realize that fact, she also started to realize exactly what she was doing. Fuck. She’d done it again.
She stopped suddenly, her features shifting back to normal as she held Dani there in her arms. “Fuck.” She muttered, seeing how weak Dani was now. She looked pale and Santana felt horrible. “Oh God, Dani, I’m sorry.” If she hadn’t noticed the difference in the blood, would she have stopped? Or would she have killed her other girlfriend? She’d already almost killed Quinn and now she’d just almost killed Dani too.
Lifting her up, Santana carried Dani over to the chair on the porch and sat her down in it. She leaned in close, trying to make sure she was okay. Tipping Dani’s chin up, she looked into her eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. It was an accident. It was just an accident, I didn’t mean for you to get hurt. You’re okay. You’re gonna be okay.” What Santana didn’t realize was what she was doing right then. “Okay? Tell me you’re gonna be okay.”
Dani wasn’t religious or even really spiritual, but when Santana finally stopped, she could have thanked God she made it out alive. She was sure Santana could easily have killed her without even realizing it, but she’d stopped. With how much Santana said she’d been struggling with control, it was probably some kind of small miracle that she hadn’t drained her completely.
She didn’t really feel up to moving, so Santana carried her over to a chair on the porch and set her down. She was starting to slowly recover, and she lifted her fingers slowly to her neck while Santana kept frantically apologizing. There was still blood there, it got on her fingers. She’d just had her a vampire drink her blood, and that vampire was her girlfriend. The whole thing was just so surreal.
She met Santana’s eyes when the younger girl tipped her chin up, and she felt like she went into a sort of trance. “I’m gonna be okay,” she said, slowly nodding her head. And already, just after saying that, she felt better, more like herself. Santana was right; she was going to be okay.
Santana’s brow furrowed in confusion as Dani went all weird and trancelike, repeating her words like that. What was that? Was that the compulsion thing Rebekah had mentioned and Klaus had said something about earlier? Was that how it worked? It was weird but it seemed to work, whatever it was. Santana was just worried about Dani and she didn’t want her to worry or to be afraid of her. Maybe she should make Dani like, not be afraid of her too. Was that how it worked? She wasn’t entirely sure, but she didn’t want her to be afraid. Not of her.
“You’re not afraid of me.” Santana said softly, her gaze still locked on Dani’s. “And you’re gonna be okay. Everything’s gonna be okay.” She cupped Dani’s cheek and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “I’m sorry, okay?”
Dani nodded again. In the back of her mind, she thought it was a bit strange, but she felt Santana’s words. Even after she’d pinned her and drank from her, she looked at her, and she didn’t feel afraid. “I’m not afraid of you,” she agreed, and then, she smiled. She was slipping out of the more trancelike state, but the words still stayed in her head. “I could never be afraid of you,” she said, taking Santana’s hand in her own. It felt so wrong for her to ever have been afraid of Santana.
“Good.” Santana said, lifting their hands to her lips and pressing a soft kiss to Dani’s hand. “Now go back inside and forget I was here.” She wanted to stay, she wasn’t sure where else she could go unless she snuck back into the house without Rebekah knowing she was gone. But something told her that wasn’t going to happen. She was gonna be in a lot of trouble and she knew it, but she was afraid to stay here, with Dani, when she could hurt her again and not be able to stop next time. She watched as Dani went back inside and left the house, unsure of where she was going, but she didn’t want to go back to that house. Not yet.