unbroken_halo (unbroken_halo) wrote in pornicators, @ 2005-12-26 15:15:00 |
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Current mood: | cranky |
Fic Request
Original poster: occasusvenustas
Title:: Raining With You
Rating:: R
Pairing:: Severus/Harry
Summary:: Fic request for daughter_moon. musician!Snape and blind!Harry, a/u no magic. Snape is forced to do charity work for Albus, and ends up meeting Harry.
Prompt:: Is it raining with you? (Eurythmics lyric)
Word Count:: about 10,046
A/N and Warnings:: A/U no magic, only a wee bit canon!Snape here, I have a hard time keeping him canon in no magic fics. Hope this is what you wanted darling! Not really beta'd and X posted to communities. Sorry if your flists were spammed. :p
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“I hate you beyond words,” came the snarl from behind a long-fingered hand.
The old man sitting at the table chuckled and ran his hand over his long beard. “I know, my boy, I know.”
“Albus… you must realise I have absolutely no time for this rubbish!”
“You told me yourself you have plenty of time as you were taking a holiday from the symphony, Severus,” Albus replied.
Severus placed his palms down on the table and leant forward. “Yes, but I was taking my holiday to do something I want to do.”
“It’s not forever, Severus. It’s for six weeks and when it’s over I’ll never ask you for another favour again.”
Severus snorted. “You really are the worst liar.”
“What do you say, my boy? You do owe me. If you’d kindly remember last summer when…”
“Alright, alright!” Severus hissed. “But no longer than the damned six weeks. I hate children and you know that perfectly well.” Severus rose from the table and started towards the door grumbling to himself. “Ridiculous job… can’t stand little brats… don’t even appreciate music the way they ought to… kill myself before this is over…”
Albus chuckled and watched as Severus left the room. When the snarky man was gone, Albus picked up the phone to make arrangements for their stay at the Home for Abused and Neglected Children.
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Severus had one week to prepare a six-week lesson for children who’d likely never touched an instrument in their lives. Severus Snape was a loner by nature, worked for the symphony in London since he was just eighteen and had been a musical prodigy since the age of six.
Severus was a rather bitter man, troubled still by his tremulous upbringing and difficult time he had in school. He was not a pleasant man to look at, his hair long and greasy, his body too thin and face too sallow. His nose was large and his eyes, though interesting in their utterly pitch black colour, were too cold when they looked at you. Severus had never been in love, never had a proper relationship though he’d had his share of one-offs and knew full well he preferred men over women.
Severus was a difficult man to get along with which was why Albus Dumbledore didn’t bother to tell Severus that the director of the facility he would be teaching at was Remus Lupin. Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew were a group of boys that spent Severus’ entire school career bullying him. They even caused an accident, which they labelled a prank, which nearly killed him just before he sat his exams. Severus never fully moved on from it. Not even when James Potter was killed and Sirius Black was locked away for the murder.
The facility Severus was being sent to teach at was called Hogwarts. It was a home for disabled orphan children who were waiting to be adopted. The facility served as home and school for these children and Severus was set to introduce an advanced musical programme for the more talented children. He didn’t want the job and he would hate it even more when he saw who was working there.
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There was another issue that Albus hadn’t addressed as well. The music teacher, whom Albus had left anonymous thus far, was Harry Potter… the son of James Potter. James and his wife Lily had been murdered when Harry was just a year old, leaving the boy orphaned and sent to live with his relatives. When Harry was three, he developed cancer in his eyes and went blind. Not wanting to care for the boy, his aunt and uncle left him at Hogwarts and never returned.
Harry was now twenty-two and working at Hogwarts. Harry had grown up a rather shy child and rarely ventured outside of the school. No one minded that he stayed after he reached the legal age and as soon as the music department lost a professor, Harry assumed the post. He’d always been talented at instruments and found the position to be perfectly to his liking.
The night before Severus arrived found Harry and Remus walking the courtyard, bundled against the cold. Harry was holding Remus’ arm and they were strolling down the familiar path. “So this new teacher, I hope he’s accustomed to the sort of students we have here.”
Remus gave Harry’s arm a gentle squeeze. He knew Severus wasn’t going to be easy, but he also knew that Severus was good at what he did and would give the students a healthy dose of reality, something Harry was never given. Remus believed that was why Harry was so utterly terrified of the outside world.
“I’m sure everything will be fine, Harry. I’ve known this particular teacher for many, many years. He’s good at what he does and I think he’ll be good for the kids.”
“If you trust him I’ll trust him,” Harry said, though he didn’t sound like he meant it.
Remus chuckled and started them walking back towards the building. “I think we ought to get a good night’s sleep. He’ll be here in the morning and we have a lot of planning to do for the new class.”
Harry sighed and stopped. Turning his face up towards the sky, Harry took a deep breath. “It smells like rain.”
“It’s cloudy,” Remus said.
“It’s always raining here,” Harry said and smiled. “It’s always raining with me.”
Remus smiled back and pulled Harry back inside. The two parted ways in the corridor and went to bed.
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Severus Snape arrived the next morning. He looked his usual self, dressed all in black, his hair worn long and greasy. His face was sallow and it looked as though he hadn’t smiled once in his life. He pulled one large suitcase behind him and strapped to his back was a large instrument case which looked like it contained a cello.
Severus looked up at the sign that read Hogwarts, let out a small sigh and then went inside. There he was directed to the Headmaster’s office and when he paused in the open doorway, he froze. There sitting behind the desk was Remus Lupin. He recognised the face immediately. The most shocking part, however, was the image of James standing next to him. Severus blinked a few times, shook his head and reasoned with himself. James was dead and even if he wasn’t, he couldn’t possibly look that young.
Remus, meanwhile, gave a small, uncomfortable “ahem” sound and leant forward. “Hello Severus. Albus said you’d be arriving today.”
“Yes well,” Severus said, regaining his composure, “he failed to tell me you were running this school.”
Remus let out a small laugh. “I gathered that from your reaction… as well as the fact that you said yes.”
“You requested me then?” Severus asked, his eyes going wide. “Albus said it was a favour to him.”
“Which was a favour to me,” Remus said. “You are the best, after all.”
“And you believe these students deserve the best?” Severus asked with a sneer and sat down.
At that comment, Harry shifted in his chair. “These students do deserve the best,” he said very quietly.
Severus looked at Harry with a quirked eyebrow and then looked back at Remus. Remus cleared his throat again. “Ah yes… Severus, this is Harry Potter.”
“Thought as much,” Severus said.
To Severus’ confusion, Remus leant across the desk and guided Harry’s hand to Severus so they could shake hands. Severus noticed the blue-tinted glasses and it clicked into place. He was blind. “You’re the music teacher?” Severus asked.
Harry nodded. “I am.”
Severus looked at Remus again. “Well, I suppose I’m not being paid to sit and make small talk so I ought to get started.”
Remus sighed a little, knowing it was going to be a difficult six weeks. “Why don’t I show you to your room. The first music class doesn’t start until after lunch. You can get settled and then meet with Harry then.”
“As you wish,” Severus sneered and without saying a goodbye to Harry, he followed Remus out of the office.
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Just after lunch, Severus made his way down to the music room. The only person in there was Harry and he was sitting quietly at his desk. Severus didn’t announce his entrance and merely began to set up his cello in the corner.
“Mr Snape?” Harry inquired.
“I’m setting up my things,” Severus said by way of answering.
Harry paused a moment, plucked up the small amount of courage he had and walked round the desk. Leaning against the side, he spoke in Severus’ direction. “It’s clear there’s animosity I don’t understand,” he began softly. “I do understand that you don’t want to be here. You made that quite clear this morning.”
Severus smirked a little at Harry’s defensive tone. “That much is true, Mr Potter. I did not ask for this job, I was coerced into it without knowing who the Headmaster at this school was.”
“Why do you hate Remus, Mr Snape?” Harry inquired boldly.
Severus snorted. “A myriad of reasons I do not care to share with you. As it is, I feel as though I’m ready to walk out of here. I do owe Albus a lot of favours, however this is pushing it.”
Harry gave a small sigh. “Well contrary to what you believe, this job is great, as are the students. I’m sure you’ll find your time has been well spent when your six weeks are up.”
“What a delightful notion, Mr Potter. What fairy tale book did you read that in?”
Harry, unused to such utter snark, blinked out of surprise. He reached up, pulled the glasses from his face and rubbed at his nose. Severus noticed that Harry’s eyes were a very unnatural green colour and had absolutely no movement in them. It took Severus a moment to realise they were fake and that unnerved him slightly.
“Well Mr Snape, class is about to begin so I suggest we get started.” Harry’s voice was slightly shaky but he kept his composure. “I’ll introduce you and explain the new programme. Remus has told me you have a piece you wish for them to learn for the tryouts?”
“Yes,” Severus said. “I was going to introduce that tomorrow. I planned on sitting in through the class today and listening.”
“Fair enough,” Harry said, and as he started to make his way back round his desk, the students began to file in.
At first glance they seemed as normal as any other students. They all came in, chatting happily with their friends. Severus did notice one boy in the back using his hands to speak. Sign language. He was afraid to ask why so he kept his mouth shut and stood near the wall as everyone got settled.
Eventually Harry stood up and when he spoke, he raised his hands and signed. “Well class, as I reminded you yesterday, today we have a visitor. His name is Professor Severus Snape and he’s here to start the advanced music programme. Tomorrow you will be given a first look at the music but today we’re going to finish what we started last week and he is going to sit and listen.”
Every student turned to look at Severus for a moment before Harry began the class. Severus began to notice odd little quirks here and there amongst the students but when he heard them begin to play, he was mildly impressed. He was also grudgingly impressed with the way Harry conducted the class and found only a few things to criticise him on.
The class lasted an hour and a half before they were dismissed. Before Severus could approach Harry, the boy who was signing walked up and grabbed Harry’s hand. He began to press his fingers in a series of signs on Harry’s palm. Severus watched with fascination as Harry signed back and they carried on conversation. Eventually the boy walked off with a slight pout and Harry chuckled.
“Why does he use sign language?” Severus asked.
“He’s profoundly deaf,” Harry replied. “I had to learn how to read finger spelling on my palm to properly communicate with him.”
“A deaf music student communicating with his blind professor,” Severus sneered under his breath. “This school is insane.”
“It works perfectly well and you heard how well he does,” Harry defended angrily.
Severus snorted. “Even a deaf child can keep a rhythm on percussion. Where’s the talent in banging a stick on a drum?” Severus knew damn well this was not true. In fact, learning that the child was deaf shocked him but he would not give in.
Instead of responding, however, Harry turned and stormed out of the classroom. Severus smiled triumphantly. He was still in control of the situation and he planned to keep it that way.
Later that night, Severus went down to the music room to look over the sheets of music he planned on handing out to the children. He’d already had the music made out for each instrument and was hoping he could squeeze at least one of each for the advanced orchestra. Severus may not have wanted to be there but he was and he was also determined to make it the best he could.
Deciding he wanted to try out the sounds again, Severus picked up his bow, sat at his cello and began to play. The cello piece was larger than the instruments and it was also the most melodic. The low rich sound filled the classroom and as he slipped into his mind, letting the music carry him away, he didn’t hear the door open.
In walked Harry Potter just as Severus launched into the piece. The music caused Harry to stop in his tracks and listen. He leant against the door frame and felt the music wash over him. It was beautiful and unlike most of what he usually played.
When it was over, Severus looked to his right and saw Harry standing in the doorway. “What are you doing?” he snapped.
“Listening to the music,” Harry replied. “You’re amazing.”
“I know,” Severus said. “That’s why I was dragged here, remember?”
Harry shook his head and made his way to his desk. “This is what you’ll have the students play?”
“I don’t expect them to sound like I did,” Severus said with a shrug, “but yes, that is the piece. The music is written for each child and I’ll hold the tryouts at the end of next week.”
Harry hesitated before asking, “May I have a copy of the piano piece?”
“Why? You can’t see the notes,” Severus said plainly.
“Yes, but I can have Remus print it out for me in Braille. I’d like to play it, if you don’t mind.”
Severus hesitated before fetching Harry a spare piece for the piano. “If you wish. I didn’t realise you could play anything,” he added.
“I can actually play many things,” Harry answered. “Piano just happens to be my favourite.”
Severus decided not to comment on how much that was like himself. Instead he gathered up the papers, shoved them into his music folder and began to put his cello away.
“Why do you hate Remus so much?” Harry inquired again.
Severus glowered at Harry for a moment before he realised the look was lost on him. “It’s really none of your concern.”
“Just thought I’d ask,” Harry said. “Well, goodnight Mr Snape. See you in the morning.” With that, Harry turned and left the room.
Severus sighed softly as he finished putting everything away and carefully made his way out into the corridor. He had learnt that day that he was rather lucky in his class. There were many children there that were severely handicapped and the thought of having to teach them made him nervous. He didn’t have a problem, per se… or that’s what he told himself anyway. They just made him… nervous.
Severus rounded the corner that led to his quarters and as he did, he nearly ran straight into Remus. “Watch where you’re going,” Severus snarled.
Remus took a step back. “Sorry bout that, Severus.”
“Why are you racing about like that, Lupin? You could kill someone,” Severus hissed as he stepped aside to let Remus walk by.
“Habit,” Remus said. “I tend to walk fast because sometimes they need me rather quickly round here.”
Severus paused and then said, “Your little pet Potter keeps asking me why I hate you so. I can’t believe you didn’t tell him.”
Remus shook his head slightly. “I didn’t feel he should know certain things about his father.”
“About how cruel James was?” Severus asked with a wicked smile.
“James never meant to hurt you, and you know it. He tried to stop you,” Remus said.
“What makes you think I’m talking about that incident, Lupin? I’m referring to the seven years of total hell he put me through before I was finally allowed to sit my fucking exams and leave that place.”
Remus looked down. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry Severus.”
Severus leant in close to Remus. “It’s worth nothing, Lupin. Nothing.” With that, Severus stormed off.
As Remus began to make his way back down the corridor, he didn’t see the figure of Harry Potter standing just in the shadows, listening to every word.
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“Alright you lot,” Harry said once the noise of the students had settled and they were sitting in their chairs, “today you’ll be given the piece that you’ll be playing to tryout.”
Severus pulled the sheets of music out of his folder and watched out of the corner of his eye as Harry stood beside him and signed everything he said. “I’m going to call out your instrument and you’re going to come up and grab the music,” Severus said plainly.
It was a slow process but after fifteen minutes each student had their respective music. They were all looking it over with some curiosity and Severus stood back until he felt they had absorbed enough.
“S-sir,” came a timid stutter from the side of the room.
Severus looked over and saw a petite blonde girl with her hand raised. “Yes?” Severus asked sharply.
“C-could we h-hear th-the musi-music? C-could you p-play for u-us?”
Severus found he was annoyed by both the stutter and the request. It was a valid request, however, and he knew it. “I shall play a small portion of it for you. Mind, it would be easier if I had accompanying piano. I might add that this piece was written for cello, hence the reason the cello has the most melodic part in it. I expanded it for the rest of the instruments and the piano, I found, compliments the cello best. As I cannot play both instruments at the same time, you’ll have to accept just the cello part.” Severus knew he was rambling. He hated children and teaching them made him nervous. He wanted to slap himself in the face as he took his seat and pulled his cello to him.
Before he could draw the bow across the strings, Harry cleared his throat. “I’d be happy to accompany you on piano, Professor Snape.”
Severus looked at Harry with a frown. “And how do you propose to do that? I gave you the music last night and surely you can’t read with your fingers and play at the same time.”
The students all looked horrified that Severus would speak to Harry in such a way but he didn’t care. Harry, however, smiled. “I’ve memorised it.”
“Memorised it?” Severus asked with a snort.
“I have a very sharp memory, Professor Snape.”
“If you insist,” Severus said with a sigh. He knew Harry was going to do a total botch job but that would only prove his point, so he didn’t argue.
Harry took his place at the piano, warmed his hands a bit and then placed them over the keys. He ran up and down the scales quickly for a moment before nodding. “Okay.”
Severus took a deep breath and brought the bow to the string. As he drew out the first long note, he heard Harry chime in with his part. And Severus was shocked. So shocked that he almost missed his cue. He caught himself just in time and launched into the song, Harry right along side him.
When they finished, the small piece lasting only two minutes, Severus looked at Harry with wonder. He was utterly amazed that the blind man could remember and play with such accuracy.
Still, he was Severus Snape and he was not about to admit that aloud. Instead, he rose from his cello and stood in front of the class. “That was just a small snippet of what you will hear when the entire piece is played.”
“Who wrote this?” a boy near the back asked.
“I did,” Severus said plainly.
The look on Harry’s face made it quite plain that Harry had no idea it was Severus’ original piece. Harry said nothing, however, as Severus began to work with the students one by one.
Come dinner, Severus found himself at the staff table seated at the end, directly next to Remus. The tawny-haired man stayed respectably quiet until Severus struck up a conversation.
“Some of these children don’t seem to have anything wrong with them,” Severus said, pointing his fork round the room.
Remus looked up at Severus, surprised that the man would voluntarily speak with him. “Some of their conditions aren’t as apparent as the others with physical handicaps.”
Severus frowned. “It’s just amazing to me that so many in Britain would go without homes just because of some condition.”
Remus lowered his gaze and sighed. “That’s because most of them are not from Britain. Most of them come from the…” Remus paused for a moment, “the poorer parts of Europe.”
“The poorer parts,” Severus repeated. “And this is legal?”
Remus smiled and said cheerfully, “Absolutely not.”
“Why haven’t they shut you down?” Severus demanded.
“They have,” Remus replied. “Many times, actually. Unfortunately for the Ministry, we’re one of the very few schools who can do what we do.”
“So are you saying,” Severus asked with a frown, “that these children become citizens?”
“Only a few of them actually gain citizenship,” Remus said, a bit of sadness colouring his voice. “When they turn eighteen it’s up to them to figure out where they want to go. Most of them go back to where they came from, hopefully better than they were when they arrived.”
“None of them have accents,” Severus pointed out.
“All of them arrive when they’re quite young,” Remus said. “All of them speak English flawlessly.”
Severus fell silent and his gaze secretly crept across the table to Harry Potter. Harry was eating his meal and chatting happily with another professor, unawares that Severus was watching him.
“And what about Potter’s boy. What landed him here?”
Remus kept his voice lowered when he spoke next. “He was given to his aunt and uncle but when he developed the cancer in his eyes they decided they didn’t want to care for a blind boy. I found him by chance, not even knowing whose son he was until they gave me the birth papers.”
“Imagine your shock,” Severus said sarcastically.
“Not just for me,” Remus defended. “There he was, three years old and he’d just had his eyes removed from his head. He was barely healing and suddenly his family was chucking him into some cold orphanage. It wasn’t exactly something he deserved, no matter what his father had done in the past.”
Severus clenched his jaw and said nothing more for the rest of the meal.
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The normal nightly routine for Harry and Remus was tea and conversation. This night, however, Harry failed to show up at Remus’ door. After giving the younger man an hour to arrive, Remus decided to head down the corridor to Harry’s rooms.
Knocking loudly, Remus stepped back until he heard the eventual, “Come in!” Remus pushed open the door and switched on the lamp, flooding the room with soft light. Remus spotted Harry on the sofa with a box of photographs on his lap.
The box was very familiar to the tawny-haired man. When Harry had been brought to the school, Remus was a young teacher. Knowing the boy had nothing from his past, Remus went through his things and managed to put together a box of photographs. Since photos were useless to the blind boy, Remus made a Braille tag for each photo describing what was happening in each. It was utterly invaluable to Harry, who had nothing left of his family.
“You didn’t come by for tea,” Remus said softly, putting his hand on the back of the sofa.
“Sorry,” Harry said, his fingers trailing over one of the Braille tags. “I should’ve said something but I was distracted.”
Remus sighed and sat down on the sofa. “You’ve seemed a bit distracted for a few days now. Is something wrong?”
Harry shrugged and said nothing. That was unnerving for Remus as Harry was always open with Remus and had come to him with any problem.
“Is it something I’ve said or done?” Remus inquired.
Harry lowered his face and put the photo aside. Remus glanced over and saw it was one of James and Lily’s wedding photos. “I heard something you didn’t mean for me to hear,” Harry said softly. Lifting his head, Harry turned his face towards Remus. “What did my father do to Severus?”
Remus was not expecting the question, yet he found he was not exactly surprised to hear it. It was still the most difficult question because Remus had hoped he would go his entire life without telling Harry about James’ darker side.
Remus also realised that Harry had overheard the conversation in the corridor. “You heard us,” he said for conformation.
Harry gave a slow nod. “I didn’t mean to, I was just there.”
“It’s difficult to explain what James did,” Remus said. “There was one incident…”
“Is that the one Severus said didn’t matter?” Harry asked, “Because if it is, I don’t want to know about that one. I want you to tell me why Severus thinks my father is so awful.”
So Remus told him. He carefully explained that for seven years James, Sirius, Peter and himself were bullies. He told about pranks and names and incidents that made Severus’ life difficult.
“You must understand he was not totally innocent in this, Harry. Severus had his share of the bad things as well.”
“I’m sure he did have his share. Wouldn’t you?” Harry sounded tense, more angry than he ever sounded. “I don’t blame him for disliking me.”
“Harry,” Remus replied with a sigh, “Severus hates most people. He’s disagreeable when he’s at his best. Still, to dislike you because of your father…”
Harry shook his head and reached over, picking the photo back up. His finger trailed over it. “I look like my father still, don’t I?”
“Yes,” Remus said quietly. “More than you did before.”
Harry fell silent for another moment. “Is Sirius Black in these photos?”
Remus had deliberately left Sirius out of the Braille tag. Harry had always known about Sirius and Remus knew that but it was still painful for Remus to talk about it. He had loved Sirius deeply once and the pain of his betrayal had never lessened.
“He is,” Remus eventually said.
“Sirius was the worst, wasn’t he?” Harry asked.
Remus swallowed thickly. “To Severus? Yes, he was.”
Harry sighed and put the photo on his lap. “Do you miss him?”
“Sirius?” Remus asked, sounding surprised by the question. Remus looked down at Sirius in the photo. “Yes,” he said in a tone so quiet Harry could barely hear him. Remus took in Sirius’ storm-coloured eyes, long black hair and carefree smile. Things had been so much easier then. So much easier.
Harry eventually sighed and gathered up the photos, putting them back in the box. “Would you like tea, Remus?” he offered once everything was tidy.
“No, thank you,” Remus said.
Harry gave a slow nod. “I suppose I’ll see you in the morning.”
Remus stood up and as an afterthought, reached out and grabbed Harry’s shoulder. “I don’t think he hates you, Harry, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Harry said nothing, and after a few moments, Remus left the room.
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The weeks passed swiftly in the music programme. Severus found the students for his small orchestra and at that point his class separated from Harry’s. Severus refused to admit he missed the presence of the blind man. He refused to admit he didn’t hate the younger man as much as he told himself he did. He refused to admit there was possibly a budding attraction.
Because there wasn’t.
Was there?
Severus’ question was answered one stormy afternoon. Earlier in the day, Severus had found Harry sitting outside. He was under the awning on the school steps, letting the spray of the rain wash over his face.
Unable to quell his curiosity, Severus asked, “What are you doing out here?”
Harry smiled and turned his face towards Severus. “I love the rain.”
“Why?” Severus all-but demanded.
Harry shrugged. “It’s calming. It’s… cleansing.”
Severus had nothing to say to that. He turned on his heel and walked back into the school, shivering a bit as the door slammed shut.
Later in the afternoon, Severus found Harry looking rather anxious. The blind man was pacing the corridor and Severus’ curiosity would not just let him walk past.
“Why are you fretting?” Severus blurted.
Harry froze. “Snape?”
“Yes,” Severus said.
Harry let out a breath. “I’ve received news… disconcerting news concerning one of the students.”
“Oh?” Severus asked.
“It’s about Michael Kelley, the deaf boy.”
“Percussion?” Severus asked.
“Yes, him. He arrived from Russia when he was just a day old. Now the government is trying to force him back to Russia. I need to get to his records but I can’t see them and Remus has left on business.”
Against better judgment and character, Severus said, “Can I help?” The moment the words left his lips he wanted to kick himself.
Harry’s face brightened. “You can help. They’re in the cellar beneath the school. There are boxes of records and I need to find his.”
“How disorganised is the cellar?” Severus asked fearfully.
“Alphabetised,” Harry said.
“Fine,” Severus said and resigned himself to the favour.
Harry quickly led the way down the corridor. They stopped in front of a large metal door with a small keypad off to the side. Harry’s fingers traced over the keypad for a second and then he quickly punched in a code.
“They keep it this way because our records have been broken into several times,” Harry explained as the metal door clicked open.
Severus gave an indifferent grunt as he followed Harry into the darkened corridor. The door slammed shut behind them as Severus looked up at the dim ground level window where the stairs began. Beyond the window it was pitch black. “Is there a light or something?” Severus asked, sounding slightly annoyed.
“Oh right, I forgot,” Harry said with a small smile. Trailing his hand along the wall, Harry ventured down the dark stairs. Severus waited at the top of the stairs until he heard a click and the room was suddenly filled with fluorescent light.
“Are they on?” Harry called out.
“Yes,” Severus said as he ventured down the stairs. At the bottom, Severus looked round a rather large room that was filled with large cabinets that looked to contain files. They were labelled with large black letters and dates.
“How do we begin?” Severus asked after a long moment’s silence.
“We need to find the files that are listed under K and the year 1995 which is the year he arrived here.”
Severus let out a sigh. “I’m going to be doing all the work, aren’t I?”
Harry let out a laugh. “Yes, as a matter of fact, you are.”
Rolling his eyes, Severus began to wander amongst the files until he came across the one he was looking for. “Here it is,” he called out.
“Excellent,” Harry said with a grin. “I need every file listed for Michael Kelley.”
Severus nodded, opened the drawer and retrieved every file for the boy that was in there. “Do you really think this is going to help keep the boy here?” he asked as he handed the files over to Harry.
“I have no idea,” Harry confessed. “We’re trying to get enough funds to hire a decent lawyer to oversee this case. Michael is a good boy and I’d hate to send him back to that place.”
“Have you been to a Russian orphanage?” Severus challenged.
Harry nodded grimly. “Yes, I have. The one Michael has to be in is the worst.”
“How is it any different from the others?” Severus asked with a frown.
Harry turned his face down. “Michael was born to an HIV positive mother.”
Severus’ eyes widened. “He has AIDS?”
“Not yet, but most likely he will,” Harry said.
Severus decided not to comment on that. He opened his mouth to suggest they go when a huge crash of thunder sounded outside. Both Harry and Severus started a bit, Harry letting out a nervous laugh. “It’s supposed to be like this most of the week.”
“Wonderful,” Severus snarked, and just as the word left his mouth, another thunder crashed and the lights suddenly went out.
“We’d better get upstairs,” Harry said.
“I’d be happy to if I could see the way,” Severus snarled. “The lights have gone out.”
Harry cocked his head to the side and realised he couldn’t hear the electrical hum of the lights any longer. “Bugger,” he cursed.
“Sorry?” Severus asked, trying not to sound worried.
“The exit is all electrical. We’d better get to the top to see if the door will open.” Harry moved towards Severus and took the older man’s arm. “Just keep hold of me. I know my way.”
Severus ungratefully allowed himself to be led back to the stairs by the blind man. Once they reached the dim light of the window, Severus wrenched his arm away from Harry and stood against the wall.
Harry, meanwhile, punched in the code to the door several times but to no avail. “It looks like we’re stuck here until the power comes on.”
“Bloody brilliant,” Severus snarled and sank down on the stair. “So we’re stuck here.”
“Unfortunately,” Harry said and sat down as well. “I didn’t realise the power would go out.”
Severus said nothing. He merely turned his face towards the window and watched as the rain hit hard on the soft ground.
It seemed an eternity went by in total silence before there was a loud banging on the door. Harry was immediately on his feet. “Hello?!”
“Who’s in there?” called a voice. It sounded like Remus.
“Harry and Severus,” Harry called back. “Remus, is the generator working?”
“No,” Remus called out. “The lightening hit the generator and now we’re without any power.”
“Well the door won’t open,” Severus snapped loudly. “How can you get us out of here?”
There was a pregnant pause before Remus said, “You’ll just have to wait for the power to come back on. It usually doesn’t take more than a few hours.”
“I hate you,” Severus muttered as he rested the back of his head against the wall.
“Are you two okay in there?” Remus called out.
“We’ll live,” Harry said, sounding dismayed.
“I’m going to do rounds to check on the other students. I promise I’ll be back,” Remus called out and then all they heard were his footfalls on the floor as he walked away.
There was another long moment of silence before Harry stood up. “I’m hungry.”
“Not much you can do about it in here, is there?” Severus grumbled.
“Actually…” Harry said and ventured back down the stairs. Severus watched the dark space for a long moment before Harry walked back up carrying a large box. Harry sat down and began to pry at the top of the box. “We keep all the dry items down here for safe keeping,” Harry explained. He pulled the top of the box open and pulled out a packet of biscuits. He opened the packet and offered one to Severus.
“Thank you,” Severus muttered very quietly.
There was more silence as the two men consumed part of the packet. Eventually Harry set the box aside and sat back against the wall.
“Severus,” he said very quietly. “I spoke to Remus about you.”
“Indeed?” Severus asked with an eyebrow quirked.
“I asked him about my father.”
“Ah,” Severus said. He was curious where the conversation was going so he said nothing more.
“I’m… well for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Severus demanded.
“For the way he treated you. I don’t blame you for disliking me because…”
“Remus put that rubbish in your head,” Severus snapped. “I’m not an idiot, I realise it was not you that tormented me. I’m also not so petty as to hold a grudge into the next generation.”
Harry blinked in surprise. “I just thought you disliked me because of my father.”
“I dislike everyone,” Severus said blandly.
“That’s what Remus said,” Harry replied with a small laugh.
“Well it’s true. I have no faith in humanity, and I don’t expect that to change. I don’t like anyone because no one lives up to what they’re worth.”
“I do,” Harry said quietly.
“Oh?” Severus challenged. “Is that why you keep yourself locked in this school?” Harry was silenced with shock so Severus continued. “Remus told me how you’ve spent your entire life in this school. How is that living up to what you’re worth?”
“I’ve accomplished many things despite my disability,” Harry snapped.
“Yes but you’ve done it all within your little safety shell. How is that living at all?”
Harry said nothing for the longest time. “I never thought there was anything worth knowing out there,” he whispered. “You seem to hate it.”
“I do. But I still live it.”
Harry turned his face away from Severus and fell quiet for quite a long time. Eventually, as another boom of thunder rolled across the sky, Harry said. “You’re an amazing musician.”
“I know,” Severus said.
“I didn’t know you had written that piece you’re having the children play.”
“It was one of my first pieces,” Severus said mildly. “I expanded it recently.”
“How many pieces have you written?” Harry asked.
“A fair few,” Severus replied.
“Have you always been a musician?”
“As long as I can remember,” Severus said.
Harry sighed and then said, “I’d love to hear your other works.”
“I travel in a symphony from time to time. You’re welcome to catch me there.” Severus knew he was being deliberately unfriendly but he couldn’t help it. It was his nature.
“Would it trouble you too much to play me something before you leave?”
Severus pressed his lips together in thought before finally saying, “I don’t suppose that will be too much trouble.”
Harry grinned but before he could give his thanks, the lights flickered back on and the door opened. Severus and Harry both stood to see Remus in the doorway looking relieved and a little worried.
“You survived alright?” he asked Harry as the two men stepped out into the corridor.
“It wasn’t total torture,” Harry said and handed the files to Remus. “These are Michael’s. Severus and I were down there looking for them.”
Remus looked at Severus with curiosity in his eyes. “You were helping Harry?”
“He asked me to,” was all Severus replied with before stalking back down the corridor to his warm rooms for a long kip.
dbdbdb
A fortnight before Severus’ term was up at the school, he decided he would play a piece for Harry. He went out looking for the man to invite him over after dinner and found Harry sitting in his office.
Before Severus could ask what was wrong, he noticed that Harry looked rather upset. “Did I come at a bad time?” Severus offered, trying to sound at least a little friendly.
“Yes… no…” Harry said with a shrug. “I’ve just been given word that our lawyer has lost the case and Michael is to be sent back to Russia on the first of January.”
Severus let out a slow breath. “Is there nothing to be done?”
“We can’t afford the appeal,” Harry said glumly. Harry waited a moment before asking, “Is there something you needed?”
“I wanted to invite you to my quarters after dinner to hear me play but I understand if you’re too busy.” Severus kept his tone completely neutral.
At the offer, however, Harry perked up. “I’d be happy to.”
“If you’re sure,” Severus said cautiously. He didn’t want to admit he had his hopes up for this. He was still in total denial that he felt for the younger man at all.
“No I’d love to hear you play.” Harry stood up. “I’ll go finish up my work and meet you after dinner.”
“See you then,” Severus said and quickly walked off.
Dinner passed quickly for them both, though they didn’t speak once. Severus was the first to finish and excused himself from the table. Rushing to his quarters, Severus quickly set up his cello and then set out some tea for the both of them to share.
One half hour passed before there was a knock on the door and Severus told himself he was not nervous. At all.
Severus took a deep breath before he opened the door. Harry was standing there with a small smile and extended his hand. “Sorry, I don’t know your quarters.”
Severus allowed Harry to take his arm and paused for a moment so the younger man could familiarise himself with the surroundings. Eventually Harry took a seat on the sofa and Severus sat in the armchair near him.
“I’ve made tea,” Severus offered. “Or I have something a bit stronger.”
Harry’s smile widened. “What else do you have?”
“Brandy and wine,” Severus said, surprised that Harry would choose alcohol.
“I’ll have wine, if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all,” Severus murmured as he stood up. Heading for the small kitchen, Severus fetched the chilled bottle and poured two glasses. He walked back to the lounge and handed Harry the glass. “It’s red wine, the only sort I will drink,” Severus explained as he took his seat.
Harry sipped at the dark liquid and smiled. “It is my most favourite kind,” he said and took another long drink. Before long, both glasses had been drained and refilled.
Severus was feeling more relaxed and he noted with inner amusement that Harry had gone rather pink round the ears. “Well I did promise you a song,” Severus said as he started on his third glass of wine. “Shall I play?”
“Please do,” Harry said.
Severus quickly refilled Harry’s glass before taking his seat at the cello. He didn’t need any music; he knew it all by heart. Harry sat back to listen as Severus tuned the instrument a bit and drew the bow across the strings, going up and down the scales. The rich sound filled the room pleasantly, complimenting the wine and warm fire. Harry’s smile broadened even more and he closed his eyes as Severus drew the bow across the strings again, launching into a song.
The piece was very slow at first, the notes drawing out over and over again. Eventually it picked up speed but never lost the slightly dark quality. When it was over, Harry was leaning forward
Severus dropped the bow down to his side and looked at Harry. “That’s something I wrote a long time ago.”
“It was amazing,” Harry breathed. “Of course I’m rather drunk so I’m not feeling very articulate but honestly Severus, I’m amazed.”
The corners of Severus’ mouth twitched up briefly as he stood up and sat down on the sofa next to Harry. “Thank you,” he muttered.
“You’re welcome,” Harry said.
There was an awkward silence before Harry blurted out, “I was so nervous when I came here tonight.”
“Why?” Severus asked, leaning his head against the side of the sofa.
“Because…” Harry said, blushed heavily and hesitated a moment. “Because I rather like you.”
Severus blinked, startled a bit. “Me? You rather like me? Why on earth?”
Harry chuckled a bit and shook his head. “I wouldn’t be telling you this but I can’t seem to stop myself.” He paused to laugh again. “I just fancy you. Dunno what it is, but I do.”
Severus was floored by this. He didn’t expect Harry to fancy him. He certainly didn’t expect Harry to be gay. “You fancy men?” Severus blurted.
“Seems so,” Harry said. “I’ve not had a lot of experience in the matter but I’ve had enough. And there’s something about you that just…” Harry shrugged. “Dunno how to explain it.”
Severus made a sort of, “Huh,” sound and sat back against the sofa. He rubbed his hand over his face and tried to tell his body to stop being drunk. It didn’t work. “That’s a surprise to me. I’m not pleasant and I’m usually not fancied back.”
“Fancied back?” Harry asked, his eyes widening. “You like me too?”
Severus gave a small shrug. “It seems so.”
Harry fell very quiet for a moment and then carefully moved so that he was sitting shoulder to shoulder with Severus. “That’s a surprise to me. I thought you hated me.”
“I thought I made that one clear,” Severus said quietly.
“You only said you didn’t hate me because I’m my father’s son,” Harry replied.
“Ah,” Severus said, unsure what to say to that. “Well is it clear now?”
“I think so,” Harry said. Turning to face Severus, Harry reached up and found Severus’ mouth. He brought his face in so close they could feel each other’s breaths ghosting across their skin.
Severus closed his eyes and just when he thought the kiss was never going to happen, Harry leant forward and pressed their mouths together. Severus found his hand snaking up, wrapping round the back of Harry’s neck as his lips opened and Harry’s tongue slipped in.
The kiss lasted only a few moments, but those moments felt like forever. When Severus pulled back, both of them were slightly breathless and very confused. Severus let out a small breath and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“You hated it?” Harry asked after a moment.
“No,” Severus said. “You?”
“No,” Harry said and then laughed a little. “Confused?”
“Very,” Severus said.
“Me too. So now what?”
“Not sure,” Severus said. “I’m not used to any of this. Most of my relationships are dodgy hotel rooms with little light and first names only.”
“I see,” Harry said. “I’ve only had two and one ended rather badly. The other ended rather… oddly.”
Severus frowned a little but said nothing. Eventually his hand, all on its own, mind, found its way across their legs and twinned with Harry’s. The younger man smiled very softly and squeezed Severus’ fingers.
“Do you still… want me?” Harry asked tentatively.
Severus swallowed and asked himself the same question. Did he? The answer was obvious and he let out a short breath. “Yes.”
“Good,” Harry said. He turned his head to meet Severus’ lips once more. Eventually hands roamed, clothing was discarded and by the warmth of the fire, Severus slipped into Harry and brought them both to climax.
It was intense, to say the least, and by the time it was over, Harry and Severus were both ready to sleep. Severus didn’t bother to ask Harry to stay and Harry didn’t bother to go. It remained unspoken as they made their way to Severus’ bed, slipped beneath the covers and dropped into a deep slumber.
When Severus woke the next morning he felt a bit awkward. Harry’s hand was lying on his stomach, absently rubbing the bare skin. Severus gave a small yawn and stretched a bit.
“Awake?” Harry asked.
“Barely,” Severus murmured, his voice thick with sleep.
“Is it light out?”
Severus yawned again. “Yes, just.”
“I suppose we ought to get up and ready for the day.”
“Remus is going to know,” Severus said cautiously.
Harry laughed a bit. “He already knows.”
“Ah,” Severus replied.
“He doesn’t particularly like it but he trusts me.”
Severus chanced a very small smile and against his entire character, he leant over and kissed Harry softly. Harry kissed back, cupping Severus’ cheeks gently with his hand.
“Time to get up,” Harry groaned and carefully extracted himself from the bed. Eventually clothing was put on and before long, the two professors were at breakfast, ready to go about their regular day.
It was clear from Remus’ expression at breakfast that he knew the two had finally gotten together but Severus could see the kindness in his eyes. Nothing was spoken about it as Severus went to his class.
The next few nights passed much the same, dinner taken in Severus’ quarters with conversation, wine and eventual sex on the floor, the bed, the kitchen, the bathroom. It was amazing and Severus felt some semblance of contentment.
It wasn’t to last, however, because his term was almost up. And then what? Harry was still a professor at Hogwarts and Severus still travelled more often than not with the symphony.
He decided it would be best to bring it up to Harry after dinner that night. Harry had already said he was taking his meal in the Great Hall so Severus waited in his quarters until Harry walked in.
The younger man placed a kiss on Severus’ cheek before sitting down next to his lover. “How was your meal?” Harry asked.
“Fine,” Severus said almost snappishly.
Harry frowned. “Is something wrong?”
“We need to talk about some things,” Severus said and winced a little when Harry went pale.
“About what?” Harry questioned.
“My term is almost up here,” Severus said plainly. “What happens when I leave?” Harry swallowed thickly. “I hadn’t thought. I guess I just didn’t imagine you leaving.”
“You didn’t expect me to stay here, did you?” Severus asked with a snort.
“Well honestly I figured you’d take on a post here,” Harry said, sounding defensive. “You can have the music post if you’d like it. There are plenty of posts here for me to take.”
Severus sighed. “I don’t fancy working with children, Harry. You know that.”
Harry crossed his arms. “I thought you said they weren’t that bad.”
“They aren’t as bad as I imagined,” Severus sneered. “But they’re still children and I don’t like children.”
“So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying we need to work something out. You could always move into the city,” Severus ventured. “You could commute here for work.”
Harry paled further. “I can’t do that.”
“You’re still afraid,” Severus said.
“I’m just not ready to live there, Severus,” Harry said softly.
“If you’re not ready now, you never will be,” Severus snapped.
“That’s not true,” Harry all but shouted.
Severus stood up and pinched the bridge of his nose. “If you can’t compromise with me, Harry, we can’t do this anymore.”
“What are you saying?” Harry whispered.
“Exactly that,” Severus said coldly. “If you cannot meet me half way, we cannot continue.”
Harry lifted a shaking hand and raked it back through his hair. “I thought you wanted us.”
“I do,” Severus said, “but I’m not willing to live behind these walls for us.”
“I suppose that’s it then,” Harry said and stood up.
“I suppose it is,” Severus replied. He said nothing as Harry brushed past him and walked out of his quarters. He flinched a little as the door slammed and when Harry was gone, Severus sank down onto the sofa and let out a shaking breath. It wasn’t how he imagined the conversation would go.
It was, however, how he imagined it would end. Severus was not used to getting or keeping what he wanted. None of it was a shock.
Pouring himself a brandy, Severus decided to do one more thing before he left. He picked up the phone and dialled a number he hadn’t phoned in ages.
“Malfoy,” came the deep drawl.
“Lucius? This is Severus Snape.”
“Snape, old man!” Lucius said, sounding very surprised. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“I have a favour to ask of you,” Severus said smoothly.
Lucius chuckled. “Not a surprise there. How can I possibly help?”
Severus took a deep breath and quickly explained the situation. Lucius listened carefully as Severus explained his plan. “Any chance you can help?”
“I’m certain I can. May I ask, though, why on earth are you doing this?”
Severus was silent a long moment. “Because I felt like doing something nice in my life.”
“For once,” Lucius joked. “Phone me in the morning and we’ll work out the proper details.”
“Thank you.”
“Any time, Severus,” Lucius said and both men rang off.
Severus had one more errand to do before the concert tomorrow. Then he would sleep out his last night and prepare to go back to his life without the man he had fallen for.
dbdbdb
The second time a knock sounded on his door that night, Remus was certain it was Harry again. He was shocked to find, however, that it was not the young man but the person who’d broken Harry’s heart.
“Severus,” Remus said carefully.
“I need to speak with you about something.”
“Please come in,” Remus said and led Severus to the lounge. Pouring tea, Remus pushed it across the small table and Severus picked it up.
“I imagine you’ve spoken to Harry already,” Severus said, reading the look in Remus’ eyes.
Remus chuckled. “That I have. I’m always a shoulder to cry on if that’s what you need me for.”
Severus snorted. “Not bloody likely, Lupin. I don’t cry.”
“Fair enough. But I do have to say I wish things hadn’t ended between you two. You were good for each other.”
“He’s not ready for me,” Severus said plainly. “And don’t argue, you know it’s the truth.”
“Actually I think he is ready for you, he just doesn’t realise it yet.”
“All the same, I can’t help him there. He has to find that out for himself,” Severus replied.
“He’s been hurt before,” Remus said. “I shouldn’t tell you this but I think you ought to know.”
“He did tell me he had two relationships, one that ended badly and one that ended oddly,” Severus said, taking a sip of the tea.
“Yes, that is true. The first one was very bad,” Remus said. “It was a young boy, sent here after being arrested and he was ordered by the courts to volunteer here. He met Harry and they had a brief fling. It was just before Harry sat his exams.”
“What happened?”
“The young man was not interested in Harry, just fascinated by him. When Harry offered to leave the school with him the boy laughed and mocked Harry, told him he would always belong in a place like this.”
Severus’ eyes darkened. “Rubbish,” he spat.
“Yes, and it took years to convince Harry otherwise.”
“And the other?” Severus questioned and then looked at Remus oddly when he noticed the other man go a bit red. Severus blinked a moment and then said, “It was you?”
Remus nodded and looked down. “Just two years ago. Harry wasn’t doing well and after talking many nights something just happened. It took us both quite some time to realise we weren’t meant for each other. I broke it off and he took it badly. Eventually he realised why I’d done it and we’ve moved past it.”
“You buggered Potter’s son,” Severus said, shaking his head. “That man must be turning round in his grave right now.”
“He’d kill us both were he alive,” Remus said with a chuckle.
“Well it’s up to Harry again to realise what he needs to be with me. I won’t give, Lupin. I won’t live here.”
“I never expected you to. It’ll just take him time.”
“I can wait for him, but I don’t expect him to wait for me,” Severus said.
Remus sighed and then said, “What did you want to see me about?”
Severus quickly launched into his plan. When it was over, Remus was more pleased than he could possibly be and Severus went off to his quarters. He had a long day ahead of him and then he could return to his life.
dbdbdb
The concert went as it was supposed to and Severus left without any goodbyes. He merely slipped out the doors whilst everyone was at dinner and returned to his flat. It felt odd to be back there but the very next day Severus booked himself for another tour and tried to forget about Harry Potter.
Six months passed. And then another three. Severus eventually found himself back in England performing a concert in London. He had all but forgotten about the raven-haired man and he wasn’t thinking of him when he got on stage.
Half way through his last piece, however, Severus’ eyes scanned the crowd and landed on the painfully familiar face. It was Harry. He was accompanied by Lupin who caught his eye and nodded. Severus quickly finished up, made his bows and exited the stage.
As the audience was clearing the building, Severus stood in the corridor beside the stage and saw Harry and Remus making their way up. Remus whispered something to Harry and then let the younger man’s arm go. Harry extended his cane and walked forward until he was standing in front of Severus.
“You got Michael citizenship,” Harry said.
Severus’ eyebrows rose. “So Lucius managed it?”
“How did you find such a brilliant lawyer?” Harry asked.
“I have my connections,” Severus said blandly. “You’re outside of your walls tonight.”
Harry swallowed thickly and nodded. “For you.”
“Why?” Severus demanded.
“Because I realised I was actually ready.”
Before Severus could respond, Harry leant forward and pressed his lips to Severus’. Their tongues clashed as they furiously joined once again, hands gripping at each other as though they were afraid to let go. Eventually Severus pulled back and pressed his forehead to Harry’s.
“My flat?” he asked.
Harry nodded. “Sounds perfect.”
dbdbdb
Hours later, Severus woke to the sounds of rain and a half-empty bed. He sat up and saw a figure sitting out on the terrace. Grumbling a little, Severus fetched his dressing gown and stepped outside. The awning kept the rain from falling on the two of them, but the wind carried a light mist into their faces.
“What are you doing out here?” Severus asked as he opened his arms to Harry,
“Listening to the rain,” Harry replied. “It’s always raining with me.”
“Why do you say that?” Severus asked as he pressed the tip of his large nose into Harry’s damp hair.
“Because the rain is perfect for me. It’s sound everywhere. It’s wonderful.”
“Cleansing?” Severus offered.
“Amongst other things,” Harry said with a laugh. “I think I can be happy here.”
“Even with me?” Severus questioned.
“Especially with you,” Harry replied and lifted his face for a kiss. “Do you find it odd that I don’t know what you look like?”
“Why do you ask?” Severus wondered.
“Remus always found it odd. He couldn’t stop obsessing over it.”
Severus shrugged. “You do see me… as you see things.” Severus paused. “Do you remember what things look like?”
Harry shook his head. “Not really.”
“Then it shouldn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t,” Harry said with a smile and pressed his face to Severus’ chest. “I do love you, though,” Harry whispered as an afterthought. “You should know that.”
Severus chanced a very small smile and drew Harry just a little bit tighter. “I know.”
Harry turned his face up to Severus once more, smiled and asked, “Severus, is it raining with you?”